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The Justified (Narnia-Edmund Pevensie Pentathlon for Fanfiction Summer Olympics)

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by devilinthedetails, Jul 1, 2020.

  1. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    Title: The Justified

    Fandom: Narnia

    Author: devilinthedetails

    Characters: Edmund Pevensie; Aslan; Peter Pevensie.

    Genre: A variety.

    Summary: A compilation of the stories written for my non-Star Wars Pentathlon focusing on Edmund Pevensie from the Narnia universe. An index of entries for the Pentathlon is found below.


    The Traitor and the Great Lion.
    400 Word Cross Country. Edmund Pevensie and Aslan. General; Angst; Hurt/Comfort. Post #2.

    No Greater Forgiveness. Single Sentence Shotput. Edmund Pevensie. General; Drama. Post#5.

    Promises of Princeship. 110 Word Hurdle. Edmund Pevensie. General; Drama; Angst. Post #8.

    Outside Time as Understood in England.
    Fantastical Fencing. Edmund Pevensie; Peter Pevensie. General; Family. Post #11.

    Stone Courage. Prime Time Coverage. Edmund Pevensie; Peter Pevensie; White Witch. General; Action; Adventure; Family. Post #15.
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2020
  2. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    Title: The Traitor and the Great Lion

    Genre: General; Angst; Hurt/Comfort.

    Characters: Edmund Pevensie; Aslan.

    Event: 400 Word Cross Country.

    Summary: Edmund and Aslan talk after Edmund has been rescued from the White Witch. Set during The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

    The Traitor and the Great Lion

    Rescued from death by the White Witch’s blade, Edmund stood before the Great Lion, awed by the glorious golden mane shining radiant as the noon sun. Remembering how he’d spat on the lion statue in the Witch’s castle courtyard, believing in his arrogant folly that the stone lion was the Aslan from the Beavers’ prophecy, he shivered.

    The lion he’d spat on hadn’t been Aslan, but that distinction didn’t seem to matter to him now that he was looking on Aslan with his own eyes. He’d believed that statue to be Aslan when he’d spat on it, so, for all intents and purposes, he’d spat on Aslan.

    He wanted to apologize, but the words stuck in his mouth like the dry bread the White Witch had forced him to eat when he was her captive. The sheer inadequacy of any apology he could offer in comparison to the gravity of his offense against his siblings and Aslan choked him with guilt and shame.

    It turned out he didn’t need to speak, because Aslan did.

    “You were a traitor, but you won’t always be known as such.” Aslan didn’t roar, and Edmund was grateful to be spared a sound he was certain would rattle his bones. “In the fullness of time, you will become known as Edmund the Just. Just as in justified not because of who you are, but because of who I am, and not because of what you’ve done, but because of the sacrifice I will make on your behalf.”

    “What sacrifice?” Edmund at last found the courage to look into the Great Lion’s eyes as he asked this question through cracked lips. He was surprised when he didn’t see the terrible judgement and righteous wrath he’d so feared in Aslan’s gaze but rather a boundless mercy and compassion for Edmund’s suffering.

    “You will know and understand when the time is right for you to know and understand.” Aslan’s answer was firm and final but not cruel as Edmund deserved after the crime he had committed.

    “Oh.” Edmund had a sudden itch to nervously scratch his earlobe but restrained himself with the thought that this might be irreverent behavior before the Great Lion. “Why would you sacrifice anything for me?”

    “Because I love you.” Aslan breathed on Edmund, making him feel so warm inside that he imagined he’d never be cold again. “Soon you’ll discover just how much.”
    Sadie Erso, brodiew, Kahara and 3 others like this.
  3. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004
    Whew! This was an intense start to your collection. =D= My grasp on the Narnia fandom only covers the bare basics - I never read the books nor saw the movies - but I really felt for Edmund's guilt and grief here. Aslan really absolved him instead of focusing on his faults, even if his comfort for the future had its own measure of foreboding in a way! This was a really interesting dynamic that drew me in and left me intrigued for more!

    Awesome beginning, again! I look forward to seeing where this pentathlon goes next. :) =D=
  4. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Superb start as you get the characters spot-on =D=
  5. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @Mira_Jade Thank you so much for commenting!:) This was definitely a story that was made all the more intense to me by the fact that it was only 400 words, so I wanted to make those 400 words count and pack some real punch. I'm glad that you were able to feel Edmund's grief and guilt--in a way those can be emotions that transcend any particular fandom--despite only having a knowledge of the Narnia that covers the bare basics. For me, Narnia is about nostalgia since the books were comfort reads to me when I was a kid, and in current crazy times, I have been seeking out my childhood comfort reads, which is why I chose to write a collection of Narnia stories focusing on Edmund Pevensie for the Pentathlon. I really think forgiveness can be so powerful when it is focused on absolution rather than dwelling on faults, and I was trying to communicate that with Aslan, so I'm so happy that came through in the story for you. To me, the shadow of Aslan's sacrifice of himself to the White Witch at the Stone Table was hovering over this conversation, which is why the sense of hope for the future also carried a bit of foreboding to it. The Edmund and Aslan dynamic really does interest me, so you very well might see more of it as this Pentathlon progresses!

    @WarmNyota_SweetAyesha As always, thank you so much for commenting:)I was a bit nervous about writing Aslan in particular (it almost felt as if there was something presumptuous about it), but I'm so glad that you felt the characters were spot on, and hopefully you'll continue to think so as this Pentathlon progresses!

    Title: No Greater Forgiveness

    Genre: General; Drama.

    Characters: Edmund Pevensie

    Event: Single Sentence Shotput

    Summary: Edmund finds redemption in being known as Edmund the Just.

    No Greater Forgiveness

    Edmund glowed inside like a candle in the night whenever he heard his title—the Just—on Narnian lips because there could be no greater honor and forgiveness than for a traitor to be known as just.
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2020
    Sadie Erso, brodiew, Kahara and 2 others like this.
  6. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Beautiful, gave me happy chills =D=
  7. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2003
    My knowledge of Narnia is limited to my participation many, many years ago in community theatre productions of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and one of the other books (The Magician's Nephew, I think). Basically I recognize the names but I don't recall a lot of details. :p

    But that doesn't matter, because your writing is beautiful as always and because, as you said in your reply to Mira, guilt and grief transcend fandoms. And so do forgiveness and redemption. Those are themes that have always really spoken to me, both in fiction and in real life, and you did a wonderful job of exploring them in these two stories. Excellent work, and I can't wait to read more! =D=
  8. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @WarmNyota_SweetAyesha As always, thank you so much for commenting! I'm flattered that you found the Edmund sentence so beautiful it gave you happy chills. I don't think there could be a greater compliment than that:D

    @amidalachick Thank you so much for commenting!:) It's cool that you got to be involved in theater productions of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as well as Magician's Nephew, and I'm happy to hear that you've been able to understand and get something out of these stories so far despite mainly being familiar with the names. I really wanted to convey the beauty of Edmund's story of redemption, so it makes me so happy that you found my writing beautiful, and that you felt that the emotions of guilt and grief as well as forgiveness and redemption could transcend fandom, which was exactly what I was hoping to achieve. Those themes have always spoken to me in fiction as well as in real life so it is moving for me to be able to explore them through Edmund here. Thank you again for the kind comment, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story!

    Title: Promises of Princeship

    Genre: General; Drama; Angst.

    Characters: Edmund Pevensie

    Event: 110 Word Hurdle

    Summary: Edmund betrays his family for promises of princeship.

    Promises of Princeship

    He was the traitor—the one who betrayed his family and the Talking Beavers to the White Witch for Turkish Delights and promises of princeship. The memory of the sweet Turkish Delights tasted like bitter poison in his mouth and the dry bread the Witch had forced him to eat had been worse than any rations for the war effort served in England. The promises of princeship had evaporated like a mirage when he’d been pressed against a stone, waiting for the Witch’s blade to slice through his bared neck easily as rope. When he closed his eyes, he could still hear the sound of the Witch whetting her blade.
  9. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Superb capture of that event =D= Yup, the promises and the sweet treat did turn out to be a mirage. That will certainly be a lesson he won't forget. [face_thinking]
    Kahara and devilinthedetails like this.
  10. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 11, 2016
    Nice scenes, Edmund is probably the most intresting character in the Narnia books. :)
  11. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Thank you so much for commenting!:) There was so much I was trying to say in this piece that it makes me so pleased you felt I was able to capture this event of Edmund's temptation by the White Witch so superbly. I agree that the promises and the sweet treats did indeed fade to bitterness and a mirage, giving Edmund a profound lesson that he'll never forget and that will transform him as a person.

    @Anedon Thank you so much for commenting! :)I'm happy to hear that you found these to be nice scenes, and I hope that you'll enjoy the next update as much. I agree that Edmund is a very interesting and complex character, and it has been very rewarding for me as a writer to explore some of that depth and complexity in this pentathlon.

    Title: Outside Time as Understood in England

    Genre: General; Family.

    Characters: Edmund Pevensie; Peter Pevensie.

    Event: Fantastical Fencing.

    Summary: Outside time as understood in England, Edmund and Peter explore the fantastical elements of Narnia together.

    Outside Time as Understood in England

    Edmund found his brother sitting like a bump on a log of driftwood along the beach before Cair Paravel. The rising sun gleamed in the aquamarine Eastern Ocean, white foam and green seaweed tossed to the sand as the waves broke along the peninsula’s craggy shore. Mermaids and mermen frolicked in the distant depths, singing songs that sounded like celebrations of summer after a hundred year winter imposed by a tyrannical witch.

    At least, that was how the music sounded to Edmund’s ears, but the expression on Peter’s face as Edmund joined him on the driftwood suggested it could have been a funeral dirge for some long lost loved one.

    “Every sunrise, I come out here hoping to see Aslan return.” Peter sighed before Edmund could ask what troubled his brother. “Yet he never appears, and my hunger to be with him again only increases so I know it’ll never be satisfied until he returns.”

    “I don’t think he ever left us.” Edmund gazed out across the waves that were said to be how Aslan came back to Narnia after an absence. “I think he was always with us since we arrived in Narnia, and, more than that, I believe he will always be with us. His memory and his spirit are inside us.”

    As the briny ocean breeze tousled his hair, Edmund thought he could hear Aslan’s voice, whispering to him in the wind, affirming that he had always been present to Edmund and his siblings in Narnia and would forever be present to them.

    He remembered as if through a shattered mirror that distorted everything how when he had first come to Narnia, he had felt Aslan’s presence as an invisible condemnation cold and cruel as winter. It was only after he had been rescued from the White Witch that he had understood Aslan’s presence was warm as the rising sun heating his skin as he sat on the beach. Aslan’s judgment, he had learned, was not eternally angry but abundantly merciful.

    “Narnia has changed you,” Peter remarked, casting an appraising glance over Edmund, and Edmund felt an inexpressible joy at the knowledge that his brother had seen the tremendous transformation Narnia had wrought in him. “Changed you for the better, that is.”

    “It’s made me into my true self,” murmured Edmund, reaching this revelation only as the words emerged from his mouth, and he wondered if Aslan was speaking for him. Aslan seemed to be the fount of all the wisdom that he had inside him.

    “I wonder if the change will last when we leave Narnia.” Peter’s tone was hushed as it inevitably was when he mentioned the possibility of leaving Narnia.

    “It’ll last,” Edmund assured him. “It’s my true self, and so it must be enduring.”

    “I wonder what will be different when we leave Narnia.” Peter scooped up a fistful of sand and let it flow between his fingers as if falling from the top sphere to the bottom one in a flipped hourglass.

    “Nothing will be different, but somehow everything will be.” Edmund was astonished his brother hadn’t figured out an answer that was hitting him on the nose. “When Lucy went into Narnia and had tea with Tumnus, it was as if no time had passed. It was the same when she and I went into Narnia. That means however much time we spend in Narnia, no time passes in England. When we’re in Narnia, it’s as if we’re outside of time as we understand it in England.”

    “Outside of time?” repeated Peter, mulling this over. “That’s simply fantastical. The most fantastical thing about Narnia we’ve yet discovered.”

    “More fantastical than talking animals and a century-long winter?” Edmund gave an impish grin.

    “The talking beasts and century-long winter might have been even more fantastical.” A laugh seemed to be startled from Peter, and Edmund sparkled in the reflected radiance of his brother’s amusement.
  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Lovely scene and fascinating discussion about changes and timestreams
    devilinthedetails likes this.
  13. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @WarmNyota_SweetAyesha As always, thank you so much for commenting!:) I really wanted to capture some of the beauty of the sea near Cair Paravel, so I'm so happy you found the scene to be lovely, and I always found it fascinating how time worked in relation to Narnia and our own world, so it was wonderful for me to be able to explore some of that concept in more detail in this conversation between Edmund and Peter. I hope you'll enjoy the final entry as much once I have it finished and posted!
  14. brodiew

    brodiew Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Oct 11, 2005
    Hello @devilinthedetails! I absolutely loved these. I am sorry I am late to the party. Your writing is lovely and perfect for this fandom. You welcome us to Narnia, Edmund, and Aslan seamlessly.
    I am as thankful for Edmund's guilt as I am for Aslan's forgiveness and restoration. I love how you write Aslan's voice. I I did not hear LiamNeeson, but something more direct and firm, still laced with love and mercy.
    I also enjoyed Edmund and Peter's conversation on the beach. I enjoyed hearing Edmund explain Aslan's proclamation about him being just as much as their talk about the time difference in Narnia. Well done! I

    Is there more to come? [face_hypnotized] =D= [face_praying]
  15. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @brodiew Thank you so much for commenting!:) I'm so glad that you loved these, and, don't worry, there's no such thing as being late to the party on this thread. I'm so flattered that you found my writing to be lovely and perfect for this fandom since Narnia has its own unique style that I wanted to do justice to when I wrote these stories about Narnia and Edmund. Narnia is a world dear to my heart, and I love Aslan and Edmund's complexity as a character as well as his redemption arc so it is awesome to hear that you felt I welcomed readers to Narnia, Aslan, and Edmund so seamlessly.

    Writing Edmund's guilt was very moving for me since I think that sense of remorse that he feels is something so tragically human and I imagine that without that guilt, Aslan's forgiveness and restoration couldn't feel as powerful so it means a lot to hear that you felt I was able to write those emotions so strongly. Writing Aslan's voice was something I was a bit nervous about, so it is wonderful to know that you found it so direct and firm but still laced with love and mercy. I wanted to show a firmness to how Aslan related to Edmund but at the same time communicate a profound love and mercy since I think that is ultimately what Edmund learns from Aslan and from his time in Narnia: how to be just and merciful.

    I really loved writing Edmund and Peter's conversation on the beach. To me, it was a beautiful setting for such a powerful conversation. I'm so happy that you loved Edmund's explanation of what it meant for him to be proclaimed just by Aslan just as much as the talk of the time difference in Narnia. Both of those concepts intrigue me so it was lovely to be able to explore them in that story.

    As to whether there will be more, the answer is a happy yes:D It seems your review sparked my muse, and I've finally come up with something for the Prime Time Coverage which had stumped me, so now this Pentathlon is complete[face_party]

    Title: Stone Courage

    Genre: General; Action; Adventure; Family.

    Characters: Edmund Pevensie; Peter Pevensie; White Witch.

    Event: Prime Time Coverage.

    Summary: Edmund has a strategy for fighting the White Witch.

    Stone Courage

    The night before the final battle against the White Witch, Edmund found it hard to sleep. He didn’t toss and turn but laid as still as a stone statue in the courtyard of the Witch’s castle, not wanting to wake Peter who slept in the blankets beside him, staring at the dark canvas tent top. At least, he had believed that Peter was asleep until Peter whispered, “Do you wish you’d gotten a sword and shield from Father Christmas as I had?”

    Once Edmund would have interpreted that question as an invitation to spiteful envy, but after his time of suffering as a captive of the White Witch, he now understood it instead as an expression of concern and even empathy from his older brother.

    “No.” Edmund’s voice was quiet as Peter’s had been. “I might not have gotten a gift from Father Christmas, but I still got greater presents than I could’ve asked for—I got Aslan’s forgiveness and was taken back in by my family after I betrayed you all.”

    In the blackness of the tent with his brother breathing beside him, Edmund got a lump in his throat as he recalled how Aslan had gazed at him with such seriousness as if he were someone trustworthy rather than a traitor of his own kid. The lump swelled to even larger, almost painful, proportions when he remembered how his siblings had welcomed him back into the warm fold of their family without a bitter word. They’d looked at him with so much love as if he’d never forsaken them for Turkish Delight and a chance to rule Narnia after the White Witch. All of them had shown him a mercy he still couldn’t comprehend and he would always feel an enduring gratitude to them that was too strong to be expressed in words.

    Because they had forgiven him his treason, he thought he could be courageous and self-sacrificing in the battle against the White Witch the next day. He had a sword and a shield—not as glorious as the ones Peter had received from Father Christmas, but ones of solid, shiny Narnian steel that could destroy the minions of the White Witch—and he was determined to wield them in the cause of righteousness after too long being the tool of evil.

    More than his sword and shield, he had a grim strategy born from witnessing in terrifying firsthand the devastation the Witch wrought with her wand that turned creatures to stone. That was why he had resolved to himself with iron-cold certainty that if fate brought him face-to-face with her in tomorrow’s battle, he would target her wand instead of her. It was the wand that made her such a fearsome foe. Without her wand, she could do much less damage to her enemies. That was the lesson Edmund had learned as her unhappy hostage.

    The next day, at the Battle of Beruna, he did indeed find himself fighting the Witch face-to-face. When he saw her cursing creatures to stone all around him, he had gritted his teeth as an overwhelming, unstoppable force overtook him, allowing him to press through three towering ogres guarding the Witch just as she was about to turn one of Aslan’s lieutenant leopards into a stone statue. When he reached her, he took advantage of what he realized might be his one chance to destroy her wand, he lifted his sword high and then brought it smashing like a cresting wave down on her sword, which shattered under the pressure.

    He had the satisfaction of seeing the shock flare on her milk-pale face—she hadn’t expected him to attack her wand rather than her—before her sword sliced into him, and he collapsed to the ground, wounded.

    Pain deeper than anything he could have imagined burned in him. Then, before he could begin to wonder if he was dying, the deep pain became a darkness that almost felt like mercy as his entire world was swallowed by black.

    In the midnight blackness of the void behind his eyelids, he floated through timelessness. He could have floated there for a heartbeat or for a century before a sliver of light pierced the darkness. Following that sliver of light, he opened his eyes to discover that the battle was over, the Witch had been vanquished, and Lucy had revived him with her healing cordial from Father Christmas.

    Edmund had never come so close to dying—he believed in his blood and bones that only Lucy’s cordial had prevented him from perishing—but somehow he had never felt so alive as he did after the Battle of Beruna ended. He should’ve been exhausted, but somehow he was hopeful. He felt himself shining inside and outside in the sunlight because he had been healed in both body and spirit. He had been loved beyond his understanding and because of that he had been able to be brave beyond his imagination. He believed he would never known such triumph as he tasted now. This was his pinnacle as a person.
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2020
  16. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Wonderful Prime Time event =D= full of action, introspection, and courage. Congratulations on completing the Pentathlon. =D=
    devilinthedetails likes this.
  17. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 3, 2002
    Wonderful entries! Congrats on finishing. =D= Edmund is, in my opinion, the most interesting character in the Narnia books. I think his longing to truly fit in with his siblings drove his betrayal and you gave a fantastic look at his guilt of that betrayal. :)

    Love his talk with Peter about being outside of time as they know it in England and how he thinks everything will be different while nothing will be different. That it can be both is quite fantastical. =D==D= Very well done.
    devilinthedetails likes this.
  18. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @JediMaster_Jen Thank you so much for commenting, and apologies again for my delayed response:) I'm so flattered that you thought these entries were wonderful, and thank you for the congratulations on finishing. I really enjoyed exploring Narnia in these stories, and I might just end up writing some more Narnia fan fiction as a result. Edmund was always a favorite character of mine. I felt he had depth and such a compelling character arc so being able to delve into what his betrayal meant and the guilt it caused him was very moving to me.

    I always found that time difference between Narnia and England where no time can pass when they are in Narnia and hundreds of years in Narnia can pass in a few months of England time to be so fascinating, so I really enjoyed being able to have Edmund and Peter talk about that concept. I'm so happy that was a highlight for you!

    Thank you again for your kind comments and apologies again for the delayed response!
  19. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Aug 3, 2003
    "Promises of Princeship" - what a gripping scene!

    "Outside Time As Understood In England" - Lovely work on this one!

    This is a beautiful way to begin the story.

    I loved the discussion about Edmund's true self and the passing of time in Narnia and England, and just this whole moment between the brothers.

    "Stone Courage" - Another lovely story to finish off!

    [face_love] Just beautiful, and that really is the best gift of all.

    The battle scene was intense, and I love Edmund's joy at the end!

    Beautiful way to wrap up this Pentathlon, and congratulations on finishing! =D=
  20. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @amidalachick Thank you so much for commenting! :)I'm so glad that you found "Promises of Princeship" a gripping read because with so few words to use I really wanted to make every word count.

    "Outside of Time As Understood in England" was a really interesting piece for me to write because of the exploration of the nature of time in Narnia versus time in England and I also really loved being able to write a story set on a gorgeous Narnia beach. And the relationship between Edmund and Peter is a really compelling one to me, so it was a pleasure to be able to delve into it in this story.

    "Stone Courage" was a very difficult and dramatic piece for me to write so it makes me so happy you found it a lovely way to finish off this Pentathlon. The intensity of battle scenes is always a bit challenging for me to write so I'm glad it worked well here, and I think in many ways that redemption and forgiveness can be the greatest gifts to receive, so it was very powerful for me to have Edmund become aware of that as a result of his experience in Narnia. I think that is exactly the sort of lesson the Pevensies were supposed to learn from their time in Narnia.
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2020
    Sadie Erso and amidalachick like this.
  21. Sadie Erso

    Sadie Erso Jedi Knight star 3

    Aug 3, 2020
    I loved it!!! :) Such wonderful writing. Just beautiful. :)
  22. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 19, 2019
    @Sadie Erso Thank you so much for commenting!:) I'm so glad that you loved this series of Edmund stories because I really enjoyed writing it and delving more into Edmund's character and experiences. And I'm so flattered that you found the writing just wonderful and beautiful!