Whoa. First, that's not a stupid idea at all. Not only are you absolutely entitled to have your own personality, but we ALL have our own unique personality whether we want to or not. Your family, and especially your mother from what I see here, is way, way out of line. Second, you are NOT under any obligation whatsoever to keep a toxic person, or multiple toxic persons, in your life simply because they are related to you. While you can't choose the person that gives birth to you, you are well within your rights to choose who you surround yourself with and who you exclude from your life. If someone is being toxic like that, cut them loose. Yes, it may feel difficult to cut a parent out of your life, but if they won't change their ways (and toxic people rarely do), you'll be much better off in the long run by eliminating them from your circle. Just cut them out completely and enjoy the resulting peace. I may soon be cutting my father out of my life that way. I'm hoping at the moment that physically distancing myself from him by living in the next town instead of in his house will help heal our relationship (and it seems to maybe be working so far), but if it doesn't, I will not hesitate to cut off contact with him.