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Saga - PT The Killers of Kashyyyk (OCs short story) COMPLETED

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kurisan, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    gg
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  2. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    A sense of foreboding, brilliantly brought to a dreadful crescendo. But even Master Yoda senses that there is more. I will cue up with him in the waiting line.
     
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  3. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    Wait...this isn't a one shot, is it :( ? Great action sequences, and I loved the way that Maya & the Wookiees coordinated the attack, but...but...but...what happened at Palsaang? You won't just leave us hanging like this! (Will you?)[face_nail_biting]

    Great descriptions of saberwork. Writing batttle scenes isn't easy. These were great & easy to follow.
     
  4. Onderon1

    Onderon1 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Kurisan - I've not replied enough lately, and I apologize for that ... [face_blush]

    Maya's back! Yaaayyy!!! :D And with :chewie: ! :eek: (Well, OK, that's a generic Wookiee, but the smiley works very well. :p

    Anyhow - Urk. Poor clones. Poor Chalworr. :( Hopefully, whatever hit Palsaang isn't as lethal to Wookiees and a Padawan as it was to the detachment ... [face_worried]
     
  5. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    You are the Supreme Leader of Evil Cliffies. Nice! What a great start! Glad to see Maya's back!
     
  6. Flyboy240

    Flyboy240 Jedi Padawan star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 6, 2017
    Very well done.
     
  7. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Ah ha! Another Maya adventure, off to a rip-roaring start, tense cliffhanger and all! I'll be eager to get to know these new comrades of Maya's, and of course to learn what the San Hill happened to this base and all the clones manning it—sounds extremely sinister indeed, and I'm guessing there's a lot more to it than just Separatist shenanigans!
     
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  8. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  9. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

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    Jul 11, 2014
    Yay, Maya is back! And with Wookiees too! They're my favourite SW aliens, so you can count me in for the ride.

    (Okay, who am I fooling. I'd be reading this anyway, there's Maya here!)

    Wonderful action-packed beginning here, although Chalworr's death made me very sad :( But there's more at stake than just surveillance going on; I suspect I know what the probe droids were there to report and I don't like it one bit! Maya's clone friends had better be very careful when they come. I'm also waiting for the Polis Massans and the baddies to show up ;)
     
  10. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    No, the team is NOT fully assembled. :D Stop everything! :p I'm here, I'm here!

    Glad to see another Maya story and...with Wookiees! And this is off to a good start, despite the upsetting bloodbath.
     
  11. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    This really takes you straight to the action--the battle scenes are great! My favourite line has got to be "the air sizzled with a storm of ruby arrows from the Vipers" --it gives an almost poetic imagery to the scene and the choice of words is great.

    Gotta admit--I'm a bit curious about the Agi bird.
     
  12. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014

    That's my parrot and it's an inside joke. :p I believe the one in the story is an Agr bird. I want it to be an Agi bird, darn. :p
     
  13. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Grand Master star 4

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    Nov 27, 2013
    I have no idea why I saw "Agi bird" instead of "Agr bird"----now this is a bit hilarious given the backstory :p
     
  14. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

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    Apr 26, 2016
    gg
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  15. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    The band is back together! But tragedy looms close on the horizon.

    We've all seen ROTS.
     
  16. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    I just love Maya being called "little Agr" (secretly Agi :p ). I am really interested in this Phantom virus.
     
  17. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Your Yoda scenes in this update were brilliant. You offered us a mix of wisdom, sneaky humour and great sadness when writing him.

    A virus is never a good thing, as I know from kindergarten teaching experience. I wonder where this will lead to.
     
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  18. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Hail, hail, the gang's all here! It's wonderful that this won't be "just me, sneaking behind enemy lines" and that Maya once again will be going on an adventure with her trusty her trusty clone posse. (With invaluable ground support from dear old Dr. Xam too, of course.) We are clearly dealing here with a much more concrete and insidious Phantom Menace (!) than, well, whatever the one in the SW film of the same name was supposed to be. :p Accordingly, combating it calls for a stealthy approach to combat it, and Maya's very much the woman for that job. The fact that she's earned the respect of the Wookiees will undoubtedly stand her in good stead, and I'll look forward to seeing more of her interactions with them.

    Now, all that said... "You didn’t think I’d let you do this on your own, did you"—aw, Flint is such a dear behind that grizzled ARC exterior, and I can't help but think that there's a touch more behind this sentiment than just battlefield camaraderie. <3
     
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  19. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

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    Dec 21, 2016

    That's right, because chronologically, they're around the same age.

    Dang it, now you've got me shipping Flintaya as well as Rexsoka!
     
  20. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Yay for Flint! For the others, too...BUT FLINT. OMG. [face_love] Flintaya 5ever!

    Love to see Maya thinking in Wookiee terms when it comes to ethics and so glad that Master Yoda is there to mentor her. Let's hope the gang manages to eradicate this awful virus!
     
  21. Kurisan

    Kurisan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2016
    gg
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2021
  22. Findswoman

    Findswoman Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    A daring escape indeed! For a bit there I was wondering the same thing as Dr. Can about why Blanco put them down in the lake, but his reply does make sense and very likely saved everyone's bacon. Absolutely wonderful work by Maya in transporting Xam and his precious cargo across the lake—she's the St. Christopher of this mission, for sure! And she's definitely getting the commando mindset down, thanks to her natural empathy and adaptability.

    A word about the shipping guess: I'm not meaning to pressure you (or Maya) into anything, you know! :p However things may or may not go in that area, I'll continue to enjoy the series all the same. :)
     
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  23. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    Breathtaking action scenes. I hope that you do not update before the 9th October, otherwise I will miss a lot.
     
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  24. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

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    Dec 21, 2016
    The landing in the lake thing reminds me of a certain episode of Dukes Of Hazzard, for some reason. :)
     
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  25. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Oops, I missed an update! (Don't worry about updating twice a week on my account though – worst-case scenario I'll get two chapters for the price of one, like today.)

    So that was it! The clone-killing virus has been deployed, and the gang is back together. Now we can expect that they'll be running into some baddies soon [face_nail_biting]

    I enjoyed the scene with Yoda; it's good for Maya to have an elder Jedi coach in such a situation. I understand that it must be difficult for her to communicate with her own master, with her being in the thick of the action and him remaining a steadfast pacifist despite the on-going war. But she needs this sort of guidance from time to time, and it was nice to see Yoda playing the role of the grandfatherly mentor here.

    It's interesting to see Maya thinking increasingly "like a commando". Did I miss an indication as to how much time has lapsed between The Justice of the Judland and this story? From the interaction between Maya and Flint it feels like they've been apart for a while, am I getting this right? And if I am, am I also correct to assume that her solo adventures in the meantime were not of the pleasant sort?

    And now, off for a trek across the Kashyyyk forest... I can imagine any number of things that could go wrong before they even meet the baddies.