Beyond - Legends Some Things --Vader Babysits Lil' Mara {Humor} -- A/N 3/14

*bites lip and thinks*

Hmm... Maybe the moment they arrive on the Executor, Mara tries dash away from Vader, intent on exploring the 'pwetty big ship.' Vader could nab her with the Force just before she makes it out the door. He could float her back to where he is standing and place her right in front of his helmet. At that point, he could "calmly" proceed to lay down the ground rules, including that there will be no running while onboard his ship, she is not to touch anything, she is not to speak to any officer on duty, and she is not to interrupt him while he is working.

Of course, do such rules ever work on a six-year-old?

AQ

 

I'm expecting at least one temper tantrum, one "tugging on the cape" incident, and one "what is this button for?" incident.

EDIT: And a "you look funny" or "you breathe weird" one. Hey, she's only 6!

 

Maybe even a "I have to go to the bathroom" incident!

AQ

 

I'll confirm most of those happening at some point in the story. Most.

I'm in Irvine this weekend visiting family, though. While this means that I have plenty of six-year-old Mara inspiration running around in the form of my lil' cousins, it also means that next part is going to be... a bit later than right now...

 

This is starting out to be great!

I loved the part at the end when he said he had more important things to do...among which were polishing his helmet!

 

More soon please. I love the story keep it up.



Winter6 is UPing this fic

 

Wow, that was a great start. I'm sure hilarious hijinx will ensue now. Great work.

J_J

 

Brilliant! :

Slaughtering Jedi, for example. Tracking down Kenobi. Polishing my helmet.

Uncle Vader

ROTFL!

More! More!

Sabe126

 

You made me laugh

You Made me cry...because i was laughing so hard.


Can i call you Ani, that was just great. oh god, my side hurts.

ok any back to reality, i knew you could write humor, esspeicaly with M'Lord Vader.

and Mara at Six, this is going to be great.

can't wait of course are we going to be left in limbo like another story we all know and love *coughcomesthenightcough*

 

LadyPadme-- Merci, m'lady. And... well, Lord Vader kind of has my twisted sense of humor. [face_innocent] I'm at Gradpa's house with a cadre of little Mara inspirations running around... and boy oh boy I'd rather be polishing his helmet.

Winter-- Gracias.

Jedi_Johnson, aka Master-person-guy-- I'm sure hilarious hijinx will ensue now. Oh you bet... Thanks for checking 'er out, Sir!

Sabe126-- More soon. Eh... *checks AltaVista translating thing* Danke. (German)

yoda4982, aka High Lord Yoda-- *hands over a hankie*

It's related to Comes the Night, you know. *nods wisely* Mara was getting upset with me, you see, for killing her in that story, so I had to type up another story with her in it (this un') so that she would help me fight off the evil plot bunnies that are preventing me from writing more on that story.

I would have asked Luke, but he's upset with me for turning him to the darkside in that fic, and... well, most of the other characters are upset with me for a variety of little reasons. So, naturally, I turned to m'Lord Vader 'n' Lil' Mara Jade.

Yes, I'm insane and loving every minute of it.

 

Uncle Vader!?? LMAO!!!

Man, I would have loved to see his maskless face when he said that!! HAHA!

 

What do I think will happen? Hmmm, pretty much what's already been said... a "Can I touch it?" incident (not a button, maybe his lightsaber or helmet or something) or an "I'm hungry" incident... I'd get a kick out of a "Uncle Ani" like *snicker* or a "Do I have any cousins?"

Oh lordy, I re-read and it's funnier the second time through! LOL!

 

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is hillarious! I guess all the comments that I have have already been covered. Love the Uncle Vader, Grampa Sid, hahahahaha!

Hmmm, maybe a "I hafta go to the bathroom! Will you come with me?"

 

Yay! You gave me chocolate!

God bless!

<3-Moose

 

Oh my goodness! This is so funny! Can't wait for more!
~The Queen

 

Lieutenant_Page-- But it?s just so much more fun to imagine it. M?lord Vader is going to get quite a few more shocks, I?m afraid.

Jade_Max-- *grins* Thank you very much. Yes- humor is a nice thing. It balances out all the angst we know and love.

Malz4JESUS-- I love chocolate! I had two pieces of chocolate cake at lunch today (I?m in school on Veteran?s Day. ) because it was a friend?s birthday. I was bouncing off the walls and everything... *envisions a sugar-high Mara Jade... *

Here, have another piece o? chocolate?

JainaJediQueen-- Welcome aboard! Join the madness!



Ahem. Anywho-- if the world decides to cooperate with me, next chapter is going up later today. Lord Vader and Lil? Mara Jade leave the Imperial Palace and are on the way to the Executor...

Pity m'lord Vader, my friends...

 

*gets out the tea cups and prepares for Vader's arrival*

Perhaps I should get a straw for his tea. Hopefully this blend will keep him calm. He'll need it after putting up with a six-year-old.

Imagine what would have happened if he had both of his kids at this age. *smirks* It would have been just like this, all day, every day...



AQ

 

Just a friendly up for more humor!
~*~The Queen~*~

 

Just a friendly death threat!





*slowly begins to bring lightsaber around from back*


So . . . update soon?

 

??Bye, Grandpa Sid!? she called over her shoulder.

I nearly had a heart-attack at that.





::Falls Out Of Chair Laughing Butt off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::

 

lol must not laugh out loud fear of waking the house oh my stars looking forward to more

 

*runs in panting and waving a sheet of paper* Look! I have it! LOOK! A post! Sorry-- I'm bad with deadlines... And this isn?t exactly ?Haha!? funny like the last one... it?s more, ?Let?s embarrass the heck out of the Dark Lord!?

AngelQueen-- *accepts tea* Oh-- you meant the other Vader, didn?t you? I?ll take it for him, though... need the caffeine... I?ll get him a nice pot o? tea soon as he needs, it.

Imagine what would have happened if he had both of his kids at this age.

*sighs in exasperation* Do you know how many plot bunnies were just spawned from that comment??

JainaJediQueen-- Friendly ups are good. Thankee kindly!

obaona-- *raises an eyebrow at the lightsaber* You wouldn?t! Because without me you?d have to torture Obi and Xan on your own!

Estel_Kenobi-- *grabs a ice-compress* Here- for your rump.

JediFalcon-- Oh my house is sleeping, too...

= = = = =

I just stared at her for a long moment while she looked on, the hesitant smile still on her little features. Oh, Force, she?s serious, I thought to myself. ?Wh-where did you hear that?? I finally sputtered.

Stars, I didn?t know how long it had been since I last heard that name. And I didn?t especially want to think about it.

?Grandpa Sid calls you that,? she told me helpfully. ?He said that you sometimes let cute little girls call you Ani. Like me,? Mara added with a dimpled smile.

Stars. And people call me conceited? Just because they?re jealous and I'm the extremely powerful, amiable, friendly, agreeable, charming, mighty, comely, benevolent, beneficent, charitable, generous, humble, modest, amazingly handsome, and undeniably sexy Chosen One.

Stop laughing. It?s true.

?Call me Lord Vader,? I finally ordered. ?Lord Vader.?

Mara appeared to think about that for a moment before raising her head to look at me with those brilliant green eyes. ?Loud Vader? Why would you want me to call you that??

Sweet mother of the Force... ?Can you say ?Lord??? I asked almost pleadingly. ?Not ?loud?. ?Lord?.?

?Loud Vader,? she repeated, looking utterly confused.

?Stick with Uncle Vader, then.?

?Okay, Uncle Vader,? she responded brightly.

I nodded curtly and started walking. It took Mara quite a few steps to catch up to me, alternately running and walking a few paces.

The Imperial Palace, in its hey-day, was a magnificent structure of astounding proportions-- just like my Master?s ego, I suppose. It housed much of the Imperial court and the various sycophants that seemed to gravitate towards every central seat of power. All the

Speaking of whom...

?Hello, Lord Vader,? someone giggled from the shadows. (Why do they all giggle? Is it a female thing?)

I turned around, groaning silently to myself. Oh, please don?t let it be-- ?Good day,? I intoned gravely, nodding to the shameless courtesan.

She giggled again, stepping in and pressing her length against my body. Or tried to, at any rate. Pressing a nearly naked body against a suit of armor isn?t the most pleasant thing in the world. ?Why don?t you ditch Junior someplace quiet and we go have some fun?? she suggested, running a familiar hand down my chestplate.

?No,? I snapped, turning away. She pouted a bit, jutting out her lower lip and leaning forward, trying to show her... scantily-clad... features to the best advantage. ?Come along, Mara,? I ordered, turning away.

Mara quickly obliged, running after me as I swept away with the black cloak billowing behind. Melodramatic, perhaps, but lots of fun all the same.

?Uncle Vader??

?What??

?Why don?t you want to have fun?? she asked, sounding puzzled.

I stopped dead in my tracks. ?What???

?She asked if you wanted to have fun, and you said--?

?Oh that!? I interrupted quickly, feeling my face rapidly flare to the color of her hair. ?Well... erm... you see...?

= = = = =

An extremel

 

Hahahahahahah!

Stars. And people call me conceited? Just because they?re jealous and I'm the extremely powerful, amiable, friendly, agreeable, charming, mighty, comely, benevolent, beneficent, charitable, generous, humble, modest, amazingly handsome, and undeniably sexy Chosen One.

Stop laughing. It?s true.

HAHAHAHA! That has got to be my fave part of the whole piece! Priceless! Keep it up, I love it!

 

Favorite parts: She seemed to take great pleasure in shouting out ?Yippee!? among other things at odd random intervals.

I have grown to hate that word beyond all possible belief.

and

Mara appeared to think about that for a moment before raising her head to look at me with those brilliant green eyes. ?Loud Vader? Why would you want me to call you that??

Me =

 

*laugh* most *laugh* hysterical *laugh* parts:
?Grandpa Sid calls you that,? she told me helpfully. ?He said that you sometimes let cute little girls call you Ani. Like me,? Mara added with a dimpled smile.
Stars. And people call me conceited? Just because they?re jealous and I'm the extremely powerful, amiable, friendly, agreeable, charming, mighty, comely, benevolent, beneficent, charitable, generous, humble, modest, amazingly handsome, and undeniably sexy Chosen One.
(love the adjectives)
?Why don?t you want to have fun?? she asked, sounding puzzled.

I stopped dead in my tracks. ?What???

?She asked if you wanted to have fun, and you said--?
We received quite a few odd looks, but who really is going to question the Dark Lord?
I suddenly had the image of Mara, her face green as her eyes, hurling her lunch onto one of the instrument panels. Then, of course, the instruments would start sizzling and popping, the ship would lurch, and--

?You won?t.?

Why did I have such a bad feeling about this?
BY YUN-HARLA, THAT'S SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN WE HAVE MORE? I'D LIKE TO LAUGH HYSTERICALLY SOME MORE