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Saga - ST The General's Wife (AU): Hux, OC (drama)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by divapilot, Jul 29, 2018.

  1. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Part 10.

    With directions provided by Dr. Ha’annok, Breha found her way through the complex to her mother’s quarters. Blue had been dismissed by his superior directly after the examination and there had been no sign of him when she left the medical center, but Breha took this as an opportunity to try to navigate the complex by herself. She was going to have to figure it out somehow anyway, she reasoned, and she may as well start now.

    As it turned out, General Organa’s quarters were not that far from the medical center. Breha raised her hand to press the door annunciator, but the door slid open before she got the chance. She shook her head. How like mom to know I was already here.

    “Come in,” Leia said, motioning for her daughter.

    Breha stepped into the room. It was small but comfortable. A table in the corner held at least four datapads that Breha could see, and she suspected there were others just out of sight. A small galley kitchen lay off the main room, and Breha surmised that a closed door concealed a bedroom.

    Leia herself was seated on a small sofa. She had exchanged her more militaristic trousers and tunic for a gray gown fretted with pale gold embroidery on the sleeves and hem. She smiled at Breha and patted the seat beside her.

    As Breha sat beside her mother, she glimpsed her own travel bag beside the door. Leia noted her gaze. “I took the liberty of bringing your things here. There’s a spare bed we can set up for now. I thought you might like to stay here in my quarters until you get settled.”

    “Thank you. That’s kind of you.”

    “Well, I didn’t bring you all the way here to make you sleep outside,” Leia said dryly. She reached over and stroked Breha’s hair. “What did Dr. Ha’annok say?”

    Breha raised her hand to her abdomen and caressed the pregnancy bump. “Everything is fine. The stun blast didn’t seem to do any damage after all.” She looked up at her mother and managed a smile. “And it’s a boy.”

    Leia smiled and placed her hand beside Breha’s. She closed her eyes. “I can feel him,” she said. “He’s strong. Like his mother.”

    The smile faded from Breha’s face. “I’m not strong. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m just endangering everyone.”

    “Oh, you come to the secret headquarters of the Resistance and you think you’re endangering us?” Leia smiled at Breha. “I think we can do endangering pretty well without your help. And you’re stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for.” Leia gestured toward a bowl of fruit on the small table in front of the sofa. “I got some jogan fruits for you. When I was pregnant, Dr. Kalonia recommended them to me for their health benefits.” She grew silent for a moment. “You would have liked her, Harter Kalonia. She helped me with my pregnancies. She would have been delighted to help you with yours.”

    Breha glanced at the bowl. “I’d kill for some muja fruit,” she said. “I’ve been craving it for weeks.”

    “Then I’ll see if the quartermaster can sneak some in for you.”

    They sat together in silence for a few minutes. Finally Leia spoke. “It’s going to take some time, Breha. But you will get better. You’ll find your confidence. In the meantime, you can stay here in my quarters. If you need to get out, Poe will be happy to show you around the facility.”

    “Thank you, Mom. It means more than you can know.” She hesitated before speaking again. “Speaking of Poe. He told me - he told me that you went into space without an EVA suit. That you should have died but you used the Force to propel yourself back to the ship. He said he pulled you through the airlock himself, and your skin was like ice.”

    Leia’s mouth pulled into a tight line. “It’s true.”

    “You almost died.”

    “Yes. I almost died. But I didn’t. Not yet.” Leia smiled reassuringly at her daughter. “I’m not going to lie and say I recovered without a scratch. But Dr. Ha’annok is taking care of me and we’re doing what we can.”

    Leia stood up. “It’s getting late, and you’ve had a full day. The service droid will be here soon to set up your bed. I should let you get some rest.”

    Breha stood up to stand beside her. “Thank you, Mom. For everything. For getting me out of there, for bringing me back to you.” She began to take the elegant ring off her finger. “Here. This is yours.”

    Leia placed her hands over her daughter’s. “Keep it. It looks good on you,” Leia said, smiling.

    “Thank you,” Breha said, sliding the ring back onto her finger. She looked at her mother. “I have something for you,” Breha said, taking a data card out of her pocket. She turned it over in her hand a few times before handing it to Leia. “You remember how I always liked to take things apart and see how they worked? Well, at the manor, I had a lot of time on my hands. I decided to learn what I could about computers. I wasn’t that good at it but I did learn a few things. I set up a program on Armitage’s computers to record what he entered, and I created this file from it. I don’t think Armitage suspected a thing. I know he communicates with the First Order from certain computers in the house. Somewhere on this are his password protocols.”

    Leia stared at her. “This could be ...significant. If we unlock his password protocols, we could read his correspondence with his ships without him even knowing. I’ll get our encryption specialists working on it first thing tomorrow.”

    “I thought maybe if I recorded it, I could study the data and figure out his password for myself. Then I could figure out how to unlock the communications systems, get information in or maybe get a message out.” Breha’s voice dropped to almost a whisper and she stared at the pale blue ribbon tied to her wrist. “I hoped I could find out about Marielle. Where she was. How she was doing.”

    Leia gave Breha a sympathetic hug. “We’re looking for Marielle. No one will stop until we find her and bring her back to you.”

    “Thank you.” Breha smiled sadly.

    Leia sighed and gently took Breha’s hands into her own. “We’re all we have left, now, you and I.”

    Breha’s eyes moistened. “I know.” She looked at her mother. “I heard about Dad.” She shook her head. “Armitage told me Ben did it. But Armitage has lied before, and I can’t believe Ben would be so cruel.”

    Leia paused to collect her thoughts, and Breha saw a glimpse emerge of the diplomat that her mother had always been. “Ben is not our Ben anymore,” Leia said quietly. “Snoke corrupted him. Taught him to live in resentment and rage. I don’t know why Ben hated Han so much, but whatever flicker of distrust or anger Ben had toward his father, Snoke fanned into a fury. So when Han tried to bring him back home, Ben killed him.”

    Breha shook her head. “He used to be so kind. I remember when we were kids, how Ben used to always look out for me. He loved animals and was always bringing home some pet or other. He used to play games with me, laugh with me…” Her voice trailed off.

    “That Ben is still in there somewhere,” Leia reassured her. “But now, especially now that he’s declared himself Supreme Leader, it’s even harder to find.”

    Breha looked at her mother sadly. “I’d like to do some kind of memorial for Dad.”

    “It’s fitting,” Leia said, nodding. “I have an idea we can talk about in the morning.”

    They were interrupted by the chiming of the door annunciator. “That’s the service droid here to set up your bed,” Leia said. She leaned in and kissed Breha’s forehead. “Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, darling girl.”

    Breha smiled. “Goodnight. I love you, Mom.”

    “I love you, too.” Leia said. She hugged Breha one last time, then turned away and headed toward her own bedroom.
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2019
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Beautifully touching conversation, full of warmth, honest emotions, and shared sorrow over losses.

    I am so happy there is no hesitancy or distancing due to the years apart. Leia is sweetly empathetic and Breha soaks it up like a sponge, thankfully.

    AzureAngel2, divapilot and Findswoman like this.
  3. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Wonderful, beautiful mother-daughter chat. [face_love] It's such a joy to see Breha's warm, loving, caring side being brought back out after so many years of it being quashed in her abusive marriage, and who better to help draw that back out than her mom, with her trademark combination of warmth and humor; I really can hear the older Carrie Fisher speaking her words. @};- Her reassurance to Breha that she's stronger than she thinks is so, so important—because Breha really is, as we have seen from the way she has come through the Nine Hells and more than she's come through and still kept her heart and resolve. Very bittersweet reminiscences about the Ben that once was (and that may still be "somewhere in there"); I noted that you have him as an animal lover, a cool touch linking him to the Legends Jacen with whom he has some essential similarities.

    And here's another wonderful way we know Breha hasn't succumbed to despair, in the way she's been able to record Armitage's computer activity and thus provide the Resistance with what likely will be immensely important intelligence; I'll be very curious to see what that will turn up! [face_thinking]

    Looking forward to more, as always, and so glad that Breha is truly "home" in the company of people who love her. [face_love]
  4. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    You write this story with great care and gentleness. Even though it is brutally honest about the subject of home violence. Thanks!
    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha likes this.
  5. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Thank you so much for commenting. I'd like to think that they would fall into familiar patterns pretty quickly. Leia may be a member of royalty and a formidable general, but to Breha, she's Mom. What Breha needs right now is unconditional love and support, and a reassurance that she did the right thing, and she gets that from Leia.

    Thank you very much for the thoughtful reply! It's a high compliment that you can hear Carrie Fischer's voice in the dialogue. I wanted to channel her snark and warmth here. Leia is a grounding force for Breha in her chaotic world. Breha knows she has someone who will be there for her always, regardless of what's gone past. And Leia knows what she's talking about; she's had so many tragic losses in her life and persevered through them. Breha is made from the same cloth. She'll survive this.
    I'm glad you caught that little Jacen/Ben reference. I like to think of Ben Solo as having some parts of young Jacen in him.

    Breha was motivated by a desire to find out her daughter's whereabouts. She's determined to get her little girl back. Besides, I suspect it gave her a certain satisfaction knowing that she slid something past Hux. In his arrogance, he underestimates her.
    I imagine Breha as having her dad's technical skills. She likes to pull things apart and see how they work, kind of like Legends Jaina did. Breha set up her own private security system in the mansion on Arkanis, too, to give her an early warning should Hux come home announced and bringing trouble with him. She's self-taught but she is smart and has an instinctive knack for mechanics.
    Breha will have to learn to trust people (other than her mom) again. But there are people who believe in her, who are on her side, and who are willing to love her. That's a good start to help her build a new life in the galaxy.

    Thank you very much! Breha is a survivor of a brutal marriage, one that was abusive mentally and physically. She has a long way to go, but she's on a good start.
  6. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Part 11.

    Sincere thanks to @Mira_Jade for allowing me to borrow her fanon from “We’ll Take a Cup of Kindness Yet.” I keep forgetting this is not canon, it’s so wonderful.

    A week after Breha arrived at the headquarters, three people gathered beside a river. Dusk was falling, and the light from the reddish sun cast amber-orange hues across their faces. Behind the group rose the mountains, their snowy caps rose-tinted from the setting sun. A trio of vehicles had made it to this spot -- one with the group, and two armed vehicles for security.

    Leia approached the river’s edge. The effort of navigating over the uneven ground was taxing, and she held onto Poe’s arm with one hand and employed a cane with the other. Behind her followed Breha. Both women wore white, as fitting for a Remembrance. Breha carried a small box and stood respectfully beside her mother.

    The water, chilled from the melted snow of the winter just passed, murmured gently. Leia paused and looked over the pastoral scene. Meadows undulated toward the horizon, the first hint of violet and red blushing across the grass. She sighed.

    “What is it?” Breha asked quietly.

    Leia paused before answering. “Reminds me of home. The mountains looked like this in the spring in Aldera. I used to watch the sunrise over Appenza Peak from my rooms.” She turned slowly, taking in the view. “I’m glad we’re here. This is a good place to come back to now.”

    Breha frowned. “What do you mean?”

    “Don’t mind me,” Leia said, waving away Breha’s concern. “Let’s begin. Do you remember the ceremony?”

    “It’s been a while, but I think it will come back to me.”

    With difficulty, Leia knelt beside the water’s edge. Breha lowered herself to kneel beside her. Leia held out her hand and Breha retrieved a small white candle from the box beside her and placed it in her mother’s palm. Breha then produced a small saucer, and Leia attached the candle to the center of it. The older woman lit the candle and cleared her throat, then began to sing in a voice made raspy by age and fatigue. Breha took the flickering candle from her and placed it in the water, where the current began to carry it out.

    “We remember Breha Antilles Organa,” Breha said quietly.

    Leia took another candle and repeated the process, handing the saucer with the lit candle to Breha. She placed it in the water, where it began to follow the watery path set by the previous one. “We remember Bail Prestor Organa,” Breha said.

    They continued, Leia singing the song of remembrance while lighting the candles and Breha acknowledging the loved one as she set them afloat. Occasionally Breha would join her in singing. Soon the river was dotted with bright lights in the growing dusk.

    Finally there were only two candles left. Breha and Leia exchanged looks, then Breha sighed. She lifted one of the candles out of her box and gave it to her mother, who afixed it to the saucer and lit the candle. Leia handed the candle back to Breha.

    Leia’s song dropped to a murmur. Breha gently placed the saucer in the water. Its flame flickered in the growing darkness. “We remember Luke Skywalker,” she said quietly. Leia’s song broke off and she grew silent as she watched the candle begin its slow journey down the river.

    Breha reached up and wiped a tear away. In silence she handed the last candle to Leia, who lit it and handed it back to Breha. Breha’s hands shook as she placed it in the water. She struggled to find her voice, and when she did, it wavered. “We remember Han Solo.”

    Breha sat back and watched the tiny trail of light, the glittering flames reflected in the water. She sighed and leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder. Eventually the flames grew dimmer in the encroaching darkness, until they disappeared entirely. They sat together, hands clasped, deep in their own thoughts and grief.

    Finally Leia wiped her eyes. “We have to go. It’s dangerous to stay out too long.”

    Poe reached down to help Leia up first, then he assisted Breha. “Should we send someone to retrieve the candles so they don’t raise suspicions?” he asked.

    Leia shook her head. “No, no need. The candles and the saucers are degradable. They’ll be dissolved by the water within a hour or two.”

    Breha turned back for a moment to stare at the water, now a shiny black-silver stripe in the pale light from Rothana’s two rising small moons. Then she tilted back her head and looked at the emerging stars in the darkening sky, each point of starlight like the mirror of the countless candles lit in remembrances since the destruction of Alderaan. One of those stars, she mused, reflected the light from her father’s candle. Leia looked at her questioningly, and Breha sighed. “Sometimes it’s easier to think we haven’t lost him. He’s just up there, in the Falcon, getting into some scrape or another,” she said, walking over to Leia, who was waiting for her to join them.

    “Maybe he is, Bree. Maybe he is.” Leia smiled and placed a comforting hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “I'm told they’re never really gone.”
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2019
  7. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    This was gorgeously moving.
    I am very happy they found a lovely serene setting for the remembrance ceremony.
    Thank you (and Mira_Jade) for bringing this sublime bit of fanon into the ST arc of stories.


  8. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Dec 21, 2016
  9. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    Nice, sombering moment. We never really see that much mourning the fallen the ST, the characters are sad but being directly in the action they don't have the time for a ritual like this. So its nice to see they've got this moment here in your story.
  10. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    This ceremony was so very dignified & beautiful. Luckily I still had enough handkerchiefs at home.

    Thanks for creating this special moment within your fanfic. I am still sad the movie had no such moments for those who have gone ahead & became one with the Force.
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2019
  11. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh, such a beautiful chapter! [face_love] What better way for Leia and Breha to bond than with @Mira_Jade ’s lovely Day of Remembrances and its associated customs—which I too pretty much regard as tantamount to canon by now. :D They both more than deserve this moment of quiet remembrance even in wartime—especially in wartime. Beautiful descriptions all around, of the idyllic scenery, their clothing, their gestures, Leia’s song (such a lovely touch), even just sitting together, watching and feeling in the silence of the evening. And oh, my heart, the feels when they get to those last two candles! :luke: :han: The reflection of starlight in Han’s candle is such a beautiful moment, as if the universe itself is joining in Leia’s reminder that “they’re never truly gone” (lovely reimagining of that poignant TLJ line, by the way). As the poem says, “So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, / as we remember them.” @};-

    And what I love best? The way their ceremony of remembrance so clearly is part of Breha’s healing process, too. She’s doing this to come to terms with a dire loss, of course, but she’s also doing it to strengthen her bond with the lovely mother that she’s recently reunited with, and to build up her resolve to strengthen future relationships: to Blue, to her unborn baby, and eventually to Marielle, once she finds her again. Absolutely beautiful way to connect past and present there—do keep it up (I know you will)! @};-
  12. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Thank you! In my mind, they are in Space!Colorado. There is a need to have some kind of ceremony, a recognition of the loss. @Mira_Jade created such a beautiful Fanon. I figure if Leia does it, then every survivor of Alderaan does it too. How many millions of candles light up the water, when every survivor remembers every light snuffed out in that destruction?

    Thank you for reading!

    Thanks for the kind words. You're right, the characters in the ST just fling themselves from one situation to another and we really don't get to mourn the loss. The only scene I can think of is Rose, crying for her sister. There's no time for the luxury of a full funeral or remembrance. I'd like to think Leia, who has suffered loss after loss, would make it a priority to take time to remember those who fell. Otherwise what was their sacrifice for, if nobody recognizes the cost of it?

    Thank you for reading and commenting! I do appreciate it. @Mira_Jade is the one who first came up with the idea, and like I said before, it feels so right that it's canon as far as I'm concerned. You need a ceremony to acknowledge their passing so that you can move on.

    Breha and Leia have lost people closest to them. It's very Leia to say "I don't care what you have to do to make it happen. Bring two security escorts. My daughter and I are going to the river." Poe is probably there because he argued with Leia about security and he insisted on going himself. :p
    The mountains are their chapel. This is their connection to the past, to their lost culture. Leia has always been Alderaanian in her heart, and Breha would have been queen if Alderaan still lived. It's fitting that they use an Alderaanian tradition to remember Luke and Han, sons of Tatooine and Corellia.
    Yes, that's very true! A remembrance like this is a way of saying goodbye. But you have to say goodbye - acknowledge and process the loss - before you can look forward. The loss will always be there, coloring your perception of things, but you can't live in the past. And sometimes it's not love that locks you in the past, it's fear. Breha has to leave the past behind and forge a new future. She has to let her father go, even though she loves him. And she has to learn to leave Armitage behind, even though she fears him.
  13. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Part 12.

    Breha sat on a crate pushed up against the far wall near the entrance to the hangar and lifted her face toward the setting sun, letting her skin bathe in the evening warmth. It felt so nice to be able to be outdoors, although she knew better than to venture too far from the protection of the security perimeter. A sophisticated set of relays produced a false image to any intruding probe or scanner, and its efficiency was dependent on there being a stationary edge to the image. She knew where the barrier was and dared not cross it. Still, the breezes and the sun’s warmth came through, making it irresistible to her, and she even allowed herself an occasional walk in the landing area.

    She had been sitting peacefully for a while when she heard someone approach her. She tensed and turned her head sharply, then relaxed. “Oh, it’s you,” she said.

    Blue chuckled. “Glad to see you too, Breha.”

    She smiled. “That’s not what I meant. Come, sit down with me.” She patted the other side of the crate. “I like your company.”

    “I saw your mother was sick. How’s she feeling?” he asked.

    “Better,” Breha replied. “I was worried last week when she was having trouble breathing. The treatment Dr. Ha’annok gave her seemed to really help, though.”

    “Good.” Blue smiled and shook his head appreciatively. “She’s a tough one, General Organa. What she did -- going EV without a suit...I don’t know how she even survived.”

    “The Force did that.” Breha shifted position and raised her hand to rest on her stomach. “She spends a lot of time resting, letting the Force repair the damage. She’s a fighter.”

    “Like you.” He paused. “Any word about Marielle?”

    Breha sighed and shook her head. “No. Poe said they got a report of a girl about her age in one of the ancillary academies on Arkanis, but it turned out to be someone else. We still don’t know where Armitage is hiding her.” Breha ran her hand over her stomach, rubbing the pregnancy bulge.

    Blue glanced at her hand, stained lightly with grease. “I’m sorry. I hope you’ll get better news soon.” He looked back at her face. “How’s the new job?” he asked.

    She smiled, her mood lighter. “Good. I like it. I think mechanics will be a good fit for me. When my parents separated, I went to stay with my dad. I spent a lot of my teen years with him and Chewie in the Falcon.” She smiled knowingly. “I got a lot of practice with ship repair. Now I can put that to use.”

    He got comfortable beside her and they passed a few minutes in agreeable silence. A breeze brought with it the fragrance of the night blooms. In the west, the smaller of the two moons shone its pale silver light just over the mountains, and the first stars of the evening were beginning to emerge. “Tell me. Where is Baroli?” she asked, leaning back and staring upward.

    Blue pointed. “There. It’s pretty much all the way across the galaxy.”

    “What’s it like, your homeworld?”

    Blue was silent, and Breha regretted asking. “You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.”

    “No, it’s okay. They’re not bad memories. In fact, they’re wonderful.” He sighed. “Too wonderful.” He turned to face her. “Tell me. Have you ever met another Barolian?”

    She shook her head.

    “I’m not surprised. There’s a reason for it. We Barolians don’t leave our world. It’s like a punch in the heart to be away from home. It’s so beautiful there. There’s a story that our moons are the lamplight of the gods, shining the path from heaven to the planet. There are five moons, and each glows with its own color. When they’re all in the sky together, it’s magical.”

    “Why did you leave?” she asked quietly.

    Blue hung his head and stared at his hands, loosely folded on his lap. “I didn’t want to leave. But I couldn’t stay.” He raised his head again and looked at her, his expression pained. “I don’t want to lie to you, Breha. Especially not to you. But I’m not the person you think I am.”

    Breha frowned. “What do you mean?”

    “I’m not a good person. I’ve done things I’m ashamed of.”

    “We all have, Blue. I put on a smile and applauded when my husband bragged of genocide. I don’t think you could get much worse.”

    He looked down again. “Yes, it can. I’ve gone too long in our friendship to not tell you this. You deserve to know.” He paused for a moment, then continued to stare at his hands as he spoke. “I I tell people that I have medical issues, but that’s just a cover up for reality. Not quite a lie, but not really the truth. The fact is, Breha, I’m an alcoholic and an addict. I got really involved in substance abuse when I was younger, especially when I went to university. I have medications now that can control the cravings so they don’t interfere with my daily activities, but you take them away and I’m just a drunk and a spicer.”

    Breha put a sympathetic hand on his arm. “But you have it under control now?”

    He laughed shortly. “It’s under control. As long as I take my medication on time, every day. But it doesn’t cure me. It only brings the cravings under control; keeps them like a dull ringing in my ears instead of a scream.”

    “I did terrible things when I was using, Breha,” he said. “I was cruel to people. I was selfish. I was reckless.” Blue took a deep breath. “One night, my best friend and I partied too much. I drove our speeder into a wall. They had to cut me out of the vehicle, and I spent the next three months in the hospital recovering. The plastic surgeons rebuilt the left side of my face. There’s a medical durasteel rod where most of my right tibia ought to be. I was the lucky one. My friend died at the scene.”

    “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

    “I went to jail for it.” Blue glanced over at Breha for her reaction, but her face was patient and impassive. Blue continued. “His parents could have requested atonement - I would have served three years in prison, and then spent the next ten earning back my name. But they didn’t, so I spent the next ten years in prison.”

    Blue leaned back on his elbows and stared up at the darkening sky. “Ten years gone. I got sober, I earned my medic’s license, but… ten years gone. When I got out, nobody wanted anything to do with me. I couldn’t get a job. I was just a felon.” He turned to look at her cautiously, gauging her reaction. “I knew one place that would take me in -- the Resistance. So I joined.”

    He sat in silence, and Breha continued to gaze at him, her expression open and calm. “You’re still here,” he said at last.

    “I’m still here.” She leaned back on her elbows, mirroring his position, staring up at the sky along with him. “I can’t judge you, Blue, any more than you can judge me. You made mistakes and you paid for them. So did I.”

    The stars began to emerge against the soft darkness of the growing night. Blue turned his head toward the horizon, in the direction that he had pointed earlier. Breha turned to look at him, at the way the silvery moonlight illuminated the intricate trace of black tattoos across his brow; the strong features of his face; his intelligent, bright eyes. Something stirred within her and she looked away before speaking again.

    “We’ve both spent our decade away in our prisons. I married Armitage when I was only nineteen. I thought I could change him for the better; that I could get him to become kinder, more compassionate.” She scoffed. “I had no idea. My mother tried to warn me, but was so determined to prove myself. I figured that if she could save the galaxy at age nineteen, then surely I could tone down one man’s violent tendencies. Instead, the marriage just gave him exactly what he wanted: social legitimacy. He married me to give himself a connection to true royalty. I didn’t matter to him, only my bloodline did.”

    “He’s a fool,” Blue said bluntly.

    She shrugged. “He got what he wanted. He always gets what he wants. I spent ten years in my own prison, not able to leave or have visitors, never knowing when he would show up, never knowing what he would say or do. And whenever something bad happened to him, he took it out on me. Ironically, that’s how I knew how the war was going. The better it was for the First Order, the less I saw of him. The worse it was, well...” Her voice trailed off.

    “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

    “I’m sorry you’ve had your troubles.” Breha’s eyes met his. “I’m glad you told me your story. Thank you for trusting me with it. And for the record, I plan on staying your friend for as long as you’ll let me.”

    “Which will be as long as you’ll let me stay around you,” he countered.

    She sat back up and stared at the sky again, resting one hand on her belly and supporting herself with the other. “So now here were are, both of us, thousands of lightyears from where we were. Sitting on a crate in the dark.”

    “One could do worse,” he offered.

    She nodded and managed a small smile. “One could do worse.”

    Useful little website when trying to figure out where planets are in relation to other planets
    Star Wars Galaxy
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2019
  14. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Baroli does sound exquisite! A place you'd never want to leave.

    Fantastic how Blue has the honesty and vulnerability to risk Breha's respect and friendship, by disclosing his troubled past. But now he's a better person for it, daily making the choice to stay on the medications he needs to stay on, which in and of itself is a triumph of the will.

    Breha reciprocates by sharing her own struggles; she is correct about being in a prison as well: one of fear and oppression, that made her feel "locked in".

    I love their avowals of continued friendship.


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  15. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Thank you! They are discovering that although they come from different backgrounds, they have a lot in common. They understand each other better than others could possibly fathom. He wants to be honest with her, and he is taking a terrible risk by exposing his faults and his ugly history to her, but he doesn't want it to come out when he can't explain himself. He doesn't want her to hear it from someone else. His biggest fear was that she would reject him once she knew his weaknesses. But Breha isn't like that. She doesn't judge. She is carrying her own heavy guilt about what she was unable to stop Hux from doing and her anger at herself for being so gullible as to think she could change him.

    They are forging the connections that will bring them beyond friendship. First trust, then love. Trust is the true test of intimacy.

    Part 13.

    Leia took a deep, appreciative breath of the fresh mountain air. Summer was in full season, and the wind carried the spicy fragrance of the trees across the open field. “Look how lovely this is,” Leia said, taking in the vistas. The base was hidden a few kilometers away, and they had defied Poe’s objections to travel to this secluded mountainside unaccompanied by an escort. Breha and Leia had taken a picnic lunch with them, something Breha had felt wildy incongruent for a war zone, but as it turned out, the afternoon had been a wondrous respite from the constant stress and tension.

    “This place reminds me of my home city of Aldera.” Leia picked absently at the small white wildflowers beside the blanket. She placed one in Breha’s hair. “We even had flowers like these. We called them kabinas. Every Alderan bride included at least four or five kabinas in her wedding halo.”

    “Did you?” Breha asked.

    “Oh, no. We were married on Endor. There were some flowers, but nothing that wasn’t native to that place.” Leia tilted her head in thought. “I suppose some couples still follow the traditions, but like everything else, it’s dying out. There just aren’t that many of us left who still remember Alderaan.”

    Leia turned to consider Breha. “Which is why I when I saw the first suggestion of this place for our new base, I knew it was the right place to go. The mountains made it feel like being home again. And speaking of home…” Leia turned back to the carrier that contained their lunch and lifted the cover. She took out a bottle of wine and two glasses.

    “You know I can’t drink that,” Breha laughed.

    “That’s why I had the alcohol removed from it.” Leia held the bottle up for Breha to see.

    “That’s Alderaanian wine,” Breha said, pulling back. “You should be saving it.”

    “For what? I want to share it with my daughter. Let’s enjoy it, the two of us.”

    Leia slowly uncorked the wine, then inhaled its fragrance. She poured the deep ruby-colored liquid into the glasses and handed one to Breha. “This came from a vineyard in the southern provinces. It was a gorgeous place. The weather was perfect there, dry and sunny.”

    Leia sighed. “I wish Ben were here to share it with, too. I had hoped he would come home…” Her voice trailed off. “I tried so hard to protect him. But I had no idea how. Snoke was so powerful, and he was just a child. Your dad and I thought it best that I focus on Ben, since we were both Force users, and he take you with him on the Falcon. I lost all those years I could have had with you. At least you got to share them with your dad.” Leia looked sadly over at Breha. “Han loved you very much, you know. He loved Ben, too, of course, but you two had a special bond.”

    Breha stared into the depths of the glass. “I miss him. I miss Ben, too.”

    “I know.”

    Breha shook her head. “I can’t help but think all the love we had for Ben made some kind of impact. He knew what love was. It’s in there. He can recognize it because you gave it to him.”

    Leia was silent for a moment, then she smiled. “That’s the kindest thing someone has said to me in a while. Thank you for that.”

    A gentle breeze blew up, rustling the tall grasses around their blanket. Above, a solitary bird of prey glided on the updrafts. “You’re going to have terrible trials ahead, Breha,” Leia said softly. “I want you to know that you’re going to be all right in the end. Remember the love. The love will pull you through. You are never alone because no one is ever really gone. Not Ben, not your dad. Not me.”

    Breha’s eyes narrowed. “What are you telling me, Mom?” she asked warily.

    Leia took Breha’s hand. “You know I’m not well, Bree. I haven’t been well since I went EV. The shock and radiation affected me at a cellular level, and I’ve been spending far too much time trying to repair all the damage. It’s made me weak and tired, and I can’t keep up.”

    “But you can beat this, right? You can make yourself better?” Breha cast a worried look at her mother.

    “I can try to slow down the cellular deterioration. I can’t stop it.”

    “Mom-” Breha’s eyes filled with tears. “There must be something that Dr. Ha’annok can do for you. I’ll talk to Blue. Maybe he knows something.”

    Leia shushed her. “There’s nothing to be done, darling girl. This is already borrowed time. I should have died the moment that I was sucked out into that vacuum, with the rest of the command staff. But I fought it and stayed alive so that I could prepare others to carry on without me. It’s the last thing I can do for everyone -- to give them a chance to thrive on their own.”

    A tear slid down Breha’s face. “There must be a way. Talk to Dr. Ha’annok --”

    Leia smiled gently. “I have talked to Dr. Ha’annok. She told me that the deterioration will inevitably get beyond me, and I’ll lose more motor control, my organs will stop functioning properly, I’ll start to lose my memory, and my mental control will fall apart. I’ve told her that I’m tired of fighting this. It’s time to let it go.”

    Leia raised a hand to her daughter’s face and wiped the tear away. “I told Poe to bring you here for your own safety. But I also brought you here because I wanted to say goodbye. It’s up to you, now, Bree. You are the keeper of the traditions, the owner of the legacy now. I’m leaving you all my possessions. The chaledon necklace, the Lady of the Mountains tiara, the Heavenly Aspirant dagger. All of it. Keep it, stow it away, pawn it. It’s yours. I’ve kept journals; they’re yours too.”

    Breha sobbed quietly. “I don’t want you to go, Mom. I can’t do it without you. I need you. ”

    “Oh, darling girl. Yes, you can do it without me. You’re stronger than you think you are. Bree, we all leave. The last gift I can give you is to teach you how to leave this life with dignity. I may have failed with Ben, but I’ve given the galaxy a wise, loving daughter to carry on what I started. That matters more than anything I’ve accomplished politically.”

    Breha sat still for a few minutes as she absorbed this. Finally she raised her head and looked at Leia. “How much longer do you have?” Breha asked, her voice small and hesitant.

    “It’s unclear. Months, maybe. Weeks, more likely.” Leia gazed at the sunlit mountains in the distance, her face serene. “This a good place. It reminds me of Alderaan -- like I’ve come back home. The Resistance is in good hands with Poe. You’re here. This is the right thing to do.”

    “Tomorrow is never guaranteed for any of us. But we have a wonderful day to share today." She smiled and raised her wine glass. "To life.”

    Breha sniffed back her sob and wiped her face. She managed a small smile and raised her own glass, clinking it gently against her mother’s. “To life,” she said quietly.
    Last edited: May 15, 2019
  16. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    @divapilot -- this was one of the most, most moving things I've ever read. The gorgeous setting, the tender, loving disclosures. Leia has a serenity and a confidence in Breha's strength.

    Leia's courageous dignity is why I love her, why so many of my RL friends remind me of her. :D Thank you so much for sharing this lovely, touching moment!

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  17. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    Chilling to see the aftereffects of Leia's flight to the vacuum. Though its nice to see that she isn't giving up, but instead trying to use her remaining time to help others.
    Nice chapter :)
  18. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    Breha is surrounded by love, friendship & understanding. But her healing still might take ages. But she is willing to trust and let others into her life. @};-
  19. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Thank you so much for your kind comments! Leia would face any challenge with dignity and humor. She has come to the end of her journey, and she believes, rightly so, that after all she has given, she's entitled to a few benefits. Those benefits include having her daughter with her and being in a beautiful place that reminds her of the only home she ever knew. In a way, Leia has come full circle here.

    Thank you!! :D I can't imagine that the vacuum flight didn't do damage to her. It would have killed anyone else. Leia is not immortal. She definitely isn't giving up, but now that Leia knows how short her time is, she is honoring ever day and making each moment count.

    Thank you for your comment! I think a part of Breha will never heal. But you live with the scars, and you find new relationships that bring healing and light and love back into your world. She has seen her mother deal with loss after loss after loss, and Leia still holds out hope. This has taught Breha a lesson about her own life.


    Part 14.

    They had taken to meeting outside the hangar at sunset. That night, however, when Blue finally arrived from his late shift, the sky had already gone dark and the ships on the landing pad and taken on a silvery hue from the light of the two moons. Breha sat on a crate and picked absently at her loose tunic as she waited for him. Finally she heard his footsteps approach and she turned toward him.

    Blue still wore his dark brown uniform, and he looked tired. Nonetheless, he smiled at her as he came over and sat beside her. His expression turned to concern. “How is your mother doing today?” he asked.

    Breha shook her head. “She’s struggling. Her blood pressure has been erratic.”

    Blue nodded knowingly. “We’ve opened a permanent bay for her. That way she can come in any time she needs to be seen in the medcenter.”

    Breha lowered her eyes and focused on the hem of her tunic. “You don’t have to pretend. She told me what’s happening. That she doesn’t have much time left.”

    “Oh. She did.” Blue bit his lip and sighed. “I’m sorry, Breha. I wish there was more we could do for her.”

    Breha stared out into the dark evening sky. “I know you’re doing what you can. I appreciate it. It’s just --” She paused, then looked at him sadly. “I just don’t know how much more loss I can take. I keep it in because I don’t want to be a burden on anyone. Sometimes I think I’m afraid of what would happen if I cried in front of someone. When I cried about my father, Armitage laughed at me. He told me to clean myself up.”

    Blue shook his head. “You have to let your emotions out. You have to acknowledge them. I know. Shoving my feelings away made me an alcoholic.”

    Breha reached over and placed her hand on top of his, and he responded by interlacing his fingers with hers. “I feel like I can trust you, Blue,” she said.

    “I hope so. I’m here for you anytime you need me.”

    “I know you are. And that means so much to me. When we meet out here at night, I could talk to you for hours. I love that we can be open with each other.”

    They sat quietly for a few minutes, hands interlaced. Then he unlaced his hand from hers and placed his hand over hers, curling his fingers into her palm. His thumb brushed against the worn blue ribbon that she had tied on her left wrist. “You’ve worn that since we left Arkanis,” he said. “What does it mean?”

    “That’s a reminder of my worst loss,” Breha said quietly. She glanced at him before staring at the ribbon again. “I haven’t told anyone except my mother. But I trust you, so I’ll tell you. ”

    Breha drew in a deep breath and straightened herself. She swallowed hard, then began to speak. “Armitage came home a few months ago for a short visit. I insisted he visit Marielle -- she loved him so much and missed him terribly. She was so excited to see him. That’s when he told me that he was thinking of putting Marielle in the Arkanis Academy.

    “I tried to reason with him. Marielle was only five years old, far too young to go to a military academy. And she didn’t need to go there to be educated; I could educate her here. But he didn’t want to hear it. He was… adamant about it.

    “The next night he told me that he wanted Marielle to dine with us, which was unusual for him. Of course, I complied. But Marielle was being difficult; she didn’t want to wear her dress and she absolutely refused to wear her ribbon in her hair. I made a deal with her: she didn’t have to wear the ribbon as long as she behaved for Father. So I took the ribbon out of her hair and put it into the pocket of my dress and we went into the dining room.

    “Halfway through the meal, though, I began to feel strange -- dizzy and weak. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. The next thing I remember, Armitage was half-carrying me, half-walking me to the bedroom, where he dumped me on the bed. When I woke up, I was right where he had left me, still wearing the same dress. But the light was coming through the windows. When I had met with Armitage for dinner, it had been early evening. Now it was mid-day. I was so groggy that I couldn’t get up. It wasn’t until almost late afternoon that I was able to physically drag myself out of bed. My only thought was Marielle. I hadn’t seen her all day. I had to check on her.

    “Somehow I managed to stagger my way to her room. When I opened her door, she was gone.” Breha stopped. She was silent for a moment as she composed herself before she spoke again. “Marielle was gone. Everything was gone. Her clothes, her toys, the pictures she had drawn and we had attached to the wall, even the nanny droid. I was so upset I was physically sick. It had been no discussion about her future the other night - Armitage was just telling me what he intended to do, regardless of what my thoughts were.

    “Blue, he took everything. He took my little girl. He took all her things. He even deleted every holo of her.” Breha stared at the ribbon. “All I had was this. And I only had it because I had shoved it into my pocket at the last moment. It’s the only evidence I have that she ever existed. It’s all I have left of her.”

    She hung her head. “Two weeks later I discovered that I was pregnant again. I cried for another two days.”

    Blue absorbed all this in silence. Finally he spoke to her quietly. “I’m so sorry, Breha. What can I do for you?”

    She laughed bitterly. “Can you get Marielle back for me?” she asked.

    “I wish I could.” He raised his hand and wiped a tear from her cheek.

    “I can’t take any more losses, Blue. I’ll fall apart.”

    He placed his hand over hers and held it tightly. “It’s okay if you fall. I’ll catch you, just like I did that night in Arkanis. I’ll always catch you.”

    Blue opened his arms for her. She leaned into him, and Blue’s whole body yielded to her as he put his arms around her. He stroked her hair gently as she wept, her tears wetting the fabric of his shirt.
  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Blue's gentle words and wonderful supportiveness by listening and holding her gives Breha the room to vent and grieve. Her feelings of "If I lose one more thing, I'll fall apart" are very natural and realistic. I WISH and hope that Marielle can be returned to her.

    That was one underhanded and viciously cruel way that Armitage "stole" Marielle, and that's exactly how it feels, irrespective of the fact she's his daughter. :eek:

    I am beyond relieved that Breha got out when she did.

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  21. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 18, 2008
    divapilot: Brilliant - and terrifying - AU you have here. =D= I'm hopeful for Breha and Blue, and that Marielle is rescued. [face_nail_biting]

    (Plus, your Leia is spot-on. ^:)^ Tragic, but utterly unflappable in the face of inevitability ... :_|

    Here's hoping Armitage has an ... accidental ... encounter with a thruster port. Or a Sarlaac. :mad:
  22. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    This chapter is very depressing but kinda hopefull as well. Chilling to see to what lenghts Hux will go to get his daughter where he wants her, which is especially sad as she used to look up to her dad, that she truly loved him. Makes me kinda wonder if Hux, not able to understand his daughters love, saw it as a weakness and thus decided to send her to the academy to become like him, cold and uncaring.This might overall be the worst thing about the FO, brainwashing all these people into mindless servants.
    But with Blue´s continued support for Breah and his words at the end, maybe there is still hope that they can find her daughter and save her, and hopefully the other kids too, from this terrible fate.
    Last edited: May 5, 2019
  23. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    I hope that the little girl is doing okay. Not only because I am a kindergarten teacher & always worried for young souls.
  24. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Thank you for reading and commenting. I truly appreciate your support! Breha is struggling, but she's beginning to open up, which is helpful for her. Leia warned her that things will be hard for her, but she also assured her that there will be love waiting for her as well, and the love will sustain her. Blue is there for her, as always - a counterpoint to her husband, who never thought of anyone but himself and what he wanted, Blue only thinks of what he can do for Breha. Armitage is too damaged a person to be capable of thinking of Breha or Marielle as anything other than possessions for him to do with as he wishes. Hux knows that Breha loves Marielle, and taking her away like that is viciously cruel. In his mind, however, he's pretty sure Breha is pregnant, so he's just replacing one child with another. He doesn't see why she should be so upset.

    You're right, though -- she got out just in time. It would have been a nightmare to bring another helpless innocent child into that toxic relationship, knowing what was in store for him, too, eventually.

    Thank you for commenting! It's always special to welcome someone new to the story! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
    I wanted to see the domestic side of this zealot who believes so devoutly in his own fascist rhetoric. To me, Hux is rather like a Joseph Goebbles, a terrifying monster of a man who at the same time had a family life. How can you be a genocidal butcher and a father at the same time? [face_skull][face_thinking]
    Life has definitely taken a better turn for Breha and her son, and there is always hope that they can find Marielle and bring her home to her mother. It's ironic that to be safe, Breha had to go to a war zone. Her home was a place of terror.
    Thank you for the compliment on Leia. She's always interesting to write. :leia: As for what happens to Armitage, well, let's just say I already have the last five chapters written...[face_whistling]

    Thank you for your thoughtful comments! You've struck exactly what I think is the saddest part of all, and that is, in Bad Romance, Marielle does love her father. She is so excited to see him, and he is lukewarm at best. He doesn't know how to return her love. He does indeed see Breha's maternal attention to her daughter as a weakness. Hux wants his child to follow him and be a ruthless military leader. That's why he takes her away from Breha, who gives Marielle love and nurturing, and sends her to a harsh military academy - to drill the kindness and sweetness out of her. Like you said, this is just one example of what is being done all over the FO: kindness is weakness, so it's taken away until the person is simply an uncaring, obedient servant of the First Order.
    The longer that Marielle is there at the military academy, the more likely she is to forget that she ever had a mother who adored her. If there is any hope that they can save her psychologically, they will have to get Marielle back soon.

    Thank you! You are the sweetest person. Marielle would be about the age of a kindergartener, so you know how innocent and vulnerable those little ones are. They can be so easily abused, and this is definitely a form of abuse. To steal a child from her mother and leave her in a cold, heartless facility like the Arkanis military academy - you can imagine the sweet little one trying not to cry all the time - until she doesn't cry anymore, and that's even worse. =((

    Here's a short update for you.

    Part 15

    Breha sat on the edge of her mother’s bed in the medcenter and sorted through the datapads strewn across the top of the pale blue sheet. “That’s the one,” Leia said, pointing a trembling finger at the datapad in Breha’s hand. “The one with the red stripe on the side.”

    Breha handed the datapad to Leia, who activated it and scrolled to the desired file. “Here. I wanted to make it official. You weren’t ready at first, but I knew you would be eventually, so I had the documents written up.” Leia handed the datapad over to Breha with a triumphant smile. “Here are the divorce orders. All you have to do is sign them.”

    Hesitantly, Breha took the datapad from her mother. “I already did that. Don’t you remember, Mom?”

    Leia looked alarmed. “You did?”

    “A couple of days ago. Remember? I joked and said that I was claiming irreconcilable differences: I despised him, and he was actively trying to kill me.” She scrolled to the bottom of the document, where her signature appeared, written in High Galactic. “See? I reclaimed my original name. No more Mrs. Hux. I’m Breha Amidala Solo again, at least as far as Resistance territory is concerned. And as soon as it’s safe to do so, I’ll release that information publicly.”

    Leia took the datapad and squinted at the document. “Oh. Of course. Why had I forgotten that?”

    Breha smiled sadly at her mother as she placed the datapad back on the bed amidst the others. “It’s the illness, Mom.” She reached over and took the older woman’s hand. “It’s affecting your brain functions. Your short-term memory isn’t working well anymore. That’s why you put Vice Admiral Sayah in charge, and you promoted Poe to Acting General.”

    Dismayed, Leia sat back in her pillows and sighed. “I guess I’m not doing so well, then, am I?” She frowned and raised her hand to tug hesitantly at the soft white headband that Breha had used to secure her long gray hair after she had brushed it for her mother.

    “It’s all right, Mom. We still need you,” Breha said quietly. “I still need you.”

    Leia dropped her hand back onto her lap and smiled at her daughter. “You know, Bree, you’re making the right decisions. Divorcing Armitage was the smartest thing you could do. It shows that you’re capable of putting the past behind you. And you’re making smart choices in other areas, too; in how you’re choosing your friends, what you’re doing for your work, and how you’re protecting your son. I’m proud of you.”

    “Thank you. That means more than you know.”

    “I’m just so glad you’re here with me,” Leia said. Her expression turned wistful. “I wish your father were here. I miss him, you know. I told Poe to send a message to him. I know how happy Han would be to see you again too.”

    Breha turned her head so that her mother couldn’t see her expression, but Leia narrowed her eyes and stared at Breha. “What is it, Bree?” she asked. “You could never hide your feelings from me. Why did you get sad so suddenly?”

    “I just miss him, too.”

    Leia smiled benignly again. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He’s probably out there among the stars somewhere, getting into trouble. At least he has Chewie -- somebody with common sense -- to look after him.”

    “I’m sure he is, Mom.” Breha squeezed Leia’s hand gently. “Can I get you anything? Some water? Pain medication?”

    Leia waved her free hand dismissively. “I’m fine. In fact, I’ve been busy. I have something for you, Bree. Hand me that datapad. The one with the red stripe. I had your divorce documents prepared for you. I knew you wouldn’t be ready to do it at first, but you’d be ready eventually, so I had the documents done up for you. All you need to do is sign.”
    Last edited: May 19, 2019
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  25. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 18, 2008
    :_| But, at the same time, =D= for an honest look at what happens so very often with RL dementia patients.

    At least Leia is comfortable, and well-cared for.