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Before - Legends Secret (OC's) -- One-Shot

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Ceillean, Jan 15, 2009.

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  1. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2001
    Title: Secret
    Characters: OC's
    Timeline: n/a
    Notes: I've never posted in Before the Saga. This is something I've never written before either but that's how it goes with Plotbunnies. ;) Even though these are only OC's, I hope you'll enjoy. Thanks! [face_peace]






    I burn inside. My skin is aflame from the hurt I carry in my heart. The need to do something about this never-ending pain is so great that I am paralyzed, confused as to what I can do to end all this.

    I am torn.

    I am alone.

    I am held within the tender blanket of a beautiful secret. It holds me close and keeps me warm and yet coldness seeps through the seams and into my very bones. I shiver and I close my eyes, wishing the darkness would grasp me and put an end to my misery.

    For I fear there is no other way for the agony to pass?

    There was a time when I enjoyed my life. I laughed, I cried, I yelled in anger and leapt for joy.

    I am the daughter of an average farmer. I am nothing special.

    I am just me. I am not tall and I am not of slender built. I am not beautiful, not in the grand sense, as some perceive.

    I am smart.

    I am foolish.

    The secret begins many moons ago. I hear a pained groan from our shed, where my father keeps his machines for the farm. It is so small; I have to kneel to open the door. Moonlight pools around my feet as I step aside and peer into the shed. I am expecting an animal but what I see astounds me.

    It is a human man and he is badly wounded. I see blood on his face, on his arms and hands. In the near complete darkness, I see his fingers are burned; his nails are a dirty russet color. A few nails are missing.

    His lip is split. Drops of blood run down his chin. His eyes are swollen, his face bruised beyond recognition.

    His hair is matted with his own blood and dirt. He is shaking. I feel his fear and I feel his pain.

    ?Dear Gods.? I whisper as I inch closer. He shies away from me, afraid for his life. My heart reaches out to this poor thing. Who could ever do something like this? It is beyond me.

    ?I wish to help you.? I whisper softly and I smile. ?Please. You will die if you do not let me tend your wounds.?

    He says nothing. I do not know if he is able to speak. His breathing is labored, his hands shake uncontrollably. I drop to my knees and I reach for him. The cold around me bites into my skin, the hard dirt underneath my knees scratches but I ignore it.

    He is the important one and he needs my help.

    ?Please. I cannot bear the thought of you dying. Let me help you.?

    He is young. Perhaps a little older than I and it hurts me to see him this way. ?I will not hurt you. You are safe.?

    There is a slight moan and then a gasp. I realize that he is sobbing, crying because of the pain. And I feel that he is not accustomed to kindness and he cries because he feels he can trust me.

    I reach out my hand and after a very long while, he finally grasps it. I help him out of the shed and he leans into me, while I help him to the house.

    To his haven.

    To safety.

    To the beginning of a secret.




    It takes a full moon cycle for him to recover. I bathe him, I feed him and I talk to him. My father is not happy that I have brought a stranger into the house but I do not care. It feels right.

    I watch the stranger sleep. I wish that he would open his eyes and tell me his name. But he is forever quiet.

    He wakes up from nightmares. He shakes and quivers, he is afraid. His eyes are wide with fright when he wakes up. I never leave his side while he lies in my bed. I tend to him as best I can because?

    ?it feels right.




    I read from old children?s books to soothe him. I realize that he relaxes when he hears my voice. It thrills me that I can help him with such simplicity.

    It is the story of a lost young boy trying to find his family that seems to rattle him from his stupor. He turns his head and his blue eyes are?old.
    ?Stop.? He breathes and I am startled for he has so far not spoken to me.

    I lay the tattered book aside and kneel by the bed. ?You are awake.?

    ?Do not read that story to me again.? He says harshly, his ja>
     
  2. Ubersue

    Ubersue Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 1, 2008
    :_|:_|:_|

    Great job, Ceillean! Oh, the poor girl...

    I like poetic and heavy tone of the OC's voice; it suits the fact that she's young and inexperienced and saddled with such an overwhelming and life-changing experience. I love the fact that Ianus has put her in a terrible position but she doesn't resent him in the slightest; the thought doesn't occur to her that he was reckless for sleeping with her. She instead seems to just view it as a tragic turn of fate. Her low self-esteem is heartbreaking, and very realistic. Nicely done!
     
  3. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2001

     
  4. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Lovely written story=D==D=
     
  5. Jinngerbread

    Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2007
    Awwwwww that was so heartbreaking :( :_|

    Wonderfully written, the way it flowed was very smooth. You should play in Before more often! :)

    Nice job!
     
  6. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    "only OC's" ???? Are you kidding?? This is gorgeous!! So short and yet both characters leap off the page (er, screen .. whatever).

    Lovely, heartfelt story.
     
  7. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    Poor girl. :( This was so beautifully written, and the characters really come to life. Fantastic work!
     
  8. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2001






     
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