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Beyond - Legends The Corellian Roundabout - Han/Jaina, one-shot (spawned by an autocorrect fail in the Writer's Desk)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by jcgoble3, Feb 10, 2015.

  1. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Title: The Corellian Roundabout
    Time frame: 23 ABY (Note that this is in the same time frame as the Young Jedi Knights series, which I have not read, so it may conflict with that. If so, consider it an AU.)
    Summary: Han and a teenage Jaina, out for some quality father-daughter time, encounter something Han quickly discovers that he hates: Corellia's new traffic circle.
    Notes: Ewok Poet tried to type “Corellian runabout” in the Writers' Desk, her tablet autocorrected “runabout” to “roundabout”, hilarity ensued, and this is the end result. [face_devil]
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to Disney. Many thanks to George Lucas for the sandbox that is the Star Wars universe.

    * * * * *

    Han merged onto the main road as he asked his daughter a question. “Enjoying the day so far?”

    Jaina grinned. “If you mean did I enjoy beating the stuffing out of you in that dogfight simulator, yes.”

    “Not my fault that the computer assigned me to the TIE.”

    “Oh?” Jaina said with a giggle. “And here I thought you were the one that graduated from the Imperial Academy.”

    Han checked a street sign and moved into the right turn lane. “That was a long time ago. These days I just fly the Falcon. Besides, those things need shields.” He changed the subject as he turned down a side street. “So, where to next?”

    “How about the pool?” Jaina said as she kicked her shoes off and propped her feet up on the dashboard.

    “Jaina!” Han chastised. “Put your feet down.”

    Jaina merely turned her eyes toward her father. “Oh, since when did you become the commander?”

    Han snorted. It was true that back in the starfighter simulator at the arcade, the computer had, after assessing all players' performance in earlier battles, assigned Jaina the role of squadron commander in the final cooperative mission. And now she wouldn't let him forget it.

    Before he could think of a comeback, though, he was presented with a new problem. “What... is this?” he asked in confusion.

    “Oh, that's the new thing they put in a couple months ago,” Jaina said. “Called a roundabout.”

    “Well, how the heck do I navigate it?” Han wondered, his voice betraying his nervousness.

    “Easy-peasy,” Jaina said, putting her feet back down. “I read about these. Just slip in, go counter-clockwise, and exit.”

    Han didn't think it was that easy. He approached, then hit the brakes, stopping first.

    “No, don't stop,” Jaina said. “Just—”

    Han was decidedly not in the mood for backseat driving. “Quiet!”

    He waited for a moment, studying the traffic flow, until the driver behind him blew his horn. “Alright, alright,” he muttered as he slowly accelerated—then had to floor the throttle when he nearly got rear-ended by a speeder already in the circle, resulting in another blaring horn.

    “Now—” Jaina tried.

    “Shut up!” Han yelled. He tried to drive around the circle, but apparently wasn't going fast enough for the person behind him, bringing the number of horns blown at him to three. Finally, he turned the wheel to the right and left the roundabout behind.

    Han let out a sigh of relief. “If I don't have to do that again ever, I'll be a happy man.”

    “Bad news, Dad: they're putting in more of these.” Jaina said.

    “Then I'll just find a way to avoid them.”

    “Oh, and you went too far around the circle. We're on the wrong road.”

    Han instantly put his head on a swivel. The kid was right: this was not the street they wanted. And to get onto the correct one...

    Han pulled over on the side of the road and put his head in his hands. “I don't want to deal with that... thing again,” he said, spitting out the word “thing” as if it were the dirtiest word known to sentient beings. “Can we just skip the pool today and go somewhere else? Please? For the sake of my sanity?”

    “No, I wanna go to the pool. Even if I have to drive.”

    “Jaina, you're only fourteen years old. You're not old enough to drive a landspeeder on Corellia.”

    “Do you really think local police will mess with the family of the leader of the biggest interplanetary government in the galaxy?”

    “Fine,” Han said, reaching for the door handle. Being the husband of the New Republic Chief of State could be frustrating at times, but it did come in useful on occasion. “Just don't wreck it.”

    Han circled around, climbed into the passenger seat and reached for the seat belt. He didn't even have a chance to buckle it before he was thrown to the right as Jaina whipped the speeder through a fast U-turn.

    “Jaina! Slow down!” he yelled, more out of fear for himself than for Jaina's own safety. He finally buckled his seat belt, but they were already almost on top of the roundabout. “Now,” he started to say in a calmer voice, “take it eaeeeeEEEEEEAAAAA!”

    Before he could finish, Jaina cut the wheel and entered the roundabout, barely slowing down. Han grabbed the center console with one hand and the door with the other one, bracing himself against the centrifugal force as Jaina piloted the speeder around the circle. After a few seconds, he was suddenly almost thrown into Jaina as she spun the steering wheel the other way to exit the circle, as he noticed a Drall pedestrian on the sidewalk pull her toddler back.

    Jaina finally slowed down and pulled over, and it was only then that Han realized how hard he was breathing. He took a few moments to catch his breath and compose himself before speaking. “Did you have to go that fast?!”

    “Yes, to prove my point. And speaking of points, that makes it two–nothing, me.”

    “Now wait a minute here. What's this business about keeping score?”

    Jaina turned to look at her father. “One for the starfighter game at the arcade,” she said, grinning, “and one for the roundabout.”

    Han crossed his arms. “And how do you figure...”

    He never finished his thought because at that moment, they heard the chirp of a siren behind them. Han and Jaina simultaneously turned their heads to see a local police speeder parked behind them with its lights flashing.

    The elder Solo spun back around and stared at his daughter. “Now remember, this was your idea, and you're the one answering to Mom if you end up in jail for not having a license. That said, let me do the talking.”

    There was a knock on the driver's window, and Jaina hit the button to lower the window. “License, registration, and proof of insurance, please,” the officer said.

    “Well,” Han said, leaning over, “registration and insurance aren't a problem. I've got those right here.” He fished around in the center console and pulled out two pieces of paper, handing them to the cop. “As for a license, she doesn't have one, but this is the one you really want to see,” he said as he pulled his New Republic government official identification out of his wallet, identifying him as the First Husband of the New Republic, and handed it over as well.

    The officer looked at the ID, then leaned down to get a better look at Han. “That's very interesting, sir, but what's your point?”

    “My point is that my wife doesn't take kindly to people messing with her family. And my wife has a little more power at her disposal than you and your police department do. That's not a threat,” Han added, “just a fact.”

    “Your wife, huh?” the officer said, his tone of voice conveying that he knew exactly who Han's wife was and exactly how much power she had. “While I consider that, do either of you know why I stopped you?”

    “For her being too young?” Han asked.

    “Actually, no, that wasn't the original reason for the stop. Back at the roundabout, did either of you see a couple of Drall on the sidewalk stop to wait on you?”

    “Yeah,” Han said. “What about it?”

    “Well, this is probably the least understood part of the roundabout rules, but you are required to yield to waiting pedestrians, both when entering and exiting the circle.”

    Jaina immediately lowered her head and smacked her forehead with her palm. “I knew that,” she muttered.

    The officer took a minute to give Han's government ID a closer inspection. Satisfied, he handed it back along with the registration and insurance proof. “I'll tell you what. It's the end of my shift, I don't want to deal with the extra paperwork that an arrest would produce, or even the little bit of paperwork a ticket would require, and you make a fair point that getting on the New Republic Chief of State's bad side is not a good idea. So how about I just let her off with a verbal warning for failure to yield, and order you two to swap seats. Does that sound fair?”

    Han smiled, and both he and Jaina unbuckled their seat belts, circled the speeder, and got in the correct seats.

    Satisfied, the officer said goodbye, leaving Han sitting in the driver's seat thinking.

    “Whatcha thinking about, Dad?” Jaina asked.

    “I'm thinking I'd really like to take a nap by the side of the pool right now. Relax a little.”

    Jaina laughed. “Then let's go. And remember I still lead two to nothing.”

    Han put the speeder in gear and merged into traffic. “Nope. It's back to one–nothing now. You lose the roundabout point because of the traffic violation.”

    “Dad!”

    “Hey, you brought that on yourself.” Han grinned. “Next stop, the pool. And on the way back, I think we'll take the long way around.”
     
  2. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    [face_rofl] [face_rofl] [face_rofl]

    Now we all know how to get you to write more often. We'll all start making typos on purpose in the writer's desk :p
     
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  3. Revanfan1

    Revanfan1 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2013
    The town I live in has roundabouts; this hits close to home! [face_laugh]
     
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  4. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    [face_laugh] !!

    So awesome that this materialized—what a hoot! As someone who has to brave not one but two roundabouts on the way to and from work each day, often under snowy conditions (Hoth roundabouts, anyone?), I sympathize completely with Han's frustration. And then having to deal with his not-so-little girl's burgeoning hotshotism on top of that... the man deserves that nap by the pool. Really fun how you translated everyday earthling traffic frustrations into the GFFA. More, please! :D
     
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  5. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 22, 2013
    [​IMG]

    This needs to be the sequel prequel. [face_laugh]
     
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  6. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    My first experience with the Square was exactly like Han's. Well, except I knew when to get out of the circle and that was the easiest part. After that, I took every side street that I could just to avoid the Square.
     
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  7. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Thanks for the comments, everyone! :)

    I don't know how well that'll work. The way this literally came to be was that I read the Writer's Desk discussion, realized I had to poop while doing so, used the time while I was sitting on the toilet to invent the plot, typed it into Notepad++ when I got back to the computer, and immediately posted that I had written the plot.

    There aren't any near me, at least that I know of, but there's one on a back road near Kings Island amusement park that I've driven through a couple of times. I actually have no problem with them, but I know a few people that hate them.

    That said, I don't want to have to deal with a roundabout in the snow! Especially if it hasn't been plowed yet. I can't imagine what it's like trying to find the lane in a roundabout without being able to see the road markings. It's bad enough at a regular intersection. 8-}
    Don't know that I could make that work. Hoth doesn't have roads, and normal engines apparently don't work in the extreme cold without modification (hence why Han had to go after Luke on a tauntaun). :p (Though it has the potential to be hilarious if it could work. [face_laugh])

    I don't blame you. :p
     
  8. ThreadSketch

    ThreadSketch Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 22, 2013
    TMI, bro. [face_sick][face_rofl] But impressive nonetheless, LOL.
     
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  9. Gemma

    Gemma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 25, 2013
    Well I hate roundabouts and avoid the one I can. And just to give you an idea how much I really hate them - the one I could not avoid was one I had to use to go to a doctor. I didn't like the doctor that well so I switched to a new doctor - whew no more roundabouts.
     
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  10. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    That's a strong opinion! [face_laugh]
     
  11. Annia Piet

    Annia Piet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 7, 2015
    Love this, really made me laugh, as I'm currently learning to drive in the UK, where we use roundabouts EVERYWHERE! So a lot of empathy with Han's feelings here (although I also find it hard to imagine how US traffic works without them!)
     
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  12. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Generally, life without roundabouts is a life spent waiting at red lights, waiting for traffic to clear so you can proceed from a stop sign, and worrying about getting T-boned because the driver on the cross street didn't see you (I have to deal with that at a specific intersection a quarter-mile from my house on a daily basis). I'm all for more roundabouts, as I don't really have a problem with them, but I'm aware that that is an unpopular opinion on this side of the pond. :p
     
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  13. Annia Piet

    Annia Piet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 7, 2015
    I can understand people's concern if they're not used to them as it was certainly terrifying the first time I navigated a busy roundabout! Over here we're all so used to them and all understand how to use them that it works really smoothly (most of the time), and I'd hate to be stuck at traffic lights all the time for no reason!

    I find the difference in driving cultures in different countries fascinating - traffic in Rome, for example, is terrifying to be anywhere near! The roundabout appeals to theBritish queuing instinct I suspect :)
     
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  14. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Welcome to the boards, Annia Piet. Good to meet you. :)

    I have nothing in particular against roundabouts, and the two that are part of my drive to work definitely do much to prevent annoying traffic buildup on a busy county road. But when there's snow on the ground—and here in Wisconsin we get a lot of that, of course—navigating them can be downright scary. One just has to go much, much slower than normal under such circumstances.
     
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  15. Force Smuggler

    Force Smuggler Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2012
    Love it!
     
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  16. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    First of all...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MY AUTOCORRECT. XD

    Love this for multiple reasons - but most of all, Jaina owning her dad, a famed pilot, in a computer game, yet sitting with her feet up in a freakin' speeder, out of all things. You perfectly incorporater both of her parents' characteristics here.

    Also, the idea of a trophy hubby trying to get out of a mess...LMAO!
     
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  17. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Very funny.
    We have a lot of roundabouts and some are 'think before you do' roundabouts
     
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  18. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Thanks for the comment!

    Autocorrect can be evil and hilarious at the same time. [face_devil]

    Glad you liked it!

    Indeed, roundabouts do require some extra thinking. I secretly think that that's why they're not very popular here in the U.S. :p
     
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