main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - OT Shadow of a Doubt (Kanan/Hera)/ One-Hit Wonder Challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Raissa Baiard, Mar 6, 2018.

  1. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard FFoF Artist Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Thank you to @Findswoman for beta-reading :riose:

    Chapter 4

    This mission had not gone the way that Hera had expected

    She hadn’t expected the reason Moff Ramier was meeting with Adila so frequently was that they were lovers. She hadn’t expected this sleepy little park would be patrolled by stormtroopers. And she definitely hadn’t expected that Kanan Jarrus would kiss her.

    When she’d heard the familiar clomping of plasteel boots heading up the path, Hera had stashed their binoculars as quickly as she could, her brain churning to come up with a plausible reason for being there—Were they gardeners working late? Biologists studying nightwings? Lost tourists? She turned to Kanan…

    And suddenly his arms were around her, pulling her towards him. A jolt of surprise shot through her, but before she could even frame the word “what”, his lips were against hers, hesitantly at first, as if he were as surprised he was doing this as she was, but with increasing ardor as he drew her closer, one hand sliding upwards to the base of her neck, the other down to the small of her back, leaning her back among the the flower beds. Hera’s surprise melted into acceptance and more than just acceptance; she returned the kiss as eagerly as it was given, her arms twining around Kanan’s neck, pulling him against her. Time slowed, each moment measured in heartbeats, and the world was the warmth of Kanan’s arms around her, the brush of his beard against her chin, the scent of him...

    The stormtrooper seemed a very small and faraway concern, at least until the vocoder-processed voice intruded into the enchantment of the moment, “I said what are you… Oh, I see.” Disgust dripped from the trooper’s voice as he regarded them; good Imperials had small use for alien lovers, particularly when the phrase was literal. “This is a public park, not some kind of….” He broke off with an inarticulate sound of distaste and a curt wave of his gauntleted hand. “Go find yourselves a room. And...er, take your droid with you.”

    “Yes, sir,” Hera didn’t have to pretend she was breathless and flustered as Kanan let go of her and she struggled to sit up. “So sorry, sir!” Kanan offered her a hand to help her stand, but didn’t meet her eyes. There were red blotches high on his cheeks and he had the sheepish expression of a youngling caught not just with his hand in the cookie jar but with the jar broken at his feet and crumbs all over his face. He strode briskly out of the park, not looking at the trooper, not looking at Hera, hardly pausing to see if she followed.

    “Kanan, wait!”

    He stopped just outside the park’s gates, shoulders hunched and head down, and his boots seemed to be the most interesting thing in the Galaxy at that moment. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have… I…” The normally self-possessed Jedi stammered and stumbled like a droid with a failing vocabulator. “But it was the only thing I could think of.” Kanan’s eyes widened as it hit him what he had said, and he looked like he would gladly pull his own blaster and stun himself with it, if only it would get him out of this conversation. “I mean, the only way to explain what we were doing in the park. I…”

    “Is that all it was, then?” Hera’s heart lurched. She’d thought maybe, just maybe, everything he’d said about love, about finding the one who could make it more than just another entanglement meant there was a chink in walls he’d put around his heart. That maybe there was hope… that he could be that one for her and she could be that one for him. “Just an act for the trooper?”

    Kanan looked away. “Jedi… can’t…”

    Hera’s fragile hope crumbled, crushed like the queen’s heart flowers beneath the stormtrooper’s boots. “Of course not. I’m sorry, too. I should have known.” Heartache bled into her words, and now it was her turn to look away. She pushed past him before he could see… No, those were not tears in her eyes. She would not cry over him.

    “Hera…”

    “No, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just get back to the Ghost.” Hera kept marching at a pace any parade-ground Imperial would have envied. She would not turn around. She would not let him see that she’d believed his act, that she’d believed him. She would never let Kanan Jarrus know that her heart was at his feet. They were colleagues, associates. Nothing more. She’d been a fool to think otherwise.

    ——

    Chopper watched Hera storm back to the ship, Kanan trailing in her wake, and sighed in frustration. Organics. He’d never understand the illogical creatures as long as he functioned, and Kanan Jarrus had to be one of the worst for sheer nerf-headed irrationality. Oh, he talked a good game about detachment and not being led by his emotions, but anyone with optical receptors could see detachment was the last thing on his mind when he looked at Hera—and had been ever since he’d set foot on the Ghost.

    And Hera...Chopper generally felt she had better judgment than your average organic (she’d had the perspicacity to rescue him, after all), but when it came to Kanan, she’d developed the unfortunate organic habits of ignoring the obvious and pretending that as long as you didn’t say anything, no one could possibly tell how you felt. The two of them had been tiptoeing around the bantha in the room for almost a year now, and it was, in Chopper’s opinion, high time they got on with it and told each other they loved one another already. What in the name of Industrial Automaton were they waiting for? An engraved invitation?

    When Kanan had finally—finally!—fumbled and faltered his way towards a confession, Chopper had to keep himself from cheering that it was about karking time! He’d been ready to zap the interfering stormtrooper, but then Kanan had gone and done something truly and wildly illogical: he’d kissed Hera... not just kissed her, but kissed her until she was breathless. Typical meatbag timing on that… While Chopper approved of the kiss itself, he had to wonder why organics seemed incapable of taking decisive action unless they were neck-deep in bantha poodoo.

    But after they’d gotten away from the trooper, Kanan went back to his old ways—Jedi don’t! Jedi can’t! I’m a Jedi so I don’t. Can’t. Never mind what I said and what I did. Jedi! Don’t! Do! Such! Things! Seeing the way Hera closed down at his words, it had taken all Chopper’s willpower not to break out his electroshock attachment and turn it up to eleven on Master Kanan Jarrus‘s shebs. Why couldn’t he just admit that he could and did have feelings for her? That the kiss had been more than just for show? Somehow, for Hera’s sake, Chopper was going to make him do just that.

    Clearly, this called for drastic measures.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2018
    Kahara, Gamiel, AzureAngel2 and 4 others like this.
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Oh, @Raissa Baiard -- not since the amazingly wonderful DDCs on Artoo's Frazzled Circuits has ANYONE gotten a droid's voice so pitch perfect! [face_laugh]

    Oh, you've given me the frustrated but I love you OTP feels for Kanera that I had with L/M until they got the clue already! =D= [:D]

    OW!!!!! I too was riding high on a tide of hope with Hera until Kanan got all "rules and regs" on her. :rolleyes:

    Drastic measures, indeed!

    :p
     
  3. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 11, 2005
    Okay. *takes calming breath* I know some people in the Outer Rim underworld that can fix this. They can make it explicitly clear that denial is most definitely not a river on a word in a galaxy far, far away.
    Well written, Raissa. It is sometimes hard to image the characters on screen weeping or breaking down emotionally.

    “No, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just get back to the Ghost.” Hera kept marching at a pace any parade-ground Imperial would have envied.

    Okay. *takes calming breath* I know some people in Imperial assertiveness training that can fix this. They can make it abundantly clear that passive aggressiveness is most definitely not preferable to outright aggressiveness.
    See above. :p ;) :D [face_hypnotized]
    Love it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2018
  4. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Now you have me waiting for those drastic measures and I refrain from a bowl of popcorn in my lap... this would not be overly nice.
     
  5. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Ooh, what a squeeful treat at the beginning of this chapter, to be able to relive The Kiss, this time from Hera’s viewpoint! We get to experience her full trajectory of emotions, her complete astonishment and surprise that morphs into acceptance and more. [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] You really do an amazing job with that progression, and it really brings the romance of the moment to life in a way the cliffhanger ending of the last chapter couldn't. But—it of course makes also Kanan's Jedi-shall-not backtracking hit all the harder. I could easily gush on and on about what a Kute!Klueless!Kanan he is here if it all weren't such a huge disappointment to Hera. Here too her emotional trajectory is gorgeously written:

    ...aw man, I really feel for her here. :( What high hopes she had in that tender moment, and now they seem to be totally dashed, and he walks off without even looking at her—was it all just an act after all? I love the image of the crushed flowers here, especially since she herself was compared to one of them in the previous chapter. I love too that denial continues, but in a completely changed form: no, she is not crying for him, they are just colleagues, and she is not going to let him know that her heart is at his feet, thank you very much. ( =((! :_| !)

    And good old Chop—I love his snarky takes on his two organic companions, "meatbags" and all (and yes, I think there's something to the fanon about the origin of his droid brain proposed in that one cartoon you showed me... cough HK cough :D ). Yes, that Master K. I. Jarrus sure is a consummate specimen of nerf-headedness, and yes, he is one of the few beings out there who can make the usually levelheaded Hera completely oblivious to the 800-kilo bantha in the room. I love the prospect of our clever little bwopper acting as the catalyst for getting these irrational organics to finally stop beating around the beebleberry bush about their feelings—and I can't wait to see what he has up those mismatched sleeves struts of his! :chopper: :D
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2019
  6. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The (FavoriteTM) Fanfic Mod With the Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Oh, but this is such a lovely story! Honestly, this was on my 'to read' list way back in the day, before it slipped off my radar, so I'm thrilled that WIPuary inspired you to resurrect it - it let me read a gem, as well! I'm now all too happy to catch up just in time for any new updates, and wish your muse all the best in finally finishing this! [:D]

    So! To start back at the beginning . . . :D

    Bwahaa!!! [face_laugh] Yep, Chopper certainly knows what's what, even if his organic counterparts are stubbornly wading through the good ol' river Nile together. Let's just hope that they finally cross to the other side soon! If Kanan's reaction to Hera meeting her father's old friend - and their contact :p - is any indicator, they are close to coming up on shore. Or they will be, if Chopper has anything to say about it! :D [face_mischief]

    In the next scene, Hera's grappling with her feelings was just as great to read as Kanan's! They're both endearingly devoted to the greater good and each other, even if not as deeply as they would like - unconsciously or not, and it's understandable that they'd both hesitate before taking their very comfortable relationship any further! But they'll get there. [face_love]

    Oh ouch, ouch, ouch! First off, I loved your descriptors for Hera! Frowning like the Ghost's navicomputer had developed another quirk was a wonderful turn of phrase - and just one of many!

    Then, what a face palm moment for Kanan - my heart hurt for both of these hopeless dorks. It's understandable that he should fall back on the safe and trusty 'a Jedi shall not' dogma when it was once everything he'd known and thought he'd dedicate his life to. But I appreciated Hera challenging what he thinks versus what the Jedi think - and her fitting his ideals of a woman who'd be a relationship that's a source of peace and strength rather than a precipice to the Dark, all without him even realizing it! There's safety in that way of thinking, but so much to gain if he'd risk for more! Excellent characterization of his struggles - and hers! =D=

    [face_laugh] [face_whistling]

    First off, you did such a great job of setting up this entire scene! With the park and the flowers and the moonlight! It really felt more like a date than a mission. :p

    Then, oh boy, but I had a good chuckle for the moff's over the top romance and the GFFA-ified lyrics! All those details were so creative and fun and made your story all the richer!

    But the taker here really was poor Kanan and his reaction to their spying. Of course he should think about his own lady love in an I need to look away but can't kind of manner, and really, it gave him all sorts of inspiration for when that pesky - or Force-send, from a certain POV [face_mischief] - stormtrooper finally arrived!

    Whew! That kiss, THAT KISS. [face_love] 'nuff said. :p

    Oh ow, ow, ow - again! Hera! Kanan!! The image of the crushed flowers was so poignant - especially after Kanan compared her to the flowers just previously - and hurt my heart to read. Hera is always so, so strong for everyone else, and for her to allow herself this moment of vulnerability and apparently - though we know better as readers - have her heart handed back to her just made me ache in sympathy. =((

    Ha!!! [face_rofl]

    Oh you go, Chopper!! Others have said it, but I'll say it again: I love your voice for this sassy little astromech, and I can't wait to see how he goes about setting the two meatbags in his life to rights. :p[face_dancing] [face_mischief]


    This is such a wonderful story so far, and I wish you all the best on persevering to finish it! =D= [:D]
     
    Raissa Baiard and Findswoman like this.
  7. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    I finally managed to catch up with this fic, and boy am I glad I did. :) First of all...Chopper. He's sassy and sarcastic, smart and intuitive. You've managed to make my favorite little droid come across our screens as very human in a way I could never do. Fantastic!=D=

    Really enjoying the relationship between Kanan and Hera. His hesitance to step even a small distance away from the teachings he's held so close is understandable. The Jedi way is all he knows. That being said, I loved that he just threw caution to the wind and kissed her. [face_love] Can't wait to see where their journey takes them.

    Wonderful work!=D=
     
    Raissa Baiard and Findswoman like this.
  8. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard FFoF Artist Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Thanks! Chopper is such a character; he’s such a curmudgeon, but underneath it all, he really loves Hera and he’ll do whatever it takes to see her happy. And the Force help Kanan (and Hera, too) because Chop is serious about those drastic measures. It’s funny, really, how rule-bound Kanan can be at times when he winds up breaking so many of the Big Jedi Rules. It couldn’t have been easy for him to get to that point.


    :D I’d like to be there for that conversation! Because Kanan isn’t just in denial, he’s in denial that he’s in denial. He’s a Jedi, therefore he can’t feel these things. Can’t. Doesn’t. Whatever. Because Jedi.

    Thank you. Hera’s doing her best at this moment not to break down and cry, but I have no doubt that once she was back in her cabin, the tears came whether she wanted them to or not.

    :D Again, would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. Hera would deny that she has aggression, passive or otherwise. Maybe these two could use some couple’s counseling :p
    Ah, but the difference between Chopper and his organic counterparts is that he’s perfectly okay with his aggressive feelings and definitely not passive about them. You better believe he’s got a plan to get these meatbags together!
    Well, the popcorn is probably stale by now, so let me pop you another batch, because Chopper’s drastic measures are finally coming up.
    Thank you! Not at all what Hera was expecting at that moment! Kanan, with Moff Ramier and Adila’s inspiration fresh in his mind, is not doing things by half-measures, and even if it started out as an act for the stormtrooper, it quickly turns into something more for both of them. All those feelings they’ve been deny manifest themselves; it’s a little disconcerting for both of them. Klueless!Kanan is kind of cute; he’s so oblivious on some levels and so much in denial on others as a consequence of his upbringing and the non-attachment rule. It’s small wonder he retreats to the safety of Jedi doctrine in the face of all these overwhelming emotions, but for Hera—oh, man. It’s not a wonder that she’s heartbroken at what seems to be his rejection.

    Oh yeah, it was hard to put her through this. Hera is so strong and self-reliant, and she’s just begun to realize that a relationship with Kanan wouldn’t detract from her resolve to fight the Empire, that it would actually be a source of strength, and she sees that chink in Kanan’s armor and the kiss and then it all crashes around her. Well, fine, if he doesn’t want her, she can do perfectly well on her own.

    Heh heh heh (or maybe Bwahahaha ;) ) He and HK would certainly get along well, wouldn’t they?(if there wasn’t several thousand years of Galactic history separating them) :p Chopper has a better idea of what’s what than either of his organic counterparts and he’s not above taking matters into his own graspers if that’s what it takes. Hera will be happy, even if he has to annoy the living snot out her and Kanan to do it!
    Thank you so much! My moose muse has finally gotten its backside in gear, thanks to WIPuary!

    Yep, Chopper’s got them all figured out, even if they haven’t figured themselves out! And Kanan is totally not jealous, because Jedi don’t get jealous and he is a Jedi so clearly he can’t be.

    They really are wholeheartedly committed to fighting the Empire, and it’s a struggle for them both to reconcile that duty with their growing feelings for each other (and it continues to be, to one degree or another, throughout Rebels). They haven’t reached the point where they realize that it doesn’t have to be an either/or proposition. Part of the reason they love each other is because of that very dedication.

    Thank you! In a way, Hera’s just discovered a quirk (probably the biggest one!) in Kanan’s “operating system” :p Unfortunately, she can’t run a tuneup on him! Kanan was such an inquisitive, out-of-the-box thinker as a padawan, and Master Bilaba always encouraged that side of him. So Hera’s gentle questions are exactly what he needs to challenge his assumptions. He’s almost ready to admit the truth—almost.

    I have to say, this was really a fun scene to write; the Moff and Adila are like the cheesiest romance novel come to life and poor Kanan, in his lack of experience, has an almost adolescent horrified fascination while watching it—part “ewww, kissing”, mixed with “I shouldn’t be looking” and a hefty dose of “but this would be interesting to try with Hera”. :D And then that stormtrooper comes along, and what else is he supposed to do? [face_laugh]

    Aww, thanks :) Sometimes writing kisses is still a challenge for me, somI’m glad this one came off well.

    I loved the name “queen’s heart flower” when I found it in the Wook, and thought it was perfect for Hera, who takes her name from the queen of the godsend as general/captain/mother figure is sort of the queen of this little crew. She feels Kanan has crushed her heart as carelessly and thoughtlessly as the stormtrooper trod on the flowers, although we readers know it’s almost as painful for him.

    :chopper: He is a droid with a plan and I hope you’ll enjoy it now that it’s finally complete!
    Thanks! Chopper is a lot of fun—so snarky and sure he knows what’s best, better than these two silly organics ever could. He’s definitely my favorite droid, too. He’s got so much attitude, but as we see especially in the later seasons of Rebels, he cares deeply about these irrational beings and go out of his way to protect them.

    I think it’s harder for Kanan to set those teachings aside than it was for Anakin, who had experienced love and attachment with his mother and knew that it could be a positive thing, whatever the Jedi dictated. As you said, the Jedi way is all Kanan known from infancy, and when he finds that sort of love and belonging with Master Bilaba and her clone troops, she cautions him against getting too attached. But on the other hand, Kanan always had that questioning, free-thinking streak (a lot like Ezra!) and it finally breaks fee in that moment :* He immediately retreats to the safety of doctrine, but fortunately Chopper is on board to poke, prod (and electroshock if need be) these two in the right direction!
     
  9. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard FFoF Artist Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    It’s here at last! Many, many thanks to @Findswoman for her constant encouragement and insightful beta-reading, and for hosting the WIPuary challenge which turned out be the kick in the posterior my stubborn, flaky moose muse needed to finish this story! @};- [:D]
    ———-
    Chapter 5

    The Ghost left Barcana early the next morning. Other than a perfunctory “pass the caf”, Hera hardly spoke to Kanan at breakfast, not even to tell him where they were headed next. She disappeared into the cockpit as soon as she’d gulped down her caf and a ration bar and hadn’t come out since then.

    He couldn’t blame her, Kanan thought morosely, as he stared down at the remaining pieces on the dejarik board. He moved his kintan strider to the inner ring where it flattened the k’lorr slug, and roared in triumph. Having defeated himself soundly for the third time, Kanan switched off the board with a sigh. It was his fault, after all; he should never have let his own emotions and desires get the best of him like that. He hadn’t behaved the way a Jedi should, he hadn’t even acted like a gentleman, taking advantage of their peril to press himself on her. Small wonder she’d been angry at him; he’d hate himself, too, if he were her.

    And yet, a small but insistent corner of his mind whispered, Hera hadn’t seemed upset until he’d walked away and made his fumbling apology. When he’d kissed her, she hadn’t pulled away. She hadn’t slapped him, though she would have been well within her rights to do so. On the contrary, he thought she’d reacted with, well, a certain interest, even enthusiasm, after her initial astonishment when their lips met. He could still feel the touch of her lips warm against his, the softness of her skin, the way she’d melted into his arms—

    No. Kanan stood, shaking his head as if he could clear these alarming, intoxicating thoughts that way. It didn’t matter what he imagined Hera had felt, he was a Jedi, and these kinds of feelings were impossible for him. Attachments were impossible for him; he had to accept that. Hera would come to accept it, too, and they could go back to being the way they had been before: partners and friends, with nothing more needed or wanted. Unless, of course, she threw him off the ship at the next spaceport. Kanan groaned and pushed himself out from behind the dejarik table. Maybe it would be better if he went to his cabin to meditate.

    “Bwaaah!” The door to the common area slid open and Chopper wheeled in. Normally, the droid would have joined Kanan for a game of dejarik while the ship was in hyperspace, but today, he’d been conspicuously absent and Kanan could only assume that he shared Hera’s sentiments towards him. “B’bwah bwah bwaah bwop!” he blatted, poking Kanan with one grasper and waving the other forcefully towards the door. “Bwaah BWOP!”

    Hera wanted to see him? Kanan’s heart thudded, not knowing whether it should leap or crash at this unexpected news. “Right now?”

    “Bwah!” Chopper confirmed. He poked Kanan sharply and prodded him out the door and down the corridor like he was herding a particularly stubborn and stupid nerf. But at least, Kanan reflected as the droid goaded him into the cockpit, he hadn’t broken out his electroshock attachment for the job. He heard an evil snicker behind him as the door swished shut.

    Hera was sitting slumped in the captain’s seat, arms crossed over her chest, frowning out at the blue-white swirl of hyperspace. She sat up straight when she heard the door and her mouth flattened into a hard line. She raised an eyebrow at Kanan but said nothing.

    Kanan flashed back to being a youngling in the Jedi Archives, kneeling on his hands and knees on a table, the better to see all of the dozen holobooks spread out in front of him, as Master Nu scowled down at him with exactly the same expression. He tried not to squirm now the way he had then. “You, uh, wanted to see me?”

    “No.” Hera turned back to the viewport, eyes resolutely trained forward.

    Whatever he’d expected her to say, that wasn’t it. “But Chopper said that you..”

    “Well, I don’t.”

    “I... I guess… I’ll be going then…” Kanan stammered. He’d expected Hera to be angry and hurt. He’d expected her to shout at him, maybe even curse him. He could have handled that; he deserved it and then some. But this cold indifference, the way she blocked him out refusing to even look at him, felt like a lightsaber to the heart. And he realized too late that by denying his feelings, he hadn’t just squashed whatever might have happened between them, he’d shredded the trust and easy camaraderie that they already had. He didn’t know how—if—he could repair it. How he was going to live without it if he couldn’t, if Hera wouldn’t even let him try. Reluctantly, he turned to leave.

    And nearly slammed into the door, which was still closed.

    Kanan frowned. He took half a step back and forward again, trying to trigger the door’s motion sensor, but it remained stubbornly shut. He peered at the door frame running his hands along it to see if something had gotten jammed somehow, but found nothing. He stepped back again, waving his hands, hoping that perhaps some more obvious movement would activate the mechanism.

    “Is there a problem?” Hera’s tart voice inquired as he went through his nuna-flapping motions for the third time.

    “The door won’t open.” Kanan lowered his arms, feeling like a nerf brain. Could this moment possibly get more awkward? “The sensor must be out.”

    Hera made an exasperated sound as she switched to the seat behind the captain’s chair and swiveled to the Ghost’s main computer terminal. She had just pulled up the ship’s directory when the cockpit lights suddenly flickered and turned off, leaving only the emergency backups on.

    “Wonderful,” she groaned. Her frown deepened as she tapped at the computer’s main menu, to no effect. Hera tapped at the screen again—and again and again with increasing force, until with a hiss of frustration, she flipped on the comm system. “Chopper, what’s going on? Why is my terminal offline? Interface with the main computer and see if there’s some sort of problem with the generator and the central processor. Chopper?”

    Static crackled over the intercom for a second, and then--

    “Amorous emooootiooons pervaaade the atmosphere ….” The deep bass-baritone voice of the one and only Bari Viess crooned soulfully. “Whichever way I turn my eyestalks… They pervaaaade the atmooooospheeere...”

    Hera’s mouth dropped open for a moment, and she spun towards Kanan, glaring vibro-shivs at him, her expression daring him to laugh. Or speak. Or even breath loudly. He held up his hands, palms out, and shook his head. Whatever was going on here, it was none of his doing. For one thing, if he was going to have Chopper broadcast romantic music, he would have chosen something besides Bari Viess.

    She whirled back to the comm station with a scowl and jabbed the switch. “Chopper!! This isn’t funny!”

    The droid apparently thought so, though; there was a distinctly smug chuckling to his answer. “Bwah! Bwah bwop b’bwaah bwahbwaah bwah bwop b’bwop!”

    “Why you…!” Hera exclaimed, her cheeks flushing, though Kanan couldn’t tell whether it was from embarrassment, anger or a little of both. Her presence in the Force was such a churning tangle that he couldn’t even discern the individual strands of emotion that swirled through it.

    “What did he say?” The droid’s vocalizations had been too rapid for Kanan to catch most of what he’d said, but from the look on Hera’s face, he doubted he was going to like it any more than she had. Chopper’s sense of humor ranged from the mildly obnoxious to the downright vile.

    Hera’s lekku twitched spasmodically. “He says he’s keeping us in here until, and I quote ‘we kiss and make up.’”

    “That’s just a figure of speech, though, right?” That didn’t seem so bad. Kanan was all for making up; he’d apologize as abjectly as he had to to make things right with Hera. He didn’t see why Chopper thought all this rigmarole was necessary to get that to happen, though. Locking them in...well, all right, Hera didn’t seem inclined to talk to him otherwise, but lowering the lights and playing sappy love songs? Surely that was a bit much.

    “Bwahahaha!” Hearty electronic laughter pealed over the comm. “Bwah! Bwaah bwabwaah bwop!”

    “No. He’s being literal.” Hera flipped every switch and turned all the knobs on the control panel in growing annoyance as Chopper continued his smug lecture in Binary. “He adds that since he’s a droid, he doesn’t need to eat or use the fresher, but eventually we will. So we’d better get to… Cee-One-Ten-Pee, I am not repeating that!” Her already flushed face mottled the color of an overripe meiloorun. She leaned towards the comm speaker like she wished she could reach through it and deactivate a certain trying astromech. “When I get out of here… yes, thank you for reminding me that you’re in control of the cabin door!”

    “I could use my lightsaber…” Kanan offered. The cockpit door wasn’t nearly as thick as a Star Destroyer’s double shielded blast door; it would only be a few minutes’ work to slice their way through.

    Hera shot a pointed look over her shoulder at him. “And damage my ship?! I don’t think so! Ugh… he’s got me completely locked out!” She smacked her hands against the terminal and pushed herself back into her chair. “You are so getting your circuits wiped for this!” she shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at the intercom.

    “There is an easy way out of this, you know.” He was surprised she hadn’t already seen it. “We could just give him what he wants…”

    “What he wants?”

    “Yes, you know, just to get him to open the door…” It wouldn’t have to be like last night’s kiss, when he’d let himself get carried away by the feel of Hera’s sensual lips, the warmth of her body pressed against his, her rising ardor as they… Kanan squashed down that memory before it could become too tempting. This would be nothing like that. One quick kiss. A peck on the cheek, even, if Chopper would accept that. Friendly. Collegial. Apologetic. Nothing more.

    “Mmh-hmm.” Hera crossed her arms over her chest, her expression frosty and her lips in a decidedly un-sensual line.

    “What’s that supposed to mean?” It was a perfectly reasonable suggestion, after all. As reasonable as you could be when you were dealing with irrational droids whose personality matrices needed a major overhaul.

    “To get Chopper to open the door. To fool the stormtrooper.” Hera sprang up from her seat and jabbed a finger into the center of his chest. “Are you ever going to kiss me for real?!”

    “What?” Kanan took a step back, startled by her vehemence. Her voice was raw with all the hurt she’d held back before, but there was a strange note of longing behind it, a longing that was reflected in her eyes when they met his. A longing that matched his own for her. Yes! part of him responded. Kiss her—reaIly kiss her! Do it now! “I…” You can’t, another part admonished. You’re a Jedi. You know you can’t.. “Jedi…”

    “No! I don’t want to hear what Jedi do or don’t do!” Hera cried, her eyes flashing. For a moment, Kanan thought he saw the gleam of tears in them. But it must have been a trick of the dim lighting, because the next moment, she prodded him hard in the sternum again. “Tell me that you, Kanan Jarrus, don’t want to kiss me, that you didn’t mean anything by what happened last night and I’ll never bring it up again.Tell me you regret it, and I’ll find a way to jerry-rig the door and we can get on with our lives.”

    Kanan hesitated. He knew that he should tell her; it would be better for them both that way. He was a Jedi and attachments were forbidden to him. He had to let her go, to let her find someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved.

    But he hesitated. Because if he was honest with himself, he wanted to kiss Hera, and he wanted it more than he’d wanted anything for a very long time. How could just let her go? If he was still a Jedi at all, it was only because her idealism had reawakened that side of him. She’d reminded him what it was like to have a purpose, to be part of a team, and to fight for something bigger than himself. Without her, he might as well still be that aimless drifter, living just to stay one step ahead of the Empire. He didn’t want to be that man again, and he didn’t want to live without Hera. There was no use denying it any longer.

    “I can’t,” Kanan sighed. “The only thing I regret is that I was too much of a coward to be honest with you. It’s not easy for me to admit it, even to myself.” How could he explain it to her, when he was still trying to understand it all? “I was raised with the idea that Jedi control our emotions,” he said, and somehow it was easier to address this explanation to a scuff mark near his left boot. “We don’t have relationships. We don’t seek them. We don’t need them or want them, not the way other beings do. But, well, I guess I was never very good at that part of it because I do… I just… “ He shook his head. “I don’t know how to feel this way.”

    “And you think I do?”

    “You?” Kanan’s head snapped up. The gentleness in Hera’s voice surprised him nearly as much as the idea that she could be as unsettled by these feelings as he was. “But you’re…. You’re beautiful, Hera. Amazing. There must have been lots of men who…”

    “If they did, I never knew it,” she said with a tiny, rueful laugh. “You grew up in a temple, but I grew up on a battlefield, the revolutionary’s daughter. It puts a bit of distance between you and your peers when there are songs about your father’s exploits.” Hera paused, gazing out at the whirling streaks of hyperspace for a long moment before continuing with a sigh. “And after I left Ryloth I didn’t have relationships, I had a cause. I didn’t think I had time or room in my life for anything else. I didn’t think I needed anything else, but I do.” A wistful smile played at the corners of her lips, and she spread her hands. “So you see, I’m not really sure how to feel this way, either.”

    Bari Viess’s baritone thrumming “Every image, every tooooone..They pervaaade the atmooooospheeeeere…” was the only sound in the cockpit as Kanan considered these unexpected revelations. Hera so rarely spoke of her past that he’d never thought of what being Cham Syndulla’s daughter must have been like for her. In some ways, it must have been more like his boyhood as a Jedi initiate than any sort of typical childhood. Both of them had been raised with their needs secondary to the greater good. They’d been taught the importance of duty, justice, and freedom.

    And now, here they were, both struggling with these unfamiliar emotions, wondering how to reconcile their commitment to fighting the Empire with their need for the kind of love that would make all the fighting worthwhile.

    “I don’t knooooow if I’m fooooolish,” Bari sang. “Don’t knooooow if I’m beeeing wiiiise…”

    Kanan didn’t know if what he felt was wise, either. He only knew that he was wiser, better, more whole with Hera than he had been without her. He reached out to her. “Maybe we could figure things out together.”

    “Maybe we could,” Hera whispered, reaching back.

    He stepped towards her, closing the gap between them. “Then I guess there’s just one thing left to do.”

    “Oh? What’s that?”

    “For real this time…” Kanan said, and he kissed her.

    There was an ineffable sweetness to their kiss knowing that Hera was experiencing the same exhilarating astonishment that he was, and a reassurance in the knowledge that whatever hopes and doubts he had, she had, too. And when the kiss deepened from a gentle brush of lips into something more ardent, it wasn’t that they were surrendering to their emotions so much as acknowledging what had been growing between them all along.

    Whether this was wise or whether it was foolish, only time would tell, but this moment, with Hera in his arms and her lips pressed against his, felt incredibly right and definitely real to Kanan, beyond any shadow of a doubt.

    Neither of them heard the click of the cabin door unlocking… or the satisfied chuckle of a very smug astromech.

    ———

    Chopper congratulated himself as he unplugged from the main processor’s interface. His plan had succeeded admirably—of course. Organics could be so predictable at times. All you had to do was apply the right stimuli to get the chemicals flowing in those squishy meatbags they called bodies and the rest would take care of itself. And speaking of proper stimuli—he decided to leave the cockpit’s lighting dim and let the “Bari Viess’s Greatest Hits” compilation he’d pulled off the holonet keep playing. Though things seemed to be proceeding nicely—Kanan and Hera were still kissing and showed no inclination of stopping—these two were more stubborn than most organics and needed all the help they could get in navigating the arbitrary set of emotions and bio-physical reactions meatbags termed “love”.

    It was lucky for them that they had him around.

    ++++
     
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! Wonderful how Chopper orchestrated the entire thing with mood music and soft lighting which made it easy to share their genuine insecurities and true affection. This was ABSOLUTELY WORTH THE WAIT! [face_love]
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2020
    Findswoman , Kahara and Raissa Baiard like this.
  11. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    WOOHOO IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE!!!1!!! :kanan::hera::kanan::hera::kanan::hera::chopper:[face_dancing][face_dancing][face_dancing]

    OK, ahem...

    Wonderful final chapter! Once again, you've achieved that perfect mix of humor and tenderness that has characterized this story from the outset and that is such a defining feature of Kanera in general. As always, the feelings on both sides are so sensitively and believably described, from the initial hurt and awkwardness both parties feel to their relieved elation later when they not only find their feelings are reciprocated but also realize that they're coming at those feelings from the same kind of unfamiliarity and insecurity. (I hadn't thought about it before reading this, but they really are—and what an important common ground that turns out to be for them!)

    And CHOPPER! :chopper: You see I put him in the string of emojis up there, too, because we absolutely can’t forget him, his integral role, his spot-on plan, and of course his perfect choice of song! (Bari Viess! [face_rofl] Who no doubt has the eyestalks described in his song!) I totally accept the headcanon that he was an important catalyst in the formation of Kanan and Hera's romance, and I can 100% see him pulling this exact kind of prank (and being totally self-satisfied about it, too). In a way, his understanding of that strange, complex set of meatbag bio-psycho-chemical reactions is not at all shabby—the whole reason he cooks up this whol mood-music-and-lighting scheme is precisely because he knows that these two need to have an honest conversation about their feelings if they're to achieve an optimal outcome.

    Of course, a nice long, soft, squeelicious KISS doesn't hurt in that department either! :* [face_love] Their kiss is just... SO sweet and SO gorgeously described and so very in character. I've said it before, but don't by any means sell short your skills—your considerable skills—in writing romantic scenes and kisses. I learned pretty much everything I know about that kind of writing from you. @};-

    Another romantic-comedic Kanera triumph by you, with cunning Chop as the icing on the cake! Big congratulations for bringing this to completion—you rock SO HARD! =D= =D= =D=
     
  12. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2006
    I always liked Rebels and seeing Chopper brings back some good memories. Glad that you have finished this story with the great emotions shown in the last chapter as well.
     
  13. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard FFoF Artist Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    [:D] Thanks! Chopper is one very sharp--and very sneaky--astromech. His job is to fix things, and that's exactly what he does here :D He may not fully understand why these two meatbags find it so hard, but darn it, he's going to create the mood so they can get down to kissing like they know they really want to! And once Kanan stops retreating to rote doctrine and admits his feeling, he finds that he and Hera are coming from a more similar place than he'd thought. That honesty opens the door for a new chapter in their relationship. Glad that you enjoyed this!
    :D :D :D

    Thank you so much! That was one thing I had to decide while writing this story--we know how Kanan was raised and what the Jedi taught about relationships, but we really don't know much about Hera's childhood or whether she had any previous experience with love. But we do know that she and Kanan had been working and traveling together for several years before Rebels, which meant that she must have left Ryloth in her late teens to become a pilot.And knowing how driven she is and what a larger-than-life figure Cham was in the Free Rylothe Movement, it made sense to me that she'd led sort off an isolated existence, where relationships took a backseat to her causes. And that comes as a shock to Kanan, because of course a beautiful, amazing woman like Hera must understand all this relationship stuff, right?
    He deserves to be included! If it wasn't for him, the'yd still be splashing around in denial river; Hera would let he hurt fester while Kanan kept shoving his emotions down and building walls between them. He's a perceptive (and prankish) droid, and no doubt he noticed Kanan's uncomfortable reaction to the Moff and Adila's tryst and that's why he picked this particular soundtrack :D If nothing else, they have to stop avoiding each other before any sort of resolution can be reached and Chop ensures that happens, while providing the right stimuli for their encounter to go the way he wants it to--and really, the way they want it go, too, once they are really honest with themselves and each other.

    [face_blush] Oh well, thank you ery much. I take that as I high compliment indeed, since your romantic scenes are an inspiration to me [face_love]

    Thank you, again [:D] [:D] [:D] I really could not have done this without your encouragement @};-
    Thank you! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020