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Saga - PT "The Justice of the Jundland" (OCs, clone wars, short story) COMPLETE 4, August

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kurisan, May 12, 2017.

  1. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  2. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 9, 2000
    I like that we're in the middle of the action to start. And Maya is smart to use her head and make sure she has some sort of back up instead of just charging in to the fray.

    Good start!
     
  3. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Mar 18, 2008
    Indeed; Maya's growth is evident, and having 3 ARCs as backup will be most useful ... because a remote "farm" on Tatooine involving dark-siders just screams "trap." [face_worried]

    And the Jundland Wastes, as Kitster notes, are their own kind of trouble ... [face_nail_biting]
     
  4. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Another adventure starts! Jabba's allegiance with the Confederation is not a surprise in this context at all. The clones would better return until Kitster and Maya get in trouble again!
     
  5. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg.​
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  6. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Mar 18, 2008
    Ack. [face_worried] Well, Maya's not entirely alone, and she's good in a fight ... but Tuskens are dangerous in greater numbers, to paraphrase a certain Jedi Master ...

    BTW, Kurisan, I want to commend you on your use of visuals. You have a very good ability to paint a picture with words; the reds and purples of the desert, the description of the Raiders ... =D=
     
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  7. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    This is starting to look like one of those stories with the multiple endings, particularly with the "get the bike or help Kitster" ending. Either way, both Maya and the former slave risked A LOT here. That speeder didn't exactly sound like the best vehicle on Tatooine and with converters broken, one just had to guess what would happen next. Tuskens were predictable, but still, exciting.

    Hope Maya manages to do both and hope she is aware of the weight of her promise to Kitster.
     
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  8. MartyAvidianus

    MartyAvidianus Jedi Padawan star 3

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    May 14, 2017
    Eh Ai Aw EE O
    Eh Eh Ah.
    various other sandpeople noises.

    Sorry, I had to. :p
     
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  9. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 9, 2000
    Jawas AND Sandpeople! Maya's really in the stew now! And I feel a bit for Kitster...wanting to see Anakin again, not realizing how angry he's become, even though he hasn''t fully turned yet.

    Seconding Ewok Poet on the "good descriptions" line.
     
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  10. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 14, 2005
    Lurked earlier on during lunch breaks at work, but did not log into the JC. (Fanfic is a bad habit of mine like my chocolate addiction. I hope to get over both very soon.)

    I love you giving us Anni´s Kitster. And Tuskens.

    Anything might happen when Maya pulls out a light sabre on their lot. Especially after the local legends on Anakin´s slaughter so many years ago.
     
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  11. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg.​
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  12. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 14, 2005
    I hope that Maya´s courage and fierce fighting style will impress the Tusken so much, that they will attempt to assimilate her into their tribe. They do that occasionally, when they are few in numbers and need blood. The rituals (for example described in the Obi-Wan novel "Kenobi") are not easy. Only a few survive. Shmi did not.

    You also should consider the way the Sith are worshipped among the Tusken:

     
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  13. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Maya, Maya, Maya, noooooooooooooooooooo!

    I hope there's a way out of this.
     
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  14. MartyAvidianus

    MartyAvidianus Jedi Padawan star 3

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    May 14, 2017
    Yay! Update!\
    It's chapter 3 in part, yes? More chapter 3?
    What a cliffhanger. In just a paragraph worth of prose there as full action.
     
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  15. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Mar 18, 2008
    Ack - well, she's tough, and survived Jabba's court ... maybe the Jawas will help her?
     
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  16. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg.​
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  17. MartyAvidianus

    MartyAvidianus Jedi Padawan star 3

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    May 14, 2017
    A bleak vista of hatred and an unreasoning need to torture

    shudders.

    oh my.
     
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  18. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 9, 2000
    Snaps to Maya; she's trying hard to maintain the standards of the Jedi and not instantly regress to "aggressive diplomacy" as the go-to. Kitster, sadly, has no such illusions. Now, having won the gratitude (?) of the Jawas, will the little guys show their gratitude and help out or run for the hills as soon as they're away from the Tusken camp?
     
  19. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Mar 18, 2008
    That went better than I'd hoped (and kudos, both for Maya attempting to stick to her morals, and overcoming the anger she felt from the Tuskens). I'm getting a KOTOR I vibe from the scenery in the Tusken camp ...
     
  20. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014

    That's precisely what I've been wondering.
     
  21. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

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    Jun 14, 2005
    With Disney in charge, the strangest things might happen in the SW universe. As I already have foreseen around 2010:

    [​IMG]

    But as long as we all have fun writing and painting, it is okay, I´d say.
     
  22. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Feb 27, 2014
    OK, I'm caught up now, and I'm really sorry it's taken me so long—it in no way means I'm not super glad to see a new Maya adventure starting! It's great to see Kitster here again, playing such an important role in helping Maya find that secret base and hopefully Tekken too—though it's also wrenching to see the ways he's been hardened by his time at Jabba's. "Local prejudice against a different culture or a truthful assessment?"—that question is standing out for me here, probably because I wrote a Tusken-centered story of my own not too long ago. So far these particular Tuskens really have been brutal and vicious, but I have a feeling that even after their escape and their rescue of the Jawas Maya and Kitster haven't seen the last of them, and that they might end up doing some talking to them after all—and possibly learning some things. (Already Maya's remorse about having had to kill some of the Tuskens to survive suggests that she realizes there could be more to them than meets the eye.) And yes, I too am hoping that the Jawas will be able to do her and Kitster a good turn, too!

    It's interesting here to see how self-conscious Maya is about her abilities, which seems to stem from the fact that she knows Kitster knew Anakin. I tend to think she's being just a little hard on herself here—Kitster may have known Anakin, but that doesn't mean that he (Kitster) was an expert in the kind of Force abilities Anakin exhibited. And maybe Kitster, in turn, will learn from his acquaintance with Maya that there are many ways of using the Force, and that different Force users have different strengths.

    Thanks, as always, for sharing, and I'm looking forward to more! :)
     
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  23. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
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  24. MartyAvidianus

    MartyAvidianus Jedi Padawan star 3

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    May 14, 2017
    [WE'LL be back, and in greater numbers]

    [agree]
     
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  25. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

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    Feb 27, 2014
    So there's our answer! :D Kudos to those Jawas—they've done a bigger service than they realize, not only to Maya and Kitster but probably also to their homeworld too. Kitster continues to be an invaluable help in so many ways—good on Maya for remembering that "who is wise? The one who learns from all." She learned even from the Sand People, too, by starting to realize that they're not just mindless and that there is sentience behind what they do. Now let's see what they find "down on the farm"—there's still more justice to be served out in this Jundland! :)
     
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