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Saga - ST Something in Kylo Ren's shoe--A Millicent the Cat story--Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by gizkaspice, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    I've been meaning to reply to this; I read it days ago... so good! Just so good! I knew that's what those rolling white droids were in TLJ! :D

    They can send him back, but there is no way they'd get a refund!
    Ha, ha, ha! [face_laugh] Kylo, sweetie, seriously...? The Resistance is looking more and more likely to win. And poor FG-5622 needs an extraction! He and Finn can start a support group...
    True, a cat would be what you'd expect to accidentally find in a box! LOL! "Dear General Hux: The Fabulous Feline Comforts Company regrets to inform you that we are unable to issue a refund for the peculiar young man who was enclosed in your last order..."
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
  2. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    @Ridley Solo Now imagine what they’ll do to him once he becomes supreme leader…….
    @Nehru_Amidala Maybe!
    @PlanetSmasher Hello again and thank you for your comment! I need to catch up on some reading too. Since this story is not an AU, Kylo killing Han kind of still had to happen, sorry! Glad you like it, though.

    Only she can get away with calling him that……. ;) :p
    Also, Millicent rules! guy should probably have his own spinoff, am I right?

    I totally took inspiration from your post in the TLJ thread! :p

    Okay then, here is the next installment before DRL takes over again.

    Chapter 19: Millicent’s ship

    Captain Edrison Peavey bitterly observed the children aboard the Finalizer. An Imperial veteran of the past, he was under the command of a general half his age who seemed obsessed with spoiling his cat with the latest contemporary cat furniture despite the beast preferring a cardboard box. As a high-ranking feline of her class, she had her own custom-made uniform that matched his own and she seemed to actually like wearing it. Millicent even had rooms reserved just for her, including a room where all her portraits were publicly displayed.

    He didn’t fancy that cat at all, especially when he kept finding squeaky mouse toys and litter tracking in the corridors. There were many instances when he found surprises in his shoe and he certainly didn’t like that. Complaining to Armitage was useless because he believed Millicent was allowed to do whatever she wanted, which only confirmed that the cat was in charge.

    Peavey saw Armitage conspiring with Phasma again in the corner of the bridge, which was always bad news. They were close friends, or best friends forever as they called themselves, and they used their cats to get rid of potential rivals. "Do you see her?" whispered Armitage to Phasma, motioning with his eyes towards a slightly older looking woman chatting with a group of officers across the bridge. "Captain Anga, past assistant to my father. I heard her threaten to throw Millicent into the airlock. A cat hater."

    "No worries, Armie," she whispered back. "I'll have Tinny wipe her filth from the First Order. Nobody ever suspects the kitten."

    Then there was Phasma’s silver kitten, Tinny. That kitten was just as bad as Millicent and would purposely urinate on people she didn’t like. Peavey even found her scheming with the ginger tabby and accessing holographic data systems. He understood that the kitten substituted Phasma sometimes for stormtrooper training sessions, and who knows what those poor soldiers had to endure under command of that cat. She was watching him now..... shifting her eyes suspiciously....

    And while they were busy watching the cats dance and sing to the tone of the Imperial March, Peavey watched a fellow veteran getting yelled at for cleaning ginger cat hair off his chair.

    Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,” came Unamo’s voice from below deck as she gazed towards Officer Kena. “What do you think you’re doing?”

    “Trying to sit?” replied the man. It was his first day aboard the Finalizer.

    “Can’t do that,” said Lieutenant Mitaka as he looked over from his station. “Once Millicent claims your chair, you need to get a new one.”

    “Pardon me? I need a new chair now because of some silly cat? How do you people work around here?”

    “Listen, don’t go around talking behind Millicent’s back. Hux will get her to leave a surprise in your shoe,” warned Unamo.

    Officer Kena stared in disbelief. “Surprise… in my shoe?”

    “Cat poop. Cat poop will be in your shoe and you won’t like it,” clarified Mitaka and cringed.

    Peavey watched as Millicent and Tinny were standing on their hind legs and meowing. Tinny watched her role model, and copied the orange cat's motions as she mewed in a tiny voice. That kitten was going to be bad news if she was so loyal to Millicent, he thought.

    Just then, Kylo Ren slid into the bridge in his socks upon hearing the Darth Vader theme sung by the cats. "Someone mailed me to some funky cat tree factory and then I peed my pants. You guys know anything about this? Kinda suspicious...."

    "No, sir," said Phasma smoothly.

    "We have no idea what you're talking about, Ren," clarified Hux.

    Suddenly, a mouse droid was squealing away in terror as Millicent began chasing it around the bridge. The armored kitty soon joined in and the two of them sat on it as it was trying to escape. It wasn't long before Tinny shredded the poor mouse droid into pieces and her master, Millicent, nodded in approval.

    Captain Peavey watched the drama unfold on the bridge and sighed. He walked over to a nearby window and stared into space as he whispered, “long live the Emperor.”

    Back on D'Qar, Blackie was looking through some holographic images of him and Kylo. He had taken a series of silly selfies of Blackie and himself nibbling on poptarts while riding together on a sled down a snowy hill outside Starkiller base.

    "Oh no! Happy meows, Blackie, happy meows!" reassured Poe as he saw the sad kitten in the corner. He then noticed BB-8 beeping sadly as well. "Happy beeps, buddy!" The droid and black kitten soon followed Poe out of the room. It was time for Blackie's kitty piloting lessons in preparation for war.

    Next time……. A cat fight of the non-feline type...
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
  3. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Force Ghost star 7

    Oct 3, 2016
    This was cute, but really Kylo? Your too old to be saying that out loud! EWWW!
  4. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    A culture clash between Millicent fans and non-fans! Millicent, with the aid of her new apprentice is quickly consolidating her rule over the new crew...

    And is Kylo really ONLY wearing socks? That's not what I want to think that you meant....
  5. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013 would assume the individual at least has their underwear on also....LOL but, hopefully it's more clear now.
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
  6. NobodyIX

    NobodyIX Jedi Padawan star 1

    Feb 19, 2018
    'P.S. Blackie is better' [face_laugh] I've just started reading the first section and smiling from ear to ear.

    No, no, no! [face_laugh]
    Millicent! Blackie! The universe is not safe! OK, be back soon.:D
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  7. NobodyIX

    NobodyIX Jedi Padawan star 1

    Feb 19, 2018
    Parts II and III- :D

    [face_laugh] Millicent is so magnificent and I love the paintings General Hux has commissioned!
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  8. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Poor little mouse droid! I have a soft spot for mouse droids. Millicent and Tinny are going to get it from me!

    It was good fun seeing the cats through Captain Peavey's POV. Nice callback to Captain Canady in TLJ who seems equally outraged by the First Order's incompetence!

    And Blackie =(( He's such a kind little soul, missing Kylo even after all the trauma he sustained. It looks like he might have found a soulmate in BB-8 though :D And now, he's going to be a pilot?!?
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  9. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Oh, this was nice. The First Order will certainly be taken down from within, at this point!

    Yes. If you pay money for it, they completely ignore it. Kylo Ren stole a wonderful cat cottage; I am sure he will not be forgiven.
    Oh, lord, this is too true to be funny! (almost)
    Hm... shifty eyes was a characteristic of Blackie, in fact... could Tinny be suborned?
    Ha! They'll be lucky if that's ALL that happens to them!
    It's on the floor & moving, OBVIOUSLY it's a cat toy!
    I'm not sure the Resistance will need to worry about recruits at this rate.
    This was rather sweet. Even though Blackie is on the other side, some part of him still loves Kylo and wants to bring him back to the light. That may be too tall an order for one humble kitty, though...

    It's another winning entry, @gizkaspice, and it is rather fun to watch a growing Resistance from within the First Order! Can't wait to see where you take this from here... Poor Captain Peavy.
    AzureAngel2, Chyntuck and gizkaspice like this.
  10. NobodyIX

    NobodyIX Jedi Padawan star 1

    Feb 19, 2018
    Just dropping by, I'm on part 11! Millicent's Birthday was wonderful! 500 pics to watch and a one time only to use the bathroom before it starts! [face_laugh] And Snoke...Hux had to read and watch caring for kitten books before he got his Millicent. Haha! I wasn't expecting that. And Kylo...[face_love]..he's got blackie his black cool cat, like darth vader cat, however maybe not as evil as he'd like to think. (Mom's are great!) And telling the soldiers that the Rebellion is bad because they leave their cats out in the rain. You've got me convinced the Resistance is evil. [face_laugh] I think you've got the First Order down to a tee. :D

    Had to let you know how much I'm enjoying this. And...Millicent Rules!
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  11. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    I'm caught up with this now—what a fun, clever romp! Millicent does, rule indeed! :D So many fun things here: the different cats' personalities, their little rivalries that mirror their human beings' rivalries, the ways their human beings spoil them (especially the way Hux spoils Millicent, with all her own personal rooms with her portraits all over them—plus of course her birthday slide show), the way each is kind of a miniature version of his or her human being (but also not, as we see with Blackie's little career as a double agent—that medal was very well deserved). I could hear all the characters' voices clearly as I read this—all their remarks on the various feline shenanigans fit right in with the ST's brand of humor somehow. And a big congratulations on all the nominations this story has received; they're all very well deserved! =D=
    gizkaspice and AzureAngel2 like this.
  12. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Oh yes, please! Because when I do cats they look sort of weird...

  13. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    AzureAngel2 and Findswoman like this.
  14. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
  15. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
  16. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Dec 21, 2016
    It's Millicent!
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  17. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Force Ghost star 7

    Oct 3, 2016
    I think she wants to know where her liver treats are.
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  18. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Sorry for kind of neglecting this story-- been pretty busy and such. Thank you for reading though! [:D]
    Some replies first......
    no worries! The mouse droid was repaired! All further mouse droids are now equipped with anti-cat devices! Blackie will be a pilot-- the best cat pilot ever! BB-8 and him are also buds. This needs to be a side story.

    Foreshadowing!? [face_hypnotized]

    @NobodyIX Thanks for liking the story and your kind comments. Millicent is the poster cat for the First Order. Millicent rules indeed!

    @Findswoman Thanks for your kind comment, Finds! You have great attention to detail-- pretty much all that is spot on to what I was trying to convey. I try my best to keep all the characters in character as best I can, and fit with the ST somewhat , so I'm glad this came through.:)

    @AzureAngel2 That's such a beautiful semi-Blackie! @};-[face_love] Draw more cats!

    @Mistress_Renata And that's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of's crazy out there. Disney should give Millicent her own novel.

    Thanks again for all your comments and readings! Next chapter is up....someone from Ch. 10 just doesn't get the point....

    Chapter 20: Cat Fight

    "This is General Hux of the First Order. I'm inquiring about Millicent's ordered cat tree tower--- the multi-leveled one with the swirly things. Yes, her name is Millicent Hux. She's a two year old domestic ginger tabby. Please redirect the order to my ship, the Finalizer."

    Just as he finished the transmission, Captain Phasma walked into his office with Tinny the armored kitty. "You bet Kylo Ren would never find his way back and I told you he would. Now you owe me the datapad with the cat collecting game, cat boy."

    "Ah, Phasma," said Hux as he stood up and led her towards the big chair. "Great timing! Please take over."

    She sat in the chair reluctantly while Tinny stole an eraser and sharpened her claws on the expensive blue sofa. "Listen, this secretary thing is getting boring and---"

    "No, no," he reassured as he made his way out. "You're doing an excellent job. The paperclips couldn't be more organized and your ability to ruthlessly fire employees is impressive."

    Captain Phasma watched him leave before she picked up his datapad with the cat collecting game. This was her datapad now considering that he lost the bet after they mailed Kylo to that cat tree factory on Cantonica.

    Suddenly, Officer Mott Kena walked into the office. “General H—“ he paused, seeing the chrome storm trooper Captain at the chair instead. “Oh, my. Captain Phasma, you’re the secretary?”

    “Please address me as Ms. P, sir,” warned Phasma as she folded her hands together on the desk. “Keep this brief. I am quite busy.”

    Officer Kena glanced away quickly from accidentally spotting the activated datapad with the running cat game on. “Well, Ms. P., you see, I require a new chair for my station because Millicent claimed mine.”

    “I don’t work in the chair department, sir,” she said. “You will have to be chairless until I contact the appropriate facility.”

    “I see, ma’am,” he replied timidly. Behind that chrome helmet, he had no way of knowing whether she was mocking him or not. There was also that dangerous kitten of hers that was glaring at him for no reason.

    Suddenly, a purple haired woman appeared at the doorway. “Hello, I believe I’m late for an interview with General Hux. For the position of…. Returning Lieutenant?”

    Phasma stood up from her chair and set her blaster from stun to kill. “Lieutenant Alia Ro. So good to have you back.”

    The woman shifted her eyes suspiciously and guessed that the purple-colored hair wasn’t enough to fool anyone. “Uh….. I don’t know who you’re talking about. And why are you the secretary?”

    “You have some nerve coming back thinking you can work here,” barked Phasma. “A shame Millicent didn’t kill you.”

    “Listen, you iron bitch,” snapped Ro as she whipped out her own personal blaster and took aim. “Who are you to tell me where I can work?!”

    Phasma fired a shot, just grazing the other woman’s shoulder in warning. “Correction: chrome bitch. And stay away from General Hux.”

    “I wasn’t even talking about him, you freak!” called Ro as she fired a shot back. The bolt easily deflected off Phasma’s armor and hit a nearby ceramic cat vase. Alia Ro realized she was in trouble and quickly run out of the office, dodging blaster fire.

    Officer Kena, now terrified of the angry women, was huddled under the chair he was sitting on. He watched as Captain Phasma and Tinny rushed out after Ro. Refusing to be chairless, he grabbed the chair he was sitting on and wheeled it out of the office.

    Meanwhile at a corridor outside the bridge, General Hux was speaking with Captain Peavey. “Has the fleet fully reassembled?” Hux was asking as he eyed the veteran officer sternly, hands clasped behind his back as he held Millicent on her leash.

    “All ships are now reporting for duty, General,” declared Peavey as he tried to hide his distaste talking with the youngster. He held little respect for Hux and his scheming cat. Millicent tumbled over to him and began sniffing his boot with evil intents in mind.

    “Then prepare for the jump to hyperspace.”

    “Yes, sir,” said Captain Peavey before squinting his eyes at the bizarre sight behind Hux’s back in the other corridor. There was a purple haired woman being chased by Phasma with her electro-baton. She was just about to strike Alia Ro and finish her off when the other woman ducked and fell back into the laundry chute.

    Hux was quick to notice Captain Peavey’s surprised facial gestures. “Is something the matter?”

    “Uh….. Nothing, sir. Absolutely nothing at all.” He smiled to the young general nervously. “Sir, isn’t it time for you to take Millicent for her ice skating lessons?”

    “Millicent is quite fond of her ice skating lessons,” said Hux proudly. “The Supreme Leader demands it for her to be well-rounded.”

    General Hux was taking Millicent to her ice skating lessons when Alia Ro accidentally bumped into him. She fell to the ground while he brushed off his uniform. Hux glanced to her with disgust. "Purple hair.... in the military? Seriously?"

    Alia stood up, realizing that she smelled like dirty laundry. Her voice was shaky and she tried to ignore the orange cat's glares. "General, I----Captain Phasma--- she tried to kill me and--!"

    "That's enough," warned Hux haughtily as Millicent flattened her ears.

    "But, sir---"

    "Listen, whoever you are," he said discourteously, dismissing her with a wave of his hand as he walked past her impassively, "resume tattling on Phasma and I will be sure to have you executed. Now if you excuse me, Millicent is already late for her ice skating lessons."

    Millicent blew a raspberry at her as they passed. Alia scowled and watched him carelessly ignore her as he walked off down the corridor with his stupid cat. "Prissy jerk! Ice...skating lessons...for a cat?! So freakin' weird...... I'm out of here."

    Alia Ro was about to return to the hangar bay where her shuttle was waiting for her when Tinny the armored kitty blocked her way, staring at her ominously. Within seconds, Captain Phasma appeared, activating her electro-baton. "You cannot escape Ms. P., ex-Lieutenant!"

    The woman gasped and dashed in the other direction, before being pulled upwards into the ventilation shafts. She saw Phasma and Tinny pass down below in pursuit before splitting up into separate corridors. She turned to her apparent savior..... a storm trooper hiding in the ventilation shafts of all things.

    "Hi," waved FG-5622. "Hiding from Phasma? Me too. Hey, you're cute! Want some poptart crumbs? Millicent rules!"

    Kylo Ren was wandering around the hangar bay when he noticed a big box that was just delivered in the pickup section. Probably another funky cat tree-train-thingamajig or whatever, he thought.

    "What's this thing?" he asked the delivery guy, glaring at the box suspiciously.

    "A delivery for General Hux," answered the man.

    "He doesn't want it anymore. Send that back immediately."

    The delivery man glared slightly and then loaded the box back onto the shuttle. "Well, alright then."

    "Haha," laughed Kylo before being bumped into by a purple haired woman running by. He glared at her. "Strange girl! Strange girl that is not ice cream girl!"

    Captain Phasma rushed into the hangar bay and watched as Alia Ro's shuttle took off and escaped. "She won't be back," she said, her cloak waving. "Tinny reported that Millicent left her hairballs and surprises inside her ship! Revenge!"

    Kylo stared at her, raising an eyebrow as he munched on a poptart. "You're so freaking weird, Phas. You need a better hobby than going after women you don't like."

    "I had once considered collecting cat stamps....," she admitted. "...But that wasn't really violent enough."

    "Where is Millicent's cat tree tower!?" came General Hux's voice from the other side of the hangar bay as Kylo suddenly ran away.

    Next time.... Vet time for Tinny and Kylo.
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2018
    Kahara, Ridley Solo, Chyntuck and 4 others like this.
  19. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 2

    Mar 14, 2017
    Another chapter in the continuing hi-jinx filled adventures of "The Misfits of The Finalizer, and their clueless leader, Hux (although Millicent rules!)"

    Glad to see that Officer Kena got his chair, Kylo got his revenge, and FG 5622 is having a relapse, "Millicent Rules!"
  20. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    This one is gorgeous fan art, I know. Ever since I saw that, I love @gizkaspice ´s story even more. Great update, by the way!
    gizkaspice likes this.
  21. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    I love that there is a new Resistance forming within the First Order itself! I'm waiting for Amilyn Holdo to show up with a poodle dyed purple, at this point.
    Ah, so you have a cat, too? Mine steals emery boards. Furry little weirdo. [face_love]
    Oh, Kena, you'll be busted!
    Yes, who needs the Resistance when you have...the resistance!
    Great line!

    Cats at the vet...getting them into the carrier...getting them OUT of the carrier...getting screamed at in the car... poor vet. What poor sod do they have stuck with that job?
  22. NobodyIX

    NobodyIX Jedi Padawan star 1

    Feb 19, 2018
    So glad to see more, and be back within the finite workings of the First Order.:D

    I find this hilarious! We have two cats and they are always 'claiming' chairs.[face_laugh] I'm so glad he understands that he must find a new chair!
    I am so fond of FG-5622. He just 'gets' it! [face_laugh]

    Phasma is wonderful in this, so glad she has a cat to keep her on track! Thanks for spoiling us with another chapter. Can't wait for the vet!
  23. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Lololol! Phasma as Ms. P? This is pure genius! But still, a very aggressive Ms. P who likes to bully unwitting secretaries (great use of the TLJ quote by the way) and thinks that collecting cat stamps isn't violent enough.

    Now I wonder if there's a Holdo-trend in this 'verse.

    And, like Renata, I love the idea of a small-R resistance within the First Order: Captain Peavey appears to be thoroughly fed up with the cat circus, and FG-5622 is outright rebellious by now (although "Hiding from Phasma? Me too. Hey, you're cute! Want some poptart crumbs? Millicent rules!" would seem to indicate that he isn't entirely coherent yet).

    Oh, and...
    Yes, it does :D
  24. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for the comments!
    @PlanetSmasher Glad you liked it!

    @Mistress_Renata A new resistance? The cat- resistance! Okay, Holdo's purple poodle confirmed! :p

    @NobodyIX I've noticed cats are very territorial about chairs LOL.

    @Chyntuck Ms. P is a bullying secretary indeed....Don't mess with Ms. P!
    And thanks to @Mistress_Renata Holdo will now have a purple poodle, because...why not!? [face_rofl]
    The small-R resistance within the First will be soon expanded! Also, FG-5622 is a special snowflake.....well, you'll see what I mean soon!

    Maybe time for an update.

    Chapter 21: The Vet x 3

    On the other side of the Finalizer near the medical sector, Captain Phasma and General Hux were making their way with their cats towards the office of the First Order’s veterinarian, Dr. Tana. At the last moment, Kylo Ren just had to appear and whine to be dragged along.

    Dr. Tana turned towards them as they entered the clinic, worried that she had to deal with three idiots now. In addition to Millicent, she was now responsible for Phasma’s kitten, Tinny. She had personally arranged the adoption of a purebred Burmilla kitten from a shelter specifically for the chrome Captain, as per the General’s orders. “You brought Captain Phasma’s kitten for examination, correct, General?”

    “Yes,” he said as he pulled Millicent out of her pet carrier. “Please also trim Millicent’s claws and check her weight.”

    “Of course,” said the vet and she took the orange tabby onto the examination table. Kylo Ren munched on a poptart as he watched her trim the cat’s claws with a clipper and check her weight. He was surprised how disciplined Millicent was. “She has gained a little weight. Have you been giving her treats?”

    “No, Doctor,” said Hux in surprise. “But I will find out who has…..”

    “See to it, General. What happened to your cat, Mr. Ren? The black one,” asked Dr. Tana suddenly as she returned Millicent back and promptly took Tinny to be examined.

    “Ice cream girl took her,” said Kylo, shrugging. “There was this girl I liked and I offered her ice cream nicely but she got mad and took my cat away. Now I’m sad and stuff. Tough times.”

    “Dr. Tana, please excuse Kylo Ren,” interrupted Hux. “His maturity level is below average.”

    Kylo glared and flipped him off. "Dr. Tana, please excuse General Sux. He's obsessed with organizing paperclips."

    Dr. Tana rolled her eyes, not really caring. She brushed off poptart bits off the table as she tried to examine the silver kitten’s ears. “Mr. Ren, I’m examining a patient here. Please sit over there and be quiet.”

    “Okay,” agreed Kylo as he sat in the corner on a small stool. “Is Tinny really a girl? Maybe she’s a boy."

    Dr. Tana sighed and pointed to the poster beside him of cat anatomy. “Mr. Ren, please refer to the poster. If you notice the bottom image, there are examples how to tell apart a male and a female cat.”

    Kylo squinted at the poster. “I don’t know, doc. I’m just seeing a bunch of cat butts."

    The General snickered under his breath. "Perhaps Ren is confused about his own anatomy as well..."

    Kylo glared at him and shoved him. "Catbutt kisser!"

    Hux shoved him back. "Piss off with ice-cream girl, Ren!"

    "You leave ice-cream girl out of this!"

    "Alright, knock it off you two," warned Phasma as she shoved them both to the side before turning to the vet. "Dr. Tana, proceed with Tinny's booster shots immediately."

    Dr. Tana nodded reluctantly, unimpressed with her authoritative tone but willing to tolerate it. After all, the First Order was paying her a hefty sum for her work that she very much appreciated. She administered the booster shot to the silver kitten who didn't even give out a peep.

    "Tough kitty," commented Kylo. "I would need a lollipop after that."

    "That's because you're a tool, Ren," sneered Hux bitterly.

    Dr. Tana resumed watching them argue as she returned the silver kitten to her owner. ".....They have issues."

    "Daddy issues," clarified Phasma.

    The mean-looking Captain Tritt Opan quietly entered General Hux’s private quarters. Hux was already waiting for him as he sat on his sofa with a cup of tea and Millicent on his lap. “You must be wondering why I called you here, Captain. You have served me well in assassinating my enemies. Now, you will serve Millicent.”

    “Yes, sir. I am ready for my next assignment,” said Captain Opan as he tried to pretend he didn’t just see a Valentine’s Day card from Captain Phasma lying around his desk.

    Hux placed Millicent on her mobile cat tree before he approached his hitman, his hands clasped behind his back and his expression as cold as ever. “Someone has been giving Millicent treats without my knowledge. Weight gain in cats carries risks of diabetes, heart disease, and obesity."

    “A slow assassination attempt on Millicent,” concluded Opan.

    “Precisely,” agreed Hux as he turned away towards the window. There seemed to be a genuine anger in his voice and Opan knew Millicent was very important to the General. “I want you to keep your eyes open. Find the culprit and eliminate them appropriately. You are dismissed, Captain.”

    Opan nodded obediently and headed towards the doorway, noticing the recent cat-decorated rug on the floor. Meanwhile, FG-5622 shifted his eyes under his helmet as he overheard the conversation in the ventilation shafts above. He was glad he deleted all the recent footage of him giving Millicent snacks when he was still brainwashed.

    Captain Phasma was working in the print and publishing room on her very own newsletter dedicated to her kitten, the Chrome Cat. She still worked on Millicent’s newsletters, and Armitage was in the process of coming up with another newsletter dedicated to First Order cat fashion, such as Millicent in cute military uniforms.

    FG-5622 was sneaking outside the room when her sensors alerted her of his presence. "FG-5622,” she said as Tinny the armored kitty sat on her plated shoulder. “You were supposed to report to my division. Did you forget?”

    “Millicent rules!”

    “Don’t give me that crap. I know you can talk. I’m going to give you a punishment worse than death,” she said as she loomed over him and then knocked him down onto a chair. “Sit there and work on Millicent’s newsletters! We're on a tight deadline! Move it!"

    “Eep,” he gulped as he began working. Did she find out he was the one who accidentally gave Millicent cat treats when he was still brainwashed or something!? FG-5622 eventually finished printing a sample magazine for her to review and anxiously waited for her answer.

    "Adequate," she replied after taking some time looking over Millicent's latest newsletter. "You have quite the talent in graphic layout. Consider yourself promoted to.......Graphic layout officer."

    "WHOO!" cried FG-5622 happily as he returned to work.

    “Give me back my cat, ice cream girl.”

    Rey sliced apart a rock, focusing on her training while Luke lay in the middle of the hill rethinking his life as a bunch of Porgs were performing a mating dance beside him. “My name is Rey. And I don't have Blackie.”

    “You took Blackie! You also kicked my ass. Kind of not cool.”

    Rey turned towards the Force-skype vision, seeing him sitting in his underwear eating poptarts. "Oh my gosh! What happened to you!?"

    Kylo ignored the question as he munched on his poptart. "Once outside Starkiller base, I was building a Darth Vader snowman while Blackie sat on my helmet. But then Millicent ran over in her special winter outfit and little boots and peed all over the snowman before running off. I got really mad and then Blackie peed on me again."

    ".... I really don't think that explains why you're sitting in your underwear... But cool story, Ben."

    "Thanks, ice cream girl. I am also a big fan of spaghetti."

    "I really don't see how that's relevant ......" But Blackie seemed very important to him, she thought. Perhaps that kitten could bring him back to the light..... and maybe encourage him to put his shirt on.

    Back on D'Qar, Blackie was learning to be a cat pilot with Poe. He was given a small cardboard X-Wing to practice in along with a little pilot's helmet appropriate for a kitten of his status.

    "Go Blackie!" cried Poe as BB-8 pushed the cat in the cardboard X-wing. "You're doing great, buddy! Yay!"

    BB-8 beeped happily as Blackie looked out curiously before hiding inside the cockpit from Amilyn Holdo's obnoxious purple poodle. She picked up the dog. "Cat pilot lessons? What do we think of this, Miss Fussy?"

    The dog began barking mindlessly at the air for absolutely no reason. Meanwhile, Finn was running around in circles while Rose was trying to calm him down. "Phasma has a cat named Tinny! They're gonna kill us all! Run for your lives! Cats! Purple poodles!"

    "What's wrong with him?" asked Holdo to Leia as she held Miss Fussy.

    Leia tried to focus her attention on Blackie as she sighed. "Eh.....he's got issues."

    Next Time.....Captain Canady joins the cat-resistance forming in the First Order.
    Kahara, Ridley Solo, Chyntuck and 2 others like this.
  25. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    “Dr. Tana, please excuse Kylo Ren,” interrupted Hux. “His maturity level is below average.”

    Kylo glared and flipped him off. "Dr. Tana, please excuse General Sux. He's obsessed with organizing paperclips."

    Great exchange here! Plus more thrill in stock for us. Especially for poor Finn.
    gizkaspice and Findswoman like this.