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Saga - ST Something in Kylo Ren's shoe--A Millicent the Cat story--Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by gizkaspice, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    There is actually a movie where cats want to take over and dogs try to stop them. ;)

    But Kylo does not have the intelligence of a dog at all!
  2. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Yup, he's pretty bad. A cat would do a better job.

    Oh yes, those Porgs are doomed. And exploding pizza because something has to explode, right? :D

    Han Solo: Ben, let me teach you a thing or two about ships: duct tape fixes all your problems!

    Yeah, I don't think Kylo is really any danger to the galaxy as much as the galaxy is a danger to him...:p

    Well, yes, Phasma has always been putting order back into the First Order but now there is too much disorder with Kylo being the #1 cause of entropy....:D Yes, general shirtlessness, LOL.

    That is probably his plan--why bother fighting the First Order when it's already collapsing from within?

    Yes but does it have a certain ginger cat wearing a military hat against the purple poodles of the Resistance? (hint hint, Disney!)

    Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing! :D Glad I could make some of you laugh.
  3. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    You are truly marvellous! :D[face_love]
    gizkaspice likes this.
  4. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Dec 21, 2016
    Exploding pizza? No. Please don't explode the pizza.
  5. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 even pizza explodes in the presence of shirtless Kylo......LOL thanks for the comment!

    thanks all for reading and enjoying this. :)
    Next chapter is right here

    Chapter 31: Supreme Kylo Part 3

    FG-5622 was working on cat newsletters aboard the Supremacy when Captain Phasma walked in and tossed a manuscript at him. "Make a newsletter for the Supreme Leader's kitten. Immediately."

    The stormtrooper adjusted his nerdy orange cat reading glasses as he oversaw the manuscript. "Hmm...Blackie rules....? the extent of Millicent or of a lesser kind?"

    "Shut up and get to work," demanded Phasma, making him squirm in his seat. "And who gave you permission to have a cape?"


    "Take it off immediately. Only I can have a cape."

    "Aww," whined FG-5622, removing the garment which fell on Tinny who was munching on a Porg.

    Supreme Leader Kylo Ren stood before the armies of the First Order, adjusting his Darth-Vader themed tie. “First Order, I am beginning my dream of setting up a cool poptart business. Every Tuesday will now also be Darth Vader spaghetti day,” he declared. “It’s gonna be awesome, guys! Also, Blackie is now Grand Marshal. Millicent will be, like, just a normal cat or whatever.”

    Millicent flattened her ears and growled. How dare he take away her title of Grand Marshal!

    General Hux glanced sharply towards him as he held his cat back from attacking. "Supreme Leader, with all due respect--"

    "Shut up," warned Kylo. "Also General, I'm relocating your office to an unused janitor's closet."

    "What?! Why!?"

    "Need more space for my Darth Vader merch," said Kylo, shrugging. He then held up Blackie and projected an image of the kitten to everyone. "Blackie rules!"

    “Sir, are we supposed to be looking at its rear end?” asked an officer.

    “Oh, sorry,” said Kylo, realizing he was showing Blackie’s butt. He flipped the kitten around. “Haha, wrong side.”

    "Does that kitten have what I think it has?" whispered a stormtrooper to his buddy.

    "Blackie's a dude," whispered the other stormtrooper.


    Kylo glanced to the two stormtroopers in the crowd gossiping, pointing a finger in warning. "Hey, no talking over there."

    "Sorry, Supreme Leader."

    "Furthermore," said Kylo, "I'm making it mandatory for everyone to subscribe to Blackie's cool newsletter. Captain Phasma, status on cool newsletter?"

    "FG-5622 has printed Blackie's first newsletter edition, Supreme Leader," reported Phasma while playing her cat collecting game.

    Kylo replied with a satisfied nod and adjusted his tie again. "Excellent. Soon we will find and destroy the Resistance......and they, too, will subscribe to Blackie's newsletter."

    The First Order cheered or maybe they were just confused. Either way, they began questioning why they were following a leader who was showing them his kitten’s butt. Just then, Kylo Ren ran off to the washroom when Blackie peed on him again.

    Back on the Finalizer in Hux’s private chambers, Millicent and Tinny were riding the cat train around the room with little conductor hats on. Meanwhile, Hux turned to Phasma.

    "I know he killed Supreme Leader Snoke," whispered the General. "In time, his treachery will be exposed--"

    "Why is there a cat train in your room?" asked Phasma, dodging the rails. "This is odd and very arbitrary."

    "Phasma, pay attention to me right now. Kylo Ren is Supreme Leader. The First Order will fall apart and we'll lose all the cat furniture," clarified Hux, diverting her attention from the cat train. Just then, Millicent pushed a button with her nose and instead of the train going 'choo choo' it went 'meow meow.'

    "Don't worry," she reassured, taking out a small vase. “I still have a spare Parnassos beetle we can use."

    “I don’t think that thing’s alive anymore," said Hux, as he looked at the upside down insect with little x’s on its eyes.

    Phasma shook the vase and the beetle spontaneously exploded for absolutely no reason. “I guess I forgot to feed it.”

    "I have a better idea...."

    Mr. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was wandering around the Supremacy when he heard funky techno music that suspiciously resembled the ‘Numa Numa’ song coming from a nearby room. He kicked the door open with the Force, seeing cats wearing hats, dresses and orange suits. Some were drunk on catnip and rolling around the place. Meanwhile, many officers and storm troopers were hiphop dancing to the beat while Millicent and FG-5622 were the DJs.

    Kylo pulled the plug that connected the speakers and everyone turned to him. The cats glared at him and made a run for it, dozens of them trampling over Kylo in a massive cat stampede. And just when he was about to stand up, a fat kitten late to the exit trampled him before running off. He stood up, brushed himself off, and wiped paw prints off his face. “What’s all this cat stuff, people?”

    “Millicent organized this event and invited her friends all on her own, Supreme Leader,” reported Phasma, stepping over the cat toys. “There were some parking issues with their little cat freighters.”

    “The cats….have little freighters?” asked Kylo, and then glanced to the window, seeing Millicent’s friends in their little mouse and tuna shaped spaceships as they flew back to their home planets. “Um……..Yeah….. Right. And where is General Hux? Pretty sure he has something to do with this cat stuff.”

    “Ah, yes,” said Phasma. “General Hux went to order more wine for the humans.”

    Kylo frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that. From now on, adult grape juice is banned, First Order! You guys should totally know better.”

    The officers gasped in terror and begin whispering among themselves. Many would soon turn to traitors. A secret coup began almost immediately. Meanwhile, General Hux stood on a nearby platform overhearing the drama. That’s right, Ren, he thought. Take away the supply of wine and see how long your leadership lasts....

    And meanwhile, Blackie was overlooking the entire situation in the ventilation shafts, knowing that the inner Resistance within the First Order was now taking flight. He adjusted his little headphones and contacted Leia, unknowing that elsewhere Tinny the silver kitten was decoding his entire message with the help of her evil droid friend, BB-9E. Now, the location of the Resistance would soon be revealed...

    Next time...poptarts.
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2018
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  6. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Another great entry, @gizkaspice! Lovely, juicy tidbits to savor, here...
    Oh, yeah. It's ON, baby!

    Story of my life. My guy always sticks his butt in my face when he wants attention.

    Probably the latter.

    Aaw, marking his territory! Claiming Kylo for his own. (Blackie's just saying he loves you, kid).

    Taking away the wine? He is truly evil, isn't he?

    I enjoy this story so much; it's just so goofy and out there, and I always end up giggling at something. And it is so very cat.
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  7. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks for the review and any readers reading this! :D

    Thanks, Renata! I'm glad you enjoy it. :)

    Okay then, next chapter:

    Chapter 32: Supreme Kylo Part 4

    “You’re doing a sucky job at this Supreme Leader stuff, Benny boy,” said the Force Ghost of Luke as he sat on a stool for absolutely no reason.

    “Quit it, Uncle,” muttered Kylo as he mused, sitting on his bedside.

    The Force Ghost of Luke put on his sunglasses. “By the way, did you remember to brush your teeth today? Got some clean underwear on your bum? Leia asked me, mind you.”

    And just then, Blackie ran over to Kylo dragging behind him a huge book. Kylo picked up the book which read: 'The Big Book Of Economics.'

    And suddenly....Kylo had an idea.

    The Knights of Ren and Supreme Leader Kylo organized a conference to reveal the newest poptart designs. Kylo was wearing a suit with a Darth-Vader themed tie while Blackie sat on his shoulder wearing sunglasses.

    "Poptart business 101," began Kylo, adjusting his tie. "It's all about poptarts, guys. Blackie has shown me the way of a successful business. The First Order will dominate the galaxy with its economic power, crushing the Resistance with our marketing skills, and obliterating their allies with our stock market investments!"

    Hux sighed, trying to remain his cool. "Supreme Leader... We need to focus on destroying the Resistance, not on some poptart business--"

    Kylo pulled down his sunglasses slightly to glance at him in a cool way. Blackie copied his motions, pulling down his little sunglasses slightly. "Mr. Hux, unless you want to be tossed into a trashcan again, I suggest you behave yourself."

    Phasma noticed Hux was angered by this and pat him on the head sympathetically, annoying him even more.

    "Now I forget what I was supposed to say," muttered Kylo. "Uh....hmm.."

    "Poptarts, boss," said the Knights of Ren, all six of them with briefcases. "It's all about poptarts."

    "Totally," agreed Kylo. "Ice cream girl is going to marry me when she finds out I have a cool poptart business. We can make ice cream flavored poptarts. Captain Phasma, how are our poptart stocks?"

    "They are fine, your poptart majesty," replied Phasma, not even bothering to look up as she played her cat collecting game.

    "Cool beans!" said Kylo, giving a thumbs up.

    Hux leaned close to the chrome stormtrooper and whispered: "create a distraction so that he does not suspect anything. We need to talk."

    Captain Phasma stood up from her chair, picking up her silver kitten who just destroyed a briefcase. "Mr. Supreme Leader, we need to be excused. I received an alert that our secret ice cream factory ran out of vanilla."

    "Okay, bye," agreed Kylo as he observed his poptart stocks on the main computer with Blackie.

    The Resistance was playing cat cards somewhere on an unknown planet when suddenly the door to their secret bunker opened and the sunlight burst in. They looked to the two figures that had entered, both familiar and imposing.

    "Hello there, Resistance scum," announced General Hux as he held Millicent in his arms and set down a heavy suitcase. "We are....defecting."

    "Meowwwww," meowed Millicent.

    "Ah, yes," he resumed as Captain Phasma set down her suitcase. "Our cats require a salon trip. Immediately."

    Poe laughed. "Check it out, it's General Hugs and Captain Phasmy!"

    Leia raised an eyebrow, and signaled to the others to lower their weapons. "General, what makes you think we're going to accept you with open arms? For all we know, you might be here to kill us all."

    Hux adjusted his greatcoat and flicked off some ginger fur off his uniform. "Well, precious Resistance princess, as you know, we are the only two individuals in the galaxy that speak and understand cat. I am sure we can find a common ground."

    "Kylo Ren is also driving us nuts and we need your help to get rid of him," added Phasma.

    Finn suddenly gasped as he hid behind Poe. "Wait........PHASMA's ALIVE!? But you fell into a huge fire thing! Do you at least have a cool scar to show for it or something? Or maybe a robotic eye that shoots lasers!?"

    "That would be kind of cool," commented Poe. "Pew, pew pew."

    "Please inform me where I may hang Millicent's numerous portraits in your domain," asked Hux as he began unpacking.

    Leia swiped out a blaster, setting it on stun. "Just a moment, General! I did not say you're welcome here just yet. I know that you're both murderous traitors. You will be trialed for war crimes by the Republic!"

    Hux sipped tea casually while Millicent sat on his lap. "I highly doubt that...."

    "Emergency meeting!!! Emergency meeting!!" cried Finn as he gathered everyone into a circle to discuss the situation. Poe and Leia turned their heads around slightly as they observed the two and their cats. "All right, we need to kick them out. Millicent is going to crap in my shoe again!"

    "Why does Hux have 200 portraits of Millicent?" asked Rose.

    "Hugs is obsessed with his cat," answered Poe.

    "Okay," said Rose. "But why does he even have a cat? A ginger cat?"

    Finn glared at them both. "You guys are not contributing!"

    "They seem pretty desperate... I don't think they are here to kill us. I think they want to strike a deal with us," whispered Rey.

    "But Millicent's out to kill me!" whispered Finn, glaring at the ginger tabby who blew a raspberry at him.

    "Alright, everyone shut up," warned Leia as she tried to gather her thoughts. "I agree with Rey. This is an act of desperation. Things must be pretty bad back at the First Order."

    "No surprises here," whispered Rey, tightening the circle. "Kylo is an immature leader, obsessed with poptarts and being shirtless. Blackie is with him....the poor soul."

    "We must have faith in Blackie," sighed Leia. "Blackie is our only hope. Blackie will bring my son back to the light."

    "So... Can I have a cool animal buddy?" asked Finn suddenly. "Please?"

    Leia narrowed her eyes as she broke the circle and approached the General and Captain. She crossed her arms, unimpressed but willing to listen. "I reckon you want to strike a deal with us. Tell us your plan."

    Hux set his tea cup down on a coaster. "Phasma and I have developed a well detailed plan. Ren is obsessed with the girl...the Jedi one. We will use her to distract him, so that his poptart business will collapse. The First Order will see that he is an incompetent leader and form a revolt. I will return and take my place as Supreme Leader, resume buying Millicent expensive cat furniture and create a business selling cute military cat hats."

    "I will be the accountant for said cute military cat hat business," added Phasma.

    "Wait a moment," interrupted Rey. "What will I get out of this?"

    "We don't have a choice, Rey. Not until our own allies respond to us," whispered Leia, sighing. She turned to the duo with a heavy heart. "We accept....But this alliance will only be temporary..."

    A smile slithered on the young general's face as Millicent resumed sitting on his lap. "Excellent. Desperate times call for desperate measures, as they say."

    Finn cringed at the idea of his old boss living with them, but her cat was even worse. That evil kitten was staring at him the whole time and he was sure she was planning to leave a few surprises in his shoe. Phasma was probably secretly planning to make his life miserable for tossing her into the trash compactor and throwing her into a fire thing. Hux seemed more concerned about making sure Millicent was as comfortable as possible while maintaining a steady supply of tea.

    "I have a bad feeling about this," mumbled Finn as he dodged a flying hairball.

    Next time...more cats.
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  8. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Dec 21, 2016
    [face_laugh] actually somewhat realistic. Hux getting so feed up with whiny, inept Kylo Ren, that he defects to the Resistance, I mean.
  9. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Thanks for the review! That is true....:D

    Next chapter...a short one!

    Chapter 33: Uninvited Guests

    Mr. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was wandering around the Supremacy when he stumbled into the print and publishing room. “You’ve seen Captain Phasma and General Hux around, Todd?”

    FG-5622 spun around in his orange chair. “Well, Sir, Captain Phasma has been standing in the corner of the hallway for the last two days and there goes Millicent!”

    Just then, an orange mouse droid with cat ears rolled by and meowed.

    Kylo kicked the droid over. “That’s not a cat, fool!! And that’s just a cardboard cutout of Captain Phasma! We’ve been betrayed!”

    “Holy macaroni!” screamed the stormtrooper. “That’s a pretty convincing cutout, if I may say so myself.”

    “Shut up,” warned Kylo, making the stormtrooper freeze in his seat in terror. “And why are my poptart stocks plummeting?! Blackie, what’s going on!?”

    The black kitten shifted his eyes suspiciously…

    Meanwhile, Rey had just finished texting Kylo about ice cream and distracted him from his poptart business. Leia was busy translating Blackie’s latest transmissions. “His business is collapsing. The First Order is rioting about the lack of wine..”

    Finn turned to the evil duo and their cats. “You got what you want. Now get lost.”

    Millicent hissed, forcing Finn to hide behind Poe. Phasma was sipping her expresso from under her helmet with a straw, amused. Hux was grooming Millicent with a brush and deliberately put cat hair on the Resistance's brand-new sofa. Their brand-new….. black sofa. Somehow, though, his uniform was completely orange cat hair-free, which to this date nobody knew how that was possible.

    “You’ve got to be the biggest ass in the universe, Hugs,” commented Poe. “Orange cat hair on a black sofa….”

    “And coffee,” added Phasma, slowly pouring the rest of her coffee onto the leather sofa. Leia was now just quietly grinding her teeth in annoyance.

    “GET OUT!” screamed Finn finally, pointing to the door. “Out, out, out, out! Especially the cats…OUT!”

    “Let’s go, Armitage,” announced Phasma, picking up the suitcases and the cats. “This place sucks.”

    Hux began packing Millicent’s portraits. “I’ve had enough of the rebel scum and their lack of proper cat accessories.”

    “Don’t let the gravitational pull of our planet hit you on the way out,” muttered Leia, sitting in her morning’s cat slippers.

    “Can somebody please explain why that small silver kitten is glaring at me?” asked Rose.

    Tinny the armored kitten narrowed her eyes and something in the room caught on fire for absolutely no reason. BB-8 broke apart as well and beeped nervously.

    “Buddy!” cried Poe, rushing to the droid’s side.

    Finn turned to Rose, throwing his arms into the air. “That is what happens when you ask questions! Stop asking questions!”

    “I’m so confused…” muttered Rose.

    “The First Order will prevail!!” called out General Hux proudly as he held Millicent in his arms and walked out with the Captain and their suitcases back to the silver TIE fighter parked outside. Millicent glared at Finn and blew a raspberry at him. Finn glared back at the cat.

    “Whatever, losers,” mumbled Rey, rolling her eyes.

    “Some peace and quiet,” sighed Finn as he walked back to his room. He glanced around, satisfied. “Wasn’t as bad as I thought…. Millicent didn’t even try to kill me.”

    As he sat on his bed, he suddenly stepped into something squishy. A cat surprise. And more of those under his bedsheets. He sprang up but slipped on a squeaky mouse toy and fell on his back. A few hairballs fell down on his face from the ceiling. And he wasn’t the only one-- everyone else in the Resistance found the same surprises in their rooms. Soon screams filled the corridors....


    Next time: The last stand…..
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2019
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  10. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    I know I've missed a lot of this, too much of this. So much fun stuff here...
    Reason for anyone to defect, I'd say! :p

    No idiot, he!

    The lady is the sole voice of reason.

    Maybe not the sole voice of reason...
    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh] How am I not surprised that plan worked?
    [face_laugh] Oh, the humanity!!!
    Poe doesn't need a pet. It's luuuuuuv... :bb8:
    "We all confused, Kay!"

    The last stand... who knows how this will go... really, it's a pity the F.O. doesn't stick to poptarts & overpriced cat merch!
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  11. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    @Mistress_Renata Thanks for the review! Yes, Finn has finally learned his lesson about never trusting cats! Poe and BB-8 forever am I right?! Somebody should write a fanfic about that :D

    And we're about to find out as this is the last chapter!

    Chapter 34: The Last Stand

    “Well, well, well,” said Mr. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren sitting on his chair with Blackie. For once, he was wearing a shirt. “Look what the cat brought in!”

    “Your doom is upon you, Ren,” announced General Hux boldly as he walked into the throne room with Phasma. “Your reign of stupidity is over.”

    Kylo pet Blackie a cool way. “Whatever. You have some nerve scheming against me with Ms. P, Mr. Hux.”

    “I see you learned how to wear a shirt…..Kyle,” said Phasma sarcastically.

    “It’s Kylo Ren, fool!” screamed Kylo, jumping to his feet and causing Blackie to leap off his lap. The black kitten landed safely into his poptart shaped sleeping bed. “And yes, wearing a shirt. It’s a cool thing to do sometimes.”

    “We’re here to kick your ass because you’re annoying,” said Phasma. “I hope you’re okay with that, sir.”

    “Ummm….yeah, no,” laughed Kylo. “And what exactly are you going to do?”

    Hux stepped aside, revealing behind him a sea of ginger cats standing in formation. “I have an army, Ren.”

    Kylo snorted in laughter. He was laughing so hard that he was holding his sides now. Phasma looked to her partner-in-crime and shook her head at the manchild before them. “An army of ginger cats? Are you serious? That’s all you could come up with? How will they defeat me?!”

    “Only one ginger cat will defeat you today,” announced Hux daringly. “I have faith she will be the reason for your destruction.”

    Mr. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren saw Millicent sleeping on his chair. He threw her off and sat down. “I really don’t think so. You guys are traitors and punishment will be given!”

    And just then, Millicent growled for throwing her off her chair and tossed Kylo against the wall without even lifting a paw. Suddenly, he was lying in a heap with his underwear sticking out and not knowing why. Then, Snoke’s words echoed in his mind: ‘Millicent, like all cats, is Force sensitive…’

    “That cat has the Force!” screamed Kylo in disbelief. “Blackie, counterattack!”

    The black kitten sprang forward but Millicent proved stronger and sent him back into his sleeping bed.

    “I think Millicent has just become Supreme Leader,” announced Hux, seeing the ginger tabby sitting proudly on the throne chair like she owned the place.

    “Well, I for one welcome our new cat overlord,” agreed Phasma.

    “No fair!” whined Kylo, before being thrown into a nearby trashcan. “This is what you guys get for overthrowing me. Now a cat runs the First Order!”

    Hux turned to him sternly. “As it should be. All her plans are proceeding as she envisioned. We now have the location of the Resistance.....”

    "....because we defected and now we're betraying them just like that," said Phasma, finishing his sentence.

    Millicent blew a raspberry at Kylo. She was now Supreme leader and nothing could stop her from destroying the Resistance and claiming the galaxy. And while Kylo was frantically texting Rey, she announced her leadership to the fleets of the First Order through fleet-wide broadcast.

    Back on the Finalizer, Captain Peavey was the first to hear the announcement and calmly took off his officer’s hat and was just about done. He looked down to his old French bulldog, the one nobody knew about because dogs were not allowed in the First Order. “Well then, Mr. Truffles, time to collect that pension….”

    And elsewhere on the Supremacy, Blackie was adjusting his headpiece as he made contact with Leia.

    “Oh no, Millicent rules the First Order now?”

    He meowed frantically in response.

    “Blackie, remain with my son and resume your role as a spy,” ordered Leia. “We need help from our allies if we are to defeat the First Order! Have hope—our Republic allies will answer our distress signal…. I know they will….”

    Blackie nodded humbly and remained hidden in the ventilation shafts. He turned off the transmission, hearing the grand speech for Millicent echoing in the corridors......

    “Today is the dawn of a new era--- the reign of the cat!” announced the now Grand Marshal Hux to the armies and fleets of the First Order as he held the Supreme Leader in his arms. “Our new Supreme Leader will bring victory! Already she has in place the manufacture of new war machines to crush our enemies once and for all. She has also promised that there will be ice cream.”

    “But will it be orange?” asked a random stormtrooper.

    “MILLICENT RULES, YOU GO GIRL!” cried FG-5622 randomly in the crowd while holding an orange balloon. He suddenly ran around the hangar bay bugging his stormtrooper friends. “That’s Millicent! I belong to her because she touched me once! WHOO!!”

    “I will order the cat shaped cake, Grand Marshal,” said Captain Phasma as Tinny the silver kitten nodded in approval.

    “Mrowwww,” agreed Millicent and the First Order applauded.

    “If you excuse me,” said Hux haughty as he walked down the stage with Phasma and Millicent, “the Supreme Leader has just announced that she’s late for her ice skating lessons….”

    Supreme Leader Millicent looked out into space aboard the Supremacy. She had ordered it to be repaired properly and she owned every room and corner. The galaxy was now hers. The Resistance would crumble under her might. In the many First Order factories aboard the ship, thousands of new war machines were being created; and in the background, massive cat-tree playhouses for her entertainment. Her ginger-ness would conquer millions of worlds as she smashed a hologram of the galaxy with a paw…...

    “And so it begins….” whispered the Force Ghost of Luke Skywalker on Ahch-To, closing an orange book, “…..the reign of the cat. Told ya this is not going to go the way…you think!”

    The Porg children clapped their wings and cheered.

    “Did you like that story?!” asked Luke. “Personally, I don’t think it had enough ‘me’ in it…”

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh,” cooed the Porg children in awe.

    “Why are we on an island with ducks?” asked Rose as she sat with the rest of the Resistance and slapped a Porg away.

    “What’s a duck?” asked Luke.

    “We’re hiding from the First Order,” answered Leia as she unpacked her suitcase.

    “Okay,” agreed Rose, “but why is Kylo Ren here?”

    “Hi,” waved Kylo while Blackie sat on his head and munched on his hair.

    “Millicent banished him for calling her Supreme Leader cat-butt,” answered Poe. “Presumably she left another surprise in his shoe.”

    “Mom, I need new shoes,” whined Kylo while Leia face-palmed.

    Rose glanced around. Everyone was making themselves at home while the Millennium Falcon was getting repaired by Chewie and Rey after getting shot by one of Millicent’s newest cat-shaped TIE fighters during their escape. “Okay…but about the cat stuff---“

    Finn pointed a finger at her in warning. “Don’t even start….”

    And just then, as Blackie and BB-8 were reuniting as cool cat-droid buddies, the Resistance received an incoming transmission: "General Organa, come in, General Organa. We heard your distress call. Your Republic allies are here to help!"

    "About time!" called Leia as Blackie jumped onto her shoulder.

    "Begins now....the cat wars," announced Luke.


    So that’s it, I guess! Thanks for everyone who commented and/or read this story, especially any lurkers out there! Glad you enjoyed it! I still can’t believe it’s been over a year since I wrote it, and how it continued! I really appreciate all the encouragement and I’m glad people liked it and got a few laughs out of it! :D[:D][:D]

    Special thanks to all the reviewers/readers who dropped by since this story was posted, and I hope I got everyone: @Mistress_Renata , @Chyntuck (and Mr. Chyn + cats), @Findswoman , @AzureAngel2 , @PlanetSmasher , @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 , @Nehru_Amidala , @Sith-I-5 , @Ridley Solo , @NobodyIX , and @Flyboy240

    And of course...thank you @Gamiel for bringing up the plot bunny. I had a lot of fun with this! :)
  12. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    Oooo... the most subtle allusion! Wonder how many will get the reference? =D==D==D=
    Don't blame him one bit!

    I'm not too worried about the fate of the Galaxy... given the all-important feline nap schedule (nap, breakfast, bathing, nap, bird watch. Nap on blue chair, bathing, nap on pouf, bathing, nap under bed, etc. etc.) I'm not sure when she will be awake to issue orders! Besides, Blackie can take her. He might need some more training from Luke, though.

    I loved this. You took this plot bunny further than I thought possible, and it was funny with so many good lines! I almost wish it could be an animated series. Well done, @gizkaspice! =D==D==D=
  13. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Dec 21, 2016
    No. No, that would be bad. We would laugh so hard that we would suffocate to death from being unable to breathe because of laughing. [face_laugh][face_rofl]
  14. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    The reign of the cat. It could be worse.

    I had to much fun reading that, but like @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 I was in pain from laughter here and there. Sweet pain though.

    There should definitely be an animated series. :D
    gizkaspice and Mistress_Renata like this.
  15. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    I can see it now...

    NAMELESS LIEUTENANT: Sir! The Resistance are attempting to escape through the asteroid field? Shall we follow them?

    HUX: Supreme Leader! What are your orders?

    CUT TO: MILLICENT, lying on a pillow in a ball.

    HUX: Supreme Leader! The Resistance is getting away!

    MILLICENT: (puts one paw over her eyes and tucks her tail around her nose)... ZZZZZZZ.....
  16. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    In cat language we call this the, "I don't want to listen to you right now. I am sleeping. Go away until dinner time" gesture. :D
    AzureAngel2 and Mistress_Renata like this.
  17. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    I was hoping at least someone would get that...:D:cool::luke: The running gag is that after 30 years, Luke still doesn't know what a duck is, of course.
    Now, Peavey tolerated a lot of this cat madness. But a cat in charge of the First Order? Well, that's just a bit too much now. Retirement is a better option.

    Well, a cat sleeps on average 14-16 hours a day, so the Galaxy is safe only then! Then the orders would be as usual: bring food, pay attention to me; this other thing you are doing is not important right now (the other thing may be keeping the ship from crashing, doing paperwork, going after the Resistance, etc), let's go to this planet it has birds; (2 minutes later), I want to go back on the ship now, etc etc. Blackie will be a Jedi kitty! :D

    Thank you so much! It's a long plot epic now. [face_laugh]

    [face_thinking]..........Now there's an idea.


    At least Kylo isn't in charge anymore [face_laugh]

    Thanks all again for enjoying this story :D
    Mistress_Renata and AzureAngel2 like this.
  18. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
  19. Oddly_Salacious

    Oddly_Salacious Jedi Grand Master star 1

    Dec 5, 2005
    So many quotables... aweSOMMME!!
    AzureAngel2 and gizkaspice like this.
  20. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks so much for the comment and for stopping by! Glad you liked the quotables in this story :)
    Oddly_Salacious and AzureAngel2 like this.
  21. Seldes_Katne

    Seldes_Katne Force Ghost star 3

    Mar 18, 2002
    Cat lovers of the GFFA, unite! If you ever wondered how much better the SW Sequel Trilogy movies would have been if cats ran battle fleets, the humans served as support staff, and Kylo Ren's mom called in the middle of a First Order staff meeting to tell him she's sending him clean underwear because a kitten tipped her off, than this fic's for you! :D

    I have a friend who loves both cats and Star Wars, and I will have to send him the link to this story. (And tell him to free up a full weekend to read it!)
  22. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 27, 2013
    Thanks so much for your kind comment! Glad you liked it!
    In case you/your friend require more feline madness, I also highly recommend supplements to complete the feline training such as Star Wars: Millicent Rules! The Series and The First Order Veterinarian ;):D