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Before - Legends The First (OCs/Palpy Pre TPM) - Last Night- Update - 22 Sep (Sorry for the lateness!)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kynstar, Apr 12, 2004.

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  1. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    I just wanted to drop a line a say congratulations on your nominations! You truly deserve it! =D= Way to go! Looking forward to the next post!
     
  2. sdhfs

    sdhfs Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 22, 2004
    I have got to say that i'm suprized that is your first story,i mean it's one of the best stories around i have enjoyed reading it.
     
  3. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
  4. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    You deserve all of your nominations! Congratulations! :)
     
  5. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Glad you're enjoying itsdhfs! Thanks for reading!! :D

    Hey t_s! Thanks for the up! More soon once me beta gets back with me! :)

    Thanks Sabe126! I'm still shocked and amazed that it has been nominated!

    And thanks to all those who did nominate it! [face_love] you guys are the best!!! Thanks so much for sticking around to read about Menaria and Lindoro! They're happy to know they're loved! ;)

    As I said, as soon as me beta gives me the ok to post the next section, I'll do it! I have another ready for betaing once she ok's this one. :D :D Thanks soooo much!!! [:D]

     
  6. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Well...I hate to jump the gun and post this... but it's been nearly 2 weeks. And I can't wait ;) so here it is, forgive me Xeana! This post isn't as long as my usual, but it's a perfect division in between this and the next section. Hope ya like it!

    THANKS so much again for those who nominated my story and Menaria! [:D]
    _____
    Lindoro waited by the Council?s door. He was trying to figure out what they might want. I know it isn?t Menaria and I definitely know it isn?t me. I haven?t been anywhere to *do* anything. Unless?no! I will not think of Nar Shaddaa. Or could it be a mission? So soon? I hope not. I wanted to see my Master? But his thoughts were interrupted as the door slid open and a Senior Padawan bowed slightly, he assumed this was Lionel. ?Knight D?Lockens, they?ll see you now.? The young man stepped aside to let him through. Lindoro nodded and walked into the circular room. The young man stayed outside.

    Lindoro bowed respectfully at the few Councilors that were in the room; Masters Ki Adi Mundi, Adi Gallia, Mace Windu, and Yoda. Mace nodded in greeting to Lindoro.

    ?We would like you to hand carry a message to Senator Bail Organa. It is vital that he receives it and confidential enough to not send it by electronic means. He is on the 100th floor in room 162. You will not need to wait for a reply. He will be sending an aide later on or be coming here himself. We thank you and may the Force be with you.? Master Windu said as he got up and handed Lindoro the packet. Lindoro bowed once more and left.

    Being tasked to deliver the message was a distraction that brought a smile to the Knight?s serene face. A little time away from the Temple will be good. Not that I?m bored or anything?well sort of.

    Signing out one of the speeders wasn?t too much of a hassle. Knight Stani was on duty for the day.

    ?Hey D?Lockens, out for a spin?? The dark skinned human asked. He was a few years older than Lindoro. His height barely reached over five feet and was dressed in a unisuit that had multiple grease stains on it. At the moment he was wiping his hands off onto a dirty rag.

    Lindoro shook his head. ?No, actually running an errand for the Council.? He waited patiently as Stani put down the rag and brought out a rather large data pad. Nodding, the mechanic handed it over to the taller Knight. Lindoro keyed in his clearance code and destination of the speeder. He marked the speeder out for several hours. It was still early in the morning and Menaria had her classes up until lunchtime.

    ?Council seems to be having several folks running errands for them these last couple of days. Shoot the activities are picking up I guess. Makes you wish that a feller knew what was going on.? The man said as he ran a hand through his short salt-n-peppered cropped hair. Once Lindoro was done with inputting the information, he took the pad back.

    ?Yeah, guess so. See you around.? Lindoro nodded politely as he then headed off to the assigned speeder. He climbed in the speeder, started it, then headed off to join one of the many lines of traffic heading for the Senatorial building.

    Little did he know that with in minutes of his departure, another figure signed out a speeder and took off after him.

    I?ve always loved coming here as a Padawan. All the chaos was great; people rushing to and fro and all the bickering over miscellaneous topics. He sighed as he parked the speeder and leaped out of the seat.

    The man trailing Lindoro parked his speeder a little down from the taller Knight?s ride. He watched as Lindoro entered the building. Only pausing for a few moments he then slipped inside as well.

    As he entered the immense building, he paused momentarily to look around. The floor consisted of black marble with silvery swirls. A variety of races of people were walking around, talking in small groups, and working at numerous desks that were scattered though out the large room. Some of the walls had pictures that depicted the Republic in all its glory. Statues of pass Chancellors were lined
     
  7. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Very intriguing! LOL at the smiling Jedi comment. You captured the atmosphere of the senate beautifully. Palpatine getting involved is worrying, especially this mission he has planned for them! Also how does Organa fit into this?
     
  8. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Ahh. I see you're throwing Palpy and Bail into the mix. That should be interesting.

    Congatulations on those noms, Kynstar. I always thought that OC's were the most challenging to write and you do such a great job of it. You deserve the nod - even if you do always steal first post on me. ;)
     
  9. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    I tried so hard to have the first reply, but my computer is of the dark side! Great update--you make these characters just come alive. I really have enjoyed reading this story.


    Congrats on the nominations! =D=
     
  10. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Hey Sabe126 glad to see ya still interested! Thanks about the comment on the Senate! Wasn't 100% sure as to the entrance would truly be like so I juz threw something together! ;) hehehehehe

    Palpy has some time between his fiasco plans so he's entertaining himself. Unfortunately it is going to deal with Lin and due to association, Menaria as well.

    As for Organa... let's juz say it's a start of a beautiful friendship between Bail and the Jedi ;) hehehe well... administratively in a Republican manner hehehe. Thanks so much for reading!!!

    Opal! Hey you! ;) glad ya still enjoying the story and my OCs!! They are hard... but for some reason Lin, Delak, and Menaria juz sprung to my mind and demanded a part in a show....so I'm allowing them free rein! ;) Like I told Sabe above, Palpy's bored and Organa is just starting to begin his eventual relationship with the Jedi. It'll be revealed later that he's heading up the investigation on the 'corrupted' senators and is working with the Jedi.

    And I am still shocked about the nominations!!! I feel so lucky and previlige to have folks out there that truly enjoyed my story and OCs enough to nominate them!!

    And as for stealing the first posties... well you have beaten me before you know! ;) hehehe ahhh aren't we a matching pair? ;) I think we bring humor to the boards! Let us continue to do so!!! ;) At least it brightens my day ;) Thanks so much for sticking with my story!! :D :D

    And you, M'Lady jm2! I do know how evil computers can be sometimes!!! I hate them with a passion...but ironically enough I love to work on them! hehehe Thank you sooo much for continuing to read my story!! And I am SOOO enjoying your stories!! :D :D As for my OCs... well like I told Opal they demanded to be known! And I congradulate you once more on your nom as well!! :D

    For my 'blurb' I used the part where Lin is revealing some of his 'doings' and how he broke down and she comforts him. I thought that was a deep, heartfelt and revealing part of the story. For the Best Portrayal of a Child part I used the ritural for that.

    Thank you all so much for commenting and sticking with me on this! :D I'll be posting soon, prob next week :D
     
  11. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    glad to see ya still interested - Of course I'm still interested! :)
     
  12. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    Hmpf, somehow posting is difficult today. :(
    Palpi-Spider has his net ready now. Great work Kynstar! :D
     
  13. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    Yay!!! Another post!!! [face_dancing]

    Wonderful Kynstar. And now Palpatine's involved. Nice twist [face_devil] ;)

    I know Lindoro and Menaria will be up for the challenge. Lindoro is really growing on me [face_love]

    You write Palpatine really well. O:) Those two have quite mission in front of them if they go with Palpatine!!!

    Can't wait for more!!!

     
  14. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Sabe126 thanks so much!! :D :D

    jeday your right! Palpy has his webbing sprung out juz about everywhere!! Thanks again! :D

    t_s! Thanks! Glad ya like my portrayal of Palpy! I do believe that I enjoy Palpy in this time line the best (prior to the rise of the Empire). All the sneakiness has always been one of my fav things about viillans :D And yep, the mission is definitely going to prove most interesting to our little Jedi team! [face_devil]

    Thank you all for sticking with my story! :D :D
     
  15. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Once again want to thank you all for reading!!! :D hope you enjoy the next section... the next few sections might be a little dry to fill in between the times of the plotties I have instored. But I do hope they still prove entertaining!! *Sigh* How I kind'a wish Darth Maul hadn't been killed... but then again how could Dooku then Anakin fit in when his apprentices are killed? Oh well! Dag gone it! I said Dooku... *sigh* woo-hoo! [face_love]

    Here's the next installment!
    ______

    Senator Organa?s office was only a few doors down from the open balcony. Entering the large room, Lindoro was immediately astonished at all the artwork. Numerous pictures and miniature statues were aligned on and by the walls. Several pictures depicted sceneries from the planet Alderaan.

    ?May I help you?? A young woman asked as she looked up from her desk. Besides the desk there were several chairs and a couch that occupied the room.

    The woman had long blonde hair that was arranged in multiple braids. Her hazel eyes reflected the smile upon her face.

    ?I am Jedi Knight Lindoro D?Lockens. The Jedi Council sent me to deliver a package to Senator Organa, is he here?? Lindoro inquired as he nodded politely to her.

    ?Yes, hold on a moment and I?ll let him know that you are here.? She punched a few buttons and a deep elegant voice came over the console.

    ?Yes, Senia??

    ?Senator, Jedi Knight D?Lockens is here. He says he has a package from the Jedi Council.? She informed the Senator. Still smiling up at Lindoro.

    ?Yes, very good. I?m glad he?s arrived. I have been expecting him. Send him in please.?

    Lindoro heard the audible click as the man ended the connection.

    The young woman motioned the Jedi to proceed through the door that was off to her right. Lindoro nodded his thanks and approached the closed door which promptly opened at his presence. Senator Organa?s office revealed much the same type of artwork that was displayed in the waiting area. There were several comfortable chairs as well as a sleep couch that was against the far back wall near a large window that allowed a good view of Coruscant?s ever-flowing traffic and other buildings. Upon the few shelves on the walls beside the pictures, had numerous holo pics depicting obvious members of the Senator?s family.

    Senator Organa got up from his desk and approached the tall Knight offering his hand. Lindoro bowed respectively prior to grasping the man?s hand.

    ?Knight D?Lockens, good to meet you.? The Alderaanian Senator?s grip was strong. The man?s attire consisted of several shades of blue. It was stunning against his tanned skin. His dark hair was cut short and his mustache and goatee was trimmed close as well. His brown eyes sparkled with warmth that reflected his smile.

    ?Senator Organa.? He then offered the man the package that the Councilor had given him. ?The Council said you would send a reply later.?

    The Senator took the package gently. A worried look came and went so quickly that Lindoro had to pause to actually notice it.

    ?Yes, I believe I did tell Master Windu that. I thank you for bringing this. If I wasn?t so pressed for time I?d offer you a drink. Perhaps another time?? The Senator smiled as he apologized. He seemed actually put out that he couldn?t talk with the Jedi.

    Lindoro bowed in farewell. ?Possibly, if I happen to be in these neck of the woods.? Lindoro chuckled with the Senator.

    ?Yeah, well I must admit some of the other Senators can be wild and rowdy at times. And it does seem like a jungle out there once in a while.? Organa smiled as he nodded at Lindoro. ?It was nice meeting you, and thanks again for delivering this to me.?

    He bid the Senator good day and left.

    Smiling and nodding at the woman he passed her desk. She smiled in return bidding him good bye.

    Taking the turbolift down, he decided to visit the Senatorial Park for the next hour or so. I can then make it back to the Temple in time for lunch with Menaria. As he bowed at several passing senators as he made his way out of the building and onto a walkway
     
  16. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    Wonderful Kynstar! Yes, you definitely deserve the nominations! Menaria and Lindoro are great original characters.

    Loved seeing Palpatine put his plot into action [face_devil]

    And Lindoro! Great how we get bits and pieces of his mysterious past revealed to us. [face_love]

    I wonder what Palpatine is up to? Hmmm.... Very interesting!!! :D

    Loved your comment about Maul and Dooku in the beginning ;) Such great bad guys *sigh* [face_love]
     
  17. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Now the cards have been laid out. Soon the players will be at the table. And soon the game will begin. - Uh oh! That was very Palpatine and totally chilling.

    Like the hints at D?Lockens past. How much does Palpatine actually know?

    Looking forward to the next instalment :)

     
  18. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    t_s: Thanks! Glad ya enjoying it! Yeah Palpy is 'sweet' during these years I have always thought. (oh well repeating myself here *snrk* hehehe)
    His 'plans within plans' was always a kicker to me. And the nifty thing is about this plan he has for Lindoro is that it's going to work even better than he realizes! [face_devil]

    Sabe126: I thought the 'play on words' has always been a Palpy thing. Very charismatic at best! ;) Palpy knows a little bit more than what the Council knows!

    Thanks you two for reading!! :D Glad to be able to please!
     
  19. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Oooh. Enter Darth Maul. Brilliant, Kynstar. You have really blended your OC's into the wonderful world of the GFFA that we are all so familiar with.
     
  20. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    Way to go Kynstar! Adding Darth Maul into the mix--brilliant. I can't wait for more. Great job. =D=
     
  21. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Hehehehehe didn't expect *that* type of response with Maul ;) hehehe Ray did a heck of a job playing Darth Maul I thought hehehe So I kept it to the 'yes Master' and short words as he did in the movie hehehehe

    Glad you two enjoyed it!! :D :D

    Opal thank you for thinking that! ;) love mixing the canon pcs with me OCs ;)

    jm2 thank you as well! ;) I'm totally enjoying your stories :D :D :D

    Thanks for taking time to read!! More next Wed! Maybe earlier ;)
     
  22. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    I got an e-mail from me mum saying she's coming down this up coming mid week. So cuz of her coming I'm gonna try to post the next section Tues. So thought I'd give ya all heads up :)
     
  23. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Thank you all once more for reading and sticking with me story! ;) Here's the next installment!
    ____

    Delak's comlink beeped, halting further conversations about the celebrations. The table became quiet so the Master could answer the signal.

    "Master Delak, here." The Mon Calamari said as he put down his drink.

    "Master Delak, this is Padawan Lionel. The Council would like to see you." The Senior Padawan's voice cut through the silence.

    "I'll be right there." Delak replied and put up the comlink. He then retook his glass and finished off the drink. "Well Lindoro, guess that sparring we were going to do will have to wait another day. Perhaps tomorrow then?" He smiled as he got up. Grasping his plate and drink he nodded to the initiates and Menaria as they got up to bow respectively.

    "Sounds good to me, we'll do it tomorrow then. See you around Delak." Lindoro returned the aquatic Master's smile.

    Delak waved and headed out the door.

    Lindoro and the others finished up their meals.

    "Guess we'll see you later then, Menaria. We'll work on ideas for the celebration tomorrow. See you at evening meal. Good day Knight D'Lockens." Seriu said as he and the other two initiates got up from their benches. The three bowed farewell and took their plates and glasses with them.

    "Sounds good. We'll have to figure out what type of designs to use on the banners." Menaria waved goodbye to her friends as she waited for her Master to finish up the last of his meal.

    "Banners?" Lindoro asked in between his last bite of pasta.

    "We got selected to create banners for the festival. We're excited!" Upon his lifting of an eyebrow, she sighed and frowned slightly. "Yes, I know; 'A Jedi craves not excitement.'"

    Lindoro chuckled and nodded. "Well...some is not harmful as long as you keep your focus." At those words, the smile returned to her face.

    She then gathered her plate and glass and stood up to follow her Master as he took his own to the tray table.

    "We'll work on the defensive katas after our meditation. Hopefully I'll not hit the mat like I did the other day." His eyes sparkled with mirth as he chuckled.

    Menaria eyed Lindoro warily, though her own eyes reflected his humor.

    The two walked to their regular meditation room. An hour later, they headed for the gym.

    The four hours of practicing seem to have flown by all too quickly as Lindoro stepped back signaling the end to their lessons.

    Menaria took several deep slow breaths to slow her heart rate. Turning off her saber, she placed it back upon her belt. Using the sleeve of her tunic, she wiped the sweat from her face. She noticed that her Master had barely even lost his breath let alone had much more than a slight shimmering of moisture on his skin. Her undertunic was close to being drenched. She had taken her overtunic off prior to starting the lessons.

    "Let's do some cool downs then we'll shower. Excellent work out so far Menaria." He grinned with approval.

    She blushed a little and nodded her thanks.

    Lindoro placed his saber upon his belt and stepped closer to Menaria.

    The two began to move to one of the beginning levels of the katas.

    Lindoro moved his arms separately, left moving up while the right moved down then to the side. He slid across the ground circling around Menaria with his back to her.

    The Padawan reflected the Master's movements with her own back toward him. They continued the gradual movements of arms and legs circling one another for another few minutes. Then suddenly the two twirled at the same time turning to face one another.

    "Let the Force flow through you to allow a unity between your breathing and motions. Once one masters this technique, it transforms into something more." He eyed the girl as she nodded and seem to delve further into her concentration.

    They continued moving in different positions through a variety of motions ranging from gymnastic stretches to a few acrobatic flips.

    "The main lessons from these katas are to teach a person to flow from one style to the next without missing a
     
  24. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    Great post Kynstar! These OC's are wonderful. You portray these characters so realistically. I enjoy reading stories that you can see the events in your mind as they unfold. You do this so well! Keep it up and I can't wait for the next post.
     
  25. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Maybe they could put 'A Jedi craves not excitement' on the banner?! :)

    Nice to see their relationship developing well and that both are getting used to each other's company.
     
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