This bit of insanity is the result of the desert sun. You put someone who grew up with gray skies into a city that is always sunny, they are bound to go crazy. This is not a typical RM story. You have been warned. None of the characters are mine, thought I have first dibs on Luke should he become available.

**

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

Darth Vader stood with his gloved hand stretched out in front of him. His voice boomed. ?You don?t know the power of the dark side.?

He shifted on his booted feet, clenching his gloved hand in a fist. Taking his voice down a couple of decibels, he said, ?You don?t know the POWer of the dark ssside.?

Not right yet, not menacing enough, though the volume was better. Once more with feeling. ?You don?t know the??

?Anakin! Are you done in there yet??

Vader quickly removed the helmet, setting it on the counter, and turned off the water. He spun around and hastily unlocked the refresher door, coming face to face with his wife. ?Yes, Angel. I?m finished.?

She tried to peek around him. ?I thought I heard that vocoder. You weren?t wearing that horrid mask, were you??

He managed to get into the bedroom and close the refresher door without her seeing the aforementioned mask. ?I only wear it to work, just like I promised you.?

Placing her hands on her hips, she contemplated his words. ?Speaking of work. Today is ?take your daughter to work day?.?

He tried to shrug, but found it difficult with the weight of his armor. It looked wizard but it was heavy. ?So? Leia always goes to work with you.?

?She?s not going with me. She?s going with you.?

?What! Padmé, she cannot go to work with me,? Anakin whined. ?I have to tort?er tutor some prisoners.?

?Leia loves to teach. She?ll get them rehabilitated in no time.?

?We?re going on patrol. I can?t have a ten-year-old with me for that long.?

?Anakin. She?s twenty and she?ll be fine. Besides, I?ve already spoken to the Chancellor and he says it?s okay.?

He frowned at her. ?You talked to my boss without telling me? That was underhanded.?

Padmé brought her fingers to his face. ?I learned from the best. And don?t frown, you?ll get wrinkly.? Then she kissed him and left.

Wrinkly? Anakin rushed back into the refresher and stared into the mirror. Finding the offending wrinkle, he applied some anti-aging cream. There was no way he was going to end up looking like Palpatine.

**

?Leia?? Vader called into his daughter?s room. It was getting late and he needed to get to work. Clasping his hands behind his back, he started to pace back and forth.

Finally the door slid open and his daughter came out. He was grateful that he was already wearing the mask so she couldn?t see his shocked expression. She had on a golden bikini that revealed more skin than he ever wanted to see on his own daughter.

?Yes, daddy??

Okay, he would take control of the situation. He was Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith. Nothing prevented him from completing his mission. ?That?s not appropriate attire for a star destroyer.?

She blinked at him. ?Star destroyer? I?m going swimming.?

?No. You are accompanying me to work as per your mother?s request. Now, go change.? He pointed at her door. ?Something black and intimidating.?

Leia crossed her arms and glared at him. ?I don?t do black. How about white and virginal??

Her sarcasm was totally missed by her father. ?That?s even better.?

**

It was soon after the shuttle arrived on board the Executor, that Lord Vader remembered why he didn?t want to bring Leia in the first place. Four stormtroopers deigned to talk with his daughter. One actually tried to exchange com codes. That one met with a rather tragic accident. It is highly possible for someone to slip on a dry floor and have their head slammed into the floor continually.

The enlisted men were bad enough. It got worse when his officers started to make amorous advances. Leia didn?t seem bothered by them, but Vader was at his boiling point. When he tried to Force-choke a captain, Leia threatened to tell

 

That was priceless.

I just loved Anakin's 2 meter rule...typical Ani!

What I would give to see The Emperior actually being zapped repeatedly by Artoo...

Great job on this

 

?I need you to accept the fact that I will never turn to the dark side.?

?But you don?t know the power??

?Yes I do. Every time I look at Palpatine.? Luke shivered. ?Yellow eyes, excessive wrinkles, sulfur-like body order, halitosis. The man is a walking advertisement for the dangers of the dark side.?


This was so funny, I love the "two meter rule". The above quote was one of my favorites; it's very funny, and very true. Good job with this story.

 

*howls with laughter*

Oh, good lord... too many good moments to name. Palpy getting zapped by Artoo in Wizard of Oz style... Leia using, shall we say, unusual methods of interrogation and Anakin finding out... Luke skipping out to Dagobah... Anakin's Dark Sider's Anonymous meeting. Just hilarious. Great job!

 

That was probably the funniest thing I've red all year.

Vader chuckled. ?I see. I would have had better luck turning you to the dark side with a bit of sibling rivalry.?

 

?Neutering any male who came within two meters of me,? she replied matter-of-factly. ?It?d be a damn shame.?

This time Han paled. He swallowed and said, ?Okay, Your Lordship. I?ll sign the contract.?





Excellent job, Rebel Mom, best laugh I've had on the Saga boards in a good while

 

Rubbing his temples in frustration, Luke said, ?Stop with the denial, Dad. Look, can you lose the mask? I?d like to talk to you face to face.?

?I?ll die.?

Luke rolled his eyes. ?You will not.?



That was my favortie exchange I think, for some reason. I thought it was funny! LOL! Excellent story! I loved all of it!

 

That was brilliant... what a hoot! I can't decide which moment was best; they were all great!

 

LOL HILARIOUS with all of those Skywalker couples! Pricelessly hilarious!

 

*just DIES*

I take it you've finally made the move to AZ recently?

I saw the title and had to click, it is just so ridiculous. Just the thought of that senario...

I adore this, RM!!

What is Captain Solo detained for??

Her father looked at one of his troopers. It took a few minutes of staring and the raising of her father?s hand in a pinching motion for the trooper to realize he was supposed to answer. ?Smuggling goods and Jedi, resisting arrest, insulting our esteemed Emperor, and indecent exposure.?

Captain Solo took exception. ?There isn?t anything indecent about my exposure.?

That part is totally my fav.

 

Absolutely HILARIOUS!

?Yes I do. Every time I look at Palpatine.? Luke shivered. ?Yellow eyes, excessive wrinkles, sulfur-like body order, halitosis. The man is a walking advertisement for the dangers of the dark side.?

?He?s not that bad, Luke.?

Luke gaped at his father. ?You ever looked at him without the mask??

?Not recently.?

?There you go. You?re looking at him through rose-colored glasses. By the way, why do you wear that stupid mask??

Anakin straightened up and puffed out his chest. ?It inspires the troops and strikes fear in our enemies.?

?Nobody takes you seriously if they see your baby face.?

Slightly deflating at his son?s words, Anakin continued, ?Yeah, I have to give orders twice. And nothing gets done if there are any women on board. They follow me around, salivating and making it dangerous to walk.?

Luke whistled. ?Whoa, good thing Mom didn?t know.?

Anakin swallowed and loosened his collar. ?Actually, she came for lunch one day. We were in my quarters and an ensign came to deliver a message. She was wearing just a bikini. The next day, I came to work and all female troops had been transferred.? He glanced down and noticed Luke?s chrono. ?Look at the time. I need to check on your sister.?

It was hard to pick a favorite part, it was all perfect!

 

?Any male that comes within two meters of my daughter will be neutered in accordance with the galaxy-wide population control initiative,? Vader announced over the ship?s intercom system.



I can totally see my husband doing something like this when our daughters start dating....

 

OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!

That was awesome especially the two-meter rule

 

That was definitely .... different.
Woot!

 

that was one of the funniest things i have read in a long time.

nice job

 

Oh lord... *wipes away the tears* That was just... hysterical. *giggles*

Hilarous, Mommy! *hugs* Great job!

 

Oh my goodness...that was hilarious!

How about a sequel?

Kat

 

What a great way to start the day---with a good laugh! You had so many good lines I'm afraid I'd end up quoting the whole story if I pointed them all out.

Wonderful story!!!!

 

That was hilarious. I about spit out my water at the "He touched your buns." line. I agree that you should make this a series.

 

Heh. Wow. That was brilliant. Very funny. I loved it all... the arm wrestling Wedge, the interrogation of Han, Luke and Mara's involvement (what did Padme say to the two of them? He is her baby boy after all.) Great story!

 

Hee! This was awesome! A huge thanks to AnakinsFavorite for steering me in here or I might have missed this hysterical take on the Skywalker family dynamics. And whew - what a tragedy that would have been. This was genius!

Great, great stuff! I loved it!

 

That was totally awesome! I absolutely loved it! Especially Artoo and the Emperor. That was just too good!

 

Ahh, you posted and it took me forever to get over to The Saga and find it.

I laughed just as much reading it again. I think "He touched your buns?" was my favorite line. And the part where the trooper whipped out the two-meter stick to measure how far he was from Leia. Hilarious!