Beyond - Legends Sabaac Song and Dance - (Kyp Durron) fic-gift for Chyntuck

Title: Sabaac Song and Dance
Author: brodiew2
Characters: Kyp Durron, Bubba, the Hutt (OC), and R2-D2.
Genre: humor, drama
A/N: This is my fic-gift for @Chyntuck. She requested:

1. I want a story that starts with "A Hutt, a Jedi and a droid walk into a bar in Canto Bight" (or 'walked').
2. I don't want any "serious" romance (humorous/crack romance is okay).
3. I'm happy with any characters.
4. I'm also happy with any era or continuity, except the pre-JA period in Legends.

Sabaac Song and Dance

Bubba, the Hutt, Kyp Durron, and R2-D2 walked, slithered, and rolled into the main lobby of the Canto Bight Casino. The motley trio drew many stares as they entered, but at this level wealth and society, there were no comments and thankfully, no prejudices barring one of them entry. Unfortunately, a rather too finely coiffed Bothan in magenta sherwani attire approached them.

“Good afternoon, my Jedi friends,” he began, hanging too long on the syllables for 'noon' and 'friends', making Kyp cringe at the affectation. “How can I be of service?”

“We're trying to locate Luke Skywalker,” Bubba blurted, coming to the point sooner than Kyp would have liked.

The Bothan bowed, ridiculously low and continued in his syrupy tone: “The Jedi Grandmaster was exiled from the core many months ago. You will not find him here.”

Kyp huffed, shaking his head, incredulously. “We are all weathering the storm and we'll find our own seats. Thanks.”

Artoo tweetled furiously ended with an indignantly deep honk.

“My thoughts, exactly, Artoo,” commented the Hutt Jedi. “But what do you expect in such a place. Everyone expects to be treated like royalty. Therefore, you have hosts so sickly sweet, it makes one's teeth ache.”

“Fine metaphor, Bubba,” Kyp added, scanning the main lounge. Every type of gambling one could image was happening right here, whether in public or in private. “Luke said he was going to meet his here. I guess he'll find us when he's ready.”

“The Grandmaster is rather fond of games,” Bubba growled. “Thinks he's so clever.”

Artoo couldn't let that pass without responding. His series of tootles, tweets, and zonks told the tale.

Kyp let out a short laugh. “Yes, I guess he is entitled to think he's clever when it is so obvious that he is. Hard to to argue with one of his oldest and best friends.

Bubba smirked at that, but remained silent.

The two Jedi had previously agreed to keep their Force senses in check, given the fact this place was no less a hive of scum and villainy than Mos Eisely space port, as Luke was like to say. The beings were just richer. And, being rich sometimes made people just as desperate as being poor. They just dressed better and drove more astral spacecraft. Kyp and Bubba just didn't want to to taste the desperation. That was all. Oh yes, and Luke had told them not to be 'looking' for him. Like they would find him if they were.

As they approached a Sabaac table, Kyp produced his credit chit and took a seat. Bubba sidled up next to him and Artoo rested nearby.

“What's the game?” Bubba inquired if the dealer, a green skinned Twi'lek dressed in the standard black and white of most professional dealers. “Empress Teta Preffered, Bespin Standard, or Corellian Gambit?”

The dealer all but sneered at Bubba, her distaste for him or for Hutt's obvious in her sharp features. He didn't need the Force to know he was not welcome at her table.

“Canto Bight Casino can provide whatever variation is desired. However this table has been dealing Random Sabaac for most of the day,” she said through a grimace.


“Is there a problem,” Kyp asked, genially. I just want to play cards.”

“For Jedi, there is always Force Sabaac,” she added. “But it is a rather trite example of the game.”

Kyp didn't like her attitude and hated to think that every female Twi'lek in the galaxy hated Hutt's. He was not one to mince words so he just shot straight.

“Do you have a problem with Hutts?” he asked, pinning the dealer with a nonchalantly with his eyes. “Or Jedi? Perhaps, droids, or even old droids? Does my friend R2-D2, over here, offend you?”

The green of her skin and the red of her embarrassment made for an odd, sickly countenance on the dealer. She froze, not sure what to say or how to proceed. “I-I-”

“Have friends who are Hutts?” Bubba interjected with rising annoyance. “Have a few old droids you hang with in your spare time.”

Kyp touched Bubba's arm, lightly signaling him to settle down.

“We just wanted to play cards,” Kyp said, flashing his dashing smile. “Random is fine. Is that going to be okay with you?”

“Do you have to be so hard on the young lady?” said an elderly human man from the other side of the table. “You are positively dashing my glow. I'm here to wine and dine my young lady friend and you are sucking the joy right out of it. That's not what I expect from a Jedi.”

Kyp eyed the man, but the brightness of the lights overhead obscured his features. From what he could tell the man was dressed in formal Corellian garb. “My apologies, Sir, but rudeness should not be tolerated by any being even if it causes a bit of discomfort.”

The old man chuckled and slapped the edge of the table lightly. “Nice words, Jedi, and very diplomatic. You must be a fine example of your Order and for your banished Boss Man.”

Though Kyp did not always agree with the Grandmaster, he was not about to let that comment go.

“It appears rudeness knows no bounds here in Canto Bight,” Kyp replied, his cordiality slipping. “Perhaps we should cut the chatter and play cards. I'll even sweeten the pot. The loser goes home.”

Bubba could see his Master's edge emerging and touched the edge of his tunic to signal him to breathe and let go of his anger. Every now and again an apprentice had something to teach his master.

“That is a fine idea,” croaked the old man. “But are you willing to bet the old droid. R2-D2, did you say?”

“Sorry, Sir,” Kyp replied. “The droid is not on the table. He belongs to Grandmaster Skywalker.”

“All the more reason to sweeten the pot with it,” the older man said. “If I win I will personally see to it that R2-D2 is return to his friend.”

“And how will you do that?” Kyp replied, warily. “The Grandmaster is ‘in the wind’ so to speak.”

“If my information is correct,” the Correllian answered. “Your Boss is supposed to be in this very casino tonight.”

Artoo spoke up, deriding the older gentleman’s information even if the man could not understand him.

“I’m getting bored,” Kyp replied with a fake yawn, turning to his apprentice. “Are you bored, Bubba?”

“A nap sounds good about now,” the Hutt replied. “But the mission, Master. The mission.”

“No, Bubba, I think it’s time we left,” Kyp declared, glaring at the Correllian. “Come on, Artoo. Time to go.”

Artoo tweeted in protest, wanting to see more of the casino and find Luke.

As soon as they were out on the promenade, Kyp said to Artoo: “Luke said he would find us. Let’s let him do that.”

No sooner had the words been spoken than a young Casino page unceremoniously shoved a flimsy into his hand. It read: “Docking Bay 49. You should have taken the bet, Blockhead. ”

Kyp looked up and advised R2-D2 and Bubba, The Hutt, that the Grandmaster had found them.

 

LOL Quite full of atmosphere. A very intriguing duo of Jedi. Bubba the Hutt?

 

Excerpt from the credits of the video: .....Larry the Cable Guy as the voice of Bubba the Hutt.

 

Squee! Thanks so much for this brodie, it made my day! Funnily enough, a few days ago while working on the fic index I re-read the ficlet in which you'd introduced Bubba, and I was wondering if we'd ever see him again. And now he's back and apprenticed to Kyp Durron, no less

I loved your description of the Canto Bight casino, the Bothan maitre d' who is "rather too finely coiffed", his speech too pompous and fake-sounding, the Twi'lek who is trying to be politely rude, and yet the whole thing is, obviously, just a different sort of "hive of scum and villainy". And this:

... is just so much the vibe I got from TLJ about Canto Bight. I mean, Finn is wearing his stitched-up jacket and Rose her coveralls, yet everyone pretends it's perfectly normal because that's what you do in this sort of place.

Another aspect I loved is how Kyp, Bubba and Artoo are such an unlikely trio, yet they seem to be getting along very well Artoo's little interjections of beeps and tweets in particular are so Artoo-ish, and we never need a literal translation to know what he said.

Fantastic little slice of real life here, and the idea of "hanging out with old droids" made me laugh out loud!

And, well, Luke I got the impression (and I'd be curious to know if that was your intention) that you combined his personalities from Legends and Canon here. On the one hand, there's the good-natured humour of the Luke we know from Legends and the way this helps him handle his sometimes strained relationship with Kyp; on the other hand, the image of a somewhat grumpy old man with a croaky voice who hides his features in a cowl and doesn't miss an opportunity to distribute a few jibes at the Jedi feels very TLJ-Luke. I had such a good laugh at the end with the message and the last sentence. Kyp just got pwned

Thanks so much for a wonderful fic-gift! I hope 2018 brings you everything you wish for and more.

 

To read a story from you is always "a must do" for me. Especially, when it is a short and crispy one like this.

The trio you have come up with is destined to be better than "Pigs in space" and other famous comedians.

Your Bubba character made me think of somebody who was important in the "The Southern Vampires Mysteries" book series by Charlaine Harris, but completely cut out of the HBO series "True Blood". To some folk, especially some Irish people into whose houses I was invited 20 years ago, that persona was so holy that his portrait hung next to JFK and Pope John Paul II.

For this reason, your cleverly invented Jedi Hutt will always have an Elvis Pompadour on his head. Tsk!



Wonderful gift you made there! I laughed my head off!

Just one paragraph made me very thoughtful and I wish that people who rant so much about Episode 8 will be able to realise that:

The two Jedi had previously agreed to keep their Force senses in check, given the fact this place was no less a hive of scum and villainy than Mos Eisely space port, as Luke was like to say. The beings were just richer. And, being rich sometimes made people just as desperate as being poor. They just dressed better and drove more astral spacecraft. Kyp and Bubba just didn't want to to taste the desperation. That was all.

The only difference between the scum of Mos Eisely and Canto Bright is indeed their clothing. Nothing else.

It remind me very much of a song by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, which John Barrowman sang so brilliantly:

"Sure I came out here to make my name
Wanted my pool, my dose of fame
Wanted my parking space at Warner's
But after a year, a one room hell
A Murphy bed, a rancid smell
Wallpaper peeling at the corners
Sunset Boulevard, twisting boulevard
Secretive and rich, a little scary
Sunset Boulevard, tempting boulevard
Waiting there to swallow the unwary
Dreams are not enough to win a war
Out here they're always keeping score
Beneath the tan the battle rages
Smile a rented smile, fill someone's glass
Kiss someone's wife, kiss someone's ass
We do whatever pays the wages
Sunset Boulevard, headline boulevard
Getting here is only the beginning
Sunset Boulevard, jackpot boulevard
Once you've won you have to go on winning You think I've sold out?
Dead right I've sold out!
I just keep waiting for the right offer
Comfortable quarters, regular rations
24 hour Five Star room service
And if I'm honest, I like the lady
I can't help being touched by her folly
I'm treading water, taking the money
Watching her sun set, well, I'm a writer!
L.A.'s changed a lot over the years
Since those brave gold rush pioneers
Came in their creaky covered wagons
Far as they could go end of the line
Their dreams were yours, their dreams were mine
But in those dreams were hidden dragons
Sunset Boulevard, frenzied boulevard
Swamped with every kind of false emotion
Sunset Boulevard, brutal boulevard
Just like you, we'll wind up in the ocean
She was sinking fast, I threw a rope
Now I have suits and she has hope
It seemed an elegant solution
One day this must end, it isn't real
Still I'll enjoy a hearty meal
Before tomorrow's execution
Sunset Boulevard, ruthless boulevard
Destination for the stony-hearted
Sunset Boulevard, lethal boulevard
Everyone's forgotten how they started
Here on Sunset Boulevard!"

I underlined all the lines that I was thinking off while watching the movie a 2nd time in English in the Netherlands with DarthUncle, our three English nephews & their mom, my Dutch sister-in-law. (The 1st time was in German here in Berlin, because I adore the German voice actor of Luke Skywalker a lot. Hum, actually I adore his two grand-sons even more. In private I am allowed to spoil kindergarten kids more than at work, where I have to be 200% professional.)

Anyway, thanks for the good laugh and making this clasp of various SW realities work.

 

This was so much fun! I agree with the others, Bubba the Hutt is great! I love how you incorporated all of them walking into the bar part of the request, it really set up the whole story.

And that ending was perfect! Luke did exactly as he said, they just weren't really looking in the right way. I loved it!

Great story, Brodie!

 

Fun to see a Hutt Jedi teaming up with Kyp. A great story searching for Luke and Luke finding them.

 

The Grandmaster is fond of games, indeed. And the game was on them.

This is such a wonderful meshing of the Canto Bight scene in TLJ with the Legends ideas. You have Luke as the Grandmaster, not the missing Jedi from TFA. You've got Kyp Durron and the existing NJO, This is really nicely done.

Awesome. So great that it was Kyp of all people who was on the receiving end of this. You blockhead!

 

This mash-up got my head spinning, but eventually, I figured it out. Not that the comments the others left before me didn't help.

From what I'm familiar with, Kyp Durron would be a perfect foil to just about anybody in Canto Bight's casinos and R2-D2's spunk and resourcefulness and Bubba's overall presence made it even more fun.