CT Rewriting the OT to suit the SEQUELS (humor)

Sorry for the stack, can't edit last post.

 

Luke: No. You're coming with me. I can't leave you here. I've got to save you.

Vader: Oh no, don't worry about me. My clone is arriving from Kamino next week. That said you'll have to convince my clone to kill the emperor's clone.

Luke: What?!?! How do I do that?

Vader: Do that thing where you get zapped by force lightning and do the "father please" bit. That should work.

 

Emperor: There is a great disturbance in the force.
Vader: I have felt it.
Emperor: We have a new enemy, the young rebel who destroyed the Death Star. I have no doubt this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker.
Vader: How is that possible?
Emperor: Well you know I have my own kids, I just have an instinct about this sort of thing.
Vader: Er... I didn't mean, I really didn't need to know that my master.
Emperor: Oh. Well, now you do.
Vader: uh......
Emperor: Well just so you know I know what its like, these rebellious youths can be a real pain.

 

"Can I speak to Wilhulff Tarkin please? Yes, I'll hold"

 

"See you around dad"

"Luke?.......... Has he left? ..........................Oh bugger!"

 

I call this Solo shot first twice.

 

Leia: Don't worry Chewie, I left you a medal in my last will and testament.

 

Obi-Wan: Strike me down and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Vader: You mean you’ll become a Force Ghost? Sidious can do that too.




Emperor: Strike me down with all of your hatred and I shall return in a clone body. Meet me on Exegol.

 

Mon Mothma: BTW I blame those dirty Coruscanti for the Empire so we're going to change the capital at the end of the war. End of discussion.

 

“You must go to the degobah system” Obi Wan stated. “This is a random side quest that will be in the film for no reason”