Saga The Last of the Old (Dear Diary Challenge 2010 - Completed 1/2/2011)

That was so nice, and seeing the difference between Luke and Anakin was good for Ben.

 

Luke is acting much older than his age. I am not sure what to think of it.
I like Owen, though, protective old scugger.

 

Jade_eyes: I like to think that Luke and Anakin are both somewhat products of their respective environments. Both had a loving and compassionate mother (Shmi & Beru). Both had hard and cynical fathers (Obi-Wan and the Jedi Council & Owen). Anakin sadly was ripped from one extreme to another, while Luke was raised within the balance of both, hence why Luke ended up so much more well adjusted than his father. Thanks for reading!!!


JediKaren: At least every two weeks... no less. I promise. And thank-you.


Valiowk: There hasn't been enough written on young Leia in my opinion (perhaps someone out there can remedy that?).
And your support of Exeter highjacking my thread as a way to pass it off as actual writing has been noted. Your ALL on the list...


Gkilkenny: Thanks, I always though there was too much emphasis on the similarities between Luke and Anakin, when the contrasts were always so blatant.

MsLanna: Have you been unlocked??? I don't think Luke is acting older than his age. In fact the IIRC, the TPM novelization has a pre-story of Anakin actually rescuing a Tusken out in the desert, some time before the actual start of the story. Yes, I know, a similarity, but that always stood out in my mind when I've had to write children. They tend to be much wiser than us old folk, especially when considering right vs. wrong.

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[b]ENTRY 296[/b]

I?ve come to the conclusion that the old Krayt Dragon?s den is some sort of nexus of Darkside energy. I?ve come across such focal points of evil energy in my old life, for one, there is a similar cave on Dagobah where Master Yoda now resides, and I know there are at least several more spread out across the galaxy.

Each time I try Master Yoda?s technique to commune with those who have become One with the Force ? namely Master Qui-Gon ? I feel it beckon me yet again. I can?t understand why, I?ve seen what it beholds, but have rejected it wholly. I refuse to let its storytelling play upon my trepidations, and turn them into fear that the Darkside can feed upon.

I have no desire to train another Jedi, to roll the chance cubes and hope I?m not just training another future apprentice for Darth Sidious.

I will watch over young Luke, not for the future of the Jedi Order, but for repentance to Anakin for my inability to be the Master, and friend he needed me to be, instead of the one the Council demanded me to be.

When he is ready to learn about the Force, I will let him choose, and if the life of the Jedi is what he desires, I will send him to Master Yoda. In the mean time, I will continue at least one of the assignments Master Yoda has given me and try again to reach Qui-Gon.

 

Hmm, more a reply to your one reply than the update - but you think Obi-Wan was hard? Don't get me wrong, he didn't give Anakin all that he wanted (though he gave him much of what he needed), but then Anakin wasn't exactly the ideal pupil, either (hence, I see "blame" on both shoulders if we have to assign "blame" to one or the other).

This is not the place for a treatise on "what went wrong" but that's hardly the characterization I get from the movies (unless you wish to focus exclusively on one scene in AoTC which would be unfair).

So, Obi-Wan doesn't wish to train another Jedi. He's just protecting Luke, then? I do actually find that believable, though of course, he will do what the Force demands of him when the time comes.

Interesting that he feels the darkside beckon when he tries to commune with Qui-Gon. Maybe Qui-Gon is really the .

 

Like Valairy, I can understand why Obi-Wan doesn't desire to train another Jedi. Back in the day, Qui-Gon thought he was done with training Jedi too, and Xanatos' betrayal doesn't seem anywhere near the scale of Anakin's... Interesting that Obi-Wan views watching over Luke as repentance to Anakin instead of as the last duty of a Jedi, though.

As for Obi-Wan thinking of sending Luke to Master Yoda if Luke desires to be a Jedi - I wonder if it's occurred to Obi-Wan that Yoda too had a student who turned to the Dark Side; however, this didn't cause Yoda to stop training Jedi after that. At some point of time, Obi-Wan needs to let this wound heal. But of course, that will take time.

I had no idea what to make of the fact that Obi-Wan felt the Dark Side beckon every time he tried to commune with Qui-Gon, and now you've gotten this warped answer stuck in my head, Valairy! j/k

 

I don't blame Obi-Wan for not wanting to train another.
I believe the council had it right when they said they shouldn't train Anakin.

His jealousy stemmed from his slavery days and he should never have been a Jedi.

I don't think Qui-Gon did Obi-Wan any favours and that is why Obi-Wan feels uneasy about connecting to him.

Even from the beginning it was all power that bratkins wanted. Luke didn't seem that way and I think Owen loved him and Luke knew it.

But as usual Obi-Wan will do what the Force tells him after all he is the one the Force saved to look after the future.

 

hmm interesting post.

btw side note: I disagree with the statement about not training Anakin. The order could have done a better job with him, not that I blame Obi Wan.

 

The Krayt dragon's den a dark place? Is that the one where the Rakata artifacts were found by Revan? That will explain it.

Two very great posts.

 

Just got all caught up and WOW! Such great insights to Obi-wan. You are doing a fantastic job! Can't wait for the next post!

 

Wow, didn't think one little update would bring such discussion!

While I might come off as being defensive, in truth I'll try and paint the picture of Obi-Wan/Anakin as I see it. I've tried to base my vision of the dynamics of their relatonship is based on what I've read and seen as a whole in EU material, and the films. I've always seen Obi-Wan as a man thrust with a responsibilty he was not prepared for, essentially fatherhood. He raised a small independant boy; and grew to be very affectionate for him as would a real father. However, he was in the unadmirable position of having to keep his distance, and not being a "loving" father, as much as he wanted to be. It just wasn't how it was done. Almost akin to the blue collar fathers of old who loved their sons, but just was never given the ability to be more expresive and open about those feelings.

Basically, I see it as the only way Obi-Wan felt he could get the job done was to be distant, and follow the "code" and be strict and "hard", because to be honest he hadn't even enough time to being a Jedi Kight himself before he was then dubbed the Master to "The Chosen One". Can't affored to mess this up, so go by the book, I see as Kenobi's take on training Anakin, to the point where he made have overdid his detachment. Keep in mind, although initially a slave, Anakin went from a dotting mother and relative freedom, to hard line rules and mentors. (not to say they were bad, just not what Anakin had spent the first half of his life was used to.) And again, as I acknowledge through out the diary, Obi-Wan recognizes Anakin's role in what he became; but deep down he also must see himself as the father of a mass murderer; and will constantly question himself on what he could have done different so his sone never evolved into such a monster... And if any scene in the prequels influences this diary, it's definately Obi-Wan's heart wrenching scene on the banks of Mustafar (still gets me choked up)

Enough rambling.


Valairy: I don't actually think Qui-Gon is the devil... but there is a connection.

Valiowk: I think at this point, and keep in mind for the benefit of this diary I can see into Obi-Wan's head, that he's thinking Yoda, as old and wise as he is, probably deals with this kind of betrayal better than he. *shrugs*

Gkilkenny: But as usual Obi-Wan will do what the Force tells him after all he is the one the Force saved to look after the future. Hopefully that's coming soon, I was hoping to wrap this up by years end! (2 1/12 mos. people!)

JediKaren: It's funny you say that, because I've been working on an AU (off and on) about the council choosing someone else to train Anakin, and how that effects both he and Obi-Wan in the long run.

earlbird-obi-wan: sadly, I'm not that well schooled in the Old Republic Era, so I'm gonna' say no...

Takianna: Thanks so much!!!

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[b]ENTRY 467[/b]

As the years have gone by, I have learned to accept that the Force will not allow me to just stop being a Jedi. I won?t be allowed to aid the Lost Twenty increase their membership and moniker by one. The desert hermit known to the people of the region as Ben just will never lead a simple life. The Force constantly calls, and I must discard my sand tattered robes and my secret identity in favor of my Jedi training garb to answer it.

Like bloody hell

 

how...charming

but good chapter! I love the quick update!

 

Ah, I agree with you on a lot of that (except some of the EU stuff, perhaps); I think we are approaching our definition of "hard" differently. I see Obi-Wan as naturally reserved anyway and the stress of, well, everything [grief never probably dealt with, set aside to deal with Anakin; survivor's guilt...] probably reinforced that. Being somewhat that way myself, I dislike it when our - reserve, shyness, fear of looking a fool, whatever - is considered unfeeling and unfriendly, or "hard."

Aloof, perhaps. Insensitive at times, quite probably (at least in perception to some). But hard - hmm. Well, to drop that and address the post.

Like bloody hell will I ever don those heavy Jedi robes in this desert though.

Can't say as I blame Obi-Wan.

[Owen]expressed his thanks for seeing Luke home ? as only Owen can ? by forbidding me from coming near Luke again, lest he would kill me.

"Hard" that is. Callous and ungrateful. Or so it would seem; I'm one of those who do see Owen as the gruff, hide-the-softness, truly-care-for-the-kid "parent." And he wants to protect Luke from that "crazy old wizard."

 

Nice pair of updates and they flow well into each other as Obi-Wan seems to be relinquishing his old role and accepting a new one without bitterness but with a whole lot of regret still, naturally. He feels he must protect Luke despite Owen's attitude.

 

Great to see Obi-Wan muttering about Owen after rescuing Luke.

And a nice update

 

A very interesting statement Obi-Wan is making here! We tend to have a certain perception of the Lost Twenty, because some of the Lost Twenty turned to the Dark Side. I wonder whether Obi-Wan is making this statement somewhat ironically or whether he's referring to the Lost Twenty purely as Jedi Masters who left the Order...

Can't say I disagree with him here!

The idea that Obi-Wan wanted to give up his previous identity and become merely Ben (which is clearly the case when you look at the way he says "Obi-Wan Kenobi. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.") still breaks my heart to this day. Great job talking about what it means to want to separate those two identities, yet never be completely able to do so!

 

It might have been an idealistic crusade, but it was inevitable that it would come to pass. After all Luke was only on loan to Owen and Beru and if he had been with them in the end he would be dead too..

What is sad is that Obi-Wan spent twenty years keeping watch over luke, only to die almost immediately in the first movie. I didn?t think that was planned out well. Luke couldn?t possibly learn enough to do what he did in such a short time.

Hey, but Obi-Wan made a great ghost.

 

I'm very glad for the spirited discussion the last post provoked, and after some reflection I've softened my stance in that I'm basing my opinions on what has been "infered" in various sources (films included). That and I think in Obi-Wan's reflective state, and having the benefit of hindsight, he's been trying to see things through Anakin's eyes. To Ani, Obi-Wan was always like a father, but an over critical one. In almost two decades of solitude, I'd think he more than once doubted his raising and training of Anakin, to the point of agreeing with the "Chosen To Be Whiny One" to a certain degree.

I've always felt that the Jedi made an exception to the rule by letting Anakin become part of the Jedi Order, despite his age, but then just stopped making the exceptions to his obviously unique circumstances, and due to him being the Master; Obi-Wan was tasked with not only teaching him in the ways of the Force, but instilling the hard nosed discipline. "Because the Council" wishes it to be so...


Anywho, thanks for voicing your opinions, it was really a nice treat for such a discussion! (and I wouldn't mind more )

Jade-eyes: Thanks, I think it's taken a while, but I feel we're reaching the zenith of Obi-Wan's state of depression.

earlybird-obi-wan: Well, both are getting up there, no reason why Obi-Wan can't be a grumpy old man himself at times.

Valiowk: Obi's statement about the Lost Twenty is more of an internal slight against Dooku, but I guess you could also see it as a man not willing to desert what has defined him for over half his life. And I've tinkered with the thought of Ben Kenobi being the "Clark Kent" to the "Superman" of "The Great Negotiator" Obi-Wan Kenobi...

Gkilkenny What is sad is that Obi-Wan spent twenty years keeping watch over luke, only to die almost immediately in the first movie. I didn?t think that was planned out well. Srsly!!! What do think prompted me to do this diary!

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[b]ENTRY 468[/b]

[i]Why must the cave beckon me? It had nothing I desire.[/i]

That is what I continued to tell myself yesterday.

Today however ? that is a different tale.


The last time I entered the cave I found the Force had transported me to Luke?s future. Battling both of the Sith alone - much like Anakin would ? and after defeating the temptation of the Darkside, he was overwhelmed by its followers, destroyed by Vader and his Emperor, the last of the Jedi, eliminated from the galaxy. And afterwards, I had resolved not to be the avenue of Luke?s demise.


This time however, I saw something much different. A battle station grander than anything the Trade Federation had ever constructed. I saw myself, and Vader; once again our lightsabers locked in combat. But it was not as evenly matched as our last duel, I had grown older, and he was now fully engulfed by the Darkside of the Force.

And then he struck me down.


As I left the cave it disturbed me greatly. Not that I was defeated by Vader in my vision, but that I wasn?t concerned by it at all. Yes, we Jedi are trained to be selfless, to always be ready to give ourselves over to the Force for the greater good, but I would think the foresight of my death would have some effect on me.

But there was none. My concern was with Luke, and his welfare; it always has been since the day he wa born. Though, not only for his life, but his soul. In my vision, I died serving the Force, not trying to control it, and I knew ? at the moment I was struck down by his father ? that Luke would take that lesson with him. He was like Anakin, he wasn?t raised by the Jedi since birth, he couldn?t be flash taught our ways like the clones had been. But I can?t just ask him to blindly follow me to Dagobah either to let Yoda train him either. He needs to know what it means to be a Jedi. I owe it Anakin - and Padme - to protect their son, and to [i]not[/i] fail him, as I had his father.

It was if I had suddenly been granted clarity of my hand in the P

 

great foreshadowing and that is what will lead Ben to his sacrifice becoming one with the Force and able to teach Luke.

Excellent post

 

Yes it did give Luke something to think about seeing his new found friend Ben being struck down by such an evil being. Luke seemed determined to learn all he could.

 

My concern was with Luke, and his welfare; it always has been since the day he wa born. Though, not only for his life, but his soul. In my vision, I died serving the Force, not trying to control it

I'd agree; and while I always think Obi-Wan tried to serve the Force, he truly served it later in life, for the Force and Luke was all he had - and hope.

It was if I had suddenly been granted clarity of my hand in the Prophecy of old. My fear had been that I was afraid of my failure as a Master, but I realize now that in succumbing to that fear I am serving the Darth Sidious and the Darkisde by giving into my despair, and abandoning hope. But I have a new hope now

Well, I'd think ANY Jedi would find the fall of the Order, of the Republic overwhelming and with Obi-Wan, the fall of his apprentice. No wonder he had succumbed to a certain amount of fear. He IS human after all.

But he is also Jedi, and can be recalled to that with the passage of time, with the Force, and with Luke. With the restoration of Hope.

Excellent update.

 

Lanna is not locked, Ale, just unable to send pms. And so I stay Etain.
Well, Ben keeps making up his mind - or should I say changing it?
I am worried about him knowing about his own death though. Maybe he is not fazed by it at all being a Jedi and all that, but - knowing when you will die is not healthy.

At least he is not stuck in his old Jedi ways now, so Luke ahs a good chance of a new start.

 

A large dose of foreshadowing here indeed!

And thus it is that Obi-Wan learns what it truly means to serve the Force. I hadn't thought about the fact that the way Ben Kenobi died would have such a great impact on Luke, but now that you mention it, I can see how this would be the case.

Though, this last paragraph disturbs me somewhat. Like Lanna said, knowing when you will die (especially when it's not due to some sort of illness) is not healthy. Also, it seems to a certain extent that Obi-Wan is willing to die to teach Luke this lesson - which, while it's unselfish, is also a bit disturbing, especially keeping in mind that at present he has no idea that this is indeed the future and not just a vision that may or may not come true.

 

earlybird & kenny - yeah, you can now see the light at the end of the tunnel now!

Valiary - actually the "fear" Obi-Wan was refrencing was of having to train the "Chosen One", but I'm sure the other circumstances affected his hesitation of wanting to train Luke later.

Lanna/Etain - Well, technically, Obi-Wan knows how he will die, not really when... and ever in motion is the future, how can he be so certain?

Valiowk - See above AND below...

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[b]ENTRY 469[/b] (Part 1)

It has taken over eighteen years, but I have done it!

I have contacted Master Qui-Gon!

I made no changes to my methods of meditation, but the way the Force flowed around and through me became intense in a way I hadn?t felt since the destruction of the Order. I was focused on the vision of my death, and the unnatural calmness that had possessed me afterwards. The acceptance of my death let me flow through the Force, past simple things such as the tangible or even premonitions. I was submerged into a greater landscape of being, absorbing the grander scheme of the Force, one that intertwines both life and death.

Yes, yes, I know; [i]?There is no death, there is only the Force.?[/i]

It was if the acceptance of my fate as Luke?s mentor ? as well as my own death - enhanced my ability to understand my path, and part in the Legacy of the Chosen One. I have never felt such a connection to the Force. It was then I heard his voice, as Yoda had promised me I would so many years ago:


[i]It is good to see you have persevered my former apprentice.[/i]

 

nice for Obi-Wan to hear Qui-Gon. Now he will be soon united.

Excellent update and now waiting for the action

 

And now his job is done and he can live in the Force surrounded by his friends and mentor.