ST Rey VS Me

The action takes place before The Force Awakens. Rey is on Jakku. She is alone without a weapon in the wilderness. I am appearing (human race, boy, 17 years old, 75kg, 177cm). I want to eat Rey but before I do, I have to defeat her. No weapons, no escape, no help. Who would win? How exactly will the fight go?

 

Fight: short
Finishing move: Lock
Winner: Mods

 

"I want to eat Rey".

Uh......

 

Bless. A youngling. This thread is closing in ... 3 . 2 ..

 

Poor hypothetical for many reasons. Rey doesn’t go places without a weapon. She’s also shown she’s capable of extreme violence. Even guided innately by the Force in her instincts and reaction time she’d destroy you. Do you really think that walker home of hers was never challenged? Her hand eye coordination is impeccable and she’s shown she’s athletic. Even if she had to use limbs to attack she likely could and we’ve seen plenty of Force users have the Force awaken in them specifically through adrenaline and survival instinct so you could count on that, too. Ultimately, she’d sense your attacks and avoid them and get you at a point of vulnerability.

 

I made it in and did an Indiana Jones move of grabbing my hat before the lock takes off my hand.

 

Lock the thread, please

 

“It’s time for locked threads... to end.”

US: “Why? Leia sent us here with hope. If she was wrong, she deserves to know why. We all do.

“Now that they’re extinct, locked threads are romanticized, defied. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the locked threads is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris.”

US: “That's not true!”

“At the height of their powers, they allowed Reddit to rise, create an Empire, and wipe them out. It was a locked thread that was responsible for the training of the upvoting and downvoting concept and creation of Reddit.”

 

To quote Lucille Bluth: "I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it."

 

Than how exatly she will beat me? What moves she will use?

 

Mods seem to be ... in exile. Let the lock die.

 

Based on your imagination I’m thinking something like, “Look at that corpse over there!” followed by a few strikes with her fist or palm might work.

Then, her adrenaline would kick in the Force and you’d be unable to hit her and would tire and she’d strike you some more aided by the Force.

 

Where's Thanos when you need him?

 

Step 1: Take off your shirt

Step 2: If you have massively sexy abs, go to step 3. If you don’t, go to step 4.

Step 3: Tell her she’s nothing, but not to you. She will then be susceptible to your every suggestion and you can begin eating her without fear.

Step 4: Go to the gym for a month and work on your abs. Then go to step 1.

 

Nah. She's going to summon the force and drop a massive rock lock on your head.