The Church of Waru

Definitely Jello....

Going into the religion.... so passe....

I make my own trends... I go into Usherdom!

*Gets the collection baskets*

 

I Jon_Bidinger, ARC Trooper, pledge myself to the Church of Waru. I have spoken to Waru, and the Great Waru says that I shall be Security Guard of the Church of Waru! Waru says that someone might want to assassinate the Waru-ness.
And I can lead the Army of Waru if there ever is one.
(We must make the rest of the Galaxy see the light that is WARU!!!)
Since Waru said that i wil be Security Guard, I will change my sig now.

All Hail Waru!!!!!

 

Waru's a very economically astute deity and businessman.

Just like Scientology! Can we have pompous celebrities, too? If we combine our efforts, I'm certain we could convert John Travolta...

 

I'm afraid Waru has told me that I was mistaken, I am not to be security guard, and that I am not allowed to be a member. Good bye!

"Pretend I was never here"

 

darth_Boba posted on 5/28/05 10:00pm

---

After careful observation, I have determined that Waru is in fact in the films. His first appearance is as the force field under Luke's landspeeder in ANH, but after the Special Editions, I suppose that no longer counts. That leaves his most important appearance, The Emperor's Hood-Slug. He's obviously controlling Palpatine's mind in ROTJ and is in control of everything that happens in the Throne room. Just another one of his attempts to rid the galaxy of the Skywalker family.
[hr][/blockquote]

Just thought I should bring that over, seeing as that thread kind of died (can Waru bring things back from the dead? Was he Darth Plagueis?).

 

Assuming they don't have a rule against me getting kicked out because I accidently started this thing.

Sorry, but you must accept your destiny. Do you think that K'Kruhk asked to be the Chosen One, hmmmmm? Surely you realize that your place is either within our cult...or within our stomachs.



Waru was Plagueis's master.

It's absolutely true. Under the title of Darth Globulous, he took Plagueis as his apprentice. It was in fact he who taught Plagueis the key to cheating death.

 

May I be the Great Waru's cleaner? If he accepts it, I shall polish him until he shines even brighter than he does now, and I shall make sure that his ichorness is always golden enough.

 

*bows when he enters the church and crawls on all fours up to the great Waru altar*

Oh Great and Mighty Waru! Give me the power to smite my Enemies with the power of Hippie-Music and Nude Love-Ins!

*bows and bows and bows and bows and bows and bows and bows and bows and bows until his bows are sore*

 

When is the Waru day of worship?

I was thinking it was like a tuesday or something...hmm
I suppose the great Waru of Waru will reveal this to us.

*Plays "Waru, Waru, everybody loves a Waru!"

 

Ok, time for my heretic duties!


You guys worship a gold blob that got killed, have a cult called CoW, and I dare say the ultimate insult and blasphemy!



wait for it















wait for it









wait for it


Waru is not good enough for Star Trek

He even makes Callista look good!

*heretic esque cackle*

-The Scummy-

 

*sneaks in*

Well, Callista has to have something going for her...

Oh great Waru, forgive my sarcasm within the walls of your mighty temple! I am but a sorry castaway from the FF forums...

 

Every day is an ugly day for Waru.

*does my heretic cackle while rubbing my fingers together*

-The Scummy-

 

A heretic!!

Burn him on a stick!!

 

Can't touch this! *can't touch this song plays, Family Guy remix version*

-The Scummy-

 

oops, recorded Star Trek reruns over those!

-The Scummy-

 

And then we'll make him watch Star Trek!!

 

Better then watching Waru!

-The Scummy-

 

*thinks of something even more gruesome*

 

Hmm, being a heretic is fun!

-The Scummy-

 

*thinks long and hard*

Hey, there is nothing more gruesome that Star Trek!



...except OPPM!

 

Star Trek is the Abyss within the Church of Waru.

Any such worshiper of "The Trek", will be condemned to the Abyss.