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Saga - ST Something in Kylo Ren's shoe--A Millicent the Cat story--Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by gizkaspice, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    Blackie is not to be underestimated!! [face_hypnotized] What was Blackie doing wandering around?

    But Millicent. Millicent is still a mystery. Why was Millicent wandering around? Was she hunting ventilator rodents?

    :eek: Was Blackie and Millicent going to have a secret conference?! :eek:
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  2. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    I second PlanetSmasher's question. WHAT was Blackie doing wandering on her own? WHAT secret transmissions to the Resistance resulted from her escapade? HOW is the First Order going to survive that?

    At least now I know that I had a good reason to be on Blackie's side. #TeamBlackie #TeamResistance #TeamLightSide

    Oh, and this:
    [face_rofl] [face_rofl] [face_rofl]

    Sorry I missed an update by the way, I had a busy week – but now I'm back and waiting for Millicent's birthday!
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  3. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Leia as a sinister voice from the background, working together with Blackie.

    Kylo getting a pat from Hux.

    Gorgeous, simply gorgeous! =D=
    gizkaspice likes this.
  4. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Mistress_Renata thanks! Glad you liked it. Millicent's birthday is just purrrfect.
    PlanetSmasher Millicent definitely has her own Blackie...she's up to no good, probably looking for things to report to the Resistance.
    Chyntuck no worries about missing an update, glad you enjoy it!
    AzureAngel2 thanks! I'm sure Leia and Blackie will have many more moments working together

    Okay now onto Millicent's birthday party!

    Part 6


    On theStar Destroyer, the Finalizer, General Hux was making last-minute preparations. It had taken days to decorate the battlecruiser’s outside to look akin to that of a cat, one that resembled his beloved Millicent. The inside cat-like decorators were even more difficult to install.

    All his officers told him that this elaborate birthday celebration would be incredibly expensive and would probably drain the rest of the First Order’s budget. However, Hux reassured that Kylo Ren would cover the costs. He had found a blank cheque that belonged to Kylo Ren’s mother and wrote out a nice hefty sum to cover Millicent’s birthday party expenses. By the time the Resistance found out, the party would be over and nobody would possibly suspect him. Even the cat-shaped orange cake arrived on time. All was going well for darling Millicent.

    “Does everyone have enough napkins? I want a proper level of hygiene to be reinforced,” demanded Hux. He turned towards the young officer, Mitaka, spinning around in his office chair with a party hat. “Lieutenant Mitaka, what’s the status of the balloons?”

    “Completed, General!”

    “Captain Phasma, what’s the status on sightings of Kylo Ren?” asked Hux.

    “Negative, General,” she answered, setting her gift down on the table beside the huge mountain of gifts already present. “I’ve adjusted the security cameras to detect any presence of him in the vessel!”

    “Good, good,” complimented Hux as he played around with a large data pad that connected to the main screen projector in preparation of a slide-show presentation of cat images. “How do I get full screen? Anyone?”

    “You have to click on that little triangle in the corner, General,” said Chief officer Unamo. “You need some help?”

    “Just a second…I’m figuring this out,” muttered Hux, cruising his finger carefully on the interactive screen. “Little triangle… in the corner? This one?”

    “It’s the other triangle on the right-hand side. Here, let me just show you.” Unamo came up on stage and started working on the data pad. She displayed the slideshow in full screen. He nodded in thanks.

    The conversations in the background slowly ceased as he prepared for a speech. He had been rehearsing every single day to make sure it was perfect.

    “Ladies and gentlemen, today we celebrate Millicent’s second birthday. Two years ago on this day, the galaxy was sanctified by the birth of Millicent. Some of you whispered behind my back when I first brought a diminutive kitten, wrapped in a tawny blanket, but you were wrong! She has now captivated you all and demonstrated that her name’s meaning---Strength—is true to her character. We will now celebrate the supremacy of Millicent in all of her prominence as we wish her a happy birthday!”

    Most officers and stormtroopers cheered. Some crew members covered their ears from his excessive yelling. Everyone agreed, however, that once Millicent was revealed in all of her glory, they were certainly impressed by the cat’s beautifully groomed coat and large brown eyes. Her gaberwool collar had a blue and red bow on it and her fur shimmered like the stars outside.

    Millicent sat looking at all her admirers with great curiosity as they all sang her a happy birthday song: "Happy Birthday, Millicent!"

    "Millicent rules!"

    “I have assembled a slideshow of Millicent,” declared Hux after the cheering calmed down. “If anyone has to use the washroom, go now because I have 500 images and I won’t tolerate any disturbances. This…is your first and only warning.”

    Someone in the audience got up, followed by a few other people. He waited until they returned before starting on the first image which depicted Millicent as a tiny orange kitten.

    “Here is Millicent as a kitten--- observe the bow on her collar, which is identical to the one she is wearing now.”


    The screen flicked to review another image.

    “And here’s Millicent helping me with some work.”

    “Go Millicent! Smack those repair bills!” said someone in the audience.

    A stormtrooper cried out: “WHOOO! Hi, Millicent! We love you, birthday-girl!”

    The screen changed again.

    “Here’s Millicent just lying around on the control panels and not letting anyone work.”

    After 4 hours of this, half the audience was asleep, or perhaps pretended to be awake. Some of the more hard-core fans were still fully awake, but who knows how much caffeine they had that day. Or perhaps it was the excitement of seeing the famous Millicent up-close that fuelled them.

    “And here’s Millicent doing something cute again…Isn’t she just adorable? I certainly think so.”

    “Sir,” reported Phasma suddenly as she rushed towards Hux. “Kylo Ren has been spotted on the Finalizer!’

    Hux did not seem concerned by this as he walked toward the window, gazing at the starry scenery. “I knew he would arrive here, eventually. Rest assured, I have made preparations to deal with him…”

    While his back was still turned, some of the audience members made a run for it before the line-up at the washroom became too long.


    Somewhere outside of the party room, Kylo Ren was arguing with a teen officer. She was fair skinned with short brown hair and wore an officer’s cap. Her gray uniform looked recently ironed, suggesting that she was probably new.

    “What was your name again, sir? We don’t have you on the guest list.”

    “How can you not know who I am? It’s Kylo Ren!”

    The young officer looked over the list again. “Are you sure your name starts with a K, sir? We have a Cylo Ben on the guest list. Is that you?”

    “Who?!” Kylo Ren stared at the girl closely, his voice filter amplifying his snarling. “How much is Hux paying you to act stupid?”

    “I’m just following orders, sir,” she said, trying to keep her cool.

    “Good job, Belle,” announced General Hux as he approached the young officer with Captain Phasma from behind a side door. “Consider that scholarship from the Imperial Academy yours.”

    Belle bowed her head in respect, bid farewell and returned to the party upstairs.

    Kylo Ren heard this and spun around instantly to face them formally, his hands folded back as Blackie sat ominously on his helmet. “General Hux, I see you didn’t invite me to your stupid cat’s birthday party. I reckon you feared I would get angry the cake wasn’t shaped like Darth Vader and wreck everything.”

    “I took all necessary precautions,” replied Hux coldly, his face emotionless. “Milly’s contentment is of uttermost priority.”

    “I understand, General,” resumed Kylo Ren. “Your stupid cat is important to you. But my intention coming here wasn’t to wreck your stupid cat’s b-day party.” Ren took out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to him.

    “What’s this?” asked Hux.

    “A cheque written out in the amount of 50,000,000 credits by a certain Resistance leader, apparently. It’s of no use now; it’s all scratched up. I found it in my room. I guess your intention was to bankrupt them?”

    “Your….room?” Hux was certain he sent that cheque off this morning at Starkiller base’s financial office. This meant his plan was foiled and none of Millicent’s expenses were paid for by the Resistance. But how did it end up in Kylo Ren’s room?

    Blackie shifted her eyes suspiciously……

    Next time...what does FINN think of Millicent? It's actually pretty hilarious.
  5. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Whooo! #GoTeamBlackie!

    I am envisioning a Star Destroyer in the shape of an orange tabby cat... [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Finn vs. Millicent... well he used to be the janitor... sweeping up kitty litter tracked around the ship...
  6. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    [face_rofl] Oh dear... a four-hour slideshow of Millicent? I mean, I like Millie as much as the next stormtrooper, but four hours is a bit too much!

    And Blackie! You should make this story extend all the way to the end of the ST. The public needs to know that the real cause of the First Order's ultimate defeat was Blackie, not Rey and her Force antics.
    And this is where I get a plot bunny that Cadir Maneas ultimately joined the First Order and became head of the sanitation service when Finn was working there... [face_thinking]
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2023
  7. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    Uh, oh.... General Hux is gonna have a billing issue... Are the party suppliers gonna have to take him to People's Court to sue him before Judge Wapner?
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  8. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    I'm going to add the litter sweeping idea into the next chapter if you dont mind :)

    And it seems that's the plan! (I really had no initial intention to write so much about Millicent but it has been alot of fun)! And probably go into TLJ as well. Then there'll be Millicent AND Porgs. Yeah! Step aside, Rey, Blackie is the real hero here!

    He already has a pile of billing issues thanks to a certain man-child who throws tantrums. The party suppliers can try and sue him, but he'll probably just blame it on Ren. I'm convinced Hux's philosophy is along the lines of, "if there is disorder in the First Order, blame Kylo Ren. It's most likely his fault."
  9. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Ren took out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to him.

    “What’s this?” asked Hux.

    “A cheque written out in the amount of 50,000,000 credits by a certain Resistance leader, apparently. It’s of no use now; it’s all scratched up. I found it in my room. I guess your intention was to bankrupt them?”

    “Your….room?” Hux was certain he sent that cheque off this morning at Starkiller base’s financial office. This meant his plan was foiled and none of Millicent’s expenses were paid for by the Resistance. But how did it end up in Kylo Ren’s room?

    Blackie shifted her eyes suspiciously……

    That kitten is definitely dangerous. Since reading my first Garfield comic books in the 80ies I am highly suspicious of their lot. [face_thinking]
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  10. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    AzureAngel2 You're right! Kittens are the ones that are always suspicious..they look all cute and cuddly but are indeed very sneaky...

    And now, without further delay, the ultimate battle between Finn and Millicent that will decide the fate of the galaxy. Or something like that.

    Part 7: Finn vs Millicent

    Somewhere on Takodana, Finn woke up screaming from a terrible dream.

    Poe Dameron sat by his side, putting his hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, Finn?”

    Finn gasped, sweat dripping from his skin like a waterfall. “I had a terrible dream! I was back in the First Order and that cat was trying to kill me again!”

    “Cat?” asked Poe. “What cat? Whose cat?”

    Finn swallowed hard as he placed his hands on his soaked face, wiping the sweat away. It was traumatizing to even say the name. ".....Millicent....When I was part of the First Order, all my buddies loved her. She’s evil, man! She might give you stuff like cat scratch fever or something! Or you might need a tetanus shot! All this pretending to be cute and cuddly….It’s an act, man! She wants to rule the galaxy!”

    Poe motioned with his hands to calm him down. “Whoa, whoa, whoa…. Whoa…. Whooooaaaaa….. They have cats in the First Order?”

    “Yeah, man! That cat’s a terror! Bro, I had a terrible encounter with her….. She never forgave me after what I did….I was minding my own business on the Finalizer when suddenly............….”

    Meorrrwwwww!” came Millicent’s pained screech from underneath his boot.

    Finn, or FN-2187, realized he had stepped on the very tip of her tail while on duty cleaning her litter tracking in one of the corridors. He was sure he didn’t hurt her, but he managed to rip off a few of her ginger hairs. He always found that cat weird---like, why was she the colour of Hux’s hair? Did he have a superiority complex or something?

    He took off his helmet and looked down at the frightened ginger tabby. “Whoa! Sorry, Milly! I didn’t see you! I’m really sorry!”

    Millicent hissed, bearing her fangs at him as she groomed her tail back to perfection.

    Finn kneeled down in an attempt to pet her and gain her forgiveness. “I’m sorry, Milly!”

    Millicent hissed louder, raising her paw. With a single calculated swipe of her untrimmed claws, she scratched the stormtrooper’s face.

    Finn fell back, holding his cheek as warm blood ran down his fingers. He glared at her. “Damn cat! I hate you!”

    The feline flattened her ears and hissed. His words infuriated her further as she swiped him with her claws again and then ran off into the corridor, grumbling and growling.

    When Finn arrived at his shared quarters, he turned around and saw Millicent on his bed. Somehow, she must have memorized the entire route of the ventilation shafts on the Finalizer because she knew exactly where his room was located. His bed sheets were shredded. There was even a poodoo surprise in his cabinets! She jumped back into the ventilation shaft from whence she came like a ginger shadow.

    Finn screamed into the ventilation shaft. “Why do you hate me so much?!!!”

    Then, the next day in the washroom, Finn was washing his hands and saw Millicent peeking out from a hole in the ceiling, glaring at him and growling. She disappeared back into the hole just as fast as she appeared. He shifted his eyes and then slowly backed away towards the exit. “…..Awkwarrrrd…….”

    Later at lunch time, he decided to ask his stormtrooper buddies what they thought about Millicent. Perhaps they could ease his questions about why she hated him so much.

    “Millicent rules!”

    “She kind of smells funny.”

    “You mean General Hux’s wife?”

    “He’s married?”

    “Sure is….to his cat!”

    “BOOYAH!” The stormtroopers high-fived each other. Finn decided not to participate as he eyed the security cameras in the corner of the room.

    Indeed, General Hux was reviewing the security footage at that very moment on the Finalizer’s bridge. His curled his lips in fury. “Fire them. Fire them all and then eject them into the sun!”

    “A bit excessive, don’t you think, General?” commented Kylo Ren. “They just made a funny joke. You’re way too sensitive.”

    “You know what’s a funny joke, Ren?”



    Some officers nearby whispered as they overheard the conversation: “Ooooohh….snap!”

    Anyways, Finn knew that if he wanted answers, he would need to go to the source directly and that meant finally gaining the courage to approach General Hux on the bridge aboard the Finalizer.

    Finn breathed deeply as he approached. “General, sir…I… I need to talk about Millicent.”

    “What’s wrong with Millicent?” asked Hux, slightly worried internally but showing no worry on his pale face.

    “Sir, she’s trying to kill me. I know she’s trying to kill me. I’m scared and I---“

    “You must be incoherent,” said Hux blankly. “The only things Millicent kills are the rodents in the ventilation shafts.”

    Finn shook his head, his hands quivering. “No, sir. She tried to kill me because----“ he paused, biting his lips. He couldn’t dare tell Hux that he accidentally stepped on her tail. “Uh….I.. must have hurt her feelings somehow I guess,” he said finally in hesitation.

    General Hux took slow and deliberate steps towards him. The young officer was usually not really that intimidating due to his age and physique, but if anything happened to dearest Milly he could almost instantly became more terrifying than Kylo Ren. He glowered at the stormtrooper, his cold eyes piercing through Finn’s helmet. “You…hurt…. little Milly’s feelings? Are you aware of the farcical mistake you have made? A cat never forgives once you have hurt its feelings and…neither do I.”

    Finn gulped, knowing he probably needed some fresh underwear by now. Finn was amazed on the enormous amount of attention the General placed on his tabby cat. He was pretty convinced Hux had probably been a cat in a previous lifetime. Finn also realized that complaining about Millicent was probably a really stupid idea. Idiot, idiot, idiot, thought Finn, slapping his helmet.

    “What’s your number?” demanded Hux.


    General Hux took out his communicator device and dialed Phasma. “Captain, do you have a FN-2181 in your training group? He has just confessed that he hurt Millicent’s feelings.”

    Finn heard a loud and long “gasp” coming from Captain Phasma’s side.

    “Yes, I absolutely agree. It’s terrible and it has ruined my day,” continued General Hux. “Such treachery cannot be tolerated in the First Order.” There was a small pause in the conversation and then: “Your morning coffee can wait, Captain! This is urgent!”

    Finn shifted his eyes under his helmet and tiptoed away while Hux was still distracted talking with the Captain. He remembered never having to run so fast in his life before as he did that day….

    That afternoon, Finn was cleaning mud off of a TIE fighter in the main hanger bay when that cat appeared out of nowhere, staring at him with those ruthless brown eyes.

    Finn held his mop close and loaded it as though loading a blaster. “Back off, cat! I have a mop…..”

    Millicent growled and inched closer. Finn tossed the mop at her, but she shredded it in mid-air before running after him. She jumped and latched onto his helmet in an attempt to pierce her claws into him.

    After a brief struggle, Finn was finally able to grab the cat by the scruff and carry her towards the nearest airlock. He flung the orange cat inside and locked the door. “Time to blast your furry little ass into hyperspace!”

    Just as he was about to press the eject button, Captain Phasma walked in on this. “Why is Millicent in the airlock, FN-2187?”

    “Uhh ..…uhh….airlock? Millicent?” Finn quickly released the cat. “Someone put her in the airlock it seems, ma’am. I found her like this and saved her!”

    “Excellent, FN-2187,” said Phasma, nodding. “It must’ve been FN-2181. I’m still on the lookout for him. You must’ve heard that he hurt Millicent’s feelings. You know how General Hux is about his cat.”

    “Sure do, ma’am,” said Finn, watching as she turned down the corridor. He breathed out a sigh. “That Phasma is one scary lady…” He looked down at Millicent beside him. “But not as scary as you, evil cat!”

    Millicent growled and attached onto his leg, piercing her teeth into his foot armour.


    The terrible meows of Millicent still echoed in his mind. “I hate that cat, bro,” Finn told Poe as he sobbed onto his shoulder. “She’s scary!”

    Poe stroked his back as he embraced the ex-stormtrooper and held him against his chest. He whispered quietly to ease his fear. “Shhh. It’s alright, Finn. The cat won’t get you here. Shhhh. Calm down, bro. It’s alright. There are no cats here.”

    Finn sniffled, wiping away tears. “Thanks, man. I feel a bit better.” He looked up at the night sky. The stars were gleaming up above. Somewhere out there, he knew Millicent was watching him, waiting for him…..A shiver ran down his spine as he curled up into a tight ball and sobbed quietly.

    Next time....What does Millicent think of everyone? A bit of a cat's perspective.
  11. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Dec 21, 2016
    [face_rofl] OMG! ROTFLMAO!
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  12. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    The evil is palpable. Millicent's true nature revealed! It gave me shivers.... And I had a good couple of laughs, too. The most perplexing thing I found, however, is that there was mud on a TIE fighter.....

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  13. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Force Ghost star 7

    Oct 3, 2016
    This is such a funny story... :)
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  14. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Welllll....let's see... Finn crashed his TIE fighter on that TIE fighter had sand on it....So.....This one crashed into mud it has mud on it. Either that or someone splashed mud on it to give Finn more work.

    Yeah...that's it. That's totally why. *shifts eyes suspiciously*

    Thank you! Glad you like it :D
  15. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh] The REAL reason Finn wanted to escape the First Order!

    Poe: "Why are you doing this?"
    Finn: "Because it's the right thing to do!"
    Poe: "...You need a pilot."
    Finn: "I need a pilot."
    Poe: "You got one!"
    Finn: "Great!...Uh, do you have a cat?"
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  16. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014

    I'm beginning to suspect that Milly is a Sith. Or a Knight of Ren. "Always two there are", so the apprentice must be somewhere.

    Now I want to see Millicent intervene during Finn's infiltration of Starkiller base at the end of TFA. Maybe she was the one who saved Phasma from the trash compactor?
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  17. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Force Ghost star 7

    Oct 3, 2016
    More importantly, does she like Phasma?
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  18. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks to Millicent, Finn is now traumatized by cats or even the mention of cats--which will make it interesting when....
    Blackie eventually reunites with the Resistence! :D

    Well, Millicent was adopted so who knows what her actual history is or where she comes from... you may be onto something there...

    Actually, I didn't plan to have Millicent on Starkiller base but since there's a Finn chapter, they just have to meet again in battle, am I right?

    Yes and no. The answer to which will be revealed in the next chapter! :D
  19. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    *brings gif to gizkaspice's thread and tiptoes away*

  20. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Chyntuck LOL you have no idea how long I've been looking for a "Kylo Ren + his cat" meme thing!

    This is a bit of a weird chapter because Millicent sees everyone as a cat and knows everyone's deepest secrets. I am also convinced she's some kind of a Sith.

    Part 8: From a Millicent's Point of View

    Back on Starkiller base, Millicent looked out from the large window from General Hux’s private quarters, her brown eyes piercing into the snowy landscape and the high mountains. She walked towards the door and mewed to have it opened, but she forgot he had left some time ago.

    Millicent regarded Hux as “her cat” because he did nice things like feed her and play with her. He understood all her distinctive calls and responded to them correctly. She considered him very useful for her purposes in this way. Hux would often say he wanted to rule the galaxy and become emperor because he was sure this was his destiny, but Millicent knew it was actually her destiny to rule the galaxy. He was just supposed to shut up and be obedient.

    Millicent knew that her cat’s name was actually Armitage, which she considered a very appropriate cat name. Because he was an orange cat like her, she believed orange cats were superior to all other cats.

    Millicent also had a responsibility to deter any potential bothersome female officers. This was because Armitage said that women were a distraction and he was more interested in important things, like destroying the Republic and ordering expensive cat furniture. One time there was an obsessive officer who kept bugging him, but Millicent bit her and she needed a tetanus shot and a lot of stitches. She was never heard from again.

    Armitage was a very honest cat to hang around with because he would share all his secrets with her. For instance, he had told her that he never knew his mother. That was very odd for Millicent---every cat should know its mother. He only knew that she had worked in a kitchen, but Millicent knew that kitchens were dangerous places for cats.

    Another time, he told her that he always wanted a cat friend as a kitten but his father, Brendol Hux, would beat the idea out of his head. This was because his father thought cats were weak-willed and useless just like his kitten, Armitage.

    Millicent sensed that he was frequently under stress and required her comfort. He would often cuddle her and say things like, Milly, all I ever wanted was a cat—something soft and cuddly that would love me and never make judgements—something like you, Milly. This is why you’re so important to me.”

    This made Millicent feel special because he only said that to her and was mean to everyone else. She liked him that way and would look up at him as she sat on his lap with the greatest love and affection for him in her eyes.

    But now, Millicent decided to explore and she jumped onto the control panel that opened the door to the room and scuttled off.

    She walked into the corridor and looked around as everyone was busy walking back and forth. Her ears perked as she saw Captain Phasma walk toward her. She regarded Phasma as “the metal cat.”

    “Millicent, what are you doing here alone?” asked Phasma as she picked up the cat.

    Millicent usually didn’t like it when this metal cat picked her up because she saw another orange cat in Phasma’s armour and became angry. Phasma would tell her that this was only her reflection, but Millicent didn’t believe her. She was sure this was another orange cat—a competitor that had to be destroyed.

    “OK. Stop going crazy and scratching my armour,” said Phasma, setting the cat down.

    Millicent ran away from the metal cat and the other orange cat that lived in her armour. She looked back and the metal cat left. Millicent felt sad that she had hurt metal cat’s feelings. Metal cat was overall a nice cat especially because she secretly liked her cat, Armitage, but refused to admit and tell him. This was because the metal cat feared Armitage would get angry; he was already upset that she was 6 inches taller than him.

    She suddenly looked up at the stormtroopers who began crowding around her and petting her.

    “Check it out, guys, Hux let his cat out again!”

    “Millicent rules!”

    “Milly, do something cute!”

    “Hey guys, let’s take a selfie with Millicent!”

    Millicent looked up at the stormtroopers, who she referred as to “plastic white cats.” They really liked her and gave her a lot of attention. She loved the attention because a true cat was full of itself, just like her cat, Armitage.

    Only she knew the identity of the plastic white cat who kept saying, ‘Millicent rules!’ This was actually FG-5622. He was a nice cat, but a bit obsessed. She went to his room once and saw her photos collaged all over the walls. He also faithfully subscribed to her monthly newsletters, ‘The General’s Cat’ and ‘Starkiller Feline.’

    “Millicent rules!” repeated FG-5622 as he pet her. She had never really heard him say anything else but that. This was odd because cats made other sounds too—she suspected maybe he wasn’t really a cat under that helmet.

    “What’s going on here?” came Kylo Ren’s sudden deep voice from behind them as Blackie sat on his helmet firmly.

    “Oh…uh…hi, sir. We’re just petting Millicent and---“

    Kylo Ren glared at them. “How come you guys never wanna pet Blackie? What’s so special about Millicent?”

    “Who the hell is Blackie?” asked a stormtrooper from the group.

    Kylo Ren pointed to the black kitten on his helmet. “Blackie. I told everyone about her the other day! What’s wrong with you!?”

    Millicent looked up at Kylo Ren. She regarded him as “the angry cat” because he would scare her by being loud and destructive. In revenge, she would do poodoo in his shoes or bite his nose. Once, he tried putting Millicent into an airlock to eject her into space---this wasn’t the first time someone tried to do that. Another time, the angry cat locked her in the janitor’s room for a few hours but she ate a tasty spider there so it wasn’t all that bad.

    But when she was a kitten, she enjoyed hiding in angry cat’s weird melted black mask but once she went too far and he got really mad at her forever........

    “It’s been a long time since we last talked, Grandfather,” whispered Kylo Ren to the deformed mask of Darth Vader as he sat across from it. “Today, I wrote a poem for you. Would you like to hear it? It’s about you, Grandfather……being awesome.”

    The mask seemed to move, eyes seemed to appear out of it….

    Kylo Ren took off his helmet, looking closely at the deformed mask. “Grandfather, are you…. trying to tell me something? Tell me, Grandfather…”

    Little kitten Millicent popped out of the mask through the huge deformed eyehole and bit his nose. Then she ran out of the room.

    Kylo Ren held his nose, grousing in pain as he screamed: “I HATE YOU, CAT!”

    Angry cat was so mad at her that day, that he even went to his social media account and posted it all across the First Order’s Holonet network to gain everyone’s sympathy:

    Kylo Ren posted on his timeline: General Armitage Hux’s stupid kitten bit my nose today. Now it hurts and is a bit red. Kinda worried at this point. Gonna have to wear my helmet more often…so embarrassing.

    Captain Phasma says: I wish you a full recovery, sir!

    Kylo Ren “likes” this post and replies with: Thanks, Captain Phasma! It’s a bit better now!

    General Armitage Hux says: LOL she got you.

    Kylo Ren replies with: soulless ginger….

    General Armitage Hux replies with: piss off, Ren. You’re just jealous I have a cat and you don’t

    Kylo Ren replies with: ok maybe that is kind of true….

    SomeRandomStormTrooper says: Millicent rules!

    Kylo Ren replies with: NO SHE DOESN’T

    General Leia Organa-Solo says: Some antibiotic ointment may help. Cat bites can be dangerous. Take care, Ben. Try to be less evil sometimes. We miss you.

    Kylo Ren replies with: ok thx mom! no promises though…

    Han Solo says: lol even the cat hates you BEN

    Kylo Ren replies with: ITS KYLO REN DAD. okay mom dad gonna have to unfriend you now this is my work account sorry bye >: (

    Millicent didn’t know very much about technology or computers so she didn’t understand all the text on the screen. But she knew it was from that day that angry cat really started hating her.

    She looked up at the black kitten on his helmet. Millicent knew this was Blackie, but Blackie was not actually a “she” but a “he.” Millicent knew this was true because she had sniffed him, but angry cat knew nothing about cats. Millicent didn’t trust Blackie—he was suspicious and shifted his eyes back and forth whenever something happened in the First Order. He smelled like a traitor….but who would believe her when she couldn’t talk?

    “You sure that’s a cat? Kind of looks like a rat or a possum.”

    “You guys don’t talk crap about Blackie,” warned Kylo Ren as he ignited his lightsaber. The stormtroopers backed away slowly and then returned to their positions.

    Ren finally looked down at Millicent. “What are you looking at, you orange freak?”

    Millicent arched her back and hissed at him. Blackie jumped down from his helmet and hissed at her. The orange feline bopped the kitten on the head with her paw, making the kitten tumble over.

    “That’s it…I’m getting rid of you,” barked Kylo Ren as he grabbed the orange cat by the scruff and walked towards the trash compactor.

    “Release Millicent immediately, Ren!”

    Kylo Ren turned, seeing Hux right behind him. “Oh great. The cat-whisperer guy is here,” he muttered to himself. “Why should I release her? She hit my cat. It’s payback time.”

    General Hux shoved the paper copy of the First Order manual and guidelines into his face. “Sector 190th, paragraph second: No harm shall come to Millicent in any form, psychological or physical, least the perpetrator wants a punishment from the Supreme Leader.”

    “What the hell, Hux? You just wrote that now! Look, the ink is still wet!”

    “Perhaps you’d like to discuss this new bylaw with the Supreme Leader?” warned Hux.

    “Fine,” mumbled Kylo Ren, dropping the feline to the ground. He glared down at her. There was something about her that he sensed. It was as though she was trying to invade his mind. He shrugged the feeling off and walked away with Blackie. “Stupid cat.”

    Millicent returned back to Hux and waited for him to pick her up—this was an order and he knew that. She gave her thanks with a slow wink. She was sure that, being a cat, he would understand what that meant.

    Next time.... A meeting with the Supreme Leader... will Blackie's plans be revealed!?
  21. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Too, too fabulous! One of your best yet, I think. So much to love here... Kylo Ren's chat on the timeline, Millicent's relationship with Phasma, the strange obsession of FG-5622... I'd be a little worried about him, if I were Hux. Especially if he has a ginger-tabby faux fur sleeper...

    And this:
    Seriously, you took a quickie plot bunny that was a goof from Pablo Hidalgo on Twitter and spun this wonderful, wacky tale of intrigues within the First Order... =D==D=

    Just so much to love about all this. Of course, now when I'm watchin TLJ, I'll be looking in the background to see if I spot an orange furball lounging on a couch...
  22. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    I'm surprised Ren didn't get all embarrassed or angry that his mom and chimed in on his "work" social network. "Mom! Dad! How did you get access to Starkiller Mugbook?!" But I got a good laugh when he "unfriended" them. LOL
  23. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Oh, as a cat owner, let me throw in a bunny... getting Millie to take her pill!
  24. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    I was a bit unsure how this chapter would be perceived since it's mostly from Milly's perspective, but glad you liked it! I think FG-5622 is already on the radar....I mean, it's great to like Millicent and all but being obsessed is just a little weird......

    I'm surprised myself how this whole Millicent story unfolded and where it's going. There's just something captivating about the idea of Hux having a cat that it just totally makes sense! It's literally the best SW idea ever and needs to be on the big screen or at least in the deleted scenes LOL

    I feel like maybe a part of Ren still loves his mother in some way---we don't really get a sense of what he thinks of Leia and when you consider that in the TLJ trailer
    he hesitates to pull the trigger, I would say that he still feels a connection to her.
    So, I wanted to play on that a bit. For instance, it's totally okay for Leia to call him "Ben" but if Han does it, he just goes berserk and unfriends them immediately. Not sure if that makes any sense.

    Thanks! Guess that vet chapter I was debating whether to include or not will be included after all :D
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  25. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    Whoo! [face_relieved] Close call! I stopped reading your reply at "TLJ," realizing there was a possible spoiler after that. [face_shhh]

    I make it a point not to watch SW trailers, interviews, TV commercials selling merchandise, etc. All of those are possible sources of spoilers. I'm not like this about other movies, just Star Wars movies. Obsessive, I know. [face_laugh]