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Saga Root and Weed - OCs, early OT, July/Aug OC Challenge Entry

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Thumper09, Aug 5, 2007.

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  1. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Dec 9, 2001
    Title: Root and Weed
    Author: Thumper09
    Timeframe: A few months after the Battle of Yavin
    Characters: OC's
    Summary: A scientist learns a secret about something he cares about.
    Notes: This is my entry for the July/August [link=]Essential OC[/link] Challenge: "More Than Meets The Eye... Your OC is about to make a shocking discovery. The object/person/droid they have seen everyday for years is going to turn out to be something very different from first impressions. Is their fiance actually an underworld hitman? Is their hairy, burly partner in crime really a ballet dancer? Is their airspeeder really a 40-foot robot? Whatever the case may be, will your OC like this sudden change...or will they hate it?"
    Another writing experiment on my part, but that's the fun part of these challenges for me--getting a chance to see what works and what doesn't. ;)
    Disclaimer: I am not George Lucas; therefore, Star Wars isn't mine.

    Constructive criticism is most welcome, either in the thread or in PM.


    "Root and Weed"

    Numerous awards hung on the wall in the large den. They had been strategically placed in that exact location so the morning sunshine of Treminal III hit their golden accents just right. Their owner often ate breakfast in the den and watched them come to life with their ethereal glow.

    He was doing so now while letting a steaming cup of caf warm his hands and then his throat. His large black eyes caressed the shining words on the various plaques. Milin Ba?hon?-Redrock Primary School Science Fair Winner. Milin Ba?hon-?Treminal Secondary Schools Northwest Regionals Science Champion. Milin Ba?hon?-Water Springs University Top Honors Graduate. Milin Ba?hon-?Water Springs University Award for Excellence in Botany. Milin Ba?hon?-Professional Botanists of Treminal III Up-and-Coming Award.

    There were others of various shapes and sizes, some dealing with the more specialized disciplines of plant pathology, plant ecology and horticulture, but the Bith?s gaze skipped over to and lingered longer on one plaque in particular: Milin Ba?hon?-Botanist of the Year. There were two more identical ones beside it, but this was the one his sharp yet myopic vision had memorized every aspect of, every imperfection and every flawless feature. That microscopic dent in the corner was from when he accidentally hit the plaque against the corner of the podium in his nervousness during the ceremony. This award, like the two identical, more recent ones next to it, was what had secured his status as one of the most well-known and respected beings on his homeworld of Treminal III and subsequently had allowed him to become one of the wealthiest beings in the city of Water Springs, if not on the entire planet. This was no small accomplishment amid the rising anti-alien sentiments growing among Humans in the galaxy because of the Empire. Such a feat might not have been possible anywhere else anymore.

    Milin Ba?hon smiled to himself. Life?-at least here?-was good. It always had been. The pictures on the wall of his meetings throughout the years with influential Treminal citizens and government leaders proved it.

    His morning caf finished, he strode from the spacious den to the kitchen, put his mug in the dish washing station and then headed to his work area.

    Milin took a deep breath as he entered the office-slash-greenhouse, letting the various aromas fill him up like a second cup of caf. Flora of all sorts made their home here, and the greenhouse area was ablaze in the blossoming colors of Corellian Darkroots, Coruscanti Crevice-Creepers, Duro Starbursts, Kashyyyk Field Wickets, and even Alderaanian Dayglows. Milin had personally brought some of the Dayglow plants here a few weeks before Alderaan was destroyed. In the months that had followed the tragedy, he had made it his personal mission to care for and cultivate what could be some of the only Dayglow plants left in the entire galaxy. He prized t
  2. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Very cool! I liked that twist at the end. And to have someone who avoided the events of the day at all cost to find himself in the center of it all, that's terrific irony.

    Nicely written!:cool:
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Great OCs! I love reading all the entries into the various OC challenges and this one was great! =D=
  4. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Jun 15, 2006
    Hey Thumper! Just got through reading this :D

    First of all, nice reveal of the character's name and a snapshot of what he is like. I know that seems like a little detail but it is hard to get the name of a lead character across to the audience without having someone say it or using it as part of description. The awards did that AND told us what this guy is like. I enjoy such things :p

    Now, I read this one twice and am convinced I have the thematic link correct between the Alliance permeating the Treminal-III government and people and the Alderaanian Dayglow intruder plant aggressively taking over the local plant life. That is one impressively constructed metaphor, Thumper - Supremely well handled. Making the lead character a Bith and exploring the world with heightened senses and an appreciation for botany were a great way to enhance the story. I was quite upset for Milin at the end when his point of view shifted. His planet suddenly a Rebel planet - the Mudblossom suddenly something different altogether. Highly original take on the transformation motif!

    I hope I'm interpreting correctly ;) Loved this story!

    Good luck with the challenge :D
  5. Onoto

    Onoto Jedi Knight star 5

    Oct 7, 2004
    Excellent writing, as LP said. The whole piece was very striking, the last two lines especially. Absolutely awesome.

  6. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 19, 2005
    A nice story with a very good response to the challenge. I liked how it didn't pertain to a person, but to an entire government. Even though I'm a supporter of the rebels, I feel sorry for Milin. Good work!
  7. BigE

    BigE Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 31, 2002
    I'm with L_P - your transformations were subtle and wonderful.

    Excellent writing: the descriptions of the terrain, of the Bith's abilities for detecting scent, etc.

    A fantastic challenge response. :)
  8. Commander-DWH

    Commander-DWH Manager Emeritus star 4

    Nov 3, 2003
    Excellent response to the challenge! I wholeheartedly approve. There were a lot of small, but wonderful details in this piece. Great work!
  9. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Dec 9, 2001
    Thank you, everyone, for the replies, and apologies for the late replies on my end. [face_blush]

    divapilot: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked the end twist, even if it took a while to get the story to that point. ;)

    VaderLVR: I'm glad you enjoyed the story and the characters. Thanks for the reply!

    L_P: Hey there, Futon. :) I'm happy the awards worked as an introduction. I believe you got really darn close with your interpretation to what I had in my head while I was writing this, with the only exception being that the Alderaanian Dayglow wasn't the same plant as the intruder plant. However, I went back through and I think I found what part caused some confusion. My bad. [face_blush] I'll fix that--good to know these things. :) You did hit on the attempted thematic link between the Rebellion and the intruder plant, which was cool. :D Thanks for the reply!

    Onoto: Thanks! I'm glad the last two lines worked well. :)

    whiskers: For some inexplicable reason I always have to complicate things for myself with these challenges. :p I'm glad that you liked the larger "government scope." Thanks for reading!

    BigE: Thanks! I write humans so much that I felt like trying my hand at a non-human for once, and a Bith seemed to fit the storyline well. The different abilities with senses made some things tricky, LOL.

    Commander-DWH: Thanks much for the reply! The details were fun to sprinkle in.

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