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Before - Legends Spindrift - OC angst/romance one-shot - Best Romance '08! Thank you!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediNemesis, May 19, 2008.

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  1. JediNemesis

    JediNemesis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Title: Spindrift
    Author: JediNemesis
    Era: 7000+ years before TPM
    Genre: Angst-ish, introspection-ish, maybe verging on romance.
    Characters: OCs
    Summary: On a mission to an alien world, a young Jedi has to deal with his feelings.

    Note: This vignette stands fine alone, but fits into the same miniverse as a number of my other stories. For those interested, this takes place fourteen years before [link=http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/25171174]Ice[/link] and 20 before [link=http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/25478196]Seventy and Seven Shades of Green[/link].

    Warning: This fic could be read as suggesting/implying/referencing a same-sex relationship. The story as posted has been approved by the mods, but if you have a problem with the basic concept, click away now. If you do not have a problem with the basic concept, there is a short continuation, available by PM on request [face_mischief]


    [b]DISCLAIMER:[/b] The GFFA, the concept of the Jedi, and so on, are the ideas and property of George Lucas; original characters and planets are my creations. No money has changed hands.

    [hr]

    The star was Sel?haa on the oldest charts, but some more romantic soul on a more recent mapping ship had seen to it that the solitary planet in its long leisurely orbit was not merely Sel?haa I but Spindrift. It was ninety percent ocean, only the tops of the tallest mountains showing above the water, and the fat sun set the wavelets glittering like flame.

    Flamini Lang sat on a beach somewhere in the southern hemisphere, seventeen and Jedi and guilty at heart, and rested his head on his arms. He had welcomed the news that they were going to Spindrift. That was as it should have been.

    And it was, partly, for the right reason: because it was an honour beyond price to represent the Republic, the Jedi and humanity to an alien race. The reason uppermost in his mind, though, had been because it would be a welcome respite from the endless prying eyes of the Order and the world, and a chance to be alone with his feelings and the reason for them.

    The awe he had felt for Spindrift and the lithe, restless, intellectual race it harboured was a rational one; an awe born out of a knowledge of the wideness of the galaxy, and of the infinite potential of nature to nurse wonders.

    It was an awe of the scientific senses and thinking brain, and receded into dimness behind the wrenching immediacy of the feeling that caught at his heart and set it fluttering birdlike in its cage of bones.

    He had been sitting staring blindly into the sunset for what could have been hours when Iri and Charlaithe came down the beach from the ship to remind him that they would be going back underwater in four hours, and to make the most of the break for air.

    Charlaithe went off in search of Mairìs after exchanging a few words of friendly small talk with Flamini. Iri sat down beside him, and Flamini said politely ?Hello, Master.?

    ?Guilty about something?? Iri said cheerfully. ?You only ever call me ?Master? when you?re feeling guilty. Don?t worry,? she raised her hands, ?I won?t pry if you aren?t talking.?

    Flamini had to smile. It was a running joke that Iri did the talking for both of them, the Order?s most irrepressible Knight turned into its least masterly Master. But she was an exacting teacher and a formidable talent, and Flamini had learned over the years that beneath the fluff was steel.

    Now, Iri scraped a wayward rat-tail of hair back behind her ear, and asked with an oddly maternal anxiety ?Green is still your favourite colour, isn?t it? Or have I gone senile at last??

    Flamini lifted his head off his arms. ?I like green.?

    ?Good,? Iri said cheerfully. ?I found this down by the ship. Hold out your hand.?

    Feeling like a child asking for sweets - and it was a curiously comforting feeling, a brief hark back to a time when life seemed, in retrospect, to have been a great deal simpler - Flamini did as his Master told him, and held out his hand.
    >
     
  2. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    This is very subtle and delicate, like that sea green glass his master gave to him. She was trying to tell him something withouth telling him - that there was beauty in the green and that she understood how he was feeling.

    ?Guilty about something?? Iri said cheerfully. ?You only ever call me ?Master? when you?re feeling guilty. Don?t worry,? she raised her hands, ?I won?t pry if you aren?t talking.?

    Flamini had to smile. It was a running joke that Iri did the talking for both of them, the Order?s most irrepressible Knight turned into its least masterly Master. But she was an exacting teacher and a formidable talent, and Flamini had learned over the years that beneath the fluff was steel.

    Now, Iri scraped a wayward rat-tail of hair back behind her ear, and asked with an oddly maternal anxiety ?Green is still your favourite colour, isn?t it? Or have I gone senile at last??

    Flamini lifted his head off his arms. ?I like green.?


    And Mairìs's green eyes.


    Lovely as always.
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    This had a subtle and intoxicating beauty that drew me in from the first sentence. As always, your work is moving and powerful!

    =D=
     
  4. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Mairìs was grinning too, eyes glowing green through his wet fringe. The glow was only a genetic quirk, but an unusual one, and Mairìs, a born extrovert, loved every iota of attention it got him.

    Where do I send my iotas? I have a whole box full for him. [face_love]

    Nem, your work takes my breath away. I felt like I was on that beach - I could smell the water. Of course, now I'm annoyed because the beach isn't real, but oh well. :p
     
  5. slow_dawn

    slow_dawn Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 18, 2006
    Mairìs glanced out to sea, and said with uncharacteristic quietness ?It?s all under the surface, isn?t it??

    I loved the subtly and the beautiful descriptions in this vig. Really well done story.


     
  6. JediNemesis

    JediNemesis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Hello :)

    diane This is very subtle and delicate, like that sea green glass his master gave to him. She was trying to tell him something without telling him - that there was beauty in the green and that she understood how he was feeling. I'm glad something of Flamini and Iri's master-apprentice relationship came across, despite her only having three lines of dialogue. I think she understands him almost better than he does himself. And Mairìs's green eyes. Yes. There's a reason why Flamini's favourite colour is green. Lovely as always. Thank you! [:D]

    VaderLVR This had a subtle and intoxicating beauty that drew me in from the first sentence. Thank you, especially for the 'intoxicating' - if it reflects the intensity of what the characters are feeling, I'd count that a success. As always, your work is moving and powerful! Thank you! :D

    JadeSolo Where do I send my iotas? I have a whole box full for him. [face_laugh] I'm sure he'd appreciate the attention. On a marginally more serious note, I've been loving fictional characters (usually villains; no idea what that says about me :p ) for ages. It's seriously weird to observe something similar with a guy I created. 8-} Nem, your work takes my breath away. I felt like I was on that beach - I could smell the water. Thank you. I love creating new worlds, and it's great to know that they come alive for people. Of course, now I'm annoyed because the beach isn't real, but oh well. I feel your pain. This was written on a rainy afternoon in freezing northern England - wish fulfilment, anyone? :p

    slow_dawn I loved the subtly and the beautiful descriptions in this vig. Really well done story. Thanks for reading!

    Those who requested the PM continuation, thanks for reading that, too, and I hope you enjoyed it.

    Also, I was messing around recently and ended up doing a small fanart of Mairìs on Spindrift:

    [image=http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b22/JediNemesis/MM1i.jpg]

    as played in dreamland by Christian Bale.

    Thanks again to everyone who read!

    Nem :)
     
  7. Alley_Skywalker

    Alley_Skywalker Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Loved it!

    So subtle yet there's no mistaking the feelings there.

    And I love the connection between the green glass and Mairìs' green eyes :)


    =D=
     
  8. JediNemesis

    JediNemesis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Hello! Always nice to see new readers :)

    Alley_Skywalker Loved it! Awesome. I'm glad you did :D So subtle yet there's no mistaking the feelings there. And I love the connection between the green glass and Mairìs' green eyes. I'm glad the emotions came through clearly. Unsubtlety wasn't really on the cards - about the only advantage to the rule we currently have re this kind of story is that it forces you to be creative about hints and allusions ;) And the green connection is one that I've used in a few stories now, especially Seventy and Seven Shades of Green (duh :p ). I like a bit of colour :p Anyway, thanks very much for reading!

    And thank you too to whichever of my readers were kind enough to nominate this story not once but twice for the Before Awards - for Flamini as Best Male OC, and - amazingly enough - for Best Romance.

    I'm exceedingly grateful, for that second nom in particular, given the circumstances and the current rules. Thank you so much to everyone [:D]

    Nem :)
     
  9. JediNemesis

    JediNemesis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    An up, and an update on the awards situation mentioned in the previous post. Not only was this story nommed for Best Romance, not only did it qualify, but to my utter and continuing astonishment, it won.

    All I can say is, again, a huge thankyou to the readers who nominated, and to the readers - of the whole thing or merely of the awards excerpt - who voted. I'm flattered and grateful.

    I also think a SSR winning Best Romance, under the current rules, is a little bit of a milestone. Maybe I'm just a subversive. And, just as an aside, any like-minded subversives could do worse than take a look in the [link=http://boards.theforce.net/f/b1/28456254]SSR Index[/link] where Spindrift is indexed.

    Thank you, to everybody, again.

    Nem [:D]
     
  10. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Gorgeous story. I see the Eluaha as dolphins, slipping in along the waves.

    This story is so original, so creative, and so beautifully written. It's an indescribable pleasure to read something like this, which transports me so thoroughly into your world. The layers of meaning are wonderful.

    So glad I found this link. @};-
     
  11. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    Absolutely totally deserved.

    I LOVED this story. Any chance of more?

     
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