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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

JCC The JCC Watches Movies!

Discussion in 'Community' started by JoinTheSchwarz , Feb 7, 2015.

  1. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    And as promised...

    HARD ROCK ZOMBIES!



    Be there or be square!
     
  2. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    I will be joining for the first time tonight. I registered on CyTube... Now what do I do? And what time is it?
     
    3sm1r and JoinTheSchwarz like this.
  3. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    10pm Eastern! Just show up around that time!
     
  4. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    Show up where though? Is there an exact link?
     
  5. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
  6. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    ty

    Looking forward to it!
     
    3sm1r likes this.
  7. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    1 hour to go!
     
    3sm1r likes this.
  8. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    Damn, now I don't know if I will make it as I am still watching an international skating event like the dork I am.
     
  9. Todd the Jedi

    Todd the Jedi Mod and Spokesman of SWTV star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Oct 16, 2008
    Rocker zombies have to be compelling than figure skaters.
     
  10. a star war

    a star war Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2016
    rock hard zombies
     
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  11. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    But it's art and sport together! I love it!
     
  12. Point Given

    Point Given Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Boy did I read this title wrong
     
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  13. 3sm1r

    3sm1r Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 27, 2017
    ^ lol that would have been interesting
     
  14. Lowbacca_1977

    Lowbacca_1977 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2006
    You're all welcome
     
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  15. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    This was the 1985 that Libertarians want.
     
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  16. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Are we on hiatus for Halloween? Or do you guys have no life too?
     
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  17. 3sm1r

    3sm1r Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 27, 2017
    Personally, I have probably no life as usual.
     
  18. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval TV Screaming Service / FFS! star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    Any chance we can get a copy of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things?

    I sniffed around a bit and couldn't locate a usable video.
     
  19. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    I'm glad you axed!

    Because this Halloween night we are capping this month of horror by opening up the septic tank and getting one of those movies that are considered by the crap experts to be one of the Worst Movies Ever Made.

    The 1992 horror horror AX 'EM!

    [​IMG]
    It didn't even get a trailer


    I usually post one of the iMDB summaries here, but this time I'm going to post some snippets from the user reviews instead:

    "Think of the worst movie you have ever seen. Think Plan Nine from Outer Space. And then lower your standards."

    "Gleefully bad."

    "I was once happy. There was a time for me when life seemed worth living. [...] That was the time before I saw
    Ax 'Em."

    "Even though I give
    Ax 'Em a 1/10 I still want people to see it."

    "It simply has to be seen to be believed, and even when I was watching it I could hardly believe what I was seeing."

    "The people responsible for this movie should be required by law to never make another movie, under penalty of death."

    "This is bad filmmaking at its best. Thank you, Michael Mfume, for this wonderful gift."

    "This is a good movie for people who like bad movies."

    "[...] There is about a 10-minute window where the film becomes the funniest movie I've ever seen in a long time."

    "This movie is only worth your time if you enjoy watching absolute garbage like I do."

    "Don't hold this movie against me PLEASE!!!"
    [literally the editor of the film apologizing in the review section]​


    So be there... or be axed!
     
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  20. Lowbacca_1977

    Lowbacca_1977 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2006
    This reminds me, for a future night, The Amazing Bulk is...... well, i have a lot of questions about the decision making process behind it.
     
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  21. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    This is happening TONIGHT!

    Come for the movie, stay for the scareoriffic afterparty!
     
  22. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    As Ax 'Em is ridiculously short, I might as well announce the second Halloween movie...

    HACK-O-LANTERN!



    A murderous satanic cult sacrifices its victims on Halloween.

    All we need to know, I think!

    40 minutes to go!
     
  23. JoinTheSchwarz

    JoinTheSchwarz JC Head Admin & Community Manager star 9 Staff Member Administrator

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    my god, imdb wasnt kidding
     
    Lowbacca_1977 and christophero30 like this.
  24. christophero30

    christophero30 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    May 18, 2017
    it gets an A plus from me just for the pun. Watched It Chapter one (B plus) now watching Chapter 2. B so far.
     
  25. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Axe 'Em was really remarkably horrible. I'm pretty sure that watching this film is similar to being in some kind of vegetative state. People's voices blend together into an incomprehensible wall of babble, or else 98% of it is in a distant murmur, which sounds like: "muhmuhmuhmuhmuh muhmuh muhmuhmuh muh muh? muhmuhmuhmuh I'LL BRING THE WHIPPED CREAM AND CHERRIES muhmuhmuh muhmuh muh." The video is mostly very dark and blurry, so it's never really clear who anyone is. Usually you can tell men from women, and the black characters from the white ones, but not always. During what is possibly the climactic battle, there are points where the scene is so dark that all you can make out is somebody's light-colored shirt as they frantically do . . . something.

    It's not the fault of the DVD rip, either. Online reviews make it clear that the source material is genuinely an Impressionistic mud puddle, which is about what you'd expect for a film made for the cost of a contemporary Happy Meal (c. 1992). At least the soundtrack goes "REET REET REET REET" whenever the killer is onscreen, so you know to squint really hard to catch the victim's moronic expression as they pitch over and die unconvincingly.

    So, yeah. Dim, incomprehensible sensory input that sparks no thoughts and no emotions, only a vague sense of boredom and impatience. I expect no less from my failing electrochemical network as I expire, right before the man in the bright light tells me to **** off and I find myself in hell.

    I don't know how to rate this, since I'm not sure whether it's good or bad when a slasher film makes even the audience feel like they are dead by the end. ??/10

    Speaking of hell, Hack-O-Lantern is a super fun movie about murder, incest, Satanism, the cool kind of heavy metal from before it became a dull posturing contest between drug-addled Angora bunnies, and the best small-town Halloween party ever thrown by persons or powers unknown. Unless you are a very bad person, you will want to scream "Eeeeew" and throw things at the screen every so often, but somehow that just adds to the film's repulsive charm. Perfect film for Halloween night.

    8/10