T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes

for anyone who wants help on combat parts, I'm quite god at writing largescale ground combat and fleet battles, not relly good on the 1V1 parts.

for me the easyest thing to do, when you have problems with ground combat is to draw the scean , or if you have some kind of ground combat game use it(I find shogun, and galatic battleground, Empire earth to be quite usefull).

about large scale fleet combat, same thing only drawing is harder, and visulising is effective.

 

for anyone who wants help on combat parts, I'm quite god at writing largescale ground combat and fleet battles, not relly good on the 1V1 parts.

for me the easyest thing to do, when you have problems with ground combat is to draw the scean , or if you have some kind of ground combat game use it(I find shogun, and galatic battleground, Empire earth to be quite usefull).

about large scale fleet combat, same thing only drawing is harder, and visulising is effective.

 

Thanks for the help, Tim.

 

Thanks for the help, Tim. >

No problem!

-Tim

 

I've got a kind-of space battle here from the fic I'm working on. Actually, it's more of an escape than a real battle, but it involves some combat, so it counts. If anyone wants to comment on/critique it, go ahead.

In this scene, our protagonists have come out of hyperspace in the middle of a Yuuzhan Vong fleet. They're trying to escape back into hyperspace.
--------------------

Janie grinned as she threw the Banthadownwards. The ship responded as if it were reading her mind, moving almost before she pulled the control stick. The rush was exhilarating. She had forgotten how much she loved flying. Dimly, she heard the thrumming of the quads. Damon and Falco missed more often than not, but it was enough to keep the skips from getting too close.

Leia, sitting in the copilot?s chair, tried to relax her death grip on the console in front of her, but it was hard with the ship going in several different directions at the same time. She watched one display the whole time, relaxing visibly when a light came on.

?Hyperspace jump is plotted! If you?re going to get us out of here, do it now.?

Janie had to keep the ship flying straight for a few seconds while preparing for the jump into hyperspace. In that time, the coralskippers pounded the rear shields. They gave out, and something made a loud bang in the back. Janie could smell ozone. Warning lights lit up the board as she pulled back the hyperdrive control levers.

Nothing happened.

She turned to Leia.

?I think they took out our hyperdrive.?

Leia buried her face in her hands.

?What is it with my escapes and hyperdrives??

?Well, you are frequently in situations where the rear portion of your ship is exposed to enemy fire, and since the hyperdrive is often located in the rear of a ship, it makes sense- ?

?Not now, Threepio!?

Janie called into the comm as she threw the ship sideways.

?Colonel Pythias, the hyperdrive is damaged. Can you check it out??

?Right.?

He climbed down the ladder, jumping the last few rungs, then raced back to the hyperdrive.

The ship lurched as something struck the hull. Janie quickly resumed evasive maneuvers. Leia looked up, an idea forming in her mind.

?How many torpedoes do we have??

?Twenty. Why??

?Launch them all.?

?All of them? At what??

?Just launch them straight ahead. Kill their thrust after two seconds.?

Threepio raised an arm in protest.

?But how will they track towards their targets with no thrust??

?Shut up, Threepio!?

Janie armed the torpedoes and launched them all, two at a time. They sped ahead for two seconds, then blinked out, inertia carrying them forward. Leia concentrated on the torpedoes, imagined them turning, heading back towards the pursuing coralskipper formation. They slowed, turning, and started moving back.

?Get ready to detonate them.?

Her face broke out with sweat as she strained. She had never done anything like this before. Maybe a rock or two, but twenty torpedoes?

She pulled the torpedoes close to each other and sent them towards the center of the coralskipper group. Then she waited, waited?

?Now!?

Janie pushed a button. A fierce white light blossomed behind them, dimming the cockpit windows. A wave of energy slammed into the ship, throwing them around. Threepio wailed in mechanical dismay. The cockpit instruments flickered out, then came back online. When Janie checked her rear scope, there were half as many skips following her. The rest were scattered through space in clumps of debris. They had been unable to track the torpedoes without the thrust trails, and were caught off-guard when Janie detonated them.

?Nice. Very nice.?

The surviving skips threw caution to the wind, approaching at full speed and firing wildly. The rear shields took several direct hits and fell again. Cursing, Janie threw the ship around, facing the skips with full front shields. Leia started firing the laser cannons.

Threat indicators started wailing in the cockpit.

?Oh dear! More ships coming out of hyperspace, directly behind us! We?re

 

Just found this and boy amd I glad!!! My fanfic has been largely character driven and dialogue-oriented, but i am coming to a cusp where there will be a battle, and i am hopeless about it.

I would be grateful if anyone would be willing to help me with the battle scenes /// essentially it is a battle between a bunch of renegade Bothans, some Imps who think Thrawn is still alive against some modern Imperials who work with the NR forces, Luke, Mara and Rogue Squadron and Karrde and his crew ... the Bothans intend to take over Centerpoint and our heros have to thwart them

If anyone is interested, please respond or PM me. Thanks

Ands if it comes to it, would it be acceptable to post some stuff here for a critique? I see others have done that.

 

Up for anyone who might need advice on action scenes.

 

Apologizing for being lax in my beta reading here, I've been a bit preoccupied with my own stories but I'll try to get to the other posts here ASAP...or if any one else wants to help, they're welcome to it.

-Tim

 

Hi!

this thread is really cool. could somrone takke a peek at this and tell me what they think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corran grinned. This reminds me of when I was trying for Rogue Squadron.
?You in there Whistler?? he asked. The green and white astromech droid burbled positively and Corran checked his readouts. All systems are go. He thumbed the comm.
?Green group, this is Lead. Do you copy??
? Green two reporting in?
?Green three reporting in?
Once Inyri had reported in, the four X-wings split into an escort formation around the Pulsar Skate . Mirax?s voice crackled into life over Corran?s headset.
?Green Lead, I?ve got two flights of Halberd class fighters coming in at attack vectors. That?s eight Birdie?s?
?We?re on ?em, Skate ? Corran targeted the leading ship and keyed up schematic of the ship on one of his secondary monitors.
All of fifteen metre?s long, the Halberd class fighter had two trapezoid wings sprouting from a central core. The three engines mounted on its rear gave it a nifty turn of speed. An extended storage area mounted behind gave the pilot an ability to carry off a large amount of spoils, making it a favourite for many of the pirate groups that operated throughout inhabited space. As well as a shield generator, the fighter carried twin lasers, a nose mounted iron cannon and a pair of concussion missile launchers, making it a fearsome opponent in a dogfight. They were hyperspace capable, but as Corran hadn?t picked them up coming out of hyperspace he couldn?t be sure that there wasn?t a capital ship lurking out of sensor range.
?Lead, this is a training sim, so shall we use our torps?? asked Gavin, breaking in on his thoughts.
?Well, we were given them, so I?d say yes. Give the hopefuls a chance to dogfight though?
The leading pair suddenly launched two concussion missiles each, the pink projectiles jetting over the cockpits of their launching ships. The second pair followed suit.
Corran set himself to gunning down the missiles. Flipping his lasers over to dual fire, he swept his fire over the missiles, destroying all four before they posed a real threat. Killing his thrust, he quaded up his lasers and programmed a set of microjumps into the navcomputer, keeping a wary eye glued to the sensor board at the same time.
?Whistler, keep those updated so we?ll always end up behind the second flight. Send the co-ordinates to Smiley.? The droid complied with a chirp. And sent the data stream to Ooryl?s R5 Unit.
?Gavin, you and Inyri take lead.? Corran ordered. ?Twom, on my mark, make the micro jumps your astromech is receiving.?
?Copy that Lead.? Corran followed the engine glows of Inyri?s ship as she swooped in on the enemy fighters.
Leading Ooryl round in a turn to port, Corran made sure that the X-wing?s nose was pointed directly towards the Pulsar Skate . They must think we are trying to approach the combat from a different angle. He smiled. In essence they are not far wrong.
?Three, Four keep them busy.? He put his had on the hyperspace lever. ?Okay Ooryl, let?s go. Three, two, one... Mark!?
Pulling down on the lever, he watched the stars turn into lines and then back to dots as the sip reverted back to real space. Only pausing to check that his wingman was with him, he made the second and third micro jumps.
The first jump had taken behind the Pulsar Skate . Although the Halberds knew the direction of the jump, the Skate?s mass meant that trainees had no idea where they had come out of hyperspace. As they swooped round, it meant they would be able to engage the smaller ships in a dogfight where their numerical superiority would give them the advantage. If the microjumps had been a part of a diversion to split the force in half with the X-wings jumping back to combat the other flight on equal terms, then they could complete their mission by destroying Mirax?s freighter.
The second and third jumps put them directly behind the Halberds, ri

 

Uppers!

 

There's a big thing to remember when doing action scenes, atleast for 1st or 3rd person perspectives.

Most characters have 5 senses; why not use them?

I tend to see that too many people rely simply on sight and hearing-- there's three others, although even I'll admit that it would take some creativity to find a place for taste (but if you successfully could, it would make it all the better).

The five senses, for those of you who live in a closet, are:

1. Sight
2. Hearing
3. Touch
4. Taste
5. Smell

I'll see if I can write something up here, using as many senses as I can. You can trully immerse a reader if he knows EXACTLY what the environment is like where the characters are fighting.

----


With a flick of his wrist, Korran's azure blade sprung to life, illuminating the once active foundry. He stepped sideways and watched as Lerin's whitish-green blade snapped and hissed as it ignited.

Lerin stood tall, holding his saber-- its hilt extended for double-handed use-- upright like a sentry. His feet were wide apart, his face stoic. He nodded slowly, opting for his body language to do the talking.

His body langauge said 'Defeat me, if you can.'

Tearing himself from his stance, Korran jumped from the permacrete floor. Grit and dust kicked up from his heels as he slammed down on Lerin, forcing the lightsabers against eachother. The energy blades crackled and hissed in protest as they were forced together, but Lerin showed did not share their distress. Placing a foot back, he pushed forward against Korran's blade.

Finding himself to be losing this stand-off, Korran spun away from it, using his saber to keep Lerin at a comfortable distance, should he decide to follow.

To Korran's surprise, Lerin was already following. Having predicted his cross-slash, Lerin ducked low, avoiding exposing his innards to the stale and humid foundry-air.

Korran brought his saber back along the same path, forcing Lerin back once more. It frustrated Korran to see the calm look on his face; He wanted to twist it, to make him learn what pain was really about.

Lerin moved forward, spinning his saber viciously in what seemed like a grim-parody of a baton-twirler. The sabers blurred as they clashed together, the hisses and screams of pure energy bouncing off the solid walls of the derelict foundry.

As they fought, Korran made his way backward to a catwalk that lead over a chasm-- a place where they had dumped molten metal long ago. As he felt his boot clank against the ancient metal of the catwalk, Korran forced back a smile. He was leading Lerin right where he wanted him.

Lerin pushed Korran further along the catwalk, moving deeper and deeper into the darkness. Only their weapons illuminated their surroundings now; they knew that a step in any direction save forward and backward would mean a long, hard plummet that would eventually end with steel that had millenia to cool.

Korran fended off a particularly hard strike from Lerin, stumbling back only slightly. He needed space. Throwing out his hand, he used the Force to propel Lerin backward along the catwalk.

Lerin was caught unawares as an invisible hand picked him up and flung him backward, sending him skidding along. The fingers in his left hand fumbled for purchase on the oily metal as he felt his body teeter over edge, his left hand clinging tightly to his still ignited lightsaber. As Lerin went over, his nimble fingers finally caught the edge, suspending himself over edge of the abyss.

Korran didn't waste any time. He jumped forward, bring his saber straight down at Lerin. As the saber screamed toward Lerin, he swung his body forward, flipping up and around the catwalk with the aid of the force. He landed on the opposite edge.

Korran's blade had swung directly through the catwalk, cleaving it in two. The ancient structure creaked as it began to buckle, heaving the two combatants up and down as they struggled to keep their balance, as well as their lives.

Lerin ducked a quick lunge to his head as Korran back stepped, searching desper

 

Great stuff, Loka. Indeed, combat is an experience which terrifies all the senses. Tell you what everybody, in a little bit I'll post a short bit from a huge battle scene I am writing and see what you think of it.

-Tim

 

Jadesaber2: A good scene, and I liked how you wrote nervous threepio. Just watch out for repetitive words. Instead of "ran back to the hyperdrive" maybe "towards the ship's stern" or "to the engine room."

 

Speldorion: You do a great job imitating Stackpole's style, but a little advice that'll make life easier for your readers: Put a blank line between paragraphs.

-Tim

 

I just make it up as I go along. Never even thought to worry about whether it was realistic or not. I do have a nasty habit of writing a dull third person scene though.

 

Cool idea for a thread! The thing I find really hard is remembering all the things in the Falcon / X Wing or whatever that I can use. If I had that clear in my head it would be great!

Is there a resource of ship parts I can use? - like, what could be breaking and going wrong for the most part! I know there's the Millenium Falcon site which I'll check later, but I'm not sure if it has this.

In a previous fan fic I just got out Jedi Search and saw what different things Han and Chewie were doing in the scene over Kessel, took the ship parts and had them do something else with them.

 

Oh, forgot to say - some really great ideas on how to write action thanks everyone! I'll definitely try some out - like actually acting out the fight to see what positions you end up in and what things feel like - that sounds like a perfect idea!

 

an X-wing has 4 laser cannons, 2 proton torpedo launchers and can carry 12 of them. it has 4 engines, s-foils, shields, and a hyperdrive. it carries either an R2 or an R5 astromech droid, (like the yellow one in tpm)

 

basically, starfighter systems break down something like this:

Repulsorlift
Sublight engines
Hyperdrive (if applicable)
Maneuvering thrusters
Weapons (usually blaster/ion cannon and/or missile type weapons)
Shields (if applicable)
Life support
Avionics (i.e. controls, instruments, etc)
Astromech (if applicable)
"airframe"

So any of these systems could suffer failure.

-Tim

 

Thanks both of you! Stuff like that definitely comes in handy for me - it ruins my concentration if I suddenly have to stop and think for ages about the name of something that could break at a crucial moment!

 

Here's a couple terms one can use in large scale ground battles.

Flanking-- The attack of an exposed side of the army. Usually fast, quickly deployed troops are best suited for this. They attack an enemy where they are least prepared, usually from the side or rear (aka the flank).

Orbital Bombardment-- This is obvious, but for the sake of completion it's included. Ships or space stations orbiting the planet in question often offer help by blasting the enemy with lasers or missles. These are fairly unaccurate, but keep the enemy's head down.

Ordnance-- This is used much the same was as orbital bombardment. Artillery far behind the front lines fire large, devestating rounds at the enemy. Like orbital bombardment, ordnance is usually used to shake the enemy up rather than actually cause casualties-- although it is very destructive when it actually does hit something.

"Pinning fire" or "being pinned"-- To be pinned is to be stuck behind cover while being shot at continually, offering no chance for advancement or retreat. Any sort of move in any direction would mean destruction. Pinning fire can eliminate the threat of an enemy just as effectively as actually destroying them. An enemy that keeps his head down rarely fires back.

Sweeping Advance-- A sweeping advance is when a unit overpowers enemy after enemy, moving steadily forward with little to no opposition. This rarely happens, but a good example is a Jedi hacking his way through a squad of battle droids.

Extraction/Drop/Landing/Deployment Zones-- Designated areas where units are either deployed or picked up by drop ships.

Cover fire-- This is done when one unit fires at an enemy in order to draw fire from another friendly unit, allowing it to advance, retreat, get into cover, etc. This can be done on a man to man basis as well.

well, these are the ones that i have on the top of my head. I know there's more, I just can't think of any at the moment.

 

Loka:

Good stuff.

Flanking attacks often take a form using two forces, a fixing force and a flanking force. The force fixing the enemy pins him down and immobilizes him while the flanking force maneuvers into postion.

This is similar to the "bounding overwatch" method of advance where one or two units will supress the enemy with fire while another unit will advance. Then the advancing unit will provide fire support while the other units leapfrog forward and then the process begins again.

There is also infiltration: a force slips through the enemy lines in preparation for the main attack.

-Tim (more on this later)

 

Regarding your definition of "ordinance": I believe artillery bombardment would be the term you are looking for as ordinance refers to the shells/missiles/bombs/rockets etc themselves.

Artillery can take on other types of fire missions as well, including:

1. Fire support: direct support of ground units, often called in by specially trained artillery forward observers.

2. Harrassment and Interdiction: shelling enemy supply routes, roads on which he may be moving, or areas in which he is likely to be. Another example would be firing on a concentration of troops in the enemy's rear areas.

3. Bombardment: Can be either concentrated fire before an assault to soften up enemy positions or protracted shelling of the enemy during a seige type situation. Oftentimes preparatory bombardments (in Earth warfare, anyway,) are also used to detonate/expose mines or destroy obstacles.

4. Counterbattery fire: Namely, dueling enemy artillery.

I'm a little lost as to the role of indirect fire ground-based artillery weapons in the GFFA. Does anyone know specifics about the weapons and the different types of artillery ordinance availiable?

-Tim

 

I've never really heard of artillery being used in Star Wars unless you count AT-ATs as artillery?

 

As for Artillery, I'm sure, although we haven't seen any in movies, there must be some.

The gungans in TPM used catapults as their artillery, lobbing those blue balls into the ranks of droids from afar. That, so far, is the only use of Ordnance, or Artillery --as I was so quickly corrected -- in SW that I've seen.

AT-ATs wouldn't necessarily count as artillery. That term is usually reserved for stationary weaponry capable of firing long distances. An AT-AT would be armoured mobile artillery, putting it in the same categories as our tanks.

EDIT: A also remember those large turbolaser cannons in the second movie, manned by the clone warriors... those would definately count as support artillery.