Saga - ST [TFA-inspired fic and drabbles (crossovers permitted)]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Sith-I-5, Jan 6, 2016.

  1. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    The Force Awakens-inspired fiction and drabbles (genre crossovers permitted)

    1. Island Surprise (Luke, Mara, Rey) Nominated in 2017 Awards for Best Story in ST
    2. The Millennium Falcon. If you absolutely, positively, have to **** up Starkiller Base, accept no substitute
    3. Sage Advice (FN-2187 comes to Captain Phasma's attention)
    4. Hospital Visit (OC, Kylo Ren) WIP
    6. Snoke: Pirates OTP non-challenge
    7. Star Wars: The Last Jedi drabble.
    8. This search was brought to you by the colour Yellow Searching for Luke. [completed]

    Island Surprise

    The location was the peak of one of a chain of small islands that were basically rocky lichen-strewn hills poking out of the sea, miles from anywhere that could be called mainland.

    The chill wind battered the island mercilessly, though strangely, it did not seem to affect or disturb the light grey hooded robes of the bearded observer that had turned at the panting approach of the newcomer.

    Luke Skywalker stared at Rey with disbelief.

    No, not her, but the lightsabre hilt that the rag-wrapped girl held out to him from a dozen feet away, the ancient weapon of the Jedi Knights calling telepathically to him, updating him on it's past: Do you know where I've been, nest-fragger? The bowels of Bespin Cloud City. The Anoat episode of Storage Wars. I was on Wayland for a while, then Maz Ka-wotsit's castle...

    "Who-who the hell are you?!" A barefoot Mara Skywalker panted angrily as she came up behind Rey, a flight jacket pulled over her two-piece white bikini, lightsabre hilt slapping against muscled wet thighs as she stopped before them, hands on knees as she caught her breath.

    From her angle, Mara could see that the girl's entire ensemble was a grey that spoke of too many detergent-free washings, comprising tight over-the-knee leggings, cloth wrapped around both arms, and a length of hardy gauze criss-crossed over shoulders and secured at her waist with a tool belt. The trails under the belt whipped out to the right on the strong wind. There was almost a monastic quality to the outfit.

    "Mara, it's not what it looks like." Luke knew it was a clichéd response, like whenever a femme in his aunt's holo-soaps blundered in on their innocent boyfriend, fiancé, bond-partner when a beautiful femme was in close proximity, but it was all he could think of.

    "Y-you are d-damn right its n-not what it looks like." Mara's torso heaved as she drew in ragged breaths. She looked stressed from bounding up the long paved walkway from the waterline where the Millennium Falcon was parked, and stabbed a finger back down the pathway. "Chewie said Han had had extensive rejuv' treatment and a sex-change, but, but you cannot be Han. You are shorter and a lot slighter for a start."

    The newcomer from Jakku looked away from Mara, abashed, "I had to mind rub him to get him to stop pining. There is no getting away from a mourning Wookiee in a ship as small as the 'Falcon."

    "You mind-rubbed Chewbacca?"

    "Luke! That is not important right now." Mara snapped. She had straightened now, having regained her breath. "Young lady, who are you, and where is Han?"

    "I'm Rey. I escaped from Jakku in the Millennium Falcon, then got picked up by Han Solo and Chewbacca."

    "I'll just continue looking over the water then, shall I?" Luke muttered, but both women ignored him.

    "And where is Han?"

    "He got killed by Kylo Ren."

    "Who the frag is Kylo Ren?"

    "Han's dead?" Luke stared open-mouthed at her.

    "According to Chewie, he was Han's son. He said General Leia sent the boy with you to train as a jedi." Rey glanced at the most famous jedi that she knew off.

    Luke looked down, his face almost hidden within the hood. "Ben."

    "Ben killed his Dad? No way."

    "Yes way. Then Chewie shot Ben with his bowcaster."

    "So Ben's dead?"

    "Nope. The boy takes a licking and keeps on ticking. Finn and I fought lightsabre duels with him right after, and you couldn't even tell he had been shot. I'm only here because he must have left your Order before you taught him any moves."

    "Wait. You're a jedi?"

    Rey pursed her lips and shook her head. "I didn't even know the Force existed, two days ago."

    "How come you've still got your limbs attached?" Luke enquired, looking up at her again. "Cos, believe me, I taught him some moves."

    Looking at Luke now, Rey's hand that was not holding his lightsabre, shifted the long metal staff that she habitually carried with her. "I'm a fairly good fighter with this, and I just adapted my technique to fit the lightsabre. Look, can we seek shelter perhaps? I'm used to the heat of the desert, and I'm going to catch my death up here. I was only figuring on returning this to you, and telling you that the galaxy needs you."

    "Pressure much? Alright, let's get back to the villa. Come on." Mara turned and padded gently down the granite pathway, picking her way with much more caution now that the prospect of a sex-changed Solo was off the table. She had left her footwear down at what passed for a beach around here.

    Luke fell into step beside the young Rey. She glanced at him, and tried to hand him the lightsabre hilt.

    "This is yours, I believe."

    "I have one, thanks." Luke sighed, "You don't become a jedi without learning how to build your own lightsabre." He glanced at the one she was holding. "Where did you find that one?"

    "We were trying to get a droid back to the Resistance, and Han took us to Takodana to find someone who could provide a clean ship."

    Luke frowned as he descended in his wife's wake. "That doesn't half sound like what I was doing with Artoo, when I fell in with Han and Chewie. Speaking of which, you know you will have to un-mindrub him, don't you. Having beings think that you are Han is not a respectful way to treat the memory of one of the best men I have ever known."

    "Sorry, but this stuff, mind control, moving objects with my mind, just comes so easily to me, I have not stopped to think about the consequences."

    "This way." Mara took a sharp turn to their left and strode along a side path that led to a discrete cave entrance which concealed a proper plasteel door, the barrier sliding aside before Mara.

    The simple chamber beyond was large and tapered slightly towards the far end, which ended in a large repeater screen. The area had an Emperor-sized bed, a trio of green-leathered easy chairs, clustered by a circular, glase-topped table, and towards the far end on the left, ceiling-high panels of smoked glase that Rey guessed would be the fresher and bathroom.

    Rey looked around in wonder. It was luxurious, not just for a cave, but anything she had encountered in her life, including the couple days since leaving Jakku.

    "You didn't carve this out of the rock." She observed.

    "No, the travel company used the shell of a Radiant VII's detachable salon pod, excavated the hillside, inserted the pod, then remade and weathered the hillside over it. Very effective, I thought."

    Rey nodded her agreement, sitting down in the green leather-bound armchair to which she had been directed, and placing her staff flat onto the carpet. She savoured the softness of the upholstery through the thin rags that clothed her. Two words out of this Mara's explanation caught her attention. "Travel company?"

    "Interstellar Tours. We're staying at the Konteeki on the mainland." The red-headed woman hung up the flight jacket, and took a fluffy tan bath towel from a chest of drawers, then padded towards the fresher partition, calling back to her hubby, standing like a hooded lemon in the middle of the room: "Luke, make our guest a hot drink."

    "Oh I'm fine, thanks."


    "Hot Chocolate it is then." The Jedi Grandmaster sprang into action, crossing to an glossy-topped counter where kitchen items unrecognisable to the scavenger were sitting. He set some water to boil.

    "I said I was fine."

    "Oh, he heard you." Mara called from behind the glass, to the sound of a sonic shower. "Tell her what happened the last time I left you in charge of something, Dear."

    "My students rebelled and formed the Knights of Ren." His voice was still full of regret, after what Rey assumed to be years. That was just a guess on her part though; she had no idea how long it was since this Ben Solo character had run away from this bearded fellow.

    "So if you are here to learn to be a jedi, I'm the one you will have to impress. And Rule One is, we don't mind-rub our own people. So after you have had your hot chocolate, you will march right back to the Millennium Falcon and clear up whatever you did to that poor Wookiee. And then, if you have still got all your limbs, and Chewbacca passes a simple pop quiz that Luke and I will throw together, we can discuss what to do about you."

    "Anyone tell you that you are really quite bossy?"

    "Nope. Probably the same abo that did not tell you to go around mind-rubbing people."

    Rey leaned over the puffy armrest to grab her staff, then levered herself out of the chair. "Fine, I'll go and do it now then." She took two steps towards the door when she felt herself pulled from behind and thrown back into the chair, but when she turned to look, Luke was nowhere near her.

    "You'll do as you are told. Hot drink first."

    Luke looked at her and put both hands up in surrender, shoulder height. "I'm not getting into this."

    "You can't hold me here." Rey tried to push down on both armrests to force herself up, but could not move anything apart from head and arms.

    Mara emerged, only the towel around her, coming round the bed to the chest of drawers, this time pulling out a neatly folded bundle of dark-grey material. "Oh please." She carried the clothing back to the fresher, and from behind, her hair looked much less damp than it had been outside. "I used to be an Emperor's Hand. No way are you getting out of that chair. "

    The girl continued to shift from side to side, trying to free herself. The entire chair audibly scraped three inches across the floor from her own application of the Force.

    "Are you one of Mitch's kids?" Luke stared at her as the water next to him came to the boil inside the transparent blue plastic, bubbling furiously. He clicked it off without looking.

    "I-" Rey bared her teeth in concentration as she lunged to one side with all her weight. "-don't know who that is."

    "Twi'lek Force Vampire. Mitch Nifesta. Adopts strays, no offense. Young girl like yourself, thrust from obscurity into galactic adventure, that sounds like his M.O." Luke regarded her carefully. "You are telling the truth about fighting Ben, which means you are strong in the Force. All the obvious candidates were part of my academy, and went off with him. Han and Leia only had the one boy. I would have spotted if Mara got pregnant."


    "My parents abandoned me on Jakku when I was very young. I always thought they were coming back for me."

    "Jakku?" Mara exitted the fresher once again, this time in a sleeveless-dress that hugged her slim figure and flared into folds just above tanned knees, the matt sheen familiar as crosh-hide leather to anyone who had not spent the last fourteen years in the belly of an AT-AT. "Why does that sound familiar?"

    "Double entendre, Honey?" Luke finished making the hot chocolate, stirred the frothy, steaming liquid into a white mug, and handed it down to Rey with the warning, "You'll want to stop struggling while you drink this. Deus ex machina Force ability or no, hot liquid in the crotch can be worse than blaster fire."

    She subsided, and reached up with both hands to take the mug. "Thank you. Smells nice."

    Both of her hosts sat together on the edge of the bed and looked at her while she cupped the mug in both hands and blew gently onto the surface. She glanced up at them. "What?"

    "We have so many questions to ask you. Where to start."

    "I'll answer three. I can probably manage that much while I finish this." She took a sip of the steaming beverage. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she tasted sugar for the first time, the sweetness overwhelming her, and she would have spilled the drink if Skywalker had not thrust a hand towards her to steady the slightly tilting mug. Eventually the young woman recovered her senses and once more took control of the vessel. "Oh...what was that stuff? Tastes great!"

    "Water, milk, Bimmissari cocoa powder."

    "You can have some to take with you." Mara promised. "But first, our questions. We felt a disturbance in the Force, like millions of people had-"

    "-gotten two-thirds of the way through the 'Red sky at night, shepherd's delight' ditty-" Luke garnished.

    "-and were suddenly silenced."

    "The New Republic capital on Hosnian Prime. The First Order destroyed the planet." She had no investment in the existence or not of a galactic government. It had had no bearing on her life at all, as far as she could tell, so she had no empathy with Mara putting a hand to her mouth in apparent shock.

    Luke put an arm around his wife's shoulders and pulled her in close to him. He looked troubled too.

    Maybe by dint of not sending starfighters to do a strafing run through her settlement, made them a bit better than the First Order; but it still pretty marginal in her book.

    "Is Ben with the First Order?"

    "He was. The Resistance' starfighter attack on Starkiller Base triggered a land-quake while he and I were fighting. We got separated when the ground opened up. The planet blew up, soon after."

    Luke wondered what they had done to blow up a planet, but it was a question for later. "Unless you have a body, best to assume that he did. How did Han die?"

    "Me, Finn, Chewbacca and Han were setting explosives inside the base to bring some shields down. Han spotted Kylo crossing an unsafe-looking bridge that spanned this big chasm."

    "Unsafe-looking? No safety railings, you mean?"

    Rey nodded. "You are familiar with their idea of architecture, then?"

    "Let's just say that I have seen it before." He stroked his wife's hair, and let her grizzle into his side. Despite her tough exterior, she, like him, had several close friends who would have travelled around with the Seat of Government. He wanted to ask about Wedge, but he could do that when he saw Chewbacca.

    "Han went after Kylo, joining him in the middle of the bridge for a father to son chat, which at first, went better than I thought. He even got his son to take his mask off." She paused, her gaze unfocused.


    "We were behind Solo. A red blade just came out through his back, then Kylo let him drop off the bridge. It was horrible. Then Chewie opened fire on him, and the alarms went off."

    Luke smiled tightly. "Great Chewie, great. Always thinking with your stomach."

    Rey stared across at Luke for a pause. "Pardon?"

    "I love that big Wookiee, but he can blow a plan, can't he?"

    "To be fair," Mara said from Luke's lap, where her head had migrated, "so could Solo. And the Life Debt would have required he open fire, regardless of consequences."

    "I suppose."

    Rey drained the delicious drink, then, holding it in one cupped palm, put an index finger inside the mug to scrape the tasty residue from around the inside, getting every last bit of grey froth. "This is finished. You have a question left."

    "How is Leia? She still mad at me?"

    "She was upset about Han when I saw her. Your-"

    "But not Ben." He interrupted, musing, "She'd have felt it, if her child had died. Ben is still out there."

    Rey eyed them to see if they were finished, and continued. "Your name did not really come up. But Ben leaving to train with you, or his subsequent betraying of the Jedi Order, that split her and Han up."

    Luke face-palmed into his visibly mechanical hand, durasteel digits pressed into his temples. "Oh no. I only did what I thought was best."

    "Which is why you are only in charge of making the hot chocolate, now. And when the condenser betrays the other kitchen equipment and runs off to join the Dark Side, you won't even get that."

    Luke smiled, tousling Mara's auburn tresses. "What do you mean, when?"

    Mara looked over Luke's knees at their guest. "Alright, Rey, is it? Off you trot, go de-rub Chewie. Then bring him back up here so we can do the knowledge test."

    The Jakku teen lifted a knee experimentally to test for resistance, then pushed herself out of the chair, gratefully. It had been more comfortable than anything in her toppled AT-AT home, but being trapped in it had spoiled the experience somewhat.
    She looked at the couple and held the lightsabre towards them. "So what am I supposed to do with this?"

    "Well if you are here to train under me, you better hold onto it, I suppose. Though we will have to dial the power down enough so you don't chop off any limbs that Chewie leaves you."

    "I HAVE already duelled with it, you know?" She reminded with flashing eyes.

    "Beginner's Luck."

    "You better get going. You don't want to be on the way down or up that pathway when it gets dark. We don't have artificial street lighting here."

    "We don't have streets."

    "Fine." Rey hooked the lightsabre onto her toolbelt, and picked up her staff, narrowly avoiding poking out a glow panel in the ceiling. "Whoops. Okay, see you in a bit." She headed out, and the door slid shut behind her.

    The Skywalkers remained silently within their own thoughts, Luke massaging his wife's upper arm. Eventually, he observed, "If Leia sent her, she will be expecting her to bring us back aboard the 'Falcon. Our holiday could be cut short."

    Mara sighed into his lap. "Cruise ship will be along in three days. I'd rather wait, so we can be transferred officially to the hotel. They'll only declare us missing if we let the Princess do a Red Zero on us. Your sister can wait a few more days."

    Luke smiled at her use of the military term when calling for an immediate extraction.

    Last edited: Nov 15, 2018
    Chyntuck, AzureAngel2 and yahiko like this.
  2. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    The Millennium Falcon. If you absolutely, positively, have to **** up Starkiller Base, accept no substitute

    The static blue-toned hyperspace tunnel stretched around the rocketing Corellian freighter, once more in the hands of its rightful owner, Han Solo.

    Advances in hyperdrive technology had caused the tunnel to update from the roiling blue and grey of the good olde days.

    Solo, seated in the cockpit with Chewie and Finn, or "Big Deal" as the young ex-stormtrooper had announced himself, decided to show off to them. "The First Order are using a planetary shield with a fractional refresh rate."

    "RRRrrruurgh! Arrggg!" Chewie rumbled uncertainly.

    "What about the situation are you unhappy with?" Solo queried as he pulled back on the hyperspace levers.

    Before them, the hyperspace tunnel dissipated, and instead of the usual starlines as the vessel decelerated, clouds scudded past the canopy to offer a momentary view of snow-capped mountains rushing up to them like you would not believe.

    "Pull up!" Chewie and Big - soon to be Flat - Deal, screamed together.


    * * * *
    Starkiller Base

    In the main, surprisingly compact, control room, the masked Kylo Ren glanced up from the light table to look towards triangular transparisteel windows more suited to the bridge of a Star Destroyer. "Han So-"


    "Never mind. And," Kylo eyes widened behind his mask at the sight approaching from the nearby mountain ridge. "brace for impact."

    The entire deck bucked and canted, bouncing everyone a foot into the air, either from the deck if they were standing, or bucked from their chairs like rodeo stars, if they were seated, as klaxons echoed throughout the base.

    Shockwaves continued to ripple in expanding circles from the point of impact, the leading wave of the first one was what had struck Starkiller Base, and continued through the land and structures.

    Already escaped from her cell, Rey and the black metal panel that she had opened high up a wall in the vehicle garage, were bucked off into open air.

    She had no time to shut her eyes in order to divine, in a moment, how to fly; so with her gossammer greys flapping around her, she crunched into the deck below.


    "What the drokk was that?" was the most common query uttered by personnel as they regained consciousness and picked themselves up off the floors and decks, or thrust hands out to grasp vertical railings to impede the slides down stairwells.

    In the control room, the pale-faced Lieutenant Mandetat was one of the first to regain consciousness, reaching for the black synthleather cushion of his chair to pull himself back up to the Communications console where a light flashed urgently for attention.

    He blinked rapidly, remembering from live ordnance training not to try to shake his head to regain his senses, and pressed the light-emitting button.

    "You have a waiting message." Captain Phasma's unfiltered feminine tones announced pleasantly. They had been recorded back when she had been a lower and more cooperative rank and to preserve the pretense that they no longer used her voice, the stern Colonel Datoo had instituted his own Order 66 - don't pick up recorded messages while Captain Phasma is in the room.

    While it meant nothing special to the younger personnel, to him it presented an important link to that other, more infamous, Order.

    "First message: What the **** was that?!"

    "General Hux!" Mandetat called down the slanted deck to the stirring form of his red-haired superior, "Supreme Leader Snoke demands to know what the **** that was."

    "Uh oh." Lieutenant Rodinon muttered worriedly as he held himself steady to look over the repeater screens monitoring the vertical torrent of solar energy rechargng their main weapon. "I think the singularity containment field may have suffered damage."

    Kylo knelt up from where he was trying to shake Hux awake, "Sorry, what was that, Lieutenant?"

    "Containment field may have suffered damage, my Lord." Rodinon wedged himself between two consoles to hold himself in position.

    "No, about a singularity?" He had never concerned himself about the workings of the Starkiller weapon. Grandfather, based on Imperial minutes from a meeting on the first Death Star, would likely have said such a weapon was insignificant compared to the power of the Force. "You mean as in, a black hole?"

    "Well, how do you think we drew the solar energy down here?" Hux mumbled from his supine position at Ren's knees, one cheek on the cold floor. "Tapped a spoon on a plate and called out the back door, Puss puss puss, din dins?"

    Ren glowered at his peer, and in a moment, his lightsabre thrumming into spluttery life as the crimson plasma energy fed through the fractured Kaiburr crystal at its core, slashed at the floor beside the General, the blade biting deep.

    "Oi!" Called a muffled voice from the deck below.

    "Temper, temper." Pushing against the floor with his hands in an attempt at the mother of all push-ups, General Hux rolled away from the annoyed Dark Jedi. A metre away, he called up. "Lieutenant, shut down the recharge sequence."

    "Yes, General." Rodinon leaned over the console and stabbed at buttons, and turned dials while squinting at readouts. "We may have a problem."

    "General Hux!" Mandetat called again. "Supreme Leader Snoke demands an update."

    Hux winced as he sat up. "Supreme Leader Snoke can kiss-"


    "Fine." Hux snarled over the cacophany. "Inform the Supreme Leader that we have suffered a planetary quake, and taken damage. And someone shut off those alarms."

    The alarms silenced, the ensuing silence palpable, broken only by the sizzling and popping of bubbling floor tiles, Ren having already extinguished his lightsabre, and counted to ten in his mind.

    "So, there is a black hole somewhere in close proximity to us?"

    "Yes!" Rodinon's voice rose slightly, a sign that he was getting stressed. "A singularity hemmed in on all sides by strong anti-grav shields, except for an adjustable angle directed at the sun."

    "And this raised no red flags for anyone?" Kylo queried in a reasonable tone.

    * * * *
    Singularity Containment Field

    A hundred metre-thick column of super-hot solar energy thundered into the six-sided chasm built to accomodate it, towards the miniature, artificially-created black hole.

    Best case scenario, that was the only material that the singularity should be able to draw into it's hyper-strong gravitational field, but one of the perfectly aligned anti-grav shields had been shifted by the ground quake.

    An increasing stream of rock and debris broke away from a strata of tan-coloured subterranean rock, several hundred metres below the base proper, to tumble horizontally from the chasm wall, rattle past the edges of the shields, then zipping towards the roiling Catherine Wheel of super gravity to be pulverised and swallowed by the tonnage.

    Nubs of rock elongated and twisted like stony eels as they slowly succumbed to a gravitational pull stronger than the planet's own.

    * * * *
    Starkiller Base' control room

    Kylo strode up on the slanted deck, joining Mandetat at the Comms Station. "A favour, technician?" He rumbled in the ethereal tone that his mask's voice modulator put out. "Assure me that we are going to be fine. Nothing to worry about."

    "Sir?" The seated technician looked up from his seat at the ominous form of the Knight of Ren now beside him.

    "Just do it."

    "W-we are g-going to be f-fine, my Lord. N-nothing to worry about. S-safe as 'ouses!"

    Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes as he listened to the Force. It would guide him as to the veracity of the man's words. "Aaannnddd, computer says 'no'." His sable-coloured cloak wrapped round his legs as he whirled to face Hux. "General Hux. We need to get the frak out of here. Issue the general evacuation order."

    "Well, lucky that I'm a General, then."

    The increasingly agitated younger Solo stared at him, "Look, we don't-"

    "Awright awright awright!" Hux grinned as he put up his hands in surrender, clearly not ruffled by the situation, and looked up towards Mandetat. "No argument here. Technician?"

    "Sir." In a moment, klaxons bellowed throughout the base, accompanied by a loud voice across the public address system: EVACUATE. EVACUATE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.


    Within the hour, several minutes after a multitude of ships struggled out of the increased pull of the gravity well, and jumped to safety, the planet started to shrink in upon itself, barely noticeable at first.

    At first.

    * * * *
    Resistance Base - D'Qar

    The golden protocol droid, See Threepio, turned stiffly to its mistress, who had for some reason, sagged against a pile of crates. "Princess Leia! I mean, uh, General Organa. Whatever! I really don't know how our sensors can tell through hyperspace, but they indicate that the shields around Starkiller Base have fallen."

    "Really? But I thought I had sensed Han's...." Leia's brow furrowed. She was sure she had felt that her husband had gone. She took a cleansing breath, and looked towards the walrus-like head controller in his earth-brown smock. "Controller Dand. Signal Black Leader to start his attack. The shields are down."

    "As ordered, General."

    "And another thing." The protocol droid interjected, photoreceptors brightening as he waved at her. "How are we communicating with them in hyperspace?"

    Leia shook her head at the droid. "You wanna go there, Threepio? Really? You already bet one arm that it could not be done."

    "General Organa, I am fluent in six million forms of communication, and that reads as 'crap' in every one of them."

    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
  3. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Sage advice

    Question: How did Finn know who Luke Skywalker was?


    Finn remembered an award ceremony where he, FN-2199, and thirty-eight other trainee stormtroopers had completed the advance levels of Z6 riot baton training, standing before the outside dais where Captain Phasma in her chrome armour, a jet black astromech, and a few First Order officers stood over them, gazing down at their attentive ranks.

    It was one of the events where he had come to the Captain's notice.

    FN-2187 and the others stood at attention, with hands clasped behind their backs, in grey training bottoms and short-sleeved tops.

    It was the warm season, so the snows had melted away and the grass grew underfoot, although maintained by those troopers on the agricultural duty of their rosters.

    Up on the dais, the figure in the shiny plates addressed the graduates as she held the double cylinders of a scroll.

    "Troopers, very well done on passing the elite final evaluation on the Z6 riot control baton. You are credits to your units, to Paradise Villas, and to the-"

    "Um," the thin, young female sub-officer, Chief Petty Officer Unamo, in black two-piece uniform (starched tunic and knee-length pencil skirt) and very polished boots, stepped forward and leaned in close, "Captain? We are Starkiller Base."

    "But uh, it says Paradise Villas right over there." Phasma pointed out reasonably, indicating with an arm the large rectangular sign showing the gaily-painted artists impression of a series of two storey residences near a deep blue lake with rippling waters, a couple of water craft, and lots of greenery thereabouts.

    "We swapped project signs to get the New Republic to sign off on planning permission, remember?"

    Phasma nodded her helmeted head in understanding. "So that's why you guys came to the Paradise Villas' construction! I mean, uh, that why we went there!"

    The droid swivelled its dome away from observing the cadets to regarding the chrome-plated host, and blooped a query.

    "Don't worry, I've got this." Phasma waved Unamo back into position, and leaned towards her voice-pickup once more. "Alright, take two. You are a credit to your units, Starkiller Base apparently, and the First Order. But before we dismiss you to a well earned celebration, we just want to apprise that despite the wiping out of the Jedi Order, there are still some beings that you should not just throw aside your blaster and go medieval on somebody's ass, with."

    "Anyone armed with a blaster!" FN-2199 called out from the ranks, causing appreciative laughter from several of his fellows.

    Phasma pointed down to the raconteur. "Yes, them of course. But also..." She brought up the scroll, clasping both cylinders of the scroll, and pulled them up and down simultaneously, exposing several inches of distressed flimsi. "Luke Skywalker."

    Luke Skywalker flashed up in white Aurabesh on a huge black viewscreen behind the daiz, that had been showing a computer representation of the swaying First Order sigil.

    FN-2187's eye line wandered from the Phasma and the others, towards the windows of a nearby habitation block, the lights within one flashing on and off, despite it being broad daylight.

    "Wookiees, obviously." Captain Phasma read. She had clearly made the list earlier.

    Wookiees flashed up under Skywalker's name, over the heads of Unamo and the others.

    "Anyone casually carrying around a pole, nowhere near scaffolding."

    That took up several lines on the screen.

    "Mm, those room light flashes aren't random." FN-2187 mused, narrowing his eyes towards the habitation block. "Looks a bit like blink code."

    "Eyes front, Cadet." 2199 whispered out the side of his mouth, otherwise not moving.

    "Anybody who looks like they know their way around a pool table."

    "What does that look like to you?"

    "A demerit." 2199 opined, "Just ignore it."

    "Nah man, that's an H. An E."

    "Anybody who loudly kisses their teeth, and snarls 'C'mon, that's the way I like it'."

    "L...P. HELP?" FN-2187 read aloud, "M.....E....ME. Help me."

    "Alright Deputy, hit it." A rousing, inspirational piece of music belted over the crowd, courtesy of the astromech's speakers. The cadets waited for it to be identified, and Phasma did not disappoint. "That's the song, Eye of the Tiger; if you can hear that, just shoot the frakker, especially if you cannot tell where it is coming from."

    "I....A.....M....I am.....B-"

    The music ceased after a few bars.

    "And lastly, Ice Orc Troopers. Those bastards." Really in her stride now and gripping the voice-pickup with one hand, Phasma was oblivious to the concerned mutterings of the graduates, and the stares of her peers. "Repeat after me, people. Druids are not a melee class."

    "Help me, I am being impersonated!" 2187 yelled his realisation, and set off at a run, heading off the parade ground.

    "2187, back into position!" Unamo called, her voice amplified by the headset that she habitually wore, even when away from her station. She had ruined loads in the shower.

    [Weet-da-woot] The droid opined.

    Phasma abruptly calmed, looking down at the whistling droid. "Think I'm rumbled, 'ey?" She looked out across the crowd. "Well, it was still good advice. Though unlikely that you'll encounter Ice Orc Troopers outside of Everfrost. Gotta go."

    Her arms flowed up into the air above her head like she was doing a mime of a two-trunked elephant, luminous blue snowflakes appearing out of thin air and showering down over her head and shoulders, the female warrior fading from sight.

    "Intruder Alert!" Unamo rapped into her headset's voice pickup, to call out the troops.

    * * * *

    For his part, FN-2187 reached the revolving plexiglased cylinder of the revolving doors leading into the lobby of the habitation block, pushing inside the building and pulling up short as the duty guard, a fully armoured stormtrooper, bulky flame unit on his back, turned towards him, the nozzle ready in his hand.

    To the right of the space, slat-style stairs, sandwiched by metal and glase bannisters, led upstairs.

    "Whoa!" 2187 exclaimed at the sight of this, "what is this, bring your flamethrower to work day?"

    "Funny, 87." SL-0111 deadpanned behind his helmet visor.

    "Unlock all the rooms on the third level."


    "Someone is locked in and trapped. They are using their bedroom lights to signal for assistance."

    The stormtrooper nodded to the horseshoe-shaped counter, the top and sides made of polished tan wood cleared to make way for the construction of the superweapon. "Controls are behind there, Cadet."

    In the distance, somewhere outside, emergency klaxons moo-whooed.

    "That for you?" SL-0111 enquired, as the popular trainee stepped behind the counter, found the row of off-white toggles that locked down the units on the third level, and ran the edge of his hand along them.

    "Now to take the stairs and see who is looking particularly grateful." FN-2187 announced as he retraced his steps.

    "Oooorrr, you could take the turbolift."

    "If someone can lock rooms, they can sabotage turbolifts." Hand on the nearest bannister, 2187 pulled himself onto the steps and ran up, taking them two at a time, till halfway up the second flight, he slowed to normal strides, even though he had the stamina not to breath hard, and emerged on the third floor to find a tall blonde woman with short hair, and a crumpled sheet wrapped round her just below the level of her pale, bare shoulders. The lower edge extended to just below her knees. "Captain Phasma! Whoa, you look like a Princess!"

    The real officer blushed slightly, cheeks tinging pink. "Don't get fresh, 2187." She reprimanded, one fist clutching the wrap to hold it to her chest. "Someone stole my armour and locked me in my room. They also disabled my comlink."

    "Yes sir, I gathered that." FN nodded brightly. "I have the feeling that we'll have to stage the baton graduation ceremony again." It began to dawn on the cadet that his superior did not have a change of clothes, handy. He started to pull his t-shirt over his head, talking from inside the perspiration-stained vestement. "You better put this on, Ma'am."

    * * * *

    Elsewhere, holding his breath as two stormtroopers walked quickly past his alcove, the wearer of the chrome suit picked at the straps holding the plates in position, and placed them gently on the ground around his still invisible self, the items reappearing once separated from him.

    He was glad to have gotten in the bit about the Ice Orcs before having to run. He had attacked one back when he was just a Level 6 youngster, nuking the mauve-skinned biped with a trio of firebursts, then hefting his rusty scimitar and striding purposefully down the bank of a frozen riverbed to finish it off. Still smoking from his fire blasts, It had wiped the floor with him. He was not bitter though. Not much.

    The elf, Yavscout, had had a variety of roles in his life, from Surefall Paramedic in his home dimension of Norrath; medtech during his first stint with the Galactic Republic's SGIS, the Secret Galactic Intelligence Service; an exotic weapons' shopkeeper and volunteer pilot with the Naboo Security Force; an agent with SGIS when they had re-commissioned him, four years after Order 66; a commander with the Mercs, a mercenary unit selected by the Kingdom of Jod to help fulfill some Prophesy to save the galaxy from a threat, as well as defeat the Empire.

    When the Empire had in fact been defeated, eventually the galaxy had little use for an immortal elf druid, and he had drifted from one job to the next, till he had ended up as medtech and sometimes nightwatch-elf at the Paradise Villas building site, with his droid companion, the astromech, Deputy.

    Despite looking like the classic Imperial R2 unit, Deputy had been in the Naboo Security Force too, and had been with the elf when the SGIS agent went undercover with the Mercs.

    The two had been pulling a night security shift at the Paradise Villas restoration complex on Renatasia, when a ridiculously long-finned Upsilon-class shuttle had descended out of the night sky, and several people had emerged to nick the sign off the front of the lot.

    Yav had secreted himself aboard the shuttle, curious as to what was going on, and the First Order raiders had commandeered the black R2 unit when it had tried to follow the elf.

    He had been so far stymied by the global defense shield, but he would get off this dirtball soon. Somehow.

    FINN :p
    Last edited: May 11, 2018
    Chyntuck and AzureAngel2 like this.
  4. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Hospital Visit

    Kylo Ren – Leader of the Knights of Ren, patricider of Han Solo.
    SG-12 “Twelve” – Ex-Imperial [Saber Guard], and current Knight of Ren

    The black First Order personal shuttle that decanted from hyperspace within sight of the famous Rebel Alliance vessel, the Medical Frigate, was a Celestial Industries NR2 Gully Jumper, a design that had been flown by the Sith Empire centuries before, and had been infamous for crashing the front lobby of the Coruscant Jedi Temple to facilitate a major attack

    The First Order had half-inched (pinched) the Medical Frigate from where it had faced being de-commissioned, and re-purposed it for their own uses, such as the initial care of kidnapped babies which would form the core of their renewed stormtrooper training programme, and taking care of injured personnel, from survivors of their railing-less bridges, to lightsabre-wielders trounced by untrained scavenger scum.

    Within ten standard minutes, the chrome-armoured shuttle owner, illuminated T-visor on his helmet, strode along the wide corridors of the medical frigate, heading for the VIP decks as pairs of white-plated stormtroopers and zipping MSE-6 mouse droids shared the hallways.

    He was unsure if he was going to eat the bunch of grapes that he had clutched in the crumbled brown flimsi bag, or if he was going to be a good friend and present Kylo with the fruit intact.

    He did know that he was going to rip the pith out of the defeated warrior.

    Twelve halted before a waist-high reception counter staffed by a pretty, dark-haired young woman who actually smiled up at him, rooting him to the spot for a stunned second, such a rarity among anybody in this humourless First Order, let alone the femmes.

    “How can I help you, My Lord?” She asked, pleasantly. Her hair was parted in the center, and wrapped tightly into two braided buns on both sides of her head.

    Before responding, Twelve glanced down her pressed black tunic for a nameplate, quickly finding it. “That’s a lovely smile you have there, Philippa. I can see why you never got assigned to the Finalizer. No jollity allowed among our naval cousins.”

    “Why thank you, My Lord.” Her cheeks blushed pleasantly. “Would I be right in guessing that you are here to see Lord Ren?”

    Lord Ren? Is that what he said he was?” He teased through the domed helmet.

    Philippa glanced at her screen, which faced away from him. “That is what General Hux signed him in under. Is that not correct?”

    “No. No. The Hux knows what he is doing.” Although generally respectful of authority, he was not aware of the General having any actual combat experience, unless you counted getting his star destroyer damaged by a stolen TIE fighter, over Jakku. “So, where would I find Lord Ren, then?”

    “Continue along the corridor, second hatch on your right.”

    Twelve gave her a little head bow in salute, “Thank you.” He held the flimsy-bag up high enough to show her. “I bought him some grapes.”

    “Oh, that is very kind of you.” She beamed up at him. “Though I am afraid that he won’t be able to have them today; he is in a bacta tank.”

    Twelve’s eyebrows furrowed cynically behind the faceplate. “A bacta tank? Did he get hit in the face? Wouldn’t want those pretty boy features getting a scar, now would we?”

    Philippa quickly put a hand over her mouth as she leaned back and guffawed, not quite hiding her unwitting impression of a snorting Ugnaught. She quickly calmed and beamed up at the Saber Guard. “He did in fact get hit in the face, My Lord. But we also dug a bowcaster quarrel out of his side.”

    Twelve hissed in sympathy. He had heard Kylo talk about his Dad’s family friend, the Wookiee. It must have broken the creature’s heart to have to shoot the boy.

    He turned proceed to see his friend, then paused, turning back to Philippa. "So wait. How am I supposed to communicate with him inside a bacta tank?"

    "Oh!" She said brightly, "we have a sign language guide for visitors, and there is a one-sheet pasted to the glase so Lord Ren can see why you are waving like a mad thing."

    "Haven't you got like..." Twelve cast about for the wording, "a blank flimsi pad and a thick pen?"

    "Of course, Sir. I'm just kidding with you. Pads and pens just inside the doorway." She rose from her chair and indicated the direction she had advised earlier.

    "Oh, you." The warrior complained with a chuckle. "Utterly convincing. Utterly convincing. I'll put in a good word for you with the propaganda branch, if you fancy a change."

    "Get going, you pirate. I have things to be getting on with." She retook her chair and put her head down to look down at her work, but to his delight, he could still see a smile there.
    His mood lifted from worrying about the plight of his friend, he nodded and headed towards Kylo's room, pausing in the open doorway to glance about the interior.

    The requested pads and pens were on a shelf to the left of the entrance, and then looking into the room, he could see five bacta tanks, fat glased cylinders topped by opaque metal lids, and with coiled cables and flex-pipes around the bases, trailing off toward the bulkheads.

    Four were empty, but the nearest one, a few metres in from the open doorway, had the man he had been seeking.

    Kylo Ren floated within the liquid bacta, nude apart from light blue padded underpants attached to a thick cable, which went to the a hole in the side of the tank, and a breath-mask also connected to a flexible pipe. His thick black hair floated about his head and face.

    Twelve took in the ragged pink-edged crater in the pale white flesh of his colleague's left side, below his rib cage.

    A diagonal scar across his forehead was still just visible, but healing nicely.

    The cloned soldier looked carefully, but could see no sign of Ren's lightsabre in there with him, perhaps sealed in a plastic bag.

    Well, that changes things a bit, he though, rubbing his hands together, and leaning out the doorway to address the receptionist. "Do you miss shopping for clothes?"

    She put her chin in her hands and admitted, "In Fondor's Name, yes."

    "I'm taking you shopping, but first you have to do something for me. You got a jayteep that you don't mind sacrificing? I can watch the desk while you get it from your cabin."
    A "jayteep" was short for "Jungle two-piece", referring to a fashion item popular among female humans and humanoids consisting of a pantie and brassiere. Innumerable were the fabrics and materials that you could make one from. The job that it did was more important than what it was made of.

    "I'm wearing one now," She readily revealed, "but you'll have to remove your armour for any hope of it fitting you."

    "It's not for me!" SG-12 nodded meaningfully back into the room, and added, "Also, can you quickly show me how you braid hair?"

    * * * *

    Twelve settled onto a chair he had pulled up before the bacta tank, his helmet taken off and set on the deck by his feet. His face was grizzled and lined by the harsh tropical weather if the planet he had sought refuge, after the Empire's defeat.

    He crossed his legs, the lightsabres on his hips, clattering against the hard seat edges.

    He aimed a hand at the flexible blue piping identified as providing oxygen to Ren's breathmask, and pinched thumb and forefinger to manipulate the Force into crimping the line, restricting the precious gas.

    Before him, Kylo was quickly shuddering as his lungs fought for more air, and dark eyes flicked open behind those goggles, quickly focussing on the Saber Guard.

    Twelve released the hold as soon as the eyes opened, and raised the message pad with his just-scrawled greeting:


    The patient did not respond to his ribbing straight away, which did not surprise Twelve, for he could see Ren inhaling hard to gain the oxygen that the Saber Guard had denied him, and then his eyes regarded the visitor warily.

    "What have you heard?" Came out of hidden speakers, causing Twelve to look up, startled, before realising that there must be a voice pickup in the breathmask, perhaps for when the medics were on their daily rounds.

    He tore off the used page, and scrawled a new message. [hl=white]THAT YOU CAPTURED A GIRL ON...SOME PLANET[/hl] It was surprising how quickly, one tired of writing in caps.


    [hl=white]She escaped and there was an alert out, then you were found in the forest.[/hl]

    Ren's right arm rose, slowed by the bacta. "She was strong in the Force, though she did not seem to know it." The pale limb returned to his side.

    [hl=white]Knew it enough to kick your choob.[/hl] Twelve was scrawling matter-of-factly, turning it around for his colleague to read.

    "Indeed. But she had help. One of our stormtroopers defected and helped her get off Jakku."

    SG-12's eyes twinkled with his idea of humour. [hl=white]I could have gotten her off. Maybe not Jakku...[/hl]

    "That stopped being funny, Twelve. Forty-six quips ago." Kylo shook his head, or tried to, the secured breathmask inhibiting the move.

    There was a pause of a couple minutes, both Dark Siders busy with their own thoughts. For his part, Twelve was prevaricating between telling Kylo that he had brought him some grapes, or bringing up Han Solo.

    He also wondered if that was all that had befallen his friend at Starkiller Base. When he had been assigned, he had been a strong dark warrior, fit to be on the front line of the First Order's efforts to retake the galaxy.

    Now, he was sensing, as Snoke did, Ren feeling sorry for himself.

    The clone scrawled on the flimsi. [hl=white]We heard about Han Solo. The Knights of Ren had a whip round and bought you a card.[/hl]

    "Oh, there was no need for that." Kylo asserted, waving a hand through the blue-tinged gloop as best he could with a sling holding up his bicep. "I killed Solo myself."

    SG-12 stared back in surprise and shock. [hl=white]Did, uh, did the Supreme Commander order you to do so?[/hl]

    "No. It was my idea. To prove to myself that I can resist the pull of the Light."

    The former Saber Guard had trouble reconciling with this. If the Emperor had ordered him to slay the Kaminoans that had birthed him, he would have done so of course, but he would never countenance doing that off his own back, nor suffering someone else to do it.

    The matter caused any guilt he felt about how this was going to play out, to evaporate.

    [hl=white]He was your father.[/hl]

    "He was in the way! And a means to an end."

    Twelve noticed Kylo lift his gaze to something behind and to the clone's right, where the open doorway was, and he heard the giggles of several femmes.

    "What's with them?" Ren's breathmask bounced as he spoke within it, and he blinked behind his goggles.

    [hl=white]You are quite the celebrity.[/hl]

    "I would have arrived here well before you;" the patient mused. "they would have had plenty of time to look in on me. Something has occurred since you turned up."
    A foot above his head, the surface of the bacta sloshed against the front of the tank as the mostly nude warrior looked around to see what had so attracted his new fans.

    As Twelve observed his counterpart, his mind turned to the friendly receptionist. Nice set of legs on her.

    Bit risky involving her, he mused, stroking his stubbled chin, after all, she has to live here.
    He put up a gloved finger. "Back in a sec'." Rising as Kylo grunted a disinterested acknowledgment, he strode back to the open doorway, palms on either side as he leaned through to face the cooperative receptionist.
    She was already looking anxiously towards him.
    "Suggest packing your stuff, and getting to my ship. Dock Four."

    Her already ivory features blanched, stark against the charcoal of her uniform tunic. "D-does he know what w-we did?"

    "I have a feeling that he is about to-"

    "What the-? This is YOUR DOING!"

    Twelve grimaced. "Yep, clocked it. My ship's the Deep Time."

    Philippa rose from her seat, looking over her hidden desk for something that he could not even guess about.


    He spun in a panic at the unexpected glassy retort like a dropped jug, eyes roving the deck between himself and the patient for what could have dropped....but there was nothing that he could see, apart from an MSE-6 mouse droid that zipped through the doorway, leaning on three wheels to curve round his boots in a display worthy of GTL 5: Grand Theft Landspeeder.

    Twelve raised his gaze to look at Ren, only to find the chastened lad too embarrased to meet his gaze; and no wonder, for he looked particularly fetching in her jayteep - the wide band of dark orange Lashaa silk wrapped round his chest, and the matching panties gamely stretched over his medical underwear and the belt of durasteel weights that kept him from bobbing up at the top of the tank.

    The Saber Guard's brow creased as it occurred to him that Ren was not avoiding his gaze, but glaring at something.

    He followed the other's gaze, a chill going up his spine at the the sight. The front of the tank was damaged. An expanding spider web of visible fractures cracking through the curved plexiglase, the hilt of Kylo's lightsabre at the centre of it all, puncturing the skin of the tank.

    "Aw brix." Twelve muttered, looking around his feet and crooking a finger at the just arrived mouse droid, already sucking up the tiny glassy splinters skittering and bouncing around it. "You better call for backup."


    Front of the tank exploded towards the Saber Guard, washing him off his feet and driving im, his chair, helmet and mouse droid into the base of the wall that ran to the right of the open doorway, the bacta gel unexpectedly acting like a less viscous fluid once in contact with a large volume of air.

    SG-12 spluttered a mouthful of the stuff and quickly rolled over onto his front, rising onto his elbows to fend off what he expected to happen next, for his barefooted counterpart to step out unheedingly onto a carpet of crystalline fragments.

    Within what was left of the upright cylinder, the circular lid above Kylo, a grey plug of dense plastic the side of a dustbin lid, snapped down onto the restrained patient, only for the Twelve to see the crackling crimson blade snap into light and arc round above Ren's head, severing all the restraints holding him and letting him drop side-on to one knee, head ducked to avoid the lid as it snapped shut over the back of his head.

    As the beached Twelve looked on, Han Solo's son rose slowly to face him, his right hand holding his spitting, crackling lightsabre in what passed for an opening stance with him, held diagonal to the floor, pointing to the floor several feet to his right.

    The colourful two-piece made the pale warrior no less imposing, bacta sliding down his ivory-coloured muscle-defined stomach. Kid definitely needed to get some sun.

    SG-12 realised he should have acted while Kylo was still down, and moved now, rolling towards the jayteeped man, tucking a knee under himself, bringing the other leg over and and coming up one knee, facing Ren, straightening the fingers on his left hand as if he were going to jab them into a person's midriff, and instead sweeping it from left to right before himself - the carpet of glittery shards washing out of Ren's path to crash noisily against the wall to Twelve's right, just as Kylo leading bare foot stomped onto the now clear decking.

    Twelve sighed heavily; just in time.

    The man showed no gratitude, and with the anger that Twelve could feel radiating from his friend, he probably wouldn't have noticed a Star Destroyer nosing into the Jakku landscape if he had been standing below it, let alone Twelve's Red Sea action just then.

    "AaaahhHH-" Kylo's shriek of emotion set up his attack, leaping forwards and bringing his lightsabre up into a one-handed over-the-head power strike that stopped just as abruptly, lightsabre slashing into the deck plates well short of SG-12, as Ren bowed deeply at the waist from whatever had arrested his forward motion. "-Oof!"

    Twelve rose slowly to his feet as he observed Ren straighten up and gingerly pat around the front, side and rear of his panties for whatever had stopped him, eventually closing his hand over what Twelve had spotted earlier whilst behind the tank, Force-clasping Philippa's bandeau in place: Kylo's temporary, artificial tail, a plastic wrist-thick pipe taking away his bio-waste.

    "Umm." SG-12 put up a finger to protest his opponent's predictable next move, as Ren got a double-handed grip on his lightsabre, aimed the red shaft down over the back of his left shoulder and swept it vertically left to right behind himself that in other circumstances was a very effective defence to a horizontal strike at one's back, but here, cleanly severed the pipe, the rest of it slapping to the floor, whipping about and spitting brown gobbets up the back of his calves, while Twelve visibly recoiled from the miasma of stale methane that hit him in the face.

    "Uh, thanks Ren."

    Kylo's sabre came around from behind his right shoulder in a shallow diagonal arc and swept down at Twelve's left shoulder while he stepped forward to bring himself within striking range.

    Humming white blades thrust one-after-the-other from the hilts that Twelve pulled from his left and then right hips, in a classic but staggered gunfighter style, the left one ignited as it pointed to the floor, turning in and fanning up a hundred-and-eighty degrees to parry Ren's first strike, the impact jarring along the self-regarded Kaminoan's arm.

    Twelve swept his second blade horizontally left to right across Kylo's stomach, only for the boy to jump back out of the way, put his weight onto his back foot, and leap back inside the armoured warrior's defences while Twelve's second lightsabre completed its missed swing out to the side, bringing his own blade back in a similar diagonal slash down at Twelve's exposed right shoulder.

    SG-12's still-raised left hand brought it's blade down enough to block it, the competing energies from Ren's cracked Kaiburr crystal, and the synthetic white crystals within his own, throwing crimson and white sparks into the side of his face where the lightsabres slid down each other.

    Ren's knee popped up between them, and he booted Twelve hard in the torso armour plate, sending him hard onto the wall behind him, the back of his head clouting the metal despite his best effort to keep it from doing so.

    Whoozy, Twelve rolled sideways to evade the expected follow through, Ren's hard slash leaving a smoking, lava-rimmed gash in the bulkhead where Twelve had just been.

    The Guardsman skidded a short distance across the bacta-gelled floor, fighting to retain his balance while his barefooted opponent conversely seemed a lot more planted, turning almost on the spot to regard his opponent.

    "Why?" Ren bit out.

    "Why what?"

    "What possessed you to do this to me? We were brothers in arms."

    "Oh. Two reasons. One, someone has to speak for Solo." SG-12 gathered himself, bringing his sabres before himself at rib height, blades diagonally up in an 'A' frame before him. "And two, the Rule of Two, as explained by yourself."

    Ren furrowed his eyebrows in clear confusion as he put himself in a more traditional opening stance, side-on to Twelve, both hands on the hilt of an upward-pointed 'sabre. "The Rule of Two?"

    "Only Two there are, a Master, and an Apprentice. The rest of you, you are just rim-holes."

    Kylo bobbed his head in understanding. "Ah-ha. Took it to heart, did you?" He cocked his head with a frown. "I sense a lie, Brother."

    Twelve sighed. "Oh, if you must know; Snoke wanted you broken out of your fugue."

    Ren glanced to the entrance to Twelve's left, the Saber Guard taking his eyes of his opponent to eye two stormtroopers that stepped through, looking from one to the other in clear confusion.

    "Don't just stand there!" Kylo roared, "Shoot him!"

    "Err-" The Guard blocked the first laser blast with his closest blade, and jerked his top half back to evade the second trooper's shot, then half-turned towards both to fan the white blade of his second lightsabre through the barrels of both their blaster carbines, the sliced metal dropping to the deck between them. Seconds later, both dropped their ruined F-11D blasters.

    Twelve and the troopers stared past each other, with the hospital visitor noting the jayteep'd warrior nipping into the corridor, and the door sealing in his wake.

    The Saber Guard noticed that the troopers' attention was no longer on him, and after glancing at their blank helmet lenses, he turned to see what they were looking at: spying the broad windows looking out across local space. Noticeable cracks were radiating out from the melted crater from the shot that had missed him.

    "Well, I hope you two have something to secure that window, cos I don't." Twelve stepped round the disarmed soldiers and stepped towards the doorway, turning his left fist over to aim its lightsabre towards the floor, then burnt a vertical slash up the durasteel, yellow flames licking up the gouge that he had put into the door.

    "Sir, if we open that door, we risk depressurising the entire deck." One of the two announced.

    "I don't care." Twelve announced as he pressed his attack on the barrier, deactivating his second weapon and hooking it back to his belt. "I'm not waiting in here to die."

    "Wait, wait." Implored one of the troopers, unclipping a subtle orange half-cylinder from his equipment belt, something within it clicking as he gave it a rapid shake, turning towards the window. "Frak Up Foam."

    "Captain Phasma reckons that carrying that is an admission weakness." The other trooper announced.

    Twelve noticed that the second soldier did not have a similar attachment to his own belt. "Frak Up Foam." He echoed, as the first one walked up to the window, still shaking the cylinder.

    "Technically, Stray Fire Emergency Patching Foam." The second trooper explained from the middle of the room. "Frak Up Foam. Captain Phasma doesn't believe in stray fire. Apparently, telling people not to shoot spaceship windows out, ought to be enough." He turned back to his partner. "Y'know, Thirty-Three, it would help if you moved with a bit more urgency."

    The stormtrooper sprayed white foam over the cracks first, the stuff expanding as soon as it hit the rectangular pane, making a many-armed starfish pattern first, then getting elaborate, presumably to strengthen the thing.

    The Saber Guard turned back to the doorway and sawed at it, pushing the lightsabre blade down to hip level, a thick river of orangey-silver molten metal dripping down the portal, and pooling on the deck.

    Satisfied that he was making as fast progress as he could, he briefly contemplated mind-tricking that second soldier into carrying this 'Frak Up Foam' in the future, regardless of how Phasma felt about it, but he figured this lesson should have done that for him. Besides, there was no telling what Ren was doing out there, perhaps to the lovely Philippa. That thought added extra impetus to his urgency, but he wasn't able to cut through this blast door any quicker.

    "Well, that's all I can do." He heard behind him. "This one's empty. How you doing with that door?"

    "Not doing fantastic here." He admitted.

    To be continued, though I honestly wouldn't hold your breath.

    - Twelve's shuttle is named after the Doctor Who (12th and Clara) novel by Trevor Baxendale, sitting next to me.
    - Twelve's greeting to the patient is from Bad Boys II.
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2019
  5. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Nov 22, 1999
    Re: "Island Surprise". Well, that certainly was a surprise! Hello, Mara, was not expecting to see you a bikini!

    Poor Chewie; I hope that Rey can put him back the way he was, but I have a feeling he'll never be the same again.
    This nearly made me snort my coffee :D. And poor Luke, gone from savior of the galaxy to hot chocolate barista. I can't honestly blame Mara on this one, though. I also thought the idea of Luke's saber chewing him out was very clever.

    You have a real talent for dry humor, and I will return soon for some more snarky fun, but I wanted to review this story while it was fresh in my mind. =D=
    AzureAngel2, Sith-I-5 and Findswoman like this.
  6. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Thank you, Raissa Baiard .

    Very glad that you liked it, and that you told me that reaction to the 'rejuv'' line! :D

    Nothing wrong with your reviewing skillz, from what I can see; and I look forward to seeing to seeing you here again.
    AzureAngel2 and Ewok Poet like this.
  7. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    "Island Surprise": Wow, this is a very different take on the Luke-Rey meeting than just about any other TFA story I've seen on here! I could definitely see Rey, with her acclimation to the desert, being a little chilly on maritime Ahch-to, and besides being nice and warm I bet that hot chocolate is more luxurious than anything she's eaten or drunk before. Your trademark wry humor comes through in several spots in this, and it would take me too long to list all those spots, so I'll just single out two I found particularly fun: the lightsaber's viewpoint about all the crazy places it's been, from Bespin to Maz Ka-whatsits, and Luke's "Pressure much?" response to Rey's comment about the galaxy needing him. :)

    "The Millennium Falcon...": Fun use of "treknobabble" ("warsnobabble"?) here. I can just see Kylo pretending he knows what they're talking about even when he likely has never bothered to learn anything about the technological workings of his superweapon—kind of reminded me of that Adam Driver "Undercover Boss" skit. Can really hear the Adam Driver of that skit speaking in this story. :) And Hux's "puss puss dins dins" comment was just priceless—I bet he is one of very few people who can get away with making that kind of remark to His Lordship Mr. EmoHair. :p

    "Sage Advice": The question at the beginning is certainly a valid one, given what we're given to understand about Finn's origins—it's not like young Stormie recruits get much chance to enjoy the old stories of heroes. Very mysterious, this call for help flashed out on the lights of the habitation block, and given what w know about Finn's later defection, I'm not surprised that Finn is the one noticing it and running off to the rescue, even if what he finds is slightly disconcerting to a wholesome young fellow like himself. :s And very fun twist at the end where we find out who it really was in that silver armor—I knew that speech didn't quite seem Phasma-like! [face_laugh] (Poor Capt. Phasma, she was such a nebbish in the film...)

    "Hospital Visit": Ooh, I can tell Twelve has a one heck of a prank planned against Lord EmoHair with this "jayteep" and hair braiding! Either that or a scathing revenge... or perhaps a little of both at once, which is what it turns out to be. Twelve means business and on his bad side is not a place I would want to be. I don't know if he's established character or not, and if he does I'm not sure what his history is or whether he has a particular reason for revenging Han's death beyond just his own principles about what's right and wrong, but you've certainly set up an intersting dynamic between him and Kylo as "brothers" who are nevertheless nemeses of a sort. Let me know when the story continues! :)
  8. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Findswoman - Thank you very much for reviewing all four pieces. That was a very good point about " that Finn is the one noticing it and running off to the rescue"; I didn't make a conscious link between his running off to rescue Rey, and running off to rescue Phasma; but in hindsight - good spot.

    I am so glad that you enjoyed them, and will certainly advise when Hospital Visit continues.

    I think it was someone asking about non-romantic Kylo fics in the Looking For Fics thread, that made me want to do a meatier piece for Lord Ren, a bit of a chance to recover some of his street cred.
    Twelve is an original character of mine from roleplaying in the Merc-centric Star Wars: Intervention game.
    AzureAngel2 and Findswoman like this.
  9. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Nov 22, 1999
    Well, it took me longer to get back than I meant, but once again I enjoyed your unique brand of dry humor.

    "The Millennium Falcon....": nice to see that behind those starchy uniforms, the Imperials--sorry, First Order--panic like everyone else when the poodoo starts flying.
    :D I can just see the wizened old coot snarling that into his comlink. Scary.

    [face_rofl] [face_rofl] Love Hux's snark and loved the metaphor, but as for that black hole
    Seriously. You Imperials, whatever you're calling yourselves these days, never learn. Your overconfidence is still your weakness.

    Yavscout's comprehensive list of those to beware of was wise, if a bit eclectic, with its RPG references. And Finn is probably lucky Phasma was unarmed when he told her she looked like a princess. ;)
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  10. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Good to see you again, @Raissa Baiard .

    Glad you liked the other works. Perhaps it is because of the prevalence of cat lovers on here, but both you and Findswoman picked out Hux' "Puss puss puss, din dins" line as worthy of mention.

    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  11. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 26, 2016
    OK Sith-I-5 sorry it took me so long but I finally got round to looking at this. Just read the first one so far - island surprise.

    I was.... unsure how to react to this for a while. Sort of hypnotised. [face_hypnotized] Then I got to the Deus Ex Machina line and finally realised you were just having fun.:D

    Sorry to be so slow lol. Nicely done and a refreshing change! Thanks for sharing.

    I'll be back.:cool:

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  12. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Kurisan - Thank you for reading and commenting on the first story; I am glad that you eventually enjoyed it.
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  13. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Reading all those short stories in one go made me a bit dizzy, but it was fun.

    About: "Island Surprise"
    I like the fact that Mara is with Luke in this story and as gorgeous as ever. She is clearly the boss in the relationship, running the show.

    The question who Rey might be also finds a totally new, but plausible answer in your fic.

    "The Millennium Falcon..."
    To freely quote from the BBC series "Miranda": "Such fun!" For your Kylo is indeed such fun, no matter how vicious he is.

    "Sage Advice" & "Hospital Visit"
    Both stories have the wicked humour of a Monty Python show and are therefore fun to read. One has to read twice to be sure every joke is noticed & appreciated.
  14. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    AzureAngel2 - Thank you for the feedback. Glad you liked seeing Mara with Luke. Were you counting a certain Twi'lek Force Vampire as a plausible answer to Rey's existence?

    I still need to finish Hospital Visit, but a data loss took my material furthering Kylo and Twelve's fight, and my muse is being little help on the matter.
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  15. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Preparing the way

    Snoke: Origins / Meeting of the Three

    Snoke: Meet the Parents

    Snoke: Pirates
  16. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Preparing the way

    Snoke: Origins / Meeting of the Three

    Snoke: Meet the Parents

    Snoke: Pirates
  17. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Actually, I was. Which would give Rey an interesting touch, would it not? (And this is why I considered a Anzati theory about Aurra Sing´s un-known dad for the first time ever.)
  18. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    Snoke: Pirates

    OTP Crete non-challenge

    It's a sleepy morning in a little coastal village of Crete in the days of old and people are going quietly about their business, when the church bells begin to ring to signal that the pirates are coming.

    Everyone starts running in all directions to get the children, and most importantly the young women, to a safe hiding place -- because it is feared that the pirates will kidnap them and sell them as slaves.

    An elderly man who is sitting on the porch of his house, watching the world goes by, gets up as fast as he can and hobbles with his cane, well, tree, to the kitchen, where his elderly wife is preparing bushels of vegetables for lunch.

    The former Supreme Leader Snoke shuts his eyes before turning the corner and clapping his eyes upon her. "Wife, wife! You must hide! The pirates are coming!"

    The wife shrugs indifferently. "So what? I'm an old woman. My hair is white and I am wrinkled like a raisin. They'll take the young and pretty women, not an old grandmother like me."

    Her husband is still not reassured. "But what if," he objects, "what if they see you through my eyes, Mariana? Well," he hesitated, for the reason that sat between them like the Bantha in the room, "I say 'eyes', but-"

    "Hang on." She interrrupts.

    He feels a rush of wind past the right side of his face, and leans the other way. backing into the hallway wall.

    Outside, the rapid thunder and earthquake shaking of her footsteps quickly dies away, soon to be followed by a huge splash of water.

    He listens intensely, and the first sign that the crisis is over, is that the church bell stops tolling; and though the retired Mordling trusts his Mariana implicitly, a tiny part of him hopes she did not just take out the bell tower!

    As demigods to the simple people of Crete, they would get a pass for things like that, but why go there unnecessarily?

    Using the Force, he casts his mind out to the coastal waters, where he catches sight of the pirate ship, its sails and rigging in a tangled mess as the now two halves rapidly take on water and sink into the brine.

    If the tide was cooperative, or to use the local terminology, if Poseidon, no wait, hang on...he paused to consider. These abos had a sith tonne of sea gods.

    Snoke went to sit down on the simple wooden chair that he had fashioned himself after taking a good look at the tiny ones that the humans had, pinched his chin between thumb and forefinger in thought.
    "Oh yes, Charybdis." He recalled, continuing, "Sea monster and spirit of whirlpools and the tide."

    Poseidon was his boss, but unless he had skin in the game, it was up to Charybdis if the wreckage of the pirate ship washed ashore, to be picked over and salvaged by the islanders.

    The rapid booming of Mariana's heavy footsteps, each sounding heavy enough to split the island in half, approached. "Snookey?" She called upon discovering that he was not in or near the kitchen.

    "In here, Sweetheart." Through the Force, he could see that she was wiping her giant hands on an outer layer of the fading, vastly outsized Naboo Handmaiden costume that he had had made for her. The material that had gotten soaked had darkened to almost the original orangey-red. "Did you see Leucothea?" He enquired, referring to the sea goddess reputed to assist distressed sailors. Technically, that would be what the pirates would qualify as once his Mariana rocked up to their boat, assuming the wash from her wading through the waters had not floundered them first.

    "Hello? Weeping Angel?" She crowed, "I was there and done before they had a chance to get a prayer off. She's probably still up in Mount Olympus."

    That was why the former First Order leader had to keep his eyes shut around his missus; she was the Weeping Angel version of this planet's Statue of Liberty. If he or anyone else clapped eyes on her, she, like the others of the "loneliest race in the universe", would be instantly frozen, quantum locked.

    Perceiving her through the Force was okay though.

    She could move, dress, undress, wash, peel vegetables, crush invading pirate fleets, and be his companion into his last days.
    Though as he admitted into the bathroom mirror almost every day, he was no 'catch', she was lucky to have him. And she knew it.

    "What?" Mariana enquired, upon seeing a smile creep slowly onto Snoke wrinkled visage.

    "Oh nothing, Dear." He was thinking about when he did look upon her. He was fond of triggering the quantum lock state in her moments of undress, transmuting her to porcelain just when her outer garments were being pulled up and gathered around her head and shoulders.

    Okay granted, she was a statue..., but he could leer.

    The End
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  19. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Can´t wait for those! A Snoke written by you should be sinister and interesting.
  20. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    I'm working on the third one now; it's a quick short based on, or a response to, that OTP non-competitive challenge Crete prompt.
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  21. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    I get back to that later! Got a horrible mix up here with my Celtic challenges.
  22. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    You hid a lot of Percy Jackson and Doctor Who in your story. I simply love that. Plus it is a refreshing view on Snoke, centred in Greece now of all places. I wonder what Chyntuck has to say about her new neighbour. ;)
  23. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 14, 2002
    AzureAngel2 - thank you for answering the call, and being true to your comment that you would read the Snoke entries.

    I went to Wikipedia, so as not to confuse the Roman and Cretian gods, and was surprised at the sheer list that the Greeks had, of deities.

    I am not sure if those gods exist in this story, exchanging pleasantries with Snoke and Mariana; or he is just aware of the humans' superstitions.
  24. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    The Romans stole everything from the Greek. If you ever get around reading the "Percy Jackson" novels by Rick Riordan, then you will get the fun explanations on all of those.
  25. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    First I had a laugh at this because my dad used to call my mom Marijana (yup, one letter extra, but pronounced the same) and he was definitely not Snoke. :D And then, yeah, I gave it a read because you took a part in the challenge and it looked like a retelling of the original, albeit with a twist.


    Snoke himself is the twist here. The idea of him having a weak, sweet spot for a woman is interesting and the thought of putting HIM, out of ALL SW CHARACTERS in this story was pretty brave. Now, how did he get to this retirement-like state could make for another story. :) And I love it how he's some sort of a King Midas variant here. I understand that this comes from the Doctor Who universe, which I'm not familiar with, but it fits with the Greek mythology just fine. Snokey, just don't open your eyes, mmmkay?

    One little thing: Mount Olympus is in Thessaly, on the border with Aegean Macedonia, and it definitely cannot be seen from Crete. Of course, you were not supposed to know this or anything, but I would just like to point that out.
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