Rudeness in the JC: Is it at a ridiculous level?

Is your idea of fun to pick on people and be rude to them?

Yes, most people do come here for fun--that's why we should be required to be nice.

 

Third grade isn't my idea of fun, I would dare say it isn't a lot of people's idea of fun.

Furthermore, I refuse to recognize your " being rude and mean to people" phrase since you have demonstrated repeatedly that your interpretations of those are so icnredibly narrow as to be stifling.

I'm soryr I don't see the benefit in an authoritaian regime of niceness that banishes people who don't comply with an arbitrary standard of politeness to the cornfield.

Did you see the movie Pleasentville?

 

However, I will state for the last time what I think of this:

People should be nice to each other here.

I feel like I have been told that there is something wrong with this belief, and I don't understand why that is. Why do people feel that they should have the right to be mean or rude?

You haven't been told there was anything wrong with that belief. I can't find one specific instance where someone said that was a blatant lie.

Yes, people should be polite here, but since rudeness is subjective there can't be any legitimate rules set against it. It's been stated many a time in this thread alone - it all depends on interpretation. I don't even know why I'm going over this, you know this as well as I do, but nobody's going to get banned over "You suck." Call it blunt, call it rude, call it whatever. I call it "just messin' with ya". It's the internet, you can't prove what someone actually means with a particular post. You gotta give these people the benefit of the doubt, because there's gonna be a lot of unhappy customers when there's a new rule saying that anything close to a rude remark results in a 48-hour spank.

I know you've stated that you have a problem with people giving each other crap here. That's cool, I respect that. But as I said, you have to be realistic, the way many people have fun here is to mess with each other in a reasonable manner (at least I think so) and taking that away from them would result in some... bad things.

While I wouldn't mind seeing more courtesy shown here myself, there is a fine line separating utter chaos from "Yes Polly Prissypants, I'd like some tea please". Looks like we're doing okay so far. You don't have to like it, but you gotta put up with some degree of rudeness. I can't imagine it being any worse at comparable message boards.

 

The preceeding was an obvious attempt at humour. This might have not come over very well, based on the fact that I suck. Even more than Krash, if that's possible.
I'm glad someone can appreciate a harmless joke when they see one. Besides, you do suck more then I do...I an a shop-vac, in comparision to your black hole-ness of sucking!

I also am not a fan of sarcasm. It wouldn't fly on any debate team or forum.
Fortunatly, this is not the debate club...it's mainly a place to talk about SW (in case anyone forgot). If you're looking for a place to conduct serious debates on issues, run for office...a good sense of humor can make discussion of topics a little more enjoyable, there are many people on the boards who are either too sensitive or too aggressive with their particular brand of humor.

that's why we should be required to be nice
Being "nice" or even just civil is not something that can be measured, or rated, and becomes up to the discretion of the board's mod. However, there needs to be a group effort by the TFN community to conduct ourselves (online) with as much common courtesy as possible. Sure we're gonna disagree...but that does not excuse attacking someone or their views with 3rd grade name calling (simply because they are in opposition to yours).

saying "i think what you are arguing is idiotic" is not personal
Ya have to be careful, in this regard, because (depending on the subject) what a person may be arguing...is very much associated with who they are. Can you honestly tell someone who argues for gun control, because they lost a loved one to gun related crime...that they're belief is idiotic? Of course not (first of all, it's heartless) it would be comparable to telling a rape victim they "had it coming." So while they may have different perspectives on the matter, no one has the authority to tell others his/her "certain point of view" is of lesser value.

This is just another example of the common problem in our society of "you can do what you want...as long as it's behind me." We as SW fans, need to conduct ourselves with a certian measure of respect for the views of others...without needing mods to go around like "morality police"

 

Ok...well, I'll put in a couple of thoughts. I know you lot dont want to hear what I have to say...but someone asked me to put in my 2 cents, so...you heathens can listen to me.

I find it a sad reflection on an individual when they decide that its ok and cool and fun to be a rude prick. I mean, who the hell do these people think they are such that they can sit there and be dirtbags to people they dont know? The anonymity of the internet shouldnt excuse people from having basic human decency, showing some modicum of respect.

That being said, mods cant make people be nice. We can only try to make sure people dont cross an imaginary line from being rude to flaming or trolling.

We all also have to make sure that we use our brains a little more. If you dont know a person, its common sense to be a little more conservative in what you say to them. You might get away with saying a few things to someone you know, but if its a complete stranger, you simply dont yet have the relationship that can accomodate personal jabs.

I find the notion that you didnt mean to cause offense, so if someone gets offended its their fault or their thin skin...well...I find that to be a load of rubbish. You may not intend to offend, but if you do so, then you should be big enough to say 'ok, I apologise and I'll be sure to be a little more conservative when dealing with you in future'.

People shouldnt be so quick to place blame at other peoples feet. In the end, if *you* say something, then *you* are responsible for it, and *you* are the one that people should be looking at if offense is taken. Dont be so quick to claim innocence when you do something bad.

What does all this mean? I dont know, I'm just putting thoughts on the e-paper.

All I know is that when I mod, I cant make people be nice. But if I come across (or have my attention drawn to) something that looks to me to be past rude, and into the realm of flaming or trolling, then I'm going to deal with it. If a member sits there and knowingly makes comments that tread the fine line between rude and over the top, then they have noone else to blame but themselves if they find themselves warned or banned.

People that often tread that fine line...well, they'll find that they're given enough rope to hang themselves.

Mods may not be able to make people be nice to each other, but I think that we have a duty to ensure that people get treated with some minimal level of respect. If members cant show that minimal level of respect to other members, then we dont have a place for them at the JC.

 

You may not intend to offend, but if you do so, then you should be big enough to say 'ok, I apologise and I'll be sure to be a little more conservative when dealing with you in future'.

People shouldnt be so quick to place blame at other peoples feet. In the end, if *you* say something, then *you* are responsible for it, and *you* are the one that people should be looking at if offense is taken. Dont be so quick to claim innocence when you do something bad.

I tend to do a lot of teasing and poking myself, but I also try to make it obvious that I'm just kidding. Obviously, I'm a lot more careful with new people, or people I don't know. I've rarely had problems, and if there were, a simple explanation (or apology) usually cleared things up.

On a somewhat unrelated note....I wish I was as smart as Dagsy.

 

Quick thoughts before I have to go to work...

Thank you, Dagsy and Krash, for coming in here as moderators and stating your opinions.

I realize that niceness is subjective and because of this, you guys can't make people be nice , however, I have seen some obvious rudeness and meanness passed over on these boards, and that is why I've posted in this thread. The TOS says that the user agrees not to post anything "hateful," so there has to be a line drawn between "rude" and "hateful" and I feel like some people enjoy toeing it.

I also agree that rather than telling someone "You're too sensitive/you're too thin-skinned/you're a pansy", you should have the decency to say "I didn't mean to offend you and I apologize." Why? Because decent people are bothered when they hurt someone's feelings, even if they do think the person shouldn't have had their feelings hurt.

 

realize that niceness is subjective and because of this, you guys can't make people be nice , however, I have seen some obvious rudeness and meanness passed over on these boards

Did you report it to the mods?

 

Always.

 

Actually Jim I am interested if Anakin Girl did, and if so what there response was.
If she did and nothing happened, I would like to see examples we could review to see what the community here thinks, I think it would push forward the discussion in a positive way.
If they did act then it seems there is no problem.

 

And I was answering the first part of your question, she always reports it to mods. If fact, she seems to be singlehandedly perpetuating this circular discussion.

The fact of the matter is that there are rude people at the JC. We all can be accused of being rude at one time or another. But what we have in this thread is a few extremely thin-skinned users that feel the need to have a thread to whine in. a_g seems to think the the rules of her classroom should apply in here, where her definition of what is acceptable should be definitive. The fact of the matter is the mods usually do hand out warnings for rudeness just for the sake of being rude. But know one should be made to respect other people's opinions. I know, DarthBane, that you do not respect some of mine nor I yours, as is our right.

Flaming has always been in the very least edited and often banned. Other than warning a discussion when it becomes too heated, I don't see what else the mods should be required to do.

 

Jim I agree with you 100% Great post.

 

As I stated at the beginning, the lesson to be learned here is that if you see a specific situation in which you feel rudeness is across the line, PM that forum's moderator(s) and let them know. We check it out and evaluate whether or not a user is out to cause trouble or if they are simply debating the post.

 

Just a general statement, if you notice something and you want to bring it to the attention of a mod, please limit it to one mod, maybe two. There's no need to PM every living moderator on the JC and Fan Force sides. That is all. Thank you.

 

Getting responses to PM's is a good thing too, Sape.

 

I think not only rudeness but bashing has reached an astonishing level. The boards are overrun with bashers who spread their venom and say stuff about how it would have made for a better story if Anakin raped Padme and that's how the children are conceived. The viciousness is astounding, and it shows no sign of slowing down.

I have been told to "be patient and tolerant, it will die down." It hasn't died down. In fact, it has only increased, and it'll increase even more when ROTK wins the Best Picture Oscar.

 

Shelley, please don't drag that isolated thread from the AotC Forum into here, add some air to it and blow it up, and claim the site is laden with bashers. It's not even remotely close to an accurate depiction.

Salty, I answer every single PM I ever receive.

 

Really?

Surely you jest.

 

[image=http://www.eonline.com/Facts/People/Photos/fs.nielsen.l.jpg]

I don't jest. And don't call me Shirley.

Eventually, a PM exchange has to end.

 

It's got to start first, but this has been taken care of through PM's (ironically enough).

 

Getting responses to PM's is a good thing too, Sape.

I honestly think that Sape must sit and hit refresh all day on his PM inbox to be able to respond to his PMs as quickly as he does.

 

That's because Sape is actually a bot.

 

I find the notion that you didnt mean to cause offense, so if someone gets offended its their fault or their thin skin...well...I find that to be a load of rubbish.
Right on!

The viciousness is astounding, and it shows no sign of slowing down.
As I am sure many of you were at Celebration II, there was a specific moment that I think is a great example of how people (not just here on the boards) need to maintain a level of respect for someone other then themselves:

Saturday there was a situation where the staff/volunteers had to close off the main staircase to the upstairs area (for overcrowding/saftey concerns). One girl was assigned to hold everyone at the bottom of the stairs, until the crowd (upstairs) had disappated to where it was safe to allow people back up. This did not matter to some (rather vocal) SW-geeks, who were only concerned with getting to where they want to be.

Now, i'm standing at the front of the crowd (bordering on a mob) with my kid sister...and I took up a spot next to this girl (constantly keeping Em by my side...in case things got bad) because the situation was getting ugly. And despite the rather vulgar shouts of a few mean-spirited, selfish, SOBs...I felt that helping to keep everyone (myself and my sister included) safe, was more important then where I wanted to be.

The same thing applys to the boards, regardless of how you act with your friends...we as a SW community need to be looking out for each other. That means setting aside a certain amount of "what I want" for the better of everyone here.

 

That's because Sape is actually a bot.

That would explain why he answers all my questions with "I know you are, but what am I?"

 

Well, as evidenced here, some people are WAY too thin skinned. I don't expect people to post all good stuff all the time. We are human. I'm not talking about disagreeing with opinions. Some people seem to think that if others disagree with them, they are rude. That's not the case. They disagree with you. Don't go off and start insinuating that you are being called names because of it. I agree, people need to toughen up, but not to the point of tolerating obvious blatant flaming.