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Seven Reasons Not To Mess With Children

Discussion in 'FanForce Community' started by Ceillean, Aug 19, 2009.

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  1. Ceillean

    Ceillean Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Nov 13, 2001
    OMG, I LOL'ed. Funny, I tell you. :p

    7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

    1: A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

    The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.'

    The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

    The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him.'


    2: A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

    The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

    The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'


    3: A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

    After explaining the Commandment to 'Honor thy Father and thy Mother,' she asked, 'Is there a Commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'

    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'


    4: One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

    Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'


    5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

    "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'


    6: A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

    'Yes,' the class said.

    'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

    A little fellow shouted,

    'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


    7: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

    'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

    A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'>
  2. _Halfway2Anywhere_

    _Halfway2Anywhere_ Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jul 30, 2009
    1, 5, and 6 are the kind of things I would yell out "Ohhhhhhhhh, burn!" if I had been there. [face_laugh]
  3. Skiara

    Skiara ~• RSA FFC •~ star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Nov 5, 2002
    Someone told me that children are very frank. ;)
  4. Darth Gangrenous

    Darth Gangrenous Chosen One star 10

    Jun 1, 2005
    Leave my name out of this, Sabine. :p
  5. ILuvJarJar

    ILuvJarJar Jedi Master star 6

    Oct 19, 2008
    [face_laugh] 1,4,5 and 6 were the best!
  6. Qui-Gon_Reborn

    Qui-Gon_Reborn Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Dec 11, 2008
    Oh geez, that was hilarious. [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
  7. KithuraVess

    KithuraVess Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 19, 2008
    Oh my word, 1, 3 and 5 were the best! [face_laugh]
  8. PatttyB0123

    PatttyB0123 Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Apr 2, 2003
    Number 4. :p
  9. _Spartan-117_

    _Spartan-117_ Jedi Master star 4

    Aug 5, 2008
    LOL i cant decide!
  10. dport41

    dport41 Jedi Youngling

    Oct 7, 2009
    Number one, lol.

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  11. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    Out of the mouths of babes...


    Almost makes one question why we teach them to talk in the first place :p
  12. JarJarJedi

    JarJarJedi Jedi Master star 6

    Feb 6, 2001
    Kids say the darndest things... [face_laugh]
  13. KellyLCrutcher

    KellyLCrutcher Jedi Master star 2

    Feb 28, 2009
    I just read this and cracked up. This is great! I think number one's the funniest, IMHO.

  14. Adalia-Durron

    Adalia-Durron WNU Mod - Aussie Queen star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 3, 2003
    As a mother I can say I have even heard similar things!

    My son standing in front of my massive cabinets crammed full of 30 odd years of Star Wars collectibles,

    "So which one of these do I get when you're dead?" Lovely. o_O

    But have to say the best reason not to mess with day they will have to care for you, and you don't want to end up in that dodgy nursing home where they feed the oldies dog food and dont change their beds!!!
  15. Adalia-Durron

    Adalia-Durron WNU Mod - Aussie Queen star 10 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 3, 2003
  16. Gamer_4_life

    Gamer_4_life Jedi Youngling star 1

    Nov 16, 2009
    1, 3 and 5 is very funny. I love it.
  17. Charn

    Charn Jedi Master star 8

    Dec 23, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    those were great especially 1, 3 and 7,

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