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Before - Legends The Fields of Elysia - (Qui/Obi, OCs, JA) - *9th Update - 23/9*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ithesock, Jun 5, 2005.

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  1. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    'Be Careful What You Wish For...'

    On the other hand, don't. You sealed your fate with those words. :D .

    >>>The scene seemed so very real to me almost as if I were right there, part of it.>>>
    I kept thinking about those words all of yesterday. Thank you. :) More soon. Hopefully.

    Shaindl: You thought your post-quality was dropping?! Impossible! (Let me guess, the first was o_e, and the second was Indra?) I'm probably dead wrong, but hey...

    And the next post has Qui in it. :D But you'll have to wait a bit. :D. Thanks for the comments - especially the inserted one. I love it when I can (still) suprise you. :D

     
  2. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    First, thanks. :) Second, you pegged my two betas correctly. What can I say? OE doesn't tend to pull punches with me. :p Looking forward to the post whenever it appears. :)
     
  3. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    I echo everyone else. Your pacing is fine. It's your story anyway! :)
     
  4. Seven

    Seven Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2000
    So.. Master?

    If I can post anytime, does that mean that I can post more and rant about how much fun LEGO Star Wars is? 8-}

    ~shakes self~

    No Matter!

    And that I might beg in very whiney tones about wanting another post? ...Well, maybe not so whiney...

    ~gets an idea and runs into the kitchen~

    I have cake! If I share will I get a post? Please????

    With All Devotion,
    Seven
     
  5. Jennifer_Lyn

    Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2005
    Oh my! That's all so far!
    I've just discovered this. I love it! Wow, what emotions. I love how you're handling our dynamic duo.
    More please!
     
  6. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    I'm actually shocked you had any issues with the pacing, P_A. This story is, quite simply, an astounding piece of work. I wait anxiously for every post, and have to read it through several times, just to savor all that's there. I for one want it to last as long as it possibly can...but a post would be nice. [face_batting] [face_mischief]
     
  7. River_Stone

    River_Stone Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 7, 2005
    You're cruel, do you know that? Cruel, I say. Just cruel. ;)I'm running out of compliments to give you (and you deserve so many!) and then you make us wait more than ten seconds for a post! If if didn't love your writing so much... [face_love]

    My dear, the story is astounding - you don't need to change it.

    The pacing is perfect - I think it possible you would lose some of the empathy towards the characters if you quickened it. And what a beautiful contrast of reactions you have given us! You have a talent for creating a realistic feel for a story that is very difficult to achieve. Did I mention that I'm jealous of you? No? Well I am. And for that I will buy you cakes!

    Keep up the great work. May the pen never fall from your talented hand.

    [face_love]
    xxx

     
  8. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Reply-time... :)

    -Darksaber- : Thank you. :)

    dianethx: >>>More please!!!>>> Coming up. Soon. :)

    Shaindl: >>>Hope to see more soon>> :D.

    LuvEwan: Thanks so much. [face_love] I'm glad the pacing seemed alright to you.

    Kynstar: More confused emotions coming up. :D

    VaderLVR64: Thank you. :)

    PadawanEstel: I'm hoping they will resolve it too. And welcome! :)

    Padawan: Yup, Qui is a good man. Even if he is misunderstood most of the time. :D More will be up soon, I hope. [face_praying] <Yay! Cake!>

    PadawanKitara: Thanks, PK.

    Jedi_Tigris: 'Rational', is right. It'd be fifficult even for the most stoic. Glad you like. :)

    maychorian: that neighbour will get what she deserves. Sort of. :D Thanks for reading.

    LilQui-Gon: Craaaazy, yes. ;)

    Master_Noi: Sigh. Don't you love it when merry mayhem ensues? :D

    Kadi: Thanks.

    Jennifer_Lyn: Yay...new reader! Welcome <does a 'welcome' jig'> Glad you like it so far.

    River_Stone: I was wondering where you'd dissappeared to. You're the one who's spoiling me, with all those lovely words about pens never falling from hands. [face_love] Thank you so much. <settles down with cake>

    Have sent the next post to be beta'ed. So it should be up soon... :)

     
  9. Seven

    Seven Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2000
    ....So Master... Now that you have the Lore-Master bit in your siggy, does that mean I have to post the story that it came from?

    And the post is being beta'ed? Awesome! Does that mean we get more soon?

    Your Devoted Lil' Paddy,
    Seven
     
  10. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Padawan: You get more...now. :D

    Note: Thanks to the lovely Shaindl, who, despite sickness, went through my sprawling work with a fine tooth comb, and did an awesome job of beta-ing. Thank you, m'dear. You rock! [:D]

    Note 2: Introduced a new word ' Aié', into the Naboo vocabulary. It's a variation of an exclamation I use often - 'Aiyo'. Means 'Ah', 'Oh'...or even 'Eh.' :p

    Now, for the post...

    **********************************

    VI


    A lone figure strode through the fields of waving wheit, his brown cloak swinging from his shoulders.

    Brief flashes of green met his eyes from among the path through the fields; it was doubtful that his glance at them was more than cursory. In another time and place, he would have stopped to enjoy Naboo?s rural beauty?now, his thoughts were elsewhere.

    They were, in fact, on Coruscant.

    In all his years as a Jedi?and he had seen a good many of them?it could not be said that Qui-Gon had never considered the possibility of meeting his birth parents. He was a Jedi, he had had the Force as an ally ever since he had been able to put a word to that eerie sense of energy that had always filled him?and he possessed an imagination. Not a trait endorsed by the Order, but one that had been of more service to him and Obi-Wan more times than he had cared to count. His Padawan shared the characteristic, and it was one of the things he liked best in his apprentice ? the young man could envision possibilities that?

    He stopped abruptly, boots scrunching in the middle of the path. Obi-Wan.

    His apprentice had raised his mental shields the moment they had stepped into the?the farmer?s household. Aside from interrupting him when he had held the farmer?s wife, Obi-Wan had remained silent?even when his Master had informed him, crisply, that he wished to go out.

    Had he not been aware of his padawan?s loyalty to him?and by the same token, his own loyalty to his apprentice, he would have felt more than a twinge of guilt. It was for Obi-Wan?s own good, however?he could not burden the boy with errant feelings, at the moment. His padawan would have to wait until he could collect his thoughts and bring them into some semblance of order.

    Order.

    That word brought him back to his reflections about Coruscant. Was this why the Council had allowed him to leave for Naboo? Had the Force somehow told them that he would meet?his parents? Impossible. The Council forbade attachments?for good reason, he admitted grudgingly. The life of a warrior did not allow for such things. It was better, much better when one did know one?s roots, that one had family on some planet in a corner of the galaxy, filled with doting parents, unsettled siblings?

    That woman?tall, piercing blue eyes and golden hair?she had been angry. He had felt the emotions sweep through him as though he had been thrown into one of the crashing seas of Na?bar?it had been one of the reasons for his swift departure. She and Lenora, between them, had almost overwhelmed him. Not a mean feat, considering his stature as a Jedi Master.

    Even Jedi Masters, however, required meditation and solitude to sift through their emotions. To wonder about the mysterious ways of the Force, which seemed to play with lives by catapulting them into extraordinary situations?to look into an old man?s?father?s??bright blue eyes, seeing the joy that came with knowing that one of his own was now an accomplished Jedi; to learn that?s one flesh and blood?Mother??she, who had given him life and love during his early, and now forgotten months of infancy, was fluctuating between a wild desire to hold him and never to see him again; to understand the sharp wave of anger radiating from a?from a sister.

    Jealousy was an emotion he was not comfortable with. He was human, and therefore subject to all the shades of emotion it was possible to be afflicted with, but jealousy had touched him but very slightly. His childhood, like
     
  11. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Awww :( Qui felt Obi's tension there when he saw the saying :(

    Loooooved this chapter! Poor Qui you can feel his slight confusion. And Obi gotta feel for him cuz he's left all alone with a housefull of Jinns! [face_worried] At least Amri-Lon is sweet :) growing lads need nourishment ;) Yep that they do! :D
     
  12. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Whoa. :eek: How you pack so much emotion and beautiful description into this, I'll never know. That was wonderful. I was glad to read that Qui-Gon isn't oblivious of how Obi-Wan is feeling at the moment. You write their relationship so well, and create circumstances around them that allow the reader to escape into an entirely different, distinct realm. You're so talented. Great job. =D=
     
  13. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Aww, [face_blush] thanks. That's sweet. I'm glad I could help. :)

    I really love Qui's confusion - that's very realistic. Like I told you, I also really like how part him is trying to distance himself from the Jinns by saying 'the farmer' and 'the farmer's wife' while at the same time his mind is interjecting 'mother' and 'father'. Great job with that. :)

    Shaindl
     
  14. Seven

    Seven Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2000
    ~stares in awe~

    Oh Master! This was beautiful! You continue to astound me with your fine weaving of words. Molding them into something that can only be discribed as... indiscribably magnificent. @};-

    Everyone in this chapter was so well written, and everything was so discriptive, I don't even know where to start.

    Qui-Gon was so well done here. And his speaking of his loyalty to Obi-Wan was well placed and absolutley marvelous. I felt so bad for the pair of them.

    Obi-Wan was just as spectacular. His emotions rang true and clear, and it was always true to his character.

    "Farmer Lon" though could use a little reality check. I think he's being a wee bit inconsiderate to his daughters feelings.

    Though I really can't wait until they're all together again.

    Your Devoted Little Padawan,
    Seven
     
  15. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Aw, poor Qui-Gon, trying to deal. It IS interesting to consider why he was sent to Naboo. Maybe just to have a chance to reconnect, to learn something?

    Well, that was a particularly sharp-edged saying for poor Obi's eye to fall on just at that moment. Seemed tailor-made to prick his heart and make him doubt. Not quite so grown up, are we, young one? ;) Poor kiddo. Hope Qui-Gon finishes his business and gets back to deal with all the confusion soon. Great job!
     
  16. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Poor Qui-Gon! I just want to hold him close and tell him it will be all right!

    If truth be told?he had felt nothing, at first. The Force had burst through him, to be sure, but aside from a deep, numbing stillness, he had felt nothing at all. That was unsettling too. Did that mean that he had finally evolved into such a fine specimen of Jedi-hood that he was completely removed from his feelings...or did it warn of the calm before a lethal storm?

    Too much. You think too much, He murmured to himself. Feel, don?t think.


    Loved this bit! It was funny but also a little sad. :(

    Loving this!
     
  17. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    This was really quite lovely and rather sad. I loved Qui-Gon's musings, especially the ones about why he hadn't felt anything and his distancing, both in his mind (farmer, farmer's wife, the question of his hesitant sister) and in his body. Walking away from the group... very interesting. I'm curious as to why you did that. I will find out eventually.;)

    I loved the way Qui is thinking of his family and then Obi-Wan sees that saying...Strong is the tie of blood; stronger than a bond of trust?? Foolish Obi-Wan, to be so upset about a saying, when he is Qui-Gon's focus, his apprentice and his legacy to the Jedi. Blood is all well and good but Obi-Wan was chosen, not born into Qui-Gon's life - that should be stronger than any tie of blood.

    Great job. Looking forward to seeing where Qui is going.
     
  18. Lady_Snow_Kaguya

    Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jun 9, 2005

    Oh! splended update! So many emotions and once again, Obi-wan has become slightly worried over his tie to his Master. Poor boy, but at least Qui's dad is being realtivly helpful and kind. Is this going to get qui/obi mushy soon? [face_batting]
    I don't agree that he needs to consider his daughter's feelings. Such jealousy sounds more normal from a child rather than an adult, especially her reflection the 'cmopetition'. But yeah, she is in shock mostly. Can't be easy for her.
     
  19. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I slippped in here so late this time that the best I can do is echo everyone else's sentiments
     
  20. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    I loved Qui-Gon's musings and that Obi-Wan understood he needed to be alone, even if that sticks him with the Jinn family for a while. I'm also glad Qui-Gon understands why Obi-Wan is somewhat uncomfortable.
     
  21. -Darksaber-

    -Darksaber- Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2005
    Excellent.
     
  22. PadawanEstel

    PadawanEstel Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 23, 2004
    Oh, poor baby! Make that poor babies.

    That last part with the saying on the wall... :_|
    Everyone's just so confused...:(
     
  23. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004

    Ditto, Ditto what everyone else said
    this is Awsome.[face_dancing]
     
  24. River_Stone

    River_Stone Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 7, 2005
    ?Strong is the tie of blood; stronger than a bond of trust??

    He swallowed, white knuckled hands gripped tightly.


    YAY!

    This, like all your other works, is purely astounding. How are you not a professional author? Seriously?

    Brilliance in its highest form. [face_love]

     
  25. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Wonderful chapter! I'm echoing what everyone else has said. :) But I wonder who Qui-Gon is going to contact?
     
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