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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Star's Worst Movies: Gary Oldman: Tiptoes (2004)

Discussion in 'Archive: The Amphitheatre' started by Nevermind, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. Nevermind

    Nevermind Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 2001
    Sylvester Stallone: Eye See You (2002)

    Costarring Tom Berenger and Charles Dutton

    Tagline: ''Survival is a killer''

    "Originally titled D-Tox back when it still had hopes of a wide release, this sluggish stockpile of stale serial-killer ­clichés spent three years in ­limbo before eking out a blink-and-you'll-miss-it theatrical run. Sly plays an FBI agent haunted by the murder of his girlfriend with a power drill and is sent to a remote clinic for post-traumatic stress disorder. As a blizzard rolls in, one patient starts offing his fellow ­inmates, and it's up to you-know-who to save the day. The punny title refers to the ­killer's calling card ? in one case he writes the letters ''ICU'' ­inside his victim's eyelids."

    Most Embarrassing Moment Never one to let a double entendre go to waste, Stallone impales the ­killer on a spike while uttering, ''I see you. You see...this?!''


    Haven't these people ever seen "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot"?
     
  2. The_Four_Dot_Elipsis

    The_Four_Dot_Elipsis Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2005
    It's still called D-Tox, I thought. Never heard of Eye See You.

    I admittedly haven't seen much Stallone. Some of it looks astonishingly bad, like that Bob Clark one, and SOMMWS.

    Worst one I've seen that he's in is Rocky IV. That film is such a con job - it's about 40% new footage, spliced in with montages of the previous films.
     
  3. Nevermind

    Nevermind Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 14, 2001
    Gary Oldman: Tiptoes (2004)

    Costarring Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, and Peter Dinklage

    Tagline: ''It's the little things in life that matter''

    "Where to begin with this drama about two brothers, one normal size (McConaughey) and the other a dwarf (Oldman)? How about the trailer, which not only trumpets ''When the going gets rough, it's only the size of your heart that counts'' but also boasts Gary Oldman ''in the role of a lifetime!''? Or the fact that that role of a lifetime requires him to kneel to play a Southern-accented little person named Rolfe? Tiptoes undercuts its heavy-handed message by ­taking every opportunity to ­fetishize McConaughey's hairless chest. Folks, we give you the holy grail of awful movies!

    Most Embarrassing Moment Oldman walks in on his little-person ­girlfriend having sex with a ­Little Richard look-alike played by David Alan Grier."
     
  4. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    It's called Eye See You where I am. I've seen it in the video store called by that name.