S.M.O.O.C.H. : Dedicated to the service of mush lovers everywhere

See, I've already got someone so bonkers about Midnight Snack, she laughs in fits when she goes to the grocery store with her mom. Now, she's writing a sequel and get this: she turned it into third person and "plum girl"'s name is Amethyst... I love me.....

Her, did she volenteer to write it?

Am

 

Ah her....why, yes she did. She told me she was going to do it and she did....well, sorta. She sent me half and told me to do the smut with HER guidlines... LOL

 

I read Midnight Snack.



(Am I lost, or didn't you right that story DarthAphrodite- or are you talking in 3rd person ? )

 

:eeks meekly in::

Can I join in?

My name is Lady Aislinne and I have a problem.

I AM ADDICTED TO MUSH!!!!

 

A group after my own heart. I love to read and write mush.

I chose Lady Blakeney as my name.

 

Thanks for the advice, Melyanna! I shall make a note of that.

Here's the link to The Hunt If you want to read it.

 

No, no...I did write that, but SHE is writing a sequel to MY own fic....

 

Hey, good mush, all that is

 

I like reading mush but I'm terrible at writing it. I was planning on writing a Jacen/Tenel Ka fic, but I don't think so any more. too mushy

 

Same here

 

hmm, looks like everyone has lost interest

 

I hope not. I am getting close to writing a major mush scene in my fic and I am going to need somebody to read it!

 

Don't worry. I'm still here, just a little too busy to post a lot.

 

random up

 

Ok, I admit it. I love mush.. both reading and writing it. Call me Lady Moira.

 

I'm here! *waves* Welcome Lady Moira!!!

 

Did I miss roll call?
Lady Blakeney checking in.

 

Princess Notty checking in...I've been busy...lotsa new members to the HCEB...seeing as BILLONS of people read the New York Times...

 

Hey, J_S, where's that scene you wanted us to read?

 

I don't write it (so I don't know why I'm even here) but I love Mush to death.

Hannah

 

Um... well... that mush scene got bumped back cuz I went in a sligtly different direction with the story. Who knows if I will ever be able just to get to the mush...

 

I am going to have to write mush for an upcoming scene in Author Wars! Yeah

 

Ooooooh...mush! I LOVE mush. Do I get to be a member of S.M.O.O.C.H? You can call me...Lady Hikari. It means 'light' in Japanese, I think.

Okay, here's my tiny attempt to show my mushiness. This is taken from my story, When Comes the Dawn: a sequel to The Path Less Trodden

(Anakin Solo and Tahiri Veila, in case you're wondering)

**

"Oh, I am so glad that's over." Tahiri slipped out of her Jedi robes and tugged at the sleeve of her blue tunic. "I am so exhausted. And it's hot in here." She collapsed onto her bed, tucking her knees up against her chest. "And those people were so annoying. Typical politicians."

I flopped down on the bed beside her. "Better watch it. My mother?s a politician. Or she was. And you seem to be becoming quite the politician yourself."

Tahiri rolled over and made a face at me. "You sure know how to compliment a girl." She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me deeply. A jolt swept through my body, and I pulled her closer, kissing her back. "I thought you were hot." I whispered, pulling away to look at her.

Her green eyes, inches from my own, danced. In response, she pulled my head back down so she could kiss me again. Hot desire flooded through my body, and I tried to pull her even closer. I felt my mind touch hers in the Force. With everything in me, I wanted her. So badly. I could feel my own desires reciprocated in Tahiri, but after a moment, she pulled away, breathing heavily. "Anakin...we...I..."

"I know." I drew a deep breath. "I know. We agreed." I covered her lips with mine, gently this time. "I won't go back on that. I promise."

Tahiri sighed and tucked herself up against me, closing her eyes. "Thank you." A moment later, she whispered, "I love you, Anakin."

"I love you, too, Tahiri." I lay still, breathing in her sweet scent, as she drifted off to sleep.

**

So is it enough to be a member? I could have posted the wedding scene--it was mushier, but I figured I'd start small.

 

Hmm, I've never been much of an Anakin/Tahiri fan, but this story I may have to read.

Anyway, here goes. My comments are in red.

**

"Oh, I am so glad that's over." Tahiri slipped out of her Jedi robes and tugged at the sleeve of her blue tunic. "I am so exhausted. And it's hot in here." She collapsed onto her bed, tucking her knees up against her chest. "And those people were so annoying. Typical politicians."

I flopped down on the bed beside her. "Better watch it. My mother?s a politician. Or she was. And you seem to be becoming quite the politician yourself."

Tahiri rolled over and made a face at me. "You sure know how to compliment a girl." She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me deeply. A jolt swept through my body, and I pulled her closer, kissing her back. "I thought you were hot." I whispered, pulling away to look at her.

This description is very good, but unless that silly photographic memory fails me, their first kiss in Rebirth was described as a jolt of some kind. Perhaps you could find a different way.

Her green eyes, inches from my own, danced. In response, she pulled my head back down so she could kiss me again. Hot desire flooded through my body, and I tried to pull her even closer. I felt my mind touch hers in the Force. With everything in me, I wanted her. So badly. I could feel my own desires reciprocated in Tahiri, but after a moment, she pulled away, breathing heavily. "Anakin...we...I..."

Okay, as I visualized this, I had a problem. I realize that they're on a bed, and at one point it seems that Tahiri is above Anakin, but then you say that Tahiri pulls his head down. I think you should be a little more clear.

"I felt my mind touch hers in the Force." This sentence is a little awkward. Try dropping the first two words; it will make it more active as opposed to passive.

Also, how about "I could feel my own desires reflected in Tahiri"?

One more incredibly picky thing (because I think you're at the point where you can deal with it) most measurements in GFFA are metric, so use centimeters instead of inches.

"I know." I drew a deep breath. "I know. We agreed." I covered her lips with mine, gently this time. "I won't go back on that. I promise."

Tahiri sighed and tucked herself up against me, closing her eyes. "Thank you." A moment later, she whispered, "I love you, Anakin."

"I love you, too, Tahiri." I lay still, breathing in her sweet scent, as she drifted off to sleep.

**

Well done!

And of course this is enough for you to join! Welcome aboard! I love the name you're chosen.

Princess Nadia

 

Thanks... I tried to be as clear as I could, but *cough* that post was at the beginning of my story, I'm already way over halfway through...

Let me try to see if I can answer some of these...

This description is very good, but unless that silly photographic memory fails me, their first kiss in Rebirth was described as a jolt of some kind. Perhaps you could find a different way.

I guess I figured two and a half years after that, a kiss could still cause a jolt. Okay, okay, so I actually didn't stop to think about that when I wrote it. But I think I'll keep it the same.

Okay, as I visualized this, I had a problem. I realize that they're on a bed, and at one point it seems that Tahiri is above Anakin, but then you say that Tahiri pulls his head down. I think you should be a little more clear.

Ummm...I guess we visualize differently.

"I felt my mind touch hers in the Force." This sentence is a little awkward. Try dropping the first two words; it will make it more active as opposed to passive.

Fixed it in my post. Thanks.

Also, how about "I could feel my own desires reflected in Tahiri"?

On this one I'm gonna be selfish and keep it reciprocated.

One more incredibly picky thing (because I think you're at the point where you can deal with it) most measurements in GFFA are metric, so use centimeters instead of inches.

Thanks for that tip; I'll go back through my stories and see what I can do to fix that.

I do my best, and since I'm already almost done with the 2nd one, I don't really want to change what I already have. I may not be a wonderful fanfic writer, but I do enjoy my stories--I know they're not perfect, and that's okay. And I do have my beta, who catches my little editing mistakes--she wasn't betaing for me when I wrote that part, though.

Hehe, I can see where you got your nickname in high school (it was high school, right?) from, Princess Nadia!

Lady Hikari