Signs your destiny may be controlled by a fanfic author

*is shocked* Who Jess? Brodey and Siri? Siri only has one eye and purple hair?

You always have a witty remark on hand.

Nobody ever insults you, even though you're a loud mouthed bragart.

You can back up your loud mouthed bragging...

That's all I got.

Edit: You go from being a severe introvert to be a severe extrovert over night.

 

Oooh, Brodey only scores one out of the four you mentioned, Dev. It's nice to always have a witty remark for every situation, and it's HILARIOUS when that witty remark always earns you a slap upside the head! I bet Anakin Skywalker had to deal with a lot of these from Obi-Wan. At least satirical Anakin Skywalker . . . Obi-lovers please don't kill me!

Jae

 

- Everyone you meet is part of your mysterious past or heroic destiny, even door-to-door salespeople.
- The middle of an enormous battle is the most convenient place you can think of for a family reunion.
- Half of your friends and family are dead at any given time, but not always the same ones. They trade every month or so.

 

- You can relate every single mention of impossibility back to rodent extermination on your home planet

- No matter how many times you are insubordinate, you keep getting promoted/reinstated/medals, even though other people have been busted so low they have to say 'sir' to an ant.

- Your immature behaviour and mental age of a 15 year old allows to you to survive as a fighter pilot when some of the best pilots of teh age are killed almost instantly

- You live like a monk for years and then suddenly, someone says "Hey, stop being a jerk and lighten up" while you're sitting in a cave and SHAZAM! You're cool again.

- You complain about having to wear dress uniform, even though no one else seems to have a problem with it.

- You carry around a grudge for years and years, only to just suddenly give up on it for no reason.

- You give away lightsabres like they're candy to people who probably shouldn't have one, but you frown upon people who make their own becasue that's just naughty!

 

--Every female you ever meet has flame-red hair, jewel-green eyes, and loves to humiliate you.

--You end up married to her.

--Your three year old speaks complete sentences with an adorable lisp, is as adept with a lightsaber as you are, and somehow is able to save the day when every adult around him is paralyzed with horror.

--Although you and your classmates have been raised to a strict religious and martial arts discipline, your days contain more pranks and practical jokes than an average episode of "Saved by the Bell."

--At least twice a day, you end up shirtless and screaming.

--The one who has you in that condition is incredibly beautiful, wears tight leather pants, and she's usually a pirate holding you as a slave.

--You fall deeply in love with her.

--Your love makes her turn from her evil ways to join with you in your fight against The Darkness of the Universe. Your colleagues are all okay with this, and never once suggest bringing her to trial.

 

Your first natural response to being abducted and raped would be to show such breathtaking strength of spirit that the rapist would fall in love with you, convert from his evil ways, marry you, and live happily ever after. It's even better if all his evil friends stop being evil too, and start hanging around your house, acting as black-clad, weapons-toting surrogate aunts and uncles to your kids.
Edit: Aaaaahh! Jinx, Mistress_Renata, jinx!

You have been expelled from the Jedi Order on trumped-up charges . . . more than once. By the same person. And nobody suspected a set-up the second time.

You have ever contracted a fatal disease just long enough for you to declare your undying love for the one person you've been pining for for years, only you've been too honorable to let them know, and then you suddenly make a complete recovery.

Or, alternately:

You develop a permanently disabling condition whose symptoms do not interfere with your being the best star pilot in the galaxy, but which cause you to become as helpless as an infant when you are in the presence of your beloved. Extra points if no actual disabling condition is ever diagnosed, but you just lose 70 IQ points and all emotional stability whenever s/he is around, for no apparent reason. (Unless, of course, you're Anakin Skywalker. Then you're canon.)

You are entirely emotionally dependent on one or more individuals whose relationship to you would not normally be one of intimacy, for example, the commander of your fighter squadron, your subordinate in the Imperial Navy, any member of the Jedi Council, or a collection of various heroic types to whom you have just been introduced.

You were horribly emotionally scarred from early childhood, perhaps because you were raised as a slave among space pirates, but you somehow manage to be a completely perfect parent to your own kids--all of this without ever visiting a therapist, or having to resort to yelling, or sending said kids to their rooms. Extra points if your kids have no time to get in trouble because they spend every day saving the universe. From your other relatives.

 

These are great!

 

- You think about the colour of your own eyes
- You refer to friends by their hair colour
- Or some other title that makes no sense

 

And all of these are reasons I love fanfiction!

 

You seem to relive the same moments of your life over and over and over again:

"Wow. I'm traveling to Bespin, again? This is, what? The thirty-thousandth time I've had to confront the same guy on a close-quartered voyage where I have incessant "bad feelings" about the place to which I'm heading?"

 

-You are married to someone with tails growing out of their head.

-No one seems to mind.

-Or notice, for that matter.

-You become best friends with a mass murderer, even though he tricked you into genocide. Unless your name is Jaina Solo. Then your destiny is controlled by NJO authors.

 

You seem to relive the same moments of your life over and over and over again:

"Wow. I'm traveling to Bespin, again? This is, what? The thirty-thousandth time I've had to confront the same guy on a close-quartered voyage where I have incessant "bad feelings" about the place to which I'm heading?"

Hmm, sounds familiar to me!

 

Ha - didn't even realize that I said Close-Quartered. Sorry, DarthIshtar! Guess that story was on the brain . . .

"But, it was so artistically done . . . " (Or something like that - don't have TLC on me at the moment. Whatever. Trying to sound intelligent never quite worked for me anyhow.

*KR*

 

Lol! I sat there blinking, imed two friends and went "I think I was just mocked. I'm so flattered!"

 

Ah, being mocked - the true mark of a celebrity on the JC boards . . .

*KR*

 

Is it? Good to know...

Some very funny stuff here, guys, and I'm only guilty of a few of them. Yay me!


*Derisa*

 

You find that you never get any free time. And whenever you do it's disrupted by some galaxy destroying problem... Which you are instrumental in solving.

 

...you've been killed by your creator(s), but your fans won't let you die! (ie. Boba Fett, Anakin Solo)

 

(i.e., Boba Fett)

He escaped! He... blasted his way out of that thing! He triumphed!

*clutches convulsively, then raises fist* Boba lives!!

*dissolves into helpless laughter*



For freedom. For justice. Viva la Rebellion.

 

ACtually Boba does live.

 

Great idea ophelia! This is hilarious!


*You are left hanging in a cliffie for a full month...

*Even though you've been tortured for months, you fear you have not yet seen the worst...(What is going through that authors mind!)

*You have a feeling that even though the author has been writing for 6 months about you, the true angst has only just begun!

 

-You're a Jedi in a secret relationship with a princess, and somehow manage to fly completely under the council's radar.

-...even though your padawan has had a crush on this particular princess since he was nine.

 

Thank you . . . and um, this is supposed to be *general* mockery, not aimed-at-any-one-person mockery, just for the record . . .

You have had a series of horrible nightmares which all come true. After much therapy, meditation, investigation, whatever, it is revealed that your sole hope of deliverance is sleeping with one particular person you do not normally associate with.

The powers of evil consider you the most dangerous person in the galaxy, and they are determined to destroy you, whatever the cost. And you're three. And living hidden among space pirates.

You've been known to curl up in your mentor's lap and have a good cry, and you're over 50. Or dead. Or both.

There are millions of people out there who love you so much that they want to see you tortured, maimed, emotionally scarred, kidnapped, murdered, and just generally traumatized, all for their warped personal enjoyment.

 

You find yourself stuck in the middle of a space battle for six weeks because somebody is having a really rough exam period.

muahaha... yes indeed.


--Even though you've barely spoken to someone before, and you've certainly never been great friends, you have a sneaky suspicion that, before long, you'll 'be together'

--you never worry about how you always seem to have the latest equipment and technology, usually military-grade (extra points if you're not only not part of the military, but actively fighting against it)

--Your eyes are never just green or blue, but 'emerald', or 'azure'

--You have contacts all over the galaxy, from every walk of life, for whatever purpose you need them

 

-- Your name has apostrophe (sp?) in the middle of it.
-- YOu are a card carrying member of a least criminal orginzations.
-- YOu have Boba Fett and Darth Vader on speed-dial
-- You have your own personally starship/starfighter despite the fact that you have zero cash in your backpockets.
-- You don't know what a duck is ;-)
-- You know who Yoda yes, despite not being a Jedi or ever haven been to Dagobah.
-- YOu carry/use a lightsaber despite the fact that you're not a Jedi knight or a Sith.
-- you've been a Sith turned Jedi, turned Sith again, turned back to Jedi, turned smuggler, turned Sith, turned...well you get the picture.