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Awards The Golden Yodas – The 2016 Fan Fiction Awards Ceremony | See you in 2017!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Chyntuck, May 7, 2016.

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  1. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    [​IMG]

    The ceremony will begin tomorrow Sunday 08 May 2016 and last for a week. We will be announcing the winners for several categories every day, and letting 24 hours between announcements for people to congratulate them. The ceremony will be hosted by last year’s winning characters, with a few special appearances by surprise guests.

    Announcement schedule

    Sunday 08 May: Genre categories for Before and Saga (this post)
    Monday 09 May: Genre categories for Beyond and Sequel Trilogy (this post)
    Tuesday 10 May: Style categories for Saga and Beyond (this post)
    Wednesday 11 May: Character categories for all eras (this post)
    Thursday 12 May: Relationship categories for all eras (this post)
    Friday 13 May: Reviewer category for all eras, Random Award and Nominations & Voting Champions (this post)
    Saturday 14 May: Author categories (this post)

    BUT BEFORE WE GET THERE, THERE ARE A FEW PEOPLE WE WANT TO THANK AND CONGRATULATE.

    First of all, congratulations to all the nominees! We had a total of 213 nominated fics across all eras this year, of which 136 went to the voting round, and it was an amazing selection both in terms of quality and of diversity. Looking at the numbers of ties and very close calls in the vote, it seems that voters agreed with this assessment and found it difficult to make a choice!

    Next, a very big thanks to all nominators and voters! We had a total of 18 nominators and 23 voters across all eras this year. We will post detailed statistics about participation in the Post-Awards Survey thread.

    We would also like to thank those who volunteered to provide prizes for the winners. For a moment it looked like we might not have enough prizes for this year, but people really stepped up and everyone will get at least one prize in addition to their Golden Yoda badge and printable certificate. So a very big thanks to (in alphabetical order): Annia Piet, Chyntuck, Ewok Poet, Findswoman, Goodwood, JadeLotus, Lady_Misty, Raissa Baiard, Sith-I-5, the mods, Thumper09 and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha.

    We will begin contacting winners for prizes after the ceremony is over and all winners have been announced. You can see details of the prize distribution process here; if we find that there is a need to make any adjustments due to the large number of winners, we will announce it after the ceremony is over (and, most importantly, after we've done the math!)

    Lastly, the JCF Fan Fiction Boards would like to thank the following sponsors for their support, without which these awards would not have been possible:

    Goochy & Offspring​
    Maz Kanata​
    Pets ‘N’ Pieces​
    Pyf and Huph’s EXTREME Allergy Relief​
    Ren’s Den​
    Safe Travels Astronavigation and Star Charts​
    Starkiller Tuxedos​
    The Dark Side Steakhouse​
    The Tatooine Tourism Bureau​

    We would also like to indicate that, despite their generous offer, we had to reject the sponsorship of Uncle Sheev’s Hutt Smut Emporium, whose sector of activity is not compatible with the Terms of Service of these boards.
     
  2. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    MASTER LIST OF ALL THE WINNERS

    BEFORE

    Best Alternate Universe: Just Ask Dad; or, Talking Things Through on Taris by Findswoman
    Best Canon: A Cold Day on the Pike by gaarastar58
    Best All-Around: Epiphany by leiamoody
    Best Character: Zia Amopharis in Epiphany by leiamoody
    Best Relationship: Katts Rzewanczkowski/female Revan and Stanislauff Rzewanczkowski in Just Ask Dad; or, Talking Things Through on Taris by Findswoman
    Best Author: Findswoman
    Best Reviewer: Ewok Poet

    SAGA

    Best Alternate Universe: She Shall Rise Again by Admiral Volshe
    Best Canon: Hypothetically Speaking by skygawker
    Best Humour: The Galactic Correspondent by Chyntuck, Ewok Poet, Goodwood, Kahara, SabyneAmberle, skygawker, Viridian-Maiden and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha (formerly Nyota's Heart)
    Best All-Around: In the Cards by Raissa Baiard
    Best Epic: The Book of Gand by Findswoman
    Best Short Story: About a Boy by Ewok Poet
    Best Series: He Ain't Heavy, He's my Brother by JadeLotus (A Man of Honour, His Welfare Is My Concern, Respite)
    Best Interpretation of a Canon Character: Obi-Wan Kenobi in Turn Your Face to the Sun by JadeLotus
    Best Original Character: Zizi Pao in The Song Hour by leiamoody
    Best Villain/Antagonist: Padmé Amidala in What History Will Say of Us by AngelQueen
    Best Canon Relationship: Teebo and Latara in Snowed In by Ewok Poet and Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade in Can't Look Away by Kahara
    Best Original Relationship: I-Five and Magash Drashi in The Chronicles of I-5YQ by Ewok_Slayer and Raissa Baiard and Doran Blayne in In the Cards by Raissa Baiard
    Best Author: Findswoman
    Best New Author: gaarastar58
    Best Reviewer: WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    BEYOND

    Best Alternate Universe: There is Another by JadeLotus
    Best Canon: Elegy by ThreadSketch
    Best Humour: Corellia Day by JadeLotus
    Best All-Around: Chrysalis by JadeLotus
    Best Epic: The God of Second Chances by divapilot
    Best Short Story: Elegy by ThreadSketch
    Best Series: The Luke/Mara Holiday Fic Series by JadeLotus (My True Love Gave to Me, Celestial Love, Chrysalis, Corellia Day, First Date, Heavy Petting, The Garden of Unearthly Delights)
    Best Interpretation of a Canon Character: Firmus Piett in Last of the Empire by Admiral Volshe
    Best Original Character: Talon Tantiss in The Journal of Talon Tantiss: Jedi Knight and Reluctant Vornskr Owner by Jedi_Lover
    Best Villain/Antagonist: Jacen Solo/Darth Caedus in The Truth behind the Lies by x_SwordoftheJedi_x
    Best Canon Relationship: Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade in Chrysalis by JadeLotus
    Best Original Relationship: Elena and Lydia Shelvay in Notes for When You Are Older by Kahara
    Best Author: divapilot
    Best New Author: Annia Piet
    Best Reviewer: divapilot and JadeLotus

    SEQUEL TRILOGY

    Best Speculation/Spoiler Fic: Red Five by JadeLotus
    Best Post-Premiere Fic: A Rough Trade by Ewok Poet and To Make Things Right by JediMara77
    Best Legends Inclusion: Reunion by Carlos Danger and The Shadow of Fate by JadeLotus
    Best Character: Luke Skywalker in A Rough Trade by Ewok Poet and Rey in My Father Has It by taramidala
    Best Relationship: Luke Skywalker and Valara in Red Five by JadeLotus, Luke Skywalker and Rey in The First Steps by taramidala and Luke Skywalker and Rey in The Jedi Begin by ZaraValinor
    Best Author: taramidala
    Best Reviewer: WarmNyota_SweetAyesha
     
  3. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    The red curtain opens with a swoosh to reveal a giant holoscreen. The lights go out.

    THE 2016 FAN FICTION AWARDS CEREMONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU TODAY BY THE DARK SIDE STEAKHOUSE

    A ghostly hologram of Kylo Ren appears in front of a completely black background.

    “Hello, I’m Kylo Ren, master of the Knights of Ren and apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke. I’d like to tell you about the First Order’s newest location for fine dining, the Dark Side Steakhouse. At the Dark Side Steakhouse, we use only the finest cuts of aged, organic Tatooinian bantha, thoughtfully sourced from local Tusken Raiders. A dedicated staff of Sith Lords will sear your steak to perfection using the power of the Dark Side. Their exclusive Force Lightning is clean, renewable energy that can cook a steak to your specifications in a matter of seconds, all without adding the toxins you get from charcoal or propane. We take pride...”

    Audio interference from an indistinct voice garbles the end of his speech.

    “What? No, I’m not a Sith Lord. Did I say I was going to be cooking the steaks? Yes, of course my grandfather was a Sith. What? What do you mean ‘Not much of one, if he couldn't even fry a steak?’ Are you impugning the memory of Darth Vader?”

    Ren ignites his lightsaber and storms off. Flashes of red light illuminate the dark screen and you can hear the sounds of the saber crashing and the sizzling of electronics...

    TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, PLEASE STAND BY.

    After a moment, the logo appears on screen.

    [​IMG]

    The holoscreen turns off again and the theatre goes dark. A faint spotlight appears and, as it begins to focus, one can make out the imposing silhouette of Darth Vader at the centre of the stage. The audience gasps in fear.

    Or... well, not that imposing. As the light becomes more intense, it turns out to be only Kylo Ren again. People relax and slouch in their seats, letting out a sigh of relief.

    “I told you so,” a voice whispers from backstage. “You don’t scare them. All they see is a grandpa wannabe.”

    Kylo Ren sighs and glances over his shoulder. “Are you going to follow me everywhere? At least I’m real. I’m not, you know... a legend.”

    “Ha very ha,” the whisper retorts. “The legend became a Sith Lord, unlike someone I know. Maybe I should take over that restaurant of yours.”

    Kylo Ren steps angrily to the microphone and draws his lightsaber. “It doesn’t work,” the whisper says mockingly. “This is the real world, not a holocommercial. No special effects here.”

    Ren sighs again and pulls an envelope from his robes. “Good evening, ladies and gentlebeings, and welcome to the 2016 Fan Fiction Awards. As you know, I am Kylo Ren and –”

    “Ahem! That would be... Ben Solo.”

    Kylo! Ren! And I was asked to be your host on this opening night.”

    “You weren’t asked, you did the asking,” the voice interjects. “Never miss an opportunity to steal the limelight, do you? You couldn’t get a single nomination, so –”

    “I couldn’t be nominated today because it’s the Genre Categories for Before and Saga. I wasn’t born, and neither were you – not that you were ever really born in the first place.”

    He opens the envelope and squints at the contents through the eye slit in his mask. “I shouldn't keep you waiting,” he tells the audience. “Let us see the list of nominees and winners.”

    He starts speaking very fast over another whisper from backstage.

    “The nominees for Best Alternate Universe in Before are:
    Getting to Know You by K'tai qel Letta-Tanku​
    Attachment by LuvEwan​

    And the winner is: Just Ask Dad; or, Talking Things Through on Taris by Findswoman!

    “The nominees for Best Canon in Before are:
    Home by Admiral Volshe​
    A Cold Day on the Pike by gaarastar58​

    And the winner is: A Cold Day on the Pike by gaarastar58!

    “The nominees for Best All-Around in Before are:
    Home by Admiral Volshe​
    Guard Duty by ardavenport​
    A Cold Day on the Pike by gaarastar58​
    Sword of the Night Sky by gaarastar58​
    Schism by Jedi_Perigrine​
    Getting to Know You by K'tai qel Letta-Tanku​
    Epiphany by leiamoody​

    And the winner is: Epiphany by leiamoody!

    “The nominees for Best Alternate Universe in Saga are:
    She Shall Rise Again by Admiral Volshe​
    Attack of the Clones Alternate Ending by Admiral Volshe, Chyntuck, Darth_Furio, Goodwood and Satine Naberrie​
    Emerging from Shadows by Cushing's Admirer​
    Sins of the Fathers by DarthIshtar​
    Crossing Enemy Lines by EmeraldJediFire and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha (formerly Nyota's Heart)​
    Path of a Jedi by Master_Fay_Fan​
    The Jedi Empire by NightWatcher91​
    Handoff by TheProphetOfSullust​

    And the winner is: She Shall Rise Again by Admiral Volshe!

    “The nominees for Best Canon in Saga are:
    Hypothetically Speaking by skygawker​

    And the winner is: Hypothetically Speaking by skygawker!

    “The nominees for Best Humour in Saga are:
    The Galactic Correspondent by Chyntuck, Ewok Poet, Goodwood, Kahara, SabyneAmberle, skygawker, Viridian-Maiden and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha​
    An Obi-Wan Challenge by earlybird-obi-wan, Jedi Master Kenobiwan, laloga, obimom (a.k.a. Obiwan456), ruth baulding, serendipityaey and Valairy Scot​
    Gnats by pronker​
    Ain't Me by Rau_Fang​
    Chunky Cheese by SatineNaberrie​

    And the winner is: The Galactic Correspondent by Chyntuck, Ewok Poet, Goodwood, Kahara, SabyneAmberle, skygawker, Viridian-Maiden and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha (formerly Nyota's Heart)!

    Kylo Ren pauses to catch his breath. “I hadn’t planned on the co-authors,” he mutters.

    “The nominees for Best All-Around in Saga are:
    Attack of the Clones Alternate Ending by Admiral Volshe, Chyntuck, Darth_Furio, Goodwood and Satine Naberrie​
    Another Other by Annia Piet​
    Crossing Enemy Lines by EmeraldJediFire and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha (formerly Nyota's Heart)​
    Can't Look Away by Kahara​
    In the Cards by Raissa Baiard​

    And the winner is: In the Cards by Raissa Baiard!

    By now the theatre is a mess, with all the winners coming on stage to collect their awards and congratulating each other. Kylo Ren encourages them to make as much noise as possible to cover Jacen Solo’s nagging. “Thank you for your warm welcome,” he concludes. “I will now cede the stage to Artoo-Deetoo, who will announce the Genre Categories for Beyond and Sequel Trilogy tomorrow.”

    He bows to scarce applause from the audience, whose attention is entirely focused on the winners, and returns backstage, shaking his head in dismay. “All Legends,” he can be heard muttering. “All Legends.”

    Dark Side Steakhouse commercial written by Raissa Baiard
    Kylo Ren announcement written by Chyntuck
    Dark Side Steakhouse logo courtesy of Mr Chyntuckopoulos
     
  4. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    And so it begins. Congratulations!!!
     
  5. whiskers

    whiskers Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 19, 2005
    Congrats to all the winners so far!
     
  6. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Congratulations to the winners so far.

    Looks like you have someone else who can do GIFs!
     
  7. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Bravo to all the ones nominated and the actual winners. Stellar and riveting reads. :cool: @};-
     
  8. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Unexpected this was :yoda: Given the awesomeness of my fellow nominees for Best All Around, I truly never expected to win. "In the Cards" has been kicking around in the back of my mind for about 12 years now; I'm glad that I finally got it on paper! Thank you so much [:D]

    Congratulations to all the winners and nominees! You're all incredible =D= =D= =D=
     
  9. yahiko

    yahiko Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2015
    Congratulations to winners! You made me read more than usual :p
     
  10. Annia Piet

    Annia Piet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 7, 2015
    Oh my, this is already epic! *gets popcorn*

    Congratulations to all the well deserved winners in some very strong fields! The Before era in particular is one that I don't usually read in, so I very much enjoyed getting the poke to read some of the fantastic stories there!
     
  11. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2006
    Congratulations to all of the winners! =D=
     
  12. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    After picking gaarastar58 's treasure, A Cold Day On The Pike out of the archives, specifically because it had gone five months without (checks Disallowed Words List) anyone even farting on it (a phrase in my family to indicate not showing any attention), I am very pleased to see it get some of the recognition it deserves.
     
  13. Goodwood

    Goodwood Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 11, 2011
    Pretty cool feeling to be part of something that won. :) Congrats to all the winners!
     
  14. Falcon

    Falcon Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 7, 2002
    congrats to the winners so far :)
     
  15. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Well, I guess that now I can come to this thread as myself to congratulate the 41 (forty-one) nominees and 12 (twelve) winners we have on day 1 alone. You're all fantastic writers, you know that?

    =D=
     
  16. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Congratulations to all of the winners!

    Separately, a round of applause to Chyntuck and her co-conspirators for an awesome start to the award ceremony. =D= I especially like the rejection of Uncle Sheev's Hutt Smut Emporium. Oh, and I'm VERY interested to see how Artoo does the announcements tomorrow. :D
     
  17. Briannakin

    Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic & Costuming/Props Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Congrats to all the winners!

    Also the intro cracked me up. This is going to be so fun!
     
  18. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Congrats to today's winners!
     
  19. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh wow, this is incredible—thank you so much! I never in a million years thought "Just Ask Dad" would wind up being recognized this way—it was written just for fun, just on a whim, in response to a crazy dream I had while on a bit of a KOTOR kick. And not only is it being recognized, it's being recognized in the company of some truly excellent stories, and by the best group of readers one could hope for. Thank you all, really, thank you. @};- And to all the winners and nominees, bravissimi! =D=
     
  20. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    Woohoo, and congratulations to each! Some excellent wordcrafting to be found here - and the GFFA is more fleshed out, always a good thing. [face_dancing]
     
  21. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Congrats to all the winners so far!!=D= Great job everyone.
     
  22. K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku

    K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 18, 2000
    Congratulations to the winners! It's an honor to be nominated with such great authors.
     
  23. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Thank you. Seriously, thanks. Getting nominated and winning are both awesome. :D

    Congratulations to everyone who was nominated and won. :D :D
     
    AzureAngel2, Kahara, Goodwood and 5 others like this.
  24. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    (Sorry for the stupid post that was deleted - the Overseer now assured me that this is not an issue!)

    Old men? Undead women? Barbarism!A thing of pre-Ruusan reformation society!
    by Yilda Lami for Juicy Blabber, the celebrity section of Lightyear Holo

    * A dirty old man kills people on a mountain. People like that?! [Yilda, it's fiction -ed]
    * ANOTHER dirty old man gives unsolicited advice to unsuspecting youth! [You may want to cut out on your use of the word "dirty" - ed]
    * Alleged MYSTICAL woman is EVERYWHERE!
    * Two men? Is that what we THINK it is?
    * That Jedi couple? Will they or won't they? [Yilda, this is the only thing that actually interests our publication - ed]

    Just don't get us started on Queen Amidala! She is, like, dead and not dead. The last time we honourably stalked her, she was cutting a glamorous figure and she was very much alive. We still have no idea which one of the two was actually her, but that's not important right now.

    [Yilda, you forgot to write what the mystical woman's perfect swimsuit would look like and you forgot to congratulate the fellow journalists from the Galactic Union of HoloNet and Newsflimsi Writers on their awards. - ed]

    ...

    I mean, congratulations to everybody! :) So stoked that a bunch of amazing stories won already, and that for many folks, it's the first time they're winning something! You're all amazing writers. Roll on, day two! :)

    (I don't sound natural when normal, sorry.)
     
  25. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    THE 2016 FAN FICTION AWARDS CEREMONY IS BROUGHT TO YOU TODAY BY NONE OTHER THAN MAZ KANATA

    Maz Kanata appears on the holoscreen amidst the smouldering ruins of Takodana Castle. Her eyes expand tremendously as she adjusts her goggles, as if to scrutinise the audience; then they return to their normal size. She raises a hand and waves a finger to emphasise her speech.

    “MONDAY! MONDAY MONDAY! EVERYTHING MUST GO! Broken furniture! Crushed glassware! Outdated cantina and restaurant fixtures, featuring a vintage Clone Wars-era soda fountain! Cheap, flashy costume jewelry!” (She pauses to jingle the jeweled bangles that adorn her arms.) “And our house specialty . . . Mysterious, hallucinogenic ancient artifacts! All at ROCK-BOTTOM PRICES! And where did we get these ROCK-BOTTOM PRICES? A good question! For another time! But now’s the time to come on down! Because soon these ROCK-BOTTOM PRICES will go up in . . .”

    Just then Chewbacca leans over and makes a comment to Maz in muted Shyriiwook.

    “Yes, darlin’,” Maz whispers back. “I know it’s a mixed metaphor. This is what you get when you hire an out-of-work fan fiction writer to write your advertising copy.”

    Chewbacca grunts querulously. Maz turns and faces him, hands akimbo. Her eyes goggle to immense proportions.

    “Well, what did you expect me to do? My marketing department burned down!

    Chewbacca shakes his head and walks away. Maz sighs, returns to center screen, and continues in super-fast legal disclaimer voice.

    “No refunds exchanges or substitutions all sales final Takodana Castle LLC is not responsible for injuries or Force visions incurred while shopping please consult our holonet site for further details.”

    [​IMG]

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE: And now, presenting the awards for the Genre Categories in the Beyond and Sequel Trilogy eras, I am pleased to present none other than the one . . . the only . . . ARTOO-DETOO!

    Artoo rolls out onto stage amid raucous applause and cheers, bleeping and blooping merrily as his lights flash and his dome spins.

    ARTOO: Bleep bloop blurgle blip bleeble-bleep bip. Blurble blap, beep-beep boop bleeble bleep. Screeeeyap blooble-bloop. Beepity-boop, blap-blap brrrr. Bleebleblip. Beeeep chirpity-chirp blop. Blarga-blarga blippity bloop, beep-beep blablabla bleep bloop. Bibbity-bobbity-booble-bloop—bleeblap boop. Doobie-doobie-doo. Bleeblap derpity-derp blippity. Deet-deet-deet wheeeeee-blapblapblap!

    Similar Binary chatter continues for several minutes. Gradually the audience becomes somewhat bemused. They glance quizzically at each other, then at the stage, then back at each other. Whispers begin to well up. Artoo, however, does not seem to notice, and continues with his spiel, which he obviously considers very clever and funny.

    ARTOO (continuing): Beepity bip-boop blargle blurble whirrrzap. Blooble, blee-blip deet-deet-deet. Wheeeeyap blooblip beep-bibbity-boop. Boop-boop-ba-doop. Blip-bleep beebleboo, chirpity-chirp bloppoblop. Bleep bloop bleep bloop. Beebity beebity dooble-doop blap. Shoobie-doobie doo-wop doo-wop. Bleep blibble blippity-blip blorp.

    By now the audience is full of of nervous whispers. People begin to gesture toward the stage. Finally, someone yells out, “IT’S THE SUPERTITLES!” Similar shouts arise: “THE SUPERTITLES! FIX THE SUPERTITLES!”

    It is not too long before the room is a sea of confusion. The stage is a flurry of maintenance staff, the audience is in turmoil, and Artoo, who finally can’t help but notice something is up, spins nervously about, bleeping and blapping frantically. Amid it all a very familiar gold-tone protocol droid can be seen waddling his way through the crowd toward the stage.

    THREEPIO: Excuse me, please . . . if I may get through . . . I believe I may be able to help . . . if I may, please . . . I am fluent in over six million forms of communication . . . (He reaches the stage at last.) Artoo! What in the Maker’s name is going on here?

    ARTOO: Bloop-bleep blooble bleeble bleep blip.

    THREEPIO: The supertitles? Oh dear, I should have guessed something like that would happen on the day of my monthly oil bath.

    ARTOO (querulously): Blargle blap-blap bloop blop.

    THREEPIO: It’s not my fault! They needed extra time to touch up the paint on my beautiful new red arm! (He makes an exaggerated gesture with said arm so that the audience can see.)

    ARTOO (still querulous): Blibbity-blop bleep doobie-doop.

    THREEPIO: Well, you’re right, of course. We may as well get on with things, mayn’t we? The first group of envelopes, if you please?

    With a whir of servomotors, a hatch opens in Artoo’s front, revealing four red envelopes. Threepio removes them.

    THREEPIO: Tonight's first group of awards is for the Beyond era. For Best Alternate Universe, the nominees are:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    Last of the Empire by Admiral Volshe​
    Play your Hand by Annia Piet​
    There is Another by JadeLotus​
    Journeyer and Empress by Onderon1​

    THREEPIO: And our winner is... (opening the envelope) There is Another by JadeLotus!

    The audience cheers and Artoo flashes and beeps as the winner comes forward.

    THREEPIO: Thank you all, thank you very kindly indeed! And now, for Best Canon in Beyond, the nominees are:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    Beauty Enough by aleja2​
    Like Stone by Annia Piet​
    Elegy by ThreadSketch​

    THREEPIO: And the winner is . . . (opening the next envelope) Elegy by ThreadSketch!

    Again the audience cheers and Artoo bleeps as the winner comes forward.

    THREEPIO: And now we come one of our newer categories in the TFN Fanfic Awards—the award for Best Humour in Beyond. The nominees are:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    Corellia Day by JadeLotus​
    The Wager by Jedi_Lover​

    THREEPIO: And the award goes to . . . (opening the third envelope) Corellia Day by JadeLotus!

    The next winner ascends the stage amid raucous cheering, applause, and bleep-blooping.

    THREEPIO: Thank you, thank you all! And now, for tonight’s last award in the Beyond era, I present the nominees for Best All-Around:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    A Frivolous Holiday by Annia Piet​
    Chrysalis by JadeLotus​
    I, Warrior by MasterGhandalf​
    This Little Light by Revanfan1​
    Danni's Quest by SiouxFan​
    Invidious Intent by Sokolniki​
    I'll Come With You by ThreadSketch​

    THREEPIO: And the winner is . . . (opening the last envelope) Chrysalis by JadeLotus!

    More applause and cheering as the winner ascends the stage. Artoo lurches and bleeps, his dome spinning happily. At last the cheering dies down, and Artoo blips out a muted remark to his protocol-droid counterpart.

    THREEPIO: Artoo here has just informed me that the awards for our very newest era, the Sequel Trilogy era, will be distributed by that kriffin’ upstart BB-8—WHY, ARTOO! What do you mean by such language? You should be ashamed of yourself!

    ARTOO: Blarga-blurble-blap bloop!

    THREEPIO (in an undertone): Artoo, I don’t care if he stole your thunder in The Force Awakens. That is no way to refer to a fellow astromech. And on network holovision, too. (aloud) Gentlebeings, please help me welcome BB-8!

    BB-8 rolls out to thunderous applause and cheering. Artoo scoots menacingly toward him and they exchange Bronx cheer-like sounds for a few moments before Threepio steps in.

    THREEPIO: Now that will be quite enough, you two. The envelopes please, BB-8?

    BB-8’s head slides to one side, and three red envelopes pop up through a hatch in the top of its spherical body.

    THREEPIO: Thank you. And now, in the Sequel Trilogy era, here are the nominees for Best Speculation/Spoiler Fic:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    Red Five by JadeLotus​
    Shadow Prince by Onderon1​
    Rey's Sunrise by RX_Sith​
    My Father Has It by taramidala​

    THREEPIO: And the winner is . . . (removing the first envelope and opening it) Red Five by JadeLotus!

    The winner comes forward amid raucous cheering. BB-8 rolls all over the stage, chirping happily. Artoo rocks back and forth and beeps.

    THREEPIO: And for our next award in the Sequel Trilogy era, Best Post-Premiere Fic, the nominees are:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    The Greater Good by DarthIshtar​
    Royalty by divapilot​
    A Rough Trade by Ewok Poet​
    To Make Things Right by JediMara77​
    Remains of a Memory by Sara_Kenobi​
    The First Steps by taramidala​
    The Jedi Begin by ZaraValinor​

    THREEPIO (taking the second envelope and opening it): And the winner is: It's a tie! A Rough Trade by Ewok Poet and To Make Things Right by JediMara77!

    Thunderous cheering, clapping, and bleep-blooping fill the room as the winner ascends the stage. Again BB-8 rolls all around, almost colliding with Threepio.

    THREEPIO (to BB-8, scoldingly): Now, now, easy there! This is a brand new coat of polish! And if you carry on like that you’ll crease the last envelope! (BB-8 comes to a standstill as Threepio removes the third and final envelope, then addresses the audience). We have one more award to present tonight, gentlebeings, and that is Best Legends Inclusion in Sequel Trilogy. The nominees are:

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE:
    Reunion by Carlos Danger​
    The Shadow of Fate by JadeLotus​
    Old Soldier by LadyPadme​
    Shadow Prince by Onderon1​
    NRI: Denon by Revanfan1​

    THREEPIO: And the winner is . . . (opens the envelope) It's a tie! Reunion by Carlos Danger and The Shadow of Fate by JadeLotus!

    The audience bursts into jubilant applause as the winner comes forward. The two astromechs beep, flash, and gyrate.

    THREEPIO: And I believe that is all for tonight, gentlebeings. Till tomorrow night, then, when awards for the Saga and Beyond style categories will be presented by—

    (Artoo bursts out with an urgent series of boops and bloops. BB-8 wheels and bleeps excitedly in agreement.)

    THREEPIO: Oh, you’re right, Artoo! How could I forget! Gentlebeings, please join me in a round of applause for all of tonight’s winners and nominees!

    Thunderous applause and cheering. Threepio takes what he apparently considers a very florid bow, though it is actually quite stiff and stilted in true Threepio fashion. He and the astromechs exit the stage as the curtain falls.

    DISEMBODIED ANNOUNCER VOICE: Aaaaand that’s all, folks! Join us tomorrow when awards for Saga and Beyond Style Categories will be presented by Jedi Master Yoda himself!

    Maz Kanata commercial written by Findswoman and Chyntuck on an original idea by LAJ_FETT
    Artoo/Threepio/BB-8 announcement written by Findswoman
    Takodana Closing Down animation courtesy of Mr Chyntuckopoulos
     
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