Saga Standing on Broken Dreams-AU-Obi/Ani/OC Face Inside Sequel COMPLETE 5/27!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obi_ew, Feb 27, 2003.

  1. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Disclaimer George owns all things Star Wars.Watson and Wolverton own all things JA. I am the lucky one Jivan and Desimir belong to! :)

    Summary A new Sith Lord is out to settle a score with Obi-Wan and Anakin.

    Authors note This is a sequel to my fic The Face Inside . I will most likely eventually post daily but not to start out with! :D

    Special thanks To astroanna for giving me some really good ideas! Several of which I will be using! You're the best! :)

    To Cas for giving me the original bunny which has spawned this! ;)

    To Van Hagar ( or Halen ).The title comes from my favorite song of theirs Dreams !

    To everyone who read and replied to Face ! I hope this one will be as enjoyable! [face_love]


    Flat dead eyes watched as the Senator from Alderaan's transport approached it's assigned landing platform.The Jedi's Chosen One was on that transport.The murderous traitor who had killed his Master's own Master.A black gloved hand gripped the hilt of an ornate lightsabre tightly.

    The insolent brat would pay!

    Bail breathed a sigh of relief as the ship settled on the ground without incident.Finally he was home! Grinning he turned to the figure who stood next to him and shook his head in disbelief.A blonde eyebrow lifted curiously.

    "Anything wrong Senator?" a deep voice inquired.

    Bail tried but failed to stifle a chuckle.

    "Forgive me but everytime I turn to look at you,I expect to see Obi-Wan's little tow headed Padawan.Instead I find a massive warrior staring back at me," he explained.

    A reluctant smile curved the handsome face at his admission.

    "That's allright Senator.A part of me will allways be that little Padawan,no matter how old I am," Anakin told him.

    As the young Jedi moved to secure the landing platform,Bail took a moment to study him.Anakin towered over him,which meant he had to be well over 6'2.Every inch of that tall frame was covered in pure muscle

    Allthough his garments were styled after the traditional Jedi attire,Skywalker leaned toward darker colors and leather.Allways attractive,maturity had formed his features into a breathtaking handsomeness.

    Bail had heard countless rumors of how women and often men threw themselves at the young Knight's feet.Something about the shoulder length dark blonde hair and deep blue eyes drew people to him.The fact that he was obviously powerful didn't hurt either.

    "We're ready for you Senator,"Anakin told him.

    Nodding,Bail allowed the young Jedi to escort him down the ramp.Anakin held his lightsabre up as his keen eyes swept the area for any possible threat.They had only gone a few feet when a high pitched whine suddenly rose up around them.

    Grabbing Bail's arm,Anakin shoved him down behind a nearby crate.

    "Stay down!" he ordered.

    Unaware of Organa's answering nod,he reached out through the Force.It eventually showed him the approaching threat,a single assailant on a swoop.

    Bracing himself his lightsabre held in front of him defensively,Anakin watched as the tiny dot in the distance rapidly materialized into a heavily cloaked figure.Whoever it was,he was bent over the handlebars and pushing the machine as fast as it would go.

    Prepared for a barrage of blaster fire,Anakin could only watch dumbfounded as the figure launched itself off of the swoop.Running the remaining few steps,it sprang at him with a red bladed lightsabre.He heard a low angry growl as his assailant began to batter down at him with considerable power behind each strike.

    Deflecting the blows expertly,Anakin soon became the aggressor and wielded his blade with lightening quick strikes that sent the hooded figure stumbling back.Another enraged howl rose up around them ,when suddenly the figure lifted a hand palm out and sent Anakin flying backwards with a powerful Force push.

    Bail gasped from his position as the figure slowly stalked toward the fallen knight.Reaching Anakin's side,a black gloved hand wo
  2. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    YEE HAW!

    Am I first to respond? That was a fantastic start OE! Nothing like hitting the ground running (or after hitting the side of a transport)! What a way to get your reader's attention. You've already got me hooked - not that that takes a lot.

    Really, really fantastic start!


    PS: Did I mention how great that was? :D
  3. Jedi_Suzuran

    Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Knight star 5

    May 22, 2002
    Oh geez, I had no idea you were starting it already! :eek:

    Nice start there! I'm very curious to know who is after Anakin.

  4. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Feb 3, 2003
    Yay, the sequel!

    [face_shocked] Wowza. What have you done to Anakin? It's only the first post! Yikes. [face_shocked]

    Pulling his arm back,the black hooded figure drove his red blade through the young man's thigh. That's gotta hurt.

    Bail could only watch helplessly as the young Jedi hit the hull of the transport with a sickening thud. That too. 8-}

    I like the title! (although I must say I was looking forward to froggy's suggestion of Xanitot). 8-}

  5. astroanna

    astroanna Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 8, 2002


    *claps hands in delight*

    I was wondering when you'd start this!!

    OK, I've got several things to say...

    1) You're very welcome... [face_blush] I'm so honored you'd use any part of my ideas....I think you're a great writer, and I'm very much looking forward to reading this!

    2) The title? Wonderful! :D :)

    3) An amazing first post, very intriguing, and leaves us begging for more!

    More!!! :D

    OK, one last thing...

    I may be totally dense, but who was it that attacked Anakin?

    Has Palpy taken a new apprentice?

    If the answer is totally obvious, you'll just have to humor me....

    Again, great work, obi-ew, and I can't wait for more!

  6. diamond_pony2002

    diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 6, 2002
  7. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 8, 2001
    NOthing like opening up with explosive action. Great start, great intrigue; can't wait to watch you develop the intricacies of the plot, as you do so well.

  8. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Shaindl Thought I'd get the hated action scene out of the way! :D

    JS :) Glad it caught your attention!

    HHP Ani had a bad day! :D

    astro Your ideas were brilliant! :) Struggled over the title but I like this one! This attacker is a secret! :p

    d_p2002 :)

    Cyn Here's hoping! :)
  9. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 6, 2002
    WOW! First let me say how thrilled I am that you are so dedicated (or obsessed) that you went right from Faces to giving daily posts on TOTS and NOW you have started posting the sequel. No withdrawal this time! YEAH! :D

    Secondly, WOW what a beginning. You are the first person to write an Anakin that I can stomach and now you have him battling for his life against a new Sith. That first scene was awesome and had me on the edge of my seat. I can only imagine how Obi-Wan is going to react when he gets news of this. :eek:

    Great job oe. You know me, you lead and I will follow. I can't wait for more I am thoroughly hooked. :)
  10. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 5, 2002
    Oh MY!!!

    That was a very intense chapter....I dont know what to say other then...


  11. PaddyJuan

    PaddyJuan Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 15, 2002
    oh wow.


    ** froggy eyes glued to the monitor **
  12. Phoenix_Reborn

    Phoenix_Reborn Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 23, 2003
    You mean I actually have to feel sorry that ani got shot? damn...

    *Wonders how she will see the screen with the frog glued to it*

    Fast and Furious intro...I'm hooked.
  13. Lurkalidth

    Lurkalidth Jedi Youngling star 2

    Feb 5, 2003
    What a rousing start!

    Don't know what to say. You always seem to come up with enthralling -- and highly addictive! -- series. And I'm very thankful that you see your stories through. (Imvho there's nothing as frustrating as reading the first few chapters of an extremely promising work, only to have the author move onto another story.)

    Not to be redundant, but you have a good skill at characterization. :) You have mature (plausible!) insights into the inner workings of your characters. There are no strawmen in your stories.

    Well, thanks for posting this.
  14. Cascadia

    Cascadia Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 15, 2002
    Thanks, oe for the mention, but this was all your idea. You deserve all the credit. And what a great, exciting way to start the story. Great job! :D So someone's out to kill Anakin, huh? A new Sith apprentice, perhaps?
  15. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    An aboslutely wonderful start :)
  16. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Sheila obsessed sounds about right! :p Hope this Anakin can continue to please you! ;)

    PT I'm going to try for another posty today. :D

    Froggy * scraps frog eyes off of monitor* That's better! :D

    JKH hooked Excellant! :D

    Lurkalidth [face_blush] I try not to leave my readers hanging.I know what it's like to be on your end! Thrilled you enjoy my writing! :)

    Cas You get the story behind this attacker down the road! :D

    Padawan_Kitara :) Thanks
  17. Aquas_Knight

    Aquas_Knight Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jan 12, 2002
    That was a thrilling opning scen. oe you
    really know how to make readers to ask for more. Cant wait for the next chapter.
  18. Phoenix_Reborn

    Phoenix_Reborn Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 23, 2003
    *idly wonders if she can buy Xani from Watson*

    *changes her mind*

    *thinks she abandoned him for more than 3 months*

    *goes to court*

    *claims character abandonment*

    *now owns Xani :p *

    I wish...
  19. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 14, 2002
    Aquas :) Wait is over!

    JKH I'll fight ya for him! :p


    Obi-Wan and Anakin moved away as Luminara knelt down in front of Jivan.Her elegant hands nervously straightened his clothes and smoothed the ebony locks back from his sapphire eyes.

    "Now you behave yourself,and remember everything I've taught you,"she instructed.

    Nodding solemnly,he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes.

    "When will I see you again LuLu?" he asked curiously.

    Smiling weakly,she cupped his cheek in her hand.

    "Soon Jivan.I have a few things to finish here and then I'll return to the Temple,"she assured him.

    Glancing briefly at Obi-Wan she smiled as her hands continued to brush against his hair and face.

    "Until you reach the Temple,Obi-Wan is in charge of you so be sure you mind him,"she warned.

    "I will LuLu.I promise," he said before turning eagerly toward the two Jedi. "Can we go now?"

    Obi-Wan saw Luminara flinch at his words and turned toward Anakin quickly.

    "Padawan,would you escort Jivan to the transport?"he said quietly.

    "Of course Master," Anakin replied as he took the boy's hand."Let's go Jivan."

    Luminara watched as they dissappeared out the door.The instant the door slid shut she fell into deep broken sobs.Obi-Wan hurried forward and knelt down to pull her into his arms.

    "You'll be with him soon,"he reminded her.

    Shaking her head,she clung to his robes tightly.

    "It won't be the same and you know it!Force Obi-Wan,how do parents do this?How did ours?" she asked desperately.

    "I don't know LuLu.I guess like you,they felt the child was going to a better life," he said.

    Sniffling,she trembled in his arms.

    "You'll watch over him until I arrive?"she asked.

    Pulling back,he smiled warmly and brushed the tears away from her cheeks.

    "As if he were my own,"he promised.

    Nodding,she shoved him away.

    "Go! Before I change my mind!"she urged.

    Kissing her cheek,he stood and hurried toward the waiting transport.

    Left alone,Luminara sat on the hard floor and pulled her legs against her chest.Wrapping her arms around her bent knees,she slowly rocked back and forth.

  20. Red_Jedi_Knight

    Red_Jedi_Knight Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 7, 2002
    ohhh the possibilities!! so many people who could be pissy with ani... hmmm well done can't wait for more!! as in a can't wait i want it now.. calm calm.. okay red is good now... kinda. :p
  21. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002

    That was sad, but well written as always. I must remind you however, that you left a certain young Knight bleeding and unconscious. I want answers, dear, before I have to come hunt you down. :D

    Great work, OE!

  22. CYNICAL21

    CYNICAL21 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 8, 2001
    Aw, come on, Shaindl - considering who the 'certain young knight' is - let him bleed!

    Sorry - I've overdosed on one too many of those pervasive, never-ending 'St. Anakin, Messiah who would have been ready for godhood, if not for Palpy' fics, so I'm having a normal, red-blooded reaction, as in rooting for someone to fry the little . . . darling (picture teeth gritted so tight they bleed in enunciating that word).

    But this post is so real, so perfect in its pitch and nuances; wonderfully done, oe. You captured the characters and the emotional connections beautifully - my favorite type of post.

    More soon would be nice.

  23. Padawan_Travina

    Padawan_Travina Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 5, 2002
    I agree with Cyn here Obi_ew....More would be a good idea...PLEASE???

  24. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Normally, Cyn, I would be right up there with you holding a flamethrower pointed in the general vicinity of the Chosen Brat, but, because of OE's superb writing, I actually like him in this universe. It's one of the few where I can stomach him (incidentally - your Songs is another - another great post there, BTW) and every once in a while I want to root for him.

    Besides, bad things happening to Anaking means we get to read some good Obi angst! :p

    And while I'm here, I might as well add, great post, OE!

  25. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 24, 2002
    Darn, I started reading this late, didn't find it til today! :mad:

    So I'll respond to both chapters:

    Your writing is getting better and better with every post. It's scary to imagine how good you could get! [face_shocked]
    Of course, Shakespeare himself couldn't get me to believe that anyone would throw themself at Ani's feet. :mad:

    Uh-oh. I hope my Ani bashing starting so early doesn't scare obi_ew off! ;)

    And the flashblack was beautiful, the perfect blend of sorrow and hope. You've written the characters with stunning detail.

    Great job! I'm so excited. I've missed looking for posts from you. :D