Saga STAR WARS <CLONE WARS> RISE OF THE SITH / COMPLETE

Meep! I've occassionally ventured into the forums, but this is the first time anything has made me want to chime in: I LOVE THIS FIC! It's written very well, with some incredibly fast pacing and accurate characterisation.

I only have two little gripes: First, I wish you had made an evil clone of Qui-Gon instead - think of the terrible resonance that would have for Obi-Wan! Plus an evil Jinn would make a perfect new apprentice for Dooku, instead of Dooku's predecessor... Second: The X-Wing fighter was designed by former Incom employees who defected to the Rebellion - hence it was produced after the rise of the Empire. The Z-95 Headhunter was the predecessor to the X-Wing class, so I'd imagine that that ould be the type of fighters used at this point.

As I said though, they're little points, because overall this fic is nigh on perfect! From the last post I could just imagine that droid hand with the thermal detonator... and in previous posts, things like Yoda admonishing Palps (!), Anakin and Obi-Wan's interactions, and a ton of other bits and pieces that helped make it all seem that much more real in the context of the trilogy.

Saying that, where the dialogue could have turned terribly corny (as it often does in the prequels) your snappy, quick pacing to the 'lines' has managed to avoid this, placing it, IMO, a few levels of excellence above the new films. Maybe you should help G.L. polish the editing for EpIII - if it's anything like the last two films it could use it...

Enough! Hurry up and post more!!!

 

Master Gul'dan- Holy Cow, Batman!!! This is awesome!

THAT WAS TOO COOL!!! Thanks man
(Note to my readers please check out Trevor Guldans story!! It's kicking!!!

Skywalker -Welcome back!!!! Thanks for your comments dude!!!!!!

Spooky Kid -Thanks dude!!! Love the Tarkin Icon!!!!

Vader- I would never ruin the story for you!! But I'm so happy that your really digging it!! I loved that scene with Yoda and Palpatine. When I wrote that I was like. YEAH!!!! That is Yoda. Holding his ground against anyone. But with style!! Thanks Vader!!!

Blip- WOW! WELCOME NEW READER!!!!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to check out my little story. The idea of Qui-Gon being the clone is awesome. Wished I had thought of that. But when the idea for the story first came to me. I knew that without a shadow of a doubt I was going to bring Maul back!! I just love his charcter!!! And the X-Wing thing I just wanted to help bridge the saga. Thought it would be nice to bring in Rogue Squadron and have Anakin lead them. And this one comment!

Blip-"Maybe you should help G.L. polish the editing for EpIII - if it's anything like the last two films it could use it... "

Now that was unreal!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much. I could only wish for such an opportunity to work in the SW universe. And believe me. If the opportunity ever came my way I would grab it and never let it go!!!!!

THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR BEING SO COOL!!!!

Anymore comments please post away!!!

 

Except Rougue Squadron didn't even come into being until after the 1st Death Star was Destroyed. They were called red squadron up until then.

 

My idea is that Rogue Squadron is actually a Coriellian Squadron from the clone wars that became one of the greatest fighter squadrons during that time period. And let's just say out of respect and honor of their achievements during the clone war Red Squadron became Rogue Squadron out of remeberance from the Corillian rogues. This is the take of one Stardog-d-jedi just another attempt to help bridge the saga. I thought it was cool.

 

Hmmm, I should be careful not to make TOO many of those bridges, as really they're unecessary and don't really help the story - kinda like they're there for the sake of it (see George Lucas' excessive use of bad CGI in Eps I & II).

Besides, your story REALLY doesn't need help from such set pieces - it does just fine by itself. The dialogue and many of the moments you have captured so far should be (and indeed ARE) all that is necessary for us to be easily able to imagine its place as a true EpIII.

In short: STOP FIDDLING, IT BRIDGES JUST FINE! =0D

 

This story line is really intense, I'm really getting into it and can't wait to read more of it. I really like how you have Jar Jar's dialogue down to the letter. I'm just glad I'm up to date now on reading the story, I'm going to try to keep up with it now. I think George Lucas ought to be reading this story, it's so in tune with going from Episode II to Episode III which I am impatiently waiting for, keep up the good work and I'll be waiting to read more.

 

Thanks Blip! Perhaps when the final draft comes around they will become the coriallian squadron. Also this story is only a bridge between episode 2 and 3. I'm trying to just have fun within the clone wars.

Thanks Darth Anubus! Glad to see you make it along for the ride!! I'm glad your digging the story.

The block of the writer has fallen. Begun the writers block has... AGHHH!!! Just bare with me. I'll get a new post out soon.

Anymore comments please post away!!!!

 

THE SAGA CONTINUES-

CORUSCANT-

With the destruction of the cloning facilities of Kamino the senate is in council over the vote for the construction of Cloning Operations for the Republic. Outside the grand audience chamber of the senate Mace Windu and Yoda walk along the rotunda as a disturbance in the force comes over the small Jedi Master. Yoda stands stiff and silent his hands resting upon his cane, his eyes closed tight.

?What is it?? Mace asks stopping at the Jedi?s side.

?Treachery I feel?? Yoda answers. ?Revealed itself this clone has.?

Mace looks down at Yoda, ?We?ve done all we can here. The senate is at a stand still over the vote for this clone facility. We must join Obi-Wan and General Organa on Kessel. Perhaps we could do more good in the arena of war as opposed to this arena of politics.?

?I agree.? Chancellor Palpatine adds walking from the senate chamber. ?And I shall join you on your journey to Kessel.?

?Chancellor, I do not think this is a wise decision.? Mace says.

?Master Windu, The system of Kessel will be one of our most powerful allies. If we are to truly bridge this gap between the galaxy. I must see to it personally that I represent the Republic in this alliance.? Palpatine says calmly. ?Would you not agree Master Yoda??

Yoda looks to Mace and then back to Palpatine. ?Agree I do with your intentions, but guarantee your safety we can not.?

?That it is a risk that I am prepared to take.? Palpatine says strongly.

SECTOR-28-

The Jedi and the sith circle each other like animals ready to strike at any moment. Slowly they pace their footsteps on the surface of the drill. Their eye?s never leaving the others gaze. Maul unleashes his attack. The sabers bounce off of one another in a symphony of sound, the hum and crash echoing throughout the sector. Obi-Wan blocks another attack from the sith waiting patiently for his moment to strike.

Maul lunges forward to the Jedi, their sabers crossing yet again. The high-pitched scratching of the blades deafening as Obi-Wan senses the moment and takes it. He force pushes Maul back and the Sith finds himself at the edge of the drilling platform his boots gripping the edge as he fights for his balance. He glances quickly over his shoulder to the drilling pit fifty meters in diameter and the depth endless. Obi-Wan swings is saber forward to finish the sith as Maul pulls the force to him throwing himself over top of the Jedi and Obi-Wan to the pit. The Jedi flies over the side falling as he stabs the side of the drill in placement with his saber breaking the fall. He holds on for his life as the light saber slowly begins to cut through the metal plating of the drill leaving a white hot trail of liquid metal above it, the metal dropping onto the hands of the Jedi singing his grip. Obi-Wan looks up to see Maul starring at him from above then he looks below to the endless depths as the drilling laser of the drill tunnels onward.

Maul extinguishes his light saber and clips it to his belt. He looks to the Jedi with rage as he extends his right arm out pulling the force to his hand. The fuel line streaming fire down the side of the drill comes alive and swings wildly into the air as the sith catches it holding it high. The flames extending a hundred feet into the air swirling like a tornado. Obi-Wan?s eyes grow wide as he tries desperately to get a foothold on the side of the drill surface to slow his decent. Maul Smiles down at the Jedi holding the flaming torch over him. The sith looks to the flames the heat sending sweat streaming down his face as the flames start to blow forward from the wind. Maul looks puzzled as he glances over his shoulder to see Anakin?s fighter scream right over top of him. The gust of the wind sending the sith to the air, the fuel line pulled from its grasp. Maul flies over the drilling pit his body smacking the ground hard BAAAMMM!! The sith rolls several yards before he stops, the dust of the earth covering his black tunic. Maul looks up to see the Jedi fighter circle around the sector quickly and land.

 

Wow! First of all apologies about missing a couple of posts StarDog have been rather occupied this past week or so with rehearsals for a band contest every night.

First of I'm still amazed by the way you write your battle scenes - keep up the good standard! I must admit I wasn't really a fan of fast-paced action till I read this story, but it is highly entertaining! What on earth is going on with Anakin? Can't wait to find out, update soon!

 

Another great installment !

I particulalry enjoyed the duel between Obi Wan and Maul.

I love some of your descriptions.

"a symphony of sound" That's really great !

I'm repeating myself, but I have to say, your style is always so vivid. The action is always very fast paced, and I find myself racing through each chapter, as if I am actually watching a short cartoon episode.

I thought you handled Palpatine very well in this chapter too. His dialogue was pretty much spot on. I could hear McDiarmid delivering those lines

Keep up the good work !

 

Great job on the Maul/Obi-Wan battle.

Palpatine with Mace and Yoda? This can't be good.

Great post, Stardog!

 

Yet another instense and action packed post, Stardog. I like how you give such great attention to details and your descriptions. I liked the Dual between Obi-Wan and Maul, it was great, keep up the good work, it's getting harder to wait between posts.

 

Obi-wan facing off against Maul and Ventress? with Palpatine coming? And Anakin fighting like that?

Throw Dooku in the mix, and it's an all-out knock-down drag-out battle straight from the Sith Wars.

Of course, you did warn us that it's a dark and action-packed ride.

 

Well Alright!!!!!!

Thanks everyone for your cooler than cool comments!!!!!!

I just want to take this time to say a few things to you guys. Just about everyone of you I'm sure is a writer and you know the time and devotion it takes to bring the words together to create a story. This story is consuming more of my time (which equals life) than I ever dreamed. And I know that without a shadow of a doubt that with out your continued support. Without your comments and the time that you make from your own lives to read my story and to leave me helpful feed back that drives the saga onward. I would have given up long ago. You would never believe just how much it means to me that you guys do take that time. I owe each and everyone of you big time. Well now!!! With that I must say...

THANKS DARTH ARWEN!!!!!

THANKS DARTH WALKEN!!!!

THANKS GINA!!!!!!!

THANKS DARTH ANUBUS!!!!!!!!

THANKS TY-GON JINN!!!!!!!!!

THANKS CRYSTAL KENOBI!!!!

THANKS KEEPER OF THE SWORDS!!!!!

THANKS JED-SKYWALKER!!!!!!!

THANKS JKG-VADER!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS TREVOR-GUL'DAN!!!!!

THANKS BLIP!!!!!!!

THANKS SPOOKY KID!!!!!!!!!!

you guys are the greatest!!!!!

And everyone else... THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!

From the dog in the stars your friendly neighborhood Jedi...

Anyone else? Please post away!

 

No problem, STARDOG It's really no trouble at all ! It's always a pleasure to read through your stories.

 

Thanks Darth-Walken!!! Hope to have the next post up by next week.

Anymore comments? Please post away!!!

 

PHEW !!!!....INTENSE...LOVED IT.

 

THANKS!!!! SPOOKY KID!!!!

It's going to get even more intense real soon.

Anymore comments? Please post away!!!

Stay cool

 

HEY GUYS!!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Your comments make all the difference!!! Please post away!!!!!!!!

 

Man I love Sundays!!!! Writing day!!!!

And with that...

New post coming tomorrow night!!!!

Till then?

Any comments are most welcome!!!

Stay cool!!!

I know I am I have about 7 inches of snow outside right now!!!!! WOW!!!!

 

THE SAGA CONTINUES-

THE SPICE MINE OF SECTOR-28-

The techno union labor droids scavenge the spice from deep within the mine. Several droids carrying trays of spice are making their way across the dark tunnel as one small droid trips over a rock protruding from the ground and falls over, the tray of spice spilling onto the ground. The droid shakes its circuits the ever-present black spice falling from the droids plating. He bends down to collect the tray just as the swoop bike of the sith screams right over top of him the gust of wind knocking the droid over. The droid shakes it?s circuits again and begins to stand just as Anakin?s swoop plows into it. BAM!!! The droid hangs from the front of the swoop racing through the mine looking puzzled to the Jedi as Anakin looks surprised back at the droid. The Jedi throws the bike upside down quickly causing the little droid to fly off of the front ruder of the swoop. BAM! CRASH! TAP! TAP! SCREETCH!!!! The droid skids along the rocks and then lies silently on the ground of the mine yards away from the tray as it starts to stand and is immediatly crushed flat to the ground by a mining cart entering the tunnel from a side passage. CRUSHHHH!!!!

Anakin Skywalker?s swoop dives deeper and deeper into the mine of the planet. The Black spice seems endless as it glitters across the walls of the tunnel as the Jedi closes in on the sith. Maul glances behind him quickly to the Jedi in pursuit. Anakin?s swoop wines from the pressure of the throttle pushed to it?s limits as the Jedi dodges several mining carts entering the tunnel from the side passages, black dust and soot cloud the Jedi?s vision as he squints his eye?s to the darkness ahead, only the tail lights of the sith ahead of him visible.

?Just like pod racing back home!!? Anakin says to himself, gripping the handler bars of the bike.

Maul draws his light saber from his belt clip and slows his swoop just enough for the Jedi to catch up with him. Anakin unfastens his saber as he closes in on the sith. The Jedi and the sith glance at each other momentarily as they both ignite their light sabers. CRACK HISS!!! The sound from both sabers echoes through the mining tunnel. Both swoops drop low to the ground barely skidding the surface as they duck under a repluser mining cart crossing the tunnel, the hum of the blades reverberating throughout the tunnel as the bikes zoom back up racing on. Anakin and Maul swing their swoops together with a loud CLANG!! Of metal against metal as they clash their light sabers together, the sparks from the blades leaving a trail of light behind the swoops. Both warriors in perfect sync with the force parry each others attacks never taking their eyes from the twisting blackness of the tunnel, the blades blurring against the speed as the swoops race deeper into the darkness, the glow of the sabers is now the only light visible. The Jedi and the sith continue their battle of speed as they lock sabers the arc illuminating their faces revealing the clinched teeth and hatred in both their eyes.

A bright light blinds the two warriors momentarily as they pull off their attack in time to focus their vision on a massive spice hauler blocking their path. Anakin and Maul simultaneously break off their race and each dive into adjacent side passages of the tunnel the Sith to the left while Anakin takes the right. Anakin glances to his left at the cracks in the tunnels walls revealing the sith glaring back at him the red glow of it?s light saber illuminating it?s face. Anakin looks ahead to the exit of the tunnel. A steel beam fallen across the exit blocks his escape. The Jedi closes his eye?s concentrating and then opens them slinging his light saber ahead of him. The blade flies through the air end over end as it cuts through the beam the two sides falling apart as his swoop barely passes. SCRAAPPPEEE!!! Anakin reaches his right hand back and pulls the force to him his saber flies through the darkness smacking his hand hard as he ignites it just as he enters the main tunnel and rams his bike into the sid

 

Hello! Once again an action packed and suspenseful post! I loved your idea of having a swoop bike race through the mines.

Anakin glances to his left at the cracks in the tunnels walls revealing the Sith glaring back at him the red glow of it's light saber illuminating it's face

Your description of the pursuit was so vivid I could really picture the scene in my head.

I also liked Anakin's perhaps slightly cocky comment about pod-racing - "Just like pod racing back home!!"

The fight between Asajj and Luminara was also very fast and entertaining to read, I liked the small amount of dialogue you chose to put in, it was very in keeping with the mood of the Star Wars films -

"Now... you will... die!"

Loved the section right at the end when Asajj brought her lightsaber across Obi-Wan's hull, that was very action moviesh (is that a word?!) Oh dear, looks like Obi-Wan's peristently helpful nature has left him in trouble yet again!
Looking forward to the next post!

 

I agree with DarthArwen. This is another great chapter

I particularly enjoyed the swoop chase through the spice mines. It reminded me of the speeder chase in Return Of The Jedi, crossed with the mine cart chase in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom !

It was really fast paced. I loved the way that from time to time, the two swoops would get separated, and have to take different routes through the mine. It was really exciting, and your descriptions really conveyed a strong sense of kinetic energy. It flowed very well as an action scene.

I also enjoy the way you cut back and forth, between several diffent scenarios. Obviously this is a staple of the Star Wars saga, but you handle the transitions very well. You seem to "cut" from scene to scene, at just the right moment.

For me, this chapter seemed to combine the feel of the prequel trilogy and the classic trilogy. It had the feel of the classic trilogy space battles, combined with various prequel characters, and prequel style action sequenes. Your use of language was very vivid, and I raced through the chapter It left me quite breathless !

Keep up the great work !

 

Alright!!! Alright!!!

DARTH ARWEN- "that was very action moviesh (is that a word?!)"

I don't know? But I Love it!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Darth Arwen!!!

DARTH WALKEN-" It left me quite breathless !

YEAH!!!! That was too cool!!

Thanks Darth Walken!!!

Out of sight comments!!

Anyone else? Please post away!!! Your comments likes these make all the difference!!!

 

The Jedi and the sith continue their battle of speed as they lock sabers the arc illuminating their faces revealing the clinched teeth and hatred in both their eyes.

Great descriptions.


As always, I loved the action, but I also liked how you added humor in this post with the droid incident at the beginning. It really reminded me of how Lucas often uses the droids for comic relief in the midst of the action in the films, such as Threepio's predicament during the arena battle in AOTC.


?Just like pod racing back home!!? Anakin says to himself, gripping the handler bars of the bike.

Loved how you alluded to the original trilogy in this post. This line made me think of a line Luke had near the end of ANH, about just like shooting womp rats back home (something like that, I think ). Anyway, like father, like son.