Story [Sherlock] Perhaps It's Elementary (UDC 5 & UDC 4) UPDATED 02/04/2012!

Winner of the 2011 Best Non-SFF Award

Title: Perhaps It?s Elementary
Author: Idrelle_Miocovani
Genre: drama, adventure, humour
Timeframe: anytime during and after ?A Study in Pink?
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, DI Lestrade, Sgt Sally Donovan, etc.
Summary: Drabbles about the daily lives of Sherlock and John. This thread includes prompts from the Ultimate Drabble Challenge 5 and the Ultimate Drabble Challenge 4!
Notes: If you aren?t familiar with the exact fandom, these drabbles are for the BBC?S Sherlock Holmes modernization Sherlock, created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss (who you may know from Doctor Who). It?s a brilliant TV series and you need to watch it if you haven?t.
Dedication: To Mar17swgirl, the founder of the ?Put A Sherlock Quote About Human Body Parts In Various Kitchen Appliances In Your Signature? Club, because it?s her fault.
Comics: Mar had the wonderful idea of adapting some of the drabbles into a comic strip. She is a brilliant artist, and I hope you all enjoy her artwork, 'cause it rocks.

Comic 1 - "99" (from Set IV)
Comic 2 - "Lantern" (from Set V)

---

[blockquote][b][color=darkblue]Perhaps It?s Elementary[/color][/b][/blockquote]

[blockquote][b]I[/b][/blockquote]

[b]Doctor [/b]

There were times when John felt guilty. Doctors were supposed to help people. When he had been in Afghanistan, he had seen many things that people wouldn?t even like to think about: the battle wounds, the ground stained red, men and women ? good people ? blasted to bits. He had helped the injured. Helped them live to see another day? or another hour.

Then he got shot.

Back home in England, those things no longer existed. Back home, it was worse. Instead of spending time with the dying, he spent time with the dead.

And he loved every moment of it.


[b]Companion[/b]

?What did you say??

?Can?t you listen for once?! You?re supposed to be helping.?

?I didn?t understand a word you said!?

?That?s because you weren?t listening, John. You hear, but you don?t listen!?

?Well, I?m [i]sorry[/i] if everything I hear happens to sound like you?ve a potato stuck in your mouth!?

?No, shut up, it?s all right. I don?t need you to listen. I just need you to stand there so I can talk at you, it helps me think.?

?Because I?m a stand-in for a skull, isn?t that right??

?Skull? No. You?re much better than that. You?re my companion.?


[b]Time[/b]

He stared at the clock. The second hand made a pass around the wide, white circle. As it swept by the 12, the minute hand clicked into its next place.

10:00.

There were three hours left. Three bloody hours and then someone, somewhere, would go up in flames as the explosives strapped to them detonated.

At least it would be over quickly.

John pressed his hands together and stared across the room. Sherlock was lying on the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. His visible arm had three nicotine patches stuck on it.

?Sherlock??

?What??

?We?re running out of time.?


[b]Space[/b]

?GET OUT! GET OUT!?

Sherlock?s voice exploded around them, fury and annoyance burning in his eyes. John had seen this kind of thing before. Sherlock wasn?t mad at them. He didn?t do mad ? well, he almost never did mad. He was just irritated that the common man ? or, in this case, the police ? was slowing him down. There were too many people, too many officers, too many echoing voices in the room blocking his concentration. He needed space: space to think, space to run through whatever possibilities his brilliant mind had conjured up. Space to do what he did best.


[b]Dim

 

Aww, thanks for the lovely dedication!

And I love the drabbles. Can't wait to read more!

 

LOL, thanks, Mar! I had a feeling you'd appreciate it.

I ended up writing all seventeen current sets of drabbles in one go, so I'll be posting this off-and-on until I get caught up to where everyone else is.

---

[blockquote][b]II[/b][/blockquote]

[b]Island[/b]

People were idiots. There was no shame in that; it was a true fact. But it did quickly become annoying, especially when he had to constantly remind people that they shouldn?t take it as an insult. People saw, but they didn?t look. People heard, but they didn?t listen.

He looked and he listened and he understood the world in a way people didn?t. That made him a genius. He was an island in a sea of mediocrity and incapableness. An island in an archipelago of other geniuses that just happened to be criminal masterminds.

At least that made life interesting.


[b]Survival[/b]

There was always the question as to whether he would survive some of his dangerous escapades. He did think of that as he rope dug into his neck, burning his skin as it slowly suffocated him. He struggled, but his attacker was relentless. The world flashed before his eyes.

Then there was a shot. A shot in the dark, and the rope was gone.

He coughed, looking up. He grabbed the hand extended to him.

?Why did you do that? I was doing fine on my own.?

?Well,? John said, ?I couldn?t bloody well let you die, now could I??


[b]Lost[/b]

?Where are we??

?I?m? not sure.?

?How can you not be sure? Sherlock, you?ve got the entire city map of London memorized!?

?Yes, but I were not [i]in[/i] London, are we??

?I was showing you that you could memorize any city map.?

?Just because I can doesn?t mean I will.?

?Yes, but I figured??

?You figured wrong. Pass me your phone.?

?Again? Didn?t you bring yours??

?No, why would I? It was in my room when we left. I knew you would bring yours.?

??fine, take it. What are you looking for??

?A way out. We?re lost, aren?t we??


[b]Other[/b]

?So, who is this guy??

Sherlock continued to stare at his computer screen. ?Pass me a pen.?

John obliged, grabbing a pen and tossing it across the room. Sherlock caught it and scribbled something down on a pad of paper.

?Moriarty,? he said finally. ?A genius mastermind. If you have a problem, he?s the man to go to. Murder your spouse, fake your own death, disappear off the map without a trace? he?ll arrange it for you and the police will never know. He?s a consulting criminal.?

?Like a consulting detective, but for bad people? Blimey, he?s the other you.?


[b]Flashback[/b]

Sherlock never forgot anything he deemed important. So while he might not remember that the Earth goes around the sun, he had an uncanny ability to tell you, for example, exactly what you had said at lunch about so-and-so six months ago if that conversation became important.

So, John wasn?t very surprised when Sherlock solved Lestrade?s new case in twenty minutes. Eighteen minutes were spent reading all of the files about the string of murders. The next two were devoted to remembering a specific antique sword an old acquaintance of his owned.

Never underestimate the power of a Holmes? flashback.

 

John saves Sherlock's butt yet again, and Sherlock doesn't even say thanks. Typical.

Teeheehee, that's so right.

Hear, hear.

 

Companion and Lost The bickering.

Never underestimate the power of a Holmes? flashback.
That's right.

You wrote all of them in one night? *bows to Idri's drabble skills*

 

MAR

John saves Sherlock's butt yet again, and Sherlock doesn't even say thanks. Typical.

Of course. It's only natural.

Teeheehee, that's so right.

There was enough Not So Different stuff going on in The Great Game that I couldn't ignore it.

Hear, hear.




FELSGODDESS
Glad you liked the bickering! It's run to write.

Oh yeah, I did all seventeen in one night. I tend to think in bursts of dialogue, which are very well suited for drabbles, I've discovered. With the right fandom, I could do hundreds of these.


Thanks for reading!

 

Of course, the issue with having done all seventeen at once is that now I'm all eager to post and... well, I'll try not to post all of them at once.

Here's another set for today.

---

[blockquote][b]III[/b][/blockquote]

[b]Far[/b]

?You?ve gone too far this time!?

Sherlock stayed where he was, lounging on the couch in his pyjamas. ?Oh, don?t be so melodramatic.?

?I mean it, Sherlock!?

He rolled his eyes. ?I don?t understand why you?re so bothered.?

?Bothered? Of course I?m bothered! I eat my food from that kitchen!?

Sherlock sat up. ?What do you want me to do? I am in the middle of an experiment, I can?t get rid of all of my samples just because you feel peckish.?

?No, but you can find a better place to keep human body parts than our bloody kitchen appliances!?


[b]Prisoners[/b]

Sometimes John thought he was mad. Mad to be dragged into these ridiculous situations, all because Sherlock couldn?t keep his nose out of a murder case for ten minutes and John? well? as much as he hated to admit it, he liked it. He liked the thrill, the adrenaline rush that only came when you were in danger. Without it, his life would be terribly boring, and he wasn?t very comfortable being bored.

Maybe he and Sherlock were more similar than they thought. They were hopeless prisoners to excitement and God help them if boredom ever came to the rescue.


[b]Peacekeepers[/b]

John looked at the skull. The skull looked back.

It grinned at him.

?That?s very kind of you, Yorick,? John muttered. He glanced across the room at Sherlock, who was staring determinedly into space again, and silently thanked God for Mrs Hudson bringing the skull back. Between them, they were able to keep the peace, keep Sherlock from blowing more holes in the wall. He did that (or something worse) when he didn?t have anyone to talk to. When John was there, Sherlock talked at him. When John wasn?t there, Sherlock talked at the skull.

It worked out pretty well.


[b]Uncharted[/b]

John was accustomed to running. There were some things you could only do on foot ? like intercepting cabs, chasing people fleeing in cars, that kind of thing. If they were James Bond, they would have a car. A car with GPS. It would make for a terrific film.

But they weren?t James Bond. Somehow, they always ended up running across London anyway ? and they always ended up at the right spot at the right time.

It was either a miracle, or it just proved it was always better to run across London uncharted ? as long as Sherlock was with you.


[b]Scape[/b]

?What the hell are you doing??

?Looking.?

?You could have fallen!?

?I?m not going to fall.?

?Sherlock, you?re seven stories up. Have you become a trapeze artist or something??

?I needed to see things from a higher perspective, so I came up here. The roofs of apartment buildings are excellent for that, don?t you think??

?I?d stay closer to the ground if I were you.?

?If you were me, you?d understand why I need to see the cityscape from this particular vantage point.?

?Well, I?m not you and I don?t understand. So enlighten me. You?re going to do that anyway.?

 

?No, but you can find a better place to keep human body parts than our bloody kitchen appliances!?
Nah.

Scape

Love these.

 

Love the bickering between Sherlock and John.

Nice sets of drabbles forming stories.

 

Maybe John should try this...

This sentence so nails it!

"Talk at", not "talk to". Nice touch there, Idri.

Great stuff, keep it coming!

 

FELSGODDESS

Nah.

LOL! Yeah. Take a look at the quote I have in my sig, and the one Mar has in hers for better examples of "human body parts in kitchen appliances".

"Scape" was fun. In the unaired pilot, there's this shot of Sherlock standing on a rooftop and he has his gigantic black coat billowing around him - it's all very Torchwood. "Scape" came out of that.

I'm so glad you like them! Yay!


EARLYBIRD

Thanks! Bickering and banter is a lot of fun to write. My favourite.


MAR

OMG IT'S STEPHEN FRY IN A DRESS!!!!

I thought you would appreciate that line. When I wrote it, I was actually thinking of the (I'm going to quote this wrong, I'm tired and can't think of the right wording) "You've seen a lot of dead bodies"/"Yes. Too much for a life time."/"Want to see some more?"/"Oh, God, yes" exchange from A Study in Pink.

"Talk at", not "talk to". Nice touch there, Idri.

Yay, someone picked up on that! It's a subtle difference. One implies a conversation; the other implies that Sherlock's doing all the talking. (Which is really what the skull and the skull's stand-in -- poor John -- are for ).

I'm glad you're liking these!

---

Well, I'm bored, not tired, my Muse is on fire and I'm leaving for school tomorrow. What the hell, might as well post the next set, right? [face_silly]

(I promise, I'll try to settle down the insane posting schedule once I get back to school - I'm just completely hyped up on a writing crazy right now [face_silly] ).

[hr]

[blockquote][b]IV[/b][/blockquote]

[b]Smart[/b]

Sherlock was the definition of a living oxymoron. He was both incredibly intelligent and incredibly stupid at the same time. If you had him take a primary school test, he would probably fail. Yet he could tell the life story of everyone he encountered simply by looking at them. John knew ? he had seen Sherlock use the trick in action too many times to count.

At the end of the day, it didn?t matter if Sherlock didn?t know who the Prime Minister was. He was a consulting detective and he was smart in the area where it counted the most.


[b]99[/b]

?Ninety-nine??

?Unless I?m mistaken, it?s terribly important.?

?Then? what??

?Ninety-nine, John!?

?Nope, still blanking on it.?

?Ninety-nine books on the wall. Exactly ninety-nine! And remember where she was found. The house number??

?Was ninety-nine. Coincidence, maybe.?

?Maybe, but not.?

?What are you going to do??

Sherlock turned around and grinned. ?I am going to take every single one of these ninety-nine books off the shelf and find the ninety-ninth word on the ninety-ninth page in each of them. That will tell us where we need to go next.?

?Ninety-nine??

?I told you it had everything to do with this.?


[b]Chief[/b]

Detective Inspector Lestrade stared at his phone. The words ?YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. SH.? were staring back at him in black letters on a gleaming screen. He waited a moment and then his phone beeped and a new message appeared.

?PLEASE COME IMMEDIATELY. SH.?

Lestrade sighed and snapped the phone closed. He glanced at Sergeant Donovan, who had a disapproving look on her face.

?You?re only encouraging him, sir,? she said.

?We need him.?

?He?s making us look like idiots.?

?We can?t do this without him.?

She shook her head. ?Sometimes I wonder who?s chief around here, sir.?


[b]Agents[/b]

Donovan arrived with two cups of coffee in her hands. She plonked them down on the table top.

?Thank you, Sally,? Sherlock said.

John nodded his thanks.

Donovan glared at them. ?Never again, you hear? I don?t run coffee errands for you.?

?You just did,? Sherlock said.

?And it won?t become a habit. You two swan about here like you?re special agents; if were up to me, I wouldn?t let you through. If you really want to investigate, go through the system and pass the tests like the rest of us.?

?We?re not agents,? Sherlock said. ?We?re better than that.?


[b]Shoe[/b]

?No signs of a struggle, but there?s blood all over the ground.?

Sherlock knelt next to the body, f

 

Of course. But Sherlock needs someone to bounce ideas off - and they bounce off John much better than they do off the skull...

Ahh, a hint of The Blind Banker... Love the insane grin, I can totally picture him!

Sally = pwned!


And I liked Shoe best - it's all in there, the body, the mystery, Sherlock insulting Lestrade, and a lightning-fast deduction from a single object.

 

?I am going to take every single one of these ninety-nine books off the shelf and find the ninety-ninth word on the ninety-ninth page in each other them. That will tell us where we need to go next.?

Shoe is awesome.

 

Oh please, please, please. Let me know when you update!

I loved the BBC series so much and I am thrilled to see your drabbles.

 

Mar
Of course. But Sherlock needs someone to bounce ideas off - and they bounce off John much better than they do off the skull...

I would be a bit worried if ideas bounced off skulls.

Ahh, a hint of The Blind Banker...

I like allusions, what can I say?

Love the insane grin, I can totally picture him!

Benedict Cumberbatch has a rather memorable performance as Sherlock, it's pretty easy to picture him!

Sally = pwned!

Always.

I loved Shoe, too. Naturally he'd be able to tell everything about the crime simply by looking at footwear.


FelsGoddess
Yeah! I think Shoe was my favourite to write from this set.


AzureAngel
I'm updating so frequently, so I won't be doing a PM list. Check back to NSWFF once a day or every two days and you'll find a new set of drabbles.

I love the series, too! Best thing to come to TV in a while.

 

V

Super

John was beginning to hate going shopping. There was a routine that he had to do: go to the supermarket, find the food, argue with the chip and pin machine, and return home only to lug the food up the stairs and put it away. If he was lucky, there wasn?t a severed head in the fridge when he got home.

He wasn?t going to forgive Sherlock for that one.

?Why don?t you ever get the shopping?? John said one afternoon.

?You don?t have to,? Sherlock said. ?If you want me to do it, I will.?

?That would be? super.?


Bat

The bloodstained cricket bat sat innocently in a corner of the flat. Lestrade rubbed his forehead.

?Sherlock, are you even listening to me??

?No, I am not. Do I have a reason to??

?Yes. I?m trying to get some questions through your easily sidetracked mind.?

?Shame. I?ll pay attention this time if they prove to be more interesting than my work.?

Lestrade sighed. ?How did the bat get into your flat??

?Easy. I took it. Next question??

?How many times do I have to tell you not to withhold evidence??

Sherlock snapped his laptop shut and smiled. ?Indefinitely, I?m afraid.?


Wonder

John listened in wonder to yet another brilliant deduction. He checked his watch just as Sherlock finally closed his mouth and fell silent.

?Ten minutes,? John said.

?Oh, really?? Sherlock said dismissively. ?It took me that long? Funny, I thought it had been less than that??

?Ten minutes to solve a case? That?s pretty good, don?t you think??

?No. I have absolutely no opinion on my own abilities, other than I am wonderful.?

Sergeant Donovan rolled her eyes. ?Egotistical freak,? she muttered, turning around and stalking out the door.

John stared. ?Well, not everyone finds you wonderful.?

?Very few do.?


Hawk

?What the hell is sitting on the mantelpiece??

?Don?t you know? It?s the skeleton of a hawk.?

?That?s a bloody awful taste in decoration, Sherlock. Why do you have a skeleton of a hawk??

?For company. Mrs Hudson took my skull again. I need someone to talk to when you?re not here.?

?You didn?t have to get a hawk skeleton!?

?Why? It?s so much more interesting this way.?

?Interesting for who? It?s terrible for guests; Sarah already doesn?t like coming around, I don?t need another thing to put her off??

?If you don?t like the hawk, find another flatmate.?


Lantern

It was the middle of the night and the power was out. Sherlock held up the lantern. In the pitch darkness, it illuminated his face in flickering light. It was incredibly creepy.

?Put that down,? John said.

?Why? I think it?s rather clever.?

?It?s just a lantern.?

?No, it?s not! It?s an antique.?

?You?ll set the entire flat on fire if you drop it.?

?I won?t drop it, then. Simple.?

?What do you need an antique lantern for anyway??

?For fun,? Sherlock said. ?I?m bored.?

John rolled his eyes. ?Why do things always get infinitely more interesting when you?re bored??

 

Umm, didn't you mean "infinitely"? "Infinitely many times" makes more sense to me than "indefinitely many times". Unless conversations between Sherlock and Lestrade obey the rules of quantum mechanics... (don't shoot me if I'm wrong; ya know, foreigner, English not first language, etcetera etcetera )

Yeah, to hell with false modesty!

Ouch...

Yeah, no kidding...

EDIT:

Oh, and shouldn't there be just "Why?" in this exchange? "Why not?" doesn't make sense:

?Put that down,? John said.

?Why not? I think it?s rather clever.?

 

Mar, you're my unofficial official beta now! Couple of things: I'm using the word "indefinitely" in its "for an indefinite period of time", "until further notice", "for the forseeable future" capacity. But if you want to think quantum mechanics, I won't stop you. (Infinitely would work as well, you're not wrong, but indefinitely just sounds better to my writer's ear. ) And yeah, you're right about "why" and "why not" - I was just slipping into own method of speech, since usually when someone tells me not to do something I go, "why not?" (meaning "why should I not do this thing that you're telling me not to do?")

Yeah, to hell with false modesty!

He's a walking oxymoron!

Ouch...



Yeah, no kidding...

I was having a rather fun time with that mental visual image.

 

Note: "Choose any challenge set from UDC1 or UDC2." This set comes from UDC1, Week 8.

VI

Broken

?NO! Don?t do that, you?!?

John came up the stairs and stopped in the doorway. ?What?s going on??

Sherlock hurled something that looked like a phone across the room. ?Phone?s broken,? he said. ?Some days I hate technology ? can I borrow your phone??

John fished around in his pocket and handed his phone over. ?What were you doing??

?Looking up train departure times. A woman?s alibi depends on it.?

?And you can?t just use your computer because???

Sherlock gave him a look. ?It?s in my room.?

?So you decided to abuse your dead phone instead? Very mature of you.?


Fixed

?Sherlock, I was wondering??

?Whether I?d be willing to go somewhere else for the weekend.?

?How did you ? oh, never mind. Yeah. That?s exactly it.?

?I could tell from the number of times you?ve gone out in the hallway to call Sarah. It?s Sarah you?re calling because you?d never use that tone of voice with your sister and who else would you call on a regular basis??

John ignored that. ?So, will you???

?Leave? Oh, no, I?ve got everything fixed for you. I made arrangements for you and Sarah at a very nice hotel for the weekend. Have fun.?


Light

The light from the police?s torches were bright, sending sharp pain his eyes. John squinted and saw Sergeant Donovan?s scowling face looking back at him and Sherlock.

?Why are you here, freak?? she said.

?We discovered a murder,? Sherlock said.

She raised an eyebrow. ?I don?t believe you.?

?Give me five minutes and I?ll show you it?s a murder.?

?And how do I know you?re not the murderer??

She lifted her torch and shone it directly in his face. Sherlock raised a hand to block out the light.

?Because I can prove I didn?t kill this man. Just watch me.?


Dark

It was cold. It was dark. It was raining.

?Damn it!?

?What??

?What the hell were you thinking this time?? John asked, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm. ?Jumping on to a boat in the Thames??

?I made a miscalculation.?

?A miscalcula ? oh, this is brilliant. You can?t even admit you?re wrong and that you?ve made a mistake, one that means we?re sitting on some boat in the middle of the Thames, in the rain, in the dark of the night??

?I said miscalculation, not mistake. I?m not wrong, I just haven?t found the right answer yet.?


Shattered

There was a line of shattered porcelain fragments scattered across the floor by the wall. John stared at it, trying to figure out what had happened. Deciding he was better off not knowing, he set down his coat and went to clean up the mess.

?Don?t touch it!?

Sherlock, a big red mug in hand, flew into the room and pushed John out of the way.

?What? Why??

?I haven?t finished my analysis yet!?

?Your analys ? what have you been doing?!?

?This.? Sherlock gazed at the broken shards. He frowned and then suddenly hurled the red mug at the wall.

---

[blockquote][b]VII[/b][/blockquote]

[b]Iron[/b]

?I must say, Doctor Watson, I am impressed.?

?How so?? John eyed Sherlock?s brother warily. Things had a habit of either turning nasty or becoming very strange when Mycroft was around. Mycroft had a weird effect on people ? even weirder than Sherlock, if that was possible.

?Your sense of loyalty is iron-clad,? Mycroft said. ?My brother is a very distrusting man, but he seems to have given way for you. You are the only person he will trust, and that?s quite a remarkable achievement, wouldn?t you agree? Congratulations ? I believe you may have gained the admiration of Sherlock Holmes.?

?Right??


[b]Challenge[/b]

There was another code from Sherlock?s mysterious admirer sitting in his inbox. It was written in a pigpen cipher ? that had been easy enough to figure out ? but once all the letters had been laid out, it was still a nonsensical mess.

Or so John thought.

?No, no,? Sherlock contradicted him, ?it?s not a mess. It?s another cipher. Ciphers within ciphers; it?s not hard to figure out. I?ve already got the message.?

 

He wasn?t going to forgive Sherlock for that one.
Can't imagine why not.

?No. I have absolutely no opinion on my own abilities, other than I am wonderful.? Quick, the ego is going to suffocate us all.

These are great.

 

OMG, Sherlock is actually nice? That's rather touching, really.

Note the difference, John.

Hilarious!

Oooh, Mycroft! Of course he has a weird effect on people, he's played by Mark Gatiss!

Obviously...

This is SO getting made into a comic...

I can totally picture the slightly puzzled expression on Sherlock's face as he says this...


And look, the first comic's here:

[image=http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c251/Tauriel/Sherlock/sherlock_comic_01.jpg]

Hope you like it!

 

I'll get to doing proper author replies sometime tomorrow, but first--

Oh my God, Mar, I bloody love you!!! This comic thing is the best idea you've ever had! (Aside from introducing me to the show in the first place. )

 

I'm glad you like it. Hey, you could even put it in the title: "Now with artwork!"

 

Done. Totally.

And now I'm so excited I can't sleep and I have a 9:00 acting class! Wheeee!

 

Oh my this is elementary humour bickering and bantering