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Beyond - Legends Shirtless in Coruscant - (Self-realisation challenge response) - thank you for the award

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Tahi, Mar 26, 2007.

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  1. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Title: Shirtless in Coruscant
    Author: Tahi
    Genre: Short story, Humour
    A/N: This is my response to Striker's excellent [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/26281221/p1]self-realisation challenge[/link]


    All of us have little tropes, cliches and the like that we use in our stories. Little patterns that creep into our fics. This challenge is to have the characters in the viggie realize they're in your fic and have them react to those little idiosyncracies.

    It can be any era, any characters, any genre. Serious, angsty, a total parody... just one rule.

    *Whispers* They know they're in the fic!

    - RK_Striker_JK_5



    Shirtless in Coruscant

    It had been the kind of day that Leia and Han didn?t get to enjoy very often ? a day when they had had time to take a respite and escape the ever-present background of war preparations and political tension to enjoy a quiet trip to the Menari Mountains. Just the two of them ? no teenage children with expectations of indulging in some of the more active outdoor pursuits available, no governmental guests to entertain and amuse. The sun had shone for them as they strolled amongst the trees, and the breeze had been pleasantly cooling. And for once, nothing extraordinary had happened.

    So it was in a mellow mood that the two had returned home. The light filtered lazily through the half-shuttered blinds and the mid-afternoon warmth filled the apartment like a cosy blanket. Han caught his wife?s eye as she followed him into their living room and grinned, and was rewarded with a suitably amused smile in return, to which he replied with a hopeful raising of the eyebrows. Leia chuckled and slipped her arms round his neck.

    ?Making the most of it are you?? she asked in the husky tone that even after twenty years of marriage and three children still sent ionic charges through him.

    Han?s answer was to scoop her up into his arms and proceed to carry her through the door and down the corridor that led to their bedroom, both of them enjoying the simple pleasure of just being able to laugh and enjoy each other with nobody else . . .

    He stopped. Leia?s smile froze and then turned into a frown. They both cocked their heads on one side in an effort to determine the origin of the strange noise they had both simultaneously become aware of. Obviously, contrary to expectation, they were not alone in the apartment after all.

    They listened carefully. The sound presented itself as a muffled thumping noise interspersed occasionally with the distinctive timbre of voices, one male and one female. But there was something else ? a strange pattering noise, like water.

    Now it was Han?s turn to frown, and Leia?s eyes widened in an unspoken query.

    Han placed his finger on his lips and pointed towards the door at the end of the corridor, and Leia?s eyes widened again, but not in query this time ? more in a curious blend of surprise and outrage.

    ?Those little monsters!? she muttered, and followed Han as he crept soundlessly toward the door, weighing up the possible ways of dealing with this disturbing situation.

    ?You?ll need to get a good grip on it,? said a voice that they were in no doubt belonged to their youngest son, Anakin. ?This isn?t going to work otherwise.?

    ?It?s all slippery,? a girl?s voice, somewhat huskily, complained.

    Han and Leia exchanged a knowing glance. No surprises as to who was in there with him.

    ?There. How?s that?? Tahiri questioned with a faint note of triumph.

    The reply came as a grunt followed by another louder grunt, and the thumping noise started up again.

    ??S good. Keep hold of it.? Anakin sounded a little breathless. ?Just about there.?

    Han and Leia shared a look of consternation, and then moving as one person they threw open the door . . . and suddenly felt very silly.

    A wet and grimy face peered around the transpariplast door of the shower unit. ?Hi, Dad, Mum! Have a good trip??

    Another face ? fresh-complexioned ? appeared, and gave them a pearly smile. ?Anakin thoug
     
  2. Maggy

    Maggy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 2, 2004
    *more when I stopped laughing*

    [face_laugh]:_|[face_laugh]

    =D==D=


    ?Got any more of those Iicini?ian recipes?? grinned Anakin.

    [face_laugh]:_|[face_laugh] fried chicken? [face_laugh]:_|[face_laugh]









    :p

    Mags


     
  3. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    *pops in*

    I just have to say I love the title. ;)

    :D
     
  4. Emerald_Lady

    Emerald_Lady Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 18, 2006
    [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh]

    Double entendre. He smiled to himself as he hurried out to the apartment?s parking dock. In hindsight it was actually quite funny the way statements could be misread when you thought of them in the wrong context.

    Good to know I wasn't just being dirty-minded. ;)

    ?Got any more of those Iicini?ian recipes?? grinned Anakin.

    Brilliant, Anakin. [face_devil]

    Great job! This was hilarious. :D
     
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host Who Loves Fanfics & RPGs star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] You are too funny!! I thought Anakin and Tahiri were doing something other than fixing something!! I actually thought they were ... enjoying a mutual shower. [face_love] [face_love] I've read some of PonyTrick's really wacky wonders and this had the surreal flavor of her hilarious dialogue. [face_laugh] You must like Dr. Pepper too. [face_laugh] :)
     
  6. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    "But don't you think it looks a bit odd - a shower full of guys all with their shirts off talking about weird literary stuff?"

    Han pulled himself up straight. "Hey, you'd better not be trying to suggest what I think you're trying to suggest."

    The door opened to reveal Jaina, who took one look and then screamed and ran off, letting the door slam shut.


    LMAO!!!

    That was fantastic, Tahi! Those idiots with their shirts off, lol! Poor Jaina, you don't like her much I take it?

    I loved when they all figured out what was going on, except Tahiri who seemed to know from the beginning.

    Great stuff!
     
  7. Jedi-Ant

    Jedi-Ant Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2007
    ?Got any more of those Iicini?ian recipes?? grinned Anakin.

    [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh]

    Just when I thought the vig couldn't get any funnier, you go and roast the space chicken!!!

    [face_laugh]

    :p

    Oh, Tahi *still holding ribs* this was great!!! :D

    What's not to love about Anakin and Tahiri interaction (except for the censoring ;) ), and also a shower full of shirtless men!?! =P~

    Great response to the challenge!

    Awesome!!! =D=

    Now, if only my boss wasn't looking at me so strangely... (I read this during my lunch break) :p


    Ant.
    ]-}
     
  8. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Ha! That was hilarious. [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
     
  9. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That was hilarious!

    a shower full of guys all with their shirts off

    =P~ =P~ =P~

    Loved how you worked that in!

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  10. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi VIP star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 27, 2003
    This is such a cool challenge :D Kudos to Striker for coming up with it.

    They listened carefully. The sound presented itself as a muffled thumping noise interspersed occasionally with the distinctive timbre of voices, one male and one female. But there was something else ? a strange pattering noise, like water.

    I can already tell this is going to be great :p

    ?You?ll need to get a good grip on it,? said a voice that they were in no doubt belonged to their youngest son, Anakin. ?This isn?t going to work otherwise.?
    ?It?s all slippery,? a girl?s voice, somewhat huskily, complained.
    Han and Leia exchanged a knowing glance. No surprises as to who was in there with him.
    ?There. How?s that?? Tahiri questioned with a faint note of triumph.
    The reply came as a grunt followed by another louder grunt, and the thumping noise started up again.
    ??S good. Keep hold of it.? Anakin sounded a little breathless. ?Just about there.?


    :eek: :eek: :eek:

    Han and Leia shared a look of consternation, and then moving as one person they threw open the door . . . and suddenly felt very silly.
    A wet and grimy face peered around the transpariplast door of the shower unit. ?Hi, Dad, Mum! Have a good trip??
    Another face ? fresh-complexioned ? appeared, and gave them a pearly smile. ?Anakin thought he?d give you a surprise and fix your shower.?
    ?He gave us a surprise all right!? exhaled Leia, suddenly aware she had been holding her breath. She laughed giddily, partly from relief and partly due to lack of oxygen.


    [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh]

    She dutifully reached down and lifted what looked like a long piece of twine from the bottom of the shower tray, that on closer inspection turned out to be a bedraggled and very dead looking silk-snake. ?Poor thing must have crawled down the jet and then got drowned when someone switched the water on,? she explained.
    Han rolled his eyes. The explanation could be summed up in one word. ?Jacen!? he growled.


    [face_laugh] Poor snake :p

    Han shuddered a little at the memory of some of the other escapees from Jacen?s collection, the myrmin colony that had re-established their nest in his and Leia?s bed being one of the more traumatic. Not to mention the snapping toad in the refresher bowl.
    Han suddenly felt very close to his youngest son who did normal things ? like fixing the shower.


    You always write Han so well [face_laugh]

    ?Yeah,? replied Han with a frown. ?Odd eh? I?ve just been thinking about double entendre.?
    ?Double on what??
    ?Double entendre ? you know double meanings.?
    ?Oh,? Lando nodded. ?Yeah ? humour based on the possibilities that arise from the semantics of language. Good stuff.?


    [face_laugh]

    ?Well,? said Lando pragmatically. ?I did spend a bit of time with them recently remember, on Balmorra. But of course you weren?t there, so I guess you wouldn?t know.?

    MHR tie-in :D

    ?I thought you?d appreciate it, old buddy.? Lando was quite chuffed.
    ?What?s chuffed?? asked Vehn.


    [face_laugh]

    Anakin stopped screwing a washer back and gave his father a baleful look. ?Dad, are you sure you haven?t started drinking again??
    Han placed his hand over his heart. ?I swear I haven?t started drinking again.?
    ?That?s because he never actually stopped drinking,? Janson chuckled jokingly


    [face_laugh]

    I'm going to run out of laughing faces on this one :p

    ?They?re from a place called Iicini?ia,? Tahiri interjected. ?Which is in the Tarsus Sector.?
    Leia frowned, and then looked thoughtful, and then stared back at Tahiri, her mouth agape. ?Mother of meteors. This is a Tahi story!?


    It's about time they figured that out :p

    ?Jacen!? finished Leia, horror etched on her features as she studied her oldest son?s grey slightly oversized shorts and short-sleeved shirt, his woollen socks and tramping boots, not to mention a sunhat from which hung what looked like corks.

    I don't have any laughing faces left for this, but you can guess what I did :p

    ? I just don?t feel myself,? the
     
  11. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Tahi, this was fan-tabulous! [face_laugh]=D= I loved how you made everyone really work before figuring out the truth of the matter. (I think Tahiri knew all along, though.)

    So many laugh-out-loud moments!
    ?I would have thought you?d find it interesting ? you being into puzzles and cerebral things like that,? Lando pointed out.
    ?Maybe,? Anakin replied. ?But don?t you think it looks a bit odd ? a shower full of guys all with their shirts off talking about weird literary stuff??

    Well, when you put it that way...

    (This was my favorite response to this challenge so far. @};-)
     
  12. TahiriSoloFan

    TahiriSoloFan Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 20, 2003
  13. RK_Striker_JK_5

    RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2003
    LOL. Tahi, that was kriffin' brilliant! I had a smile the whole way through, there. Wonderful chllenge response!
     
  14. TheCrazyRodian

    TheCrazyRodian Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    OMG where is the face_ROFL when you need one? [face_laugh]

    This story is self-aware, hilarious, and creative--a wonderful challenge response to an equally wonderful challenge. Excellent work, Tahi. It's one thing for me to notice your tendencies, but it's another for you to write a story about them.
     
  15. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Mags
    Thanks ? glad you like it. :D

    ginchy
    Heh heh ? thanks for that. I originally had another one, but that occurred to me at the last minute.

    Emerald_Lady
    Good to know I wasn't just being dirty-minded.
    Fear not, you are not alone. :D

    Brilliant, Anakin.
    Oyah, there are no flies on Anakin ? well, none of the buzzy kind anyway. ;)

    Great job! This was hilarious.
    Thanks ? glad you had a laugh.

    Jade_eyes
    I actually thought they were ... enjoying a mutual shower.
    Really? What made you think a strange thing like that? [face_whistling]

    I've read some of PonyTrick's really wacky wonders and this had the surreal flavor of her hilarious dialogue.
    Ooh ? it sounds like he/she is someone I should check out.

    You must like Dr. Pepper too.
    Is he a friend of Dr Salt?

    Brentus
    That was fantastic, Tahi!
    Why merci beaucoup. ;)

    Those idiots with their shirts off, lol!
    Heh heh ? any excuse.

    Poor Jaina, you don't like her much I take it?
    I don?t mind her ? but I did go through an anti phase after SbS. And it?s true there is not much of Jaina in my stories. LOL

    I loved when they all figured out what was going on, except Tahiri who seemed to know from the beginning.
    Tahiri always twigs first ? well she does in my stuff anyway. :)

    Ant
    Just when I thought the vig couldn't get any funnier, you go and roast the space chicken!!!
    Hee hee ? that was actually a reference to an ongoing joke in the Death Star Disco Lounge, which was a rather crazy round robin we A/Ters had going a few years ago. It?s on the Classic Board.

    Oh, Tahi *still holding ribs* this was great!!!
    Why thankee.

    What's not to love about Anakin and Tahiri interaction (except for the censoring ), and also a shower full of shirtless men!?!
    Indeed ? I?ll take the shirtless men any day.

    Now, if only my boss wasn't looking at me so strangely... (I read this during my lunch break)
    Tut tut ? such wickedness. You go girl. [face_devil]

    Leona
    Glad you enjoyed a wee laugh. :D

    Kelia
    Hi there! :) Glad you liked it. Well, what?s a story without a few men sans shirts! Hee hee

    Great response to the challenge
    Thanks. :D

    Yoda
    Kudos to Striker for coming up with it.
    I agree. A brilliant idea.

    Poor snake
    Let me assure you that no real snakes were killed in the making of this story. ;)

    You always write Han so well
    Thanks for that. [face_blush]

    MHR tie-in
    Well it is self-parody. Heh heh Maybe I should have ended about two chapters from the end - or left them in the shower for two years. ;)

    It's about time they figured that out
    Yeah ? they?re all a bit slow on the uptake.

    I don't have any laughing faces left for this, but you can guess what I did
    Ummmmmm [face_thinking]

    That was awesome, Tahi! Hilarious self-parody This really had me giggling all the way through.
    I like the idea of men giggling. LOL ;)

    Thanks for the lovely feedback. :)

    Blue_Milkshake
    I suddenly feel very thirsty. LOL

    Tahi, this was fan-tabulous! I loved how you made everyone really work before figuring out the truth of the matter. (I think Tahiri knew all along, though.)
    Yep ? she?s on to it. And thanks for the kind comments.

    (This was my favorite response to this challenge so far.
    Awww ? thanks. You made my day. I had a lot of fun with it.

    TSF
    Ta [:D]

    Striker
    Thank YOU for the brilliant idea. :D And glad you liked it.

    CR
    This story is self-aware, hilarious, and creative--a wonderful challenge response to an equally wonderful challenge.
    Shucks ? thanks. :)

    It's one thing for me to notice your tendencies, but it's another for you to write a story about them.
    Ha ha ? nothing like a good la
     
  16. YodaKenobi

    YodaKenobi VIP star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 27, 2003
    It was a manly giggle. I did it while firing a handgun.
     
  17. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Ah - but were you shirtless, Yoda, that's what I want to know? :D
     
  18. PonyTricks

    PonyTricks Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Ah, all those shirtless men. [face_batting]


    I liked this line - ?Not to mention making Jacen look like a kind of cross between Steve Irwin and a total wally,? added Tahiri-

    Now I will always think of Jacen as a cross between Steve Irwin and Emperor Palpatine. Such a very, very odd combination. [face_worried]
     
  19. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Ha ha - what a wonderful image: Steve Palpatine. I wish I could draw. :D I can just imagine crocodiles dressed up as Red Guards, and Darth Vader as a big kangaroo. He could be Darth Skippy, ;) leaping over buildings in a single bound.

    The shirtless men are obviously a hit. :)



     
  20. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    ?This story had better end soon!? Jaina yelled threateningly, ?because I have to go to the ?fresher.?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Too funny!!!
     
  21. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Thanks Jade_Pilot. I wonder how long she can keep her legs crossed? Mwahahaha
    Poor Jaina. ;)

    Thanks for reading. :)
     
  22. Thrawn McEwok

    Thrawn McEwok Co-Author: Essential Guide to Warfare star 6 VIP

    Registered:
    May 9, 2000
    [face_laugh] :D [face_laugh] :D [face_laugh] That sums it up, in so many ways!! :D [face_laugh] :D [face_laugh] :D

    [face_laugh] =D= [face_laugh]

    Hillarious, all the way from the start!! [face_laugh] :cool:

    - The Imperial Ewok
     
  23. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    I laughed all through this! Hilarious work and a great self-parody, Tahi. @};- This challenge is brewing up all sorts of excellent work.
     
  24. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Yay! Hi Thrawn. [:D]

    Well - I guess in some ways shirtless guys in a shower discussing literary devices is a kind of new-age evolutionary transition from shirtless guys in a garage discussing mechanical devices. ;)

    Maybe? :D

    Glad you liked it anyway. LOL

    MirandaFair
    Thanks so much for reading - and glad it made you laugh. Laughter is apparently good for us. ;) :D

    Yes - it's one of the best challenge ideas we've had. Striker deserves a prize. :)


     
  25. Knight_Aragorn

    Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2003
    [face_laugh] This is brilliant! :D I especially liked Han's fascination with the double entendre and poor innocent Anakin's confusion.

    Fantastic work. :D

     
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