Did you ever wonder 'What if the Stranger Things characters went to storage locker auctions instead of fighting monsters'? No? Well, then this is your lucky day, because I did! This has no romantic pairings, no plot, and no point at all, it's just pure crack. I posted a vignette set in this verse as part of last summer's Fanfic Olympics, but I have no real endpoint in mind, and I don't even really know a lot of details - are the kids older? Is it a modern AU? Do characters like Barb and Robin show up, or just the main bunch? Who knows, I sure don't. I decided to post it for Evil Author Day because I'd like to turn it into a proper story someday but I don't know when that day will be, if ever. As a bonus, this is entirely in rough draft form, and at the end you'll get to see a few of the ideas for future scenes/installments that I was too lazy to actually write out! Enjoy, and thanks for reading! It was a bright, sunny day in Hawkins but Steve didn't want to go outside. He was sitting on the couch, slumped miserably, flipping through channels. Someone knocked on the door. They didn't go away when he ignored them, instead knocking harder and shouting "Steve! Steve, open up! I know you're home." Groaning, Steve got up and yanked the door open to find Dustin grinning at him. "There's a big auction today, buddy," he said, words spilling out of his mouth. "Come on, you can't miss it. We can find some really cool stuff." "I don't know, Dustin," Steve said. "Come on!" Dustin looked hopeful. "Please?" "Fine." Steve sighed, unable to resist Dustin's pleading. One time at an auction Steve was trying to move a box from a locker he'd bought because he was sure there was treasure inside. Unfortunately the box was supporting a pile of boxes and he hadn't really thought it through when he tugged the box from underneath them and the whole stack slipped. Dustin had suggested maybe it would be a good idea if someone tagged along in case Steve found himself in those situations again, and he also suggested that Steve split any profits with that someone. Dustin proved to have a good eye, and it was nice most of the time having a friend along on the long drives between auctions, even if they ended up bickering a lot. He got ready and soon they were in the car heading to the auction site. Dustin was chattering away animatedly. As soon as they pulled up Steve slumped lower in his seat. "Nancy's here," he said. "Yeah," Dustin said. "I told you, it's a big auction. Ignore her, whatever." They got out of the car and walked over to where everyone was gathering for the auction. Steve avoided talking to Nancy and Jonathan, but Dustin pulled on his sleeve. "Steve, one o'clock," he hissed. "Huh?" Steve looked at his watch. "It's only 10." "Harrington!" Billy barreled up to him, ignoring everyone else at the auction. "Knew you'd come crawling back eventually." Steve crossed his arms. "I've been busy. At the store." Billy laughed. "Busy crying over Wheeler, more like. You gonna buy anything today?" "Like I'd tell you," Steve said. He turned to Dustin. "Come on." "Alright, everyone, listen up!" Everyone turned their attention to Hopper, who was standing near the gate with his wife and assistant, Joyce. "You all know how this works," Hopper shouted. "Look inside the units - look, don't touch - make your bids, and pay the lady on the way out. Good?" Everyone nodded and crowded around, eager to get started. "This way, folks!" Joyce called. -"Is that Harrington bidding?" "Yeah, it's me." -The kids are arguing over whether or not to bid on a unit. El, who was Hopper's adopted/foster daughter, had an uncanny ability to find Kellogg's collectibles, specifically Eggos merchandise. -Max tricks Dustin into revealing there's something sort of valuable in a locker, and her and Billy steal it and are very gleeful over that. -Nancy and Jonathan keep getting outbid and when they do buy a locker it's crap. -The kids take Barbies to their 'expert', Erica, and she trades Lucas chores for them? -Somebody finds a bunch of Hawkins Lab documents or government secrets stuff and takes it to their conspiracy expert, Murray, only to find out they're either extremely valuable or fake.