Phx The Great Big Thread of Useless Information or the Seinfeld Thread about Nothing!

do we know how far we are behind denver though? i'm sure the gap has gotten bigger...

 

TBS is showing Goonies and they are actually showing the infamous Snack Shop scene that people use to try and tell me never existed even though I saw the movie in the theatre and remembered it. yeah! i love this part!

BRAND: "NO BODY hits my brother except me!"

Pepsi free. lol I forgot they even made that.

 

I saw a book at Bookman's today entitled "Quiz Therapy"









Error: Only 1 message post per minute is allowed.

 

quiz therapy, is that for me jada? lol yeah maybe i should pick that up!

 

Well, you seem to be the finder of internet quizes!

 

WHOSE WITH ME???

FanForce Sweden invades Stockholm 25th-26th of October

It's time for the Scandinavian Sci-Fi, Games and Toy convention in Sollentuna, and FanForce Sweden will be there in force both of the days. Guests at the con are Ray Park (Darth Maul), Andy Serkins (Gollum) and Richard Kiel (Jaws).
If you want to join us you it's possible to either meet up on Saturday at 09.00 at Spottkoppen, Stockholm Centralstation or at 12.00 at the same place if you don't want to get up early. For more information visit this thread in the Swedish forum.

Everyone is encouraged to show up in costume.

 

Schools that have changed to uniforms report fewer tardies and absences . . .

 

From Comcast.net News

300 Illegal Workers Arrested at Wal-Marts

4 hours ago

By SUZANNE GAMBOA, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - Federal officials arrested more than 300 illegal workers at 61 Wal-Mart stores across the country early Thursday morning and searched the office of one of the retail chain's corporate executives, a federal official said.

Several law enforcement sources who spoke on condition of anonymity said the investigation grew out of earlier probes of Wal-Mart cleaning crew contractors in 1998 and 2001. Based on recordings of meetings and conversations among Wal-Mart executives, managers and contractors, the law enforcement officials said "various immigration violations had continued to occur with direct knowledge by the Wal-Mart corporation."

The workers, members of cleaning crews that the company hired through contractors, were arrested as they finished their night shifts at stores in 21 states. All were in the country illegally, according to Garrison Courtney, a spokesman with Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., based in Bentonville, Ark., is the world's largest retailer.

Wal-Mart spokeswoman Mona Williams said the company got wind of the raids when store managers started calling headquarters Thursday morning.

"They arrested a number of members of the floor cleaning crews. They are (employed by) outside contractors; they're not Wal-Mart associates," Williams said.

She said the company uses more than 100 third-party contractors for cleaning services in more than 700 stores in the United States. "We require each of these contractors to use only legal workers," she said.

Many of the workers said they were Eastern European and a few were of other ethnicities, Courtney said.

The arrests stem from a November 1998 investigation done in conjunction with the Pennsylvania attorney general's office. That investigation also targeted contractors and subcontractors used by Wal-Mart to clean stores.

Employers are required to check forms known as I-9's, filled out by every new employee, and keep the forms for a specified period of time. An employer can face civil and criminal penalties for knowingly hiring illegal immigrants or failing to comply with the I-9 regulations.

Courtney also said officials searched the office of one of Wal-Mart's executives. Williams could not say whether agents conducted a search at the headquarters and said she did not know of any other Wal-Mart administrative offices where searches may have occurred.

"We are currently trying to understand the scope and detail of the investigation. We are talking to (ICE) and are committed to cooperating with them," Williams said. She was unsure how many contractors might be involved.

The workers arrested were detained at local immigration offices, Courtney said. If they had no previous criminal record, they were released with notices to appear before immigration judges.

The states where arrests were made are Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, Connecticut, Delaware, Kentucky, Massachusetts, Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia and West Virginia.

Wal-Mart has 1,494 discount stores, 1,386 Supercenters, 532 Sam's Clubs and 56 Neighborhood Markets in the United States. The company has about 1.1 million employees in the United States and 300,000 in other countries. Wal-Mart had sales last year of $244.5 billion

 

(This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in Arkansas, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.)

This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a thunder storm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly approaching and appearing
ghostlike in the rain.

It slowly crept toward him and stopped. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed the door, only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel.

The car slowly started moving and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and in the lake and he would surely drown, when just before the curve, a hand appeared thru the driver's window and turned the
steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend.

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience. A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth and not just some drunk.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other,

"Look Bob, there's that idiot that rode in our car when we was pushing it in the rain."

 

Signs you are headed for heartached

Wake up, girlfriend. These seven big signs are flashing red, warning you that you?re headed for heartbreak:

1)You start checking your answering machine immediately after you come in the door, after taking a shower, while the dishwasher is making all that racket ? and sometimes for no reason at all.

2)You turn down an invitation to the party of the year because a) you don?t want to go without him and b) he might call while you?re away.

3)You find yourself making excuses to friends to justify the amount of attention you?re giving to the budding relationship.

4)When you finally go out with him and he asks you what you?ve been up to, you don?t have anything to say.

5)Your plants are withering.

6)You give up vacation plans you made months before you met this guy just so you can stay in town with him.

7)Your cat?s learned to roll its eyes at you.

 

Raw pumpkin is now used as a spa treatment product.

 

What makes a man sexy?
Brought to you by Match.com!
What makes a man sexy? Ask any dozen women and you're likely to wind up with two or three dozen answers.

Piercing eyes are always a good choice; a great smile gets a popular vote. Some get chills from a rock-hard body that makes it unnecessary for the guy to tell you he works out daily.

Apart from the physical, most women will tell you that a great sense of humor is a must for any man who wants to be regarded as sexy. Smarts are sexy, too ?intelligence and an ability to communicate make for a winning combination. But what if that good brain is topped by flesh, bone, and ... nothing else?

What if he's bald?

Well, then we might be on to something really sexy.

The editors of popular print magazines continue to display 10-year-old photos of celebrities who had hair then but today do not. The headlines proclaim the men have gone "from dud to stud." And there's no shortage of women who count Bruce Willis, Patrick Stewart or Michael Jordan as hot. Shaving his head didn't exactly diminish Denzel Washington's seething sexiness, did it?

Most of the time a naked scalp reduces a man's sex appeal not in itself, but in the ways in which the guy tries to cover it up. There's nothing sexy about hair plugs. Toupees rarely enhance a man's appearance; the bald-on-top, ponytail-to-the-shoulders look is one very few men can pull off; and comb-overs are disasters just waiting to happen.

In the end, true attraction comes back to a guy's sense of humor, his ability to communicate, his brain, his personality. That's what's going to get and keep our interest?not the number of active hair follicles on his head.

 

I would agree with that Jada, but they always forget kindness. A sense of humor is always what I say first, but a guy with a good heart is the sexiest thing of all.

EDIT:
And Patrick Stewart....SO da sexy! meow!

 

Star Wars Trivia Quiz

 

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say "See this chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

7. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

10. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

11. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

12. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

13. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

14. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

15. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

I

 

need

 

(7) seven

 

posts

 

to

 

reach

 

4,000 posts!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Top tactics to get him to take a hike
Brought to you by Match.com!

Dating involves trial and error. Often after a promising beginning we find that the person we shared a pleasant evening or intriguing email conversation with just isn't the one. Eeeeep. Wrong answer. Try again. Time to move on. So you tell him that. And he calls back. And emails. And calls again, just to see how your day was. He's definitely failed the take-a-hint test. Now what?

Let's all hope you never have to use these. If you haven't given "I'm sorry, but I don't want to see you again" a try, you probably owe him that. Take the following tactics only after the honesty approach has failed.


The broken record.
Good if you're not comfortable with creative stories. He may be latching on to some modifier in your "I don't want to see you" statement and interpreting it to mean continued interest. Examples being "not right now", "not ready", "I feel bad about hurting your feelings". Write out a clear, concise statement, and put it on a post-it note by the phone. Repeat it in response to his calls. Avoid other conversation. Respond to all his emails with it, without adding other comments. Can't avoid seeing him in person? You may have to have it printed on business cards.

Mom is in town.
Tell him your mother has come to live with you while her home undergoes painstaking dissection and remodeling to rid it of toxic black mold spores. She's afraid she may never be able to go back. Come to think of it, you can't figure out what this stuff on your coat is, either.

Tell him you're joining a celibate religious order.
Even considering a vow of silence. If you are concerned that he might research it, make one up. You must do this with a straight face. He may express disbelief and/or imply that you are lying. Insist. Then try this one: "Good bye. May the twelve blessings of the central order penetrate you in the end time."

Have strange "dreams" that involve him.
Respond to his emails with involved descriptions of the one where he's waddling along in a vast herd of penguins chasing you down the street or the one where the Washington monument collapses on his car while you're kissing Antonio Banderas. Don't make any additional comments. Screen your calls.

Tell him you've encountered long lost relatives or lovers.
If that doesn't work, add more as needed. How about, "The children I put up for adoption have come to find me. I'm going to be so busy building a relationship with all of them" or "I just ran into that wealthy adventurer who left me his grandmother's engagement ring when we parted after a torrid affair four years ago, we are thinking about going out for drinks".

 

Little Red Riding Hood


Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big
bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr.Wolf," says LRRH.
The wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and
this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf," says LRRH.
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.

About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."

With that the wolf jumps up and screams,

"Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop!"

 

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."

She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my Account and I wrote him a check."