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Beyond - Legends The Keeper of Memories~ "Dear Diary chlg," (OCs, L/M ) ~*~ Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by divapilot, Jan 4, 2007.

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  1. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host Who Loves Fanfics & RPGs star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    The differences appear already, chasm deep! Alida's not like a traditional woman of her culture, not by habit or inclination. And it's not like Bontran's family is going out of their way to be insensitive: but their outlooks and sense of identities and self-definitions are literally worlds apart. [face_thinking] Ah!! So now she has to consciously and deliberately not think of Bruno. :( She's right, there will be fewer and fewer options as time goes by. I still haven't forgot about the big time B word: banishment. [face_worried] Foot, what's next? o_O
    Excellent update, and thanks. :)
     
  2. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    Can I just say that I?m so glad that I?m not a Twi?lek, I don?t think I would have it in me to act like a Twi?lek wife. Amazing update and thanks for the pm.
     
  3. verybusy

    verybusy Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2006
    this is getting more and more interesting :) I love the way you let us dive into a whole new world so to say... =D=

    Anyway, I guess if I were Alida I would run at this point... I am curious though what must happen for her to come to this decision. ;)

    cheers,

    VeryBusy
     
  4. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Ooohh, gurlFRIEND, I would not make a "good" Twi'lek wife, either. [face_talk_hand]

    [face_laugh]

    Wonderful chapter! =D= As someone else mentioned, this story is like discovering a whole new world and getting sucked right in. Each character is so real that you feel like you know them, even when they've only just been introduced.

    With this incredible back story, it's becoming more and more apparent why the older Alida in "Alliance" is wise beyond her years. She's learned from the school of hard knocks, methinks. I can't wait to see how her story evolves!

    @};-

     
  5. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Alida is really fooling herself hard, isn't she? She may think that's what she wants but when she realises what she has to give up to be a 'good Twi'lek wife' it's all going to come crashing down. And will Bruno even want her back after being treated like leftovers?
     
  6. SilverCat

    SilverCat Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 16, 2007
    *wanders in* Hi, I'm new.

    Oh, wowie. This is...fantastic.
    I'll be honest, I clicked on this because it had "L/M" in the header, but right now I could care less if they don't make another appearance (ok, that might be a tiny exaggeration...:) )

    I love the richness of detil you've included, from the descriptions of the food, to the wedding ceremony, and Twi'lek culture...you've made it incredibly real and believable.

    I also love how you've woven Alida's past and her present, her relationship with Bruno, and Luke's relationship with Mara all together into a wonderful tapestry.

    I can't wait for more!
     
  7. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk

    30 lashes with a wet noodle for ginchy!! I missed the update!! :_| Please forgive me!! [face_praying] It won't happen again (and if it does, remind me! ;))

    And... Man, I think my in-laws are starting to look good compared to Alida's! Fat!! And she can't cook, and must stay in her place and not talk and she must dance and arrrrgggh! :mad:

    Run away, Alida!!! Run, run, fast!

    Great update, lady, even if I'm late! eeep!

    [:D]
     
  8. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    ...listen to ginchy, Alida, run away!!!!
     
  9. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Now, run, Alida, run![face_worried]
    That is certainly no place for her. And the sooner she gets away the better. I don't think the men will appreaciate her differing...
     
  10. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    Sorry I'm late. (garage sale exhaustion).

    I hope Alida is seeing how, despite the declarations that cooking in the kitchen would be beneath her, she and the other wives are no better than servants themselves. Life with Bruno is looking better and better.
     
  11. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Jade_Pilot: Thank you for such a wonderful and elaborated reply! [:D]

    You are better than this girl! Bontran is manipulating you and you are smart enough to figure it out.

    The light is starting to dawn.[face_worried]

    Lovely detail and descriptions. Great idea about the prisms.

    Old-time whaling ships used prisms to get light below decks. It ought to work here, too.[face_idea]

    I like how Alida flashes back to a meal eaten with Bruno. Perhaps this is where she begins to awaken from her denial?

    Alida is starting to realize what she has given up, and it?s looking better and better. :(

    Wonderful update Sister-pilot! The richness and great characters just make it sing! Then you come along with this compelling plot and I'm totally besotted.

    Aw, thanks!!!:D


    Jade_Eyes: Alida's not like a traditional woman of her culture, not by habit or inclination.

    She has spent enough time away from Ryloth to know that she doesn?t have to be treated like a second class citizen.[face_shame_on_you]

    And it's not like Bontran's family is going out of their way to be insensitive: but their outlooks and sense of identities and self-definitions are literally worlds apart.

    True! It?s their culture to treat women like this. They see nothing insulting or inmappropriate about their behavior.[face_pig]

    now she has to consciously and deliberately not think of Bruno.

    Thank you! Alida is thinking more and more about him, isn?t she?[:D]


    Star_Angel: I?m so glad that I?m not a Twi?lek, I don?t think I would have it in me to act like a Twi?lek wife.

    Me neither! Thank you for the reply! O:)

    Verybusy: I love the way you let us dive into a whole new world so to say. I guess if I were Alida I would run at this point.

    Thank you! Alida is starting to regret her decision. However, she?s in so deeply now ? is she over her head?[face_worried]


    Jedi_Trace: I would not make a "good" Twi'lek wife, either.

    LOL!:D

    With this incredible back story, it's becoming more and more apparent why the older Alida in "Alliance" is wise beyond her years. She's learned from the school of hard knocks, methinks.

    Thank you! She is the authority on the convoluted path of true love. I guess that makes her a pretty reliable source for advice for Luke and Mara! (And they are coming back soon into the picture, btw.)O:)


    JadeLotus: She may think that's what she wants but when she realises what she has to give up to be a 'good Twi'lek wife' it's all going to come crashing down.

    She is starting to think what she has to give up is not worth what she is getting in return. [face_worried]

    And will Bruno even want her back after being treated like leftovers?

    Excellent question, JadeLotus! We?ll see! Thank you for replying!:D


    SilverCat: *wanders in* Hi, I'm new.

    Hello! Welcome in.:D

    I'll be honest, I clicked on this because it had "L/M" in the header, but right now I could care less if they don't make another appearance (ok, that might be a tiny exaggeration...)

    They will be back. Don?t worry. It?s just that Alida?s story has taken on the center stage for a little while. Thank you very much for your kind reply!! :)


    Ginchy: Man, I think my in-laws are starting to look good compared to Alida's! Fat!! And she can't cook, and must stay in her place and not talk and she must dance and arrrrgggh!

    Lots of rules, and hardly any of them are to her benefit. Seems like this place is more frustrating and confining every day.[face_hypnotized]

    Run away, Alida!!! Run, run, fast!

    She?s starting to doubt her decisions. Bontran has fallen a little too readily into the culture of treating women as objects and servants. Maybe it?s time for Alida to start looking for her track shoes???[face_worried]


    MsLann
     
  12. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Entry 15

    After our work serving the midday meal, the men left for the central area of the house to talk while we went to the women?s quarters. Nula produced a key from her pocket and swiped the gate. Holding it open, she let Usilla and me enter. ?Here is your new home, little sister,? she said, smiling.

    The courtyard had lush trees and fragrant blossoming bushes surrounding a small reflecting pool. Water plants drifted across its surface. The light appeared to be natural, reflected from one of the illumination prisms built into the wall. Welcoming red and blue cushions were arranged around the pool.

    ?It?s beautiful,? I breathed.

    Nula smiled and nodded her approval. ?Our husbands provide for us well,? she remarked. ?Come. Our rooms are just around the corner.?

    My room was on the end of the promenade. It was simple: a bed, a dresser, and a small table. My clothes had been sent here earlier, and I discovered that someone had taken the time to put them away. As I drew back the beaded curtain and began to come out of my room, a motion near Usilla?s room caught my eye. I saw Nula hand Usilla a small red pouch. Usilla looked at the pouch longingly, her lekku twisting in nervous anticipation. Nula said something I could not hear, then Usilla bowed her head and her lekku curled inward submissively. She left Nula and retreated into her room.

    I spent the afternoon exploring the little area. It was certainly lovely, but I was surprised to discover that there was no Holonet or even any comm stations. I had hoped to contact Tisa and my parents. When I asked a servant about that, she informed me that such things were not needed for the honored wives, as our husbands would provide for us.

    A few hours later, it was time for dinner. After we served the men, we came back to the women?s quarters for our meal. I was terribly hungry. I had not eaten since before morning meal. Standing obediently and silently behind Bontran and serving him his delicious meals had been hard, when none of it was for me. I hoped that our meal would be at least somewhat as rewarding as the men?s meals.

    I had a long wait. To pass the time, I unpacked my personal items such as toiletries and jewelry, and I took out my necklace. Since Bontran?s father would probably never come into the women?s quarters, I felt it was safe to wear it here. I touched it reassuringly. It was familiar and comforting, and I was feeling increasingly ill at ease. It concerned me that I was not able to contact my family. A reassuring word from my mother or sister would have been helpful.

    Finally, a servant came to my room to inform me that it was time for the wives to eat. Following protocol, Usilla and I waited for Nula to be seated before we took our own seats. Nula reached for a basket and helped herself to some munch fungus, the sweet grainy bread popular on Ryloth. Neither Usilla nor I was so presumptuous as to help ourselves, since we were lower ranking clan sisters. When Nula had selected her pieces, the bread basket was ours. The dishes arrived soon after. The meal consisted of a simple rycrit stew ? but my bowl was half the size of the other two women?s meals. I slowly ate the small meal, then sat quietly while the other two dined. Usilla picked at her stew, leaving large pieces of vegetable and meat uneaten. Nula ate leisurely. I could see from the corner of my eye that she was watching me.

    When the dinner was finished and a servant took the bowls away, Nula leaned over and rested her elbows on the table. Placing her folded hands beneath her chin, she tilted her head and stared at me. Her scarlet lekku swished back and forth indolently. Usilla lowered her eyes and drew into herself.

    ?Little sister,? Nula began. Her voice was low and dripped with charm. ?Our honored clan father has remarked to me that you are too fat and that you lack a dancer?s grace. He has directed that I should help you to become presentable. We have started tonight. You will eat again after the men have eaten their morning meal. In the meantime, I trust you remember the forms
     
  13. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    :eek: :eek:
    :_|
    Now she's in trouble. I wonder how much she effect now and how much Bontran will care, if at all.
    And women....[face_frustrated] :rolleyes:
    I always hated hen-pecking.

    *smuggles running shoes into Alida's room*
     
  14. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    Run, Alida, run! And grab your necklace back on the way out!
     
  15. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Buddy, I'm glad I'm not a Twi'lek. [face_shame_on_you] WHAT is up with this Nula? Jeeeez. Poor Alida, now doubting herself. The only thing she did wrong was make a choice that turned out to be a bad one.

    I just wish she already knew Mara here. I bet Mara could set those boys straight. [face_devil]

    Great update!!!!
     
  16. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Either Nula was right and I was a hopelessly unworthy clan daughter, or I had blindly and willingly walked into a very dangerous situation.

    Oh no! [face_worried] I know things work out alright in the end, but I'm so scared for Alida right now! And it'll be another week until Bontran gets back.

    Wonderful update =D=
     
  17. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    :eek: Oh my land! This should be the last straw. Of course they have her locked away and unable to get to Bontran at all. She can't contact her family or any friends.

    How's she going to get out?

    Wonderful update, Sister-pilot! This story is one of my very favorites here. I just love it.

    Bravo! =D= =D=
     
  18. maramijade

    maramijade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2000
    Yep most definately time to go back to Coruscant.

    :: nodds empahtically::
     
  19. verybusy

    verybusy Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 18, 2006
    [blockquote]Nula?s lekku flickered in disgust. ?I have been instructed to make you presentable. You will follow my directions. You will get thin and learn the dances. You embarrass us. Our honored father must have been given a fortune from Clan Navarth to have agreed to take such a cow as you.? [/blockquote]

    So she got instructios...???[face_thinking] Makes methink about if the ones who gave those are really aware about the way those instructions are put into action...[face_thinking]

    Hmmm .... I hope Alida does not stay in order to find out, but sets out to run right away... I just have a bad feeling about what Botran is going to say ....[face_worried] Probably this is female business where men must not interfere....[face_beatup]

    I am really curious how you let her escape this nightmare though. :D

    cheers,

    Verybusy
     
  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host Who Loves Fanfics & RPGs star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Nula's on some kind of mood altering substance I think. Her personality totally shifted there. She became a perfect (insert bleep here) :p [face_laugh] I wish I could give Alida the shoes from The Wizard of Oz so she could find her way home pronto. [face_laugh]

    Seriously, not being able to contact anyone, having her sister's gift taken... it was bad enough to have to hide her Guardian Necklace. :mad:

    I know this is on a schedule, ;) but the further this goes along, the more frequent I want the updates. =D=
     
  21. SilverCat

    SilverCat Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Apr 16, 2007
    Alida, what are you still doing here???
    *sneaks Alida another pair of running shoes for when the other pairs get worn out*

    Run away, girl, and don't look back!

    Great update, diva_pilot! =D=
    You've got me on the edge of my seat. [face_worried]

    ...Can't wait for more!!
     
  22. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    If this isn't a clear enough sign, Alida needs to get her head read! It must be so hard for her - and it makes me wonder how much Bontran knows about what goes on in the women's quarters - I get the feeling his sisters are great manipulators of the men.

    Great chapter!
     
  23. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    I wonder how much more of this Alida is going to be able to handle, and I have to say that I admire that she have managed this far but I guess that it?s part of her nature, but it still doesn?t make it right.

    Either Nula was right and I was a hopelessly unworthy clan daughter, or I had blindly and willingly walked into a very dangerous situation.

    I?m guessing on the later one and I hope that she will find her way out of it.
     
  24. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    MsLanna: Now she's in trouble. I wonder how much she effect now and how much Bontran will care, if at all.

    Yes, things have gotten considerably more ominous. And Bontran isn?t paying attention.[face_worried]

    And women....

    ? will do what they think they need to do in order to survive. Alida needs to think hard about this future.[face_worried] Thank you for replying!:)


    Jedi-2B: Run, Alida, run! And grab your necklace back on the way out!

    It?s going to be hard to get that back now. Just getting out is going to be a trick. :( But Alida is resourceful. Thanks for coming by to reply![face_dancing]


    Ginchy: WHAT is up with this Nula? Jeeeez. Poor Alida, now doubting herself. The only thing she did wrong was make a choice that turned out to be a bad one.

    No matter how pretty it is, the women are living in what is basically a locked cell. That can do strange things to people, even Alida.[face_hypnotized] Yes, she is beginning to see that this was not her wisest decision![face_thinking]

    I just wish she already knew Mara here. I bet Mara could set those boys straight.

    LOL! Absolutely. :D Thanks for the reply!


    Blue_Milkshake: I know things work out alright in the end, but I'm so scared for Alida right now! And it'll be another week until Bontran gets back.

    She?s really in a fix! Thank you for stopping in!;)


    Jade_Pilot: Of course they have her locked away and unable to get to Bontran at all. She can't contact her family or any friends. How's she going to get out?

    Alida is a smart woman, and she is realizing that she?s in trouble. No one can help her but herself.:)

    Wonderful update, Sister-pilot! This story is one of my very favorites here. I just love it.

    Aw, thanks!


    Maramijade: Yep most definately time to go back to Coruscant.

    Things are not what she expected. Sometimes it has to get really bad before you let a dream die. Thank you for coming by and replying. O:)



    Verybusy: Makes methink about if the ones who gave those are really aware about the way those instructions are put into action...

    Or if they even care. :(

    I hope Alida does not stay in order to find out, but sets out to run right away... I just have a bad feeling about what Botran is going to say .... Probably this is female business where men must not interfere.

    Alida isn?t sure of anything anymore! Everything she thought would happen, like when her sister got married, isn?t turning out for her. This is not what she agreed to. :eek:

    Thanks for your kind reply![:D]


    Jade_Eyes: Nula's on some kind of mood altering substance I think. Her personality totally shifted there.

    Everyone has secrets ? even Nula. Unfortunately, Alida?s the one who gets the brunt of Nula?s anger.:(

    Seriously, not being able to contact anyone, having her sister's gift taken... it was bad enough to have to hide her Guardian Necklace.

    Basically, they are stripping away everything that defines who she is. She has to do something soon or there will be nothing of Alidan?avarth left! Thanks, Jade_eyes, for such a great reply.[:D]


    SilverCat: Alida, what are you still doing here???

    Trying to figure out just how this all went so horribly wrong![face_shame_on_you]

    You've got me on the edge of my seat.

    Thanks! Glad you are enjoying it.[face_dancing]



    JadeLotus: It must be so hard for her - and it makes me wonder how much Bontran knows about what goes on in the women's quarters - I get the feeling his sisters are great manipulators of the men.

    I get the feeling you?re right. When your welfare depends upon the whim of your husband, a smart woman knows how to act and what to say to please him. The sister?s aren?t stupid, and Nula clearly sees Alida as a threat. [face_thinking
     
  25. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Entry 16

    The next daystart, a servant awoke me. ?Hurry, Sienn Navarth,? she said quietly. ?Mistress Nula is waiting for you.?

    I quickly got out of bed and dressed. After I put on my pants and my halter top, my hand automatically went to my throat to adjust the pendant on my necklace. But my necklace wasn?t there. Remembering the night before, I took a deep breath and braced myself. Whatever Nula had planned for me, I was sure I wouldn?t like it.

    I bit my lip nervously and tried to rationalize her actions. Perhaps she was jealous because I was getting attention as the new member of the clan. Perhaps she was just trying to frighten me so that I would obey her without question.

    I came out into the courtyard to see Nula sitting on a cushion, her arms stretched languidly to either side. Her hands dangled lazily off the ends of the pillows behind her. My necklace glittered around her throat. A plainly dressed servant stood behind her, and in the servant?s hand was a datapad.

    ?Good day, sister,? she said pleasantly. ?I trust you slept well??

    ?Yes, Nula,? I lied. I curled my lekku inward submissively.

    ?Your exercises will begin today,? she announced. ?On the datapad are a series of dance forms you are to practice. When you are done with that, you are to await your instructions.? She rose up from her seat and walked toward me.

    She drew very near my ear and whispered, ?I will be watching you. My servant will bear the punishment if you try to avoid your work today, Sienn Navarth. Unless you wish her bruises to be your fault, you will complete the forms listed on the datapad in their entirety.? Nula stepped back and smiled sweetly. ?Are we understood, little sister??

    ?Yes, Nula,? I said quietly.

    Nula stood there for a moment, fingering the necklace. Finally she spoke. ?Perhaps manners in provincial Navarth are not as evolved as they are here. In Parrul, when someone gets up before daystart to program a fitness repertoire for her sister, one would expect appreciation.?

    I lowered my head. ?Forgive me, Nula. Thank you,? I said. The words were like bones in my throat. Nula smiled, self-satisfied, and walked away.

    When first meal arrived and I left to serve Bontran in the dining hall, I had only finished one-third of my dance forms. By the time I served Bontran at mid-meal, I had completed three-fourths of the dance forms. My feet were torn and blistered, and my head spun with hunger. Finally, in mid-afternoon, I had successfully completed the required forms. I sat down, exhausted, on a cushion beside the reflecting pool.

    The reflected sunlight made tiny stars along the water. I leaned over and looked into the pool, and was startled by my own reflection. In just a few days, I had begun to look like a frightened pup.

    I heard a soft noise. Looking up, I saw I was not alone. Across the pool from me reclined Usilla. She was very still, with her eyes closed, such that at first I thought she was asleep until I saw her absently scratch her arm. The small red pouch that Nula had given her the night before lay beside her.

    I got up and walked over to join her. When I approached, her eyes flew open as if in fear. Then she smiled. ?Hello, little sister,? she said sleepily.

    My heart leapt. Perhaps I would have a friend here after all. ?Hello, Usilla,? I said. ?I hope I am not disturbing you.?

    She leaned back into the pillows and cushions, her dark eyes narrow slits. She lifted up her hand weakly, then let it fall back onto the pillow. ?You are not disturbing me, little sister,? she murmured.

    I frowned. It was only afternoon. How could she be so tired? ?Usilla, are you ill?? I asked.

    She was quiet for a few moments, then her lips slowly curled upward. ?No, not ill. Just tired,? she slurred. Her eyes fluttered closed, then her breathing became deep and rhythmic. I realized she was asleep. I looked at her curiously.

    That was when I noticed the faint dark blue lines that marked her full lips. Gently, I opened the red pouch. Four full glitterryl sticks and one half-empty one lay in the b
     
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