Before - Legends The Liar's Candle~ Proverbs Challenge Response

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by MiralukaJedi, May 23, 2010.

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  1. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    May 15, 2008
    Title: The Liar's Candle
    Genre: Angst/Action
    Character: Hylo Visz
    Summary: A famed smuggler's double-cross leads to a last stand.
    Warning: Character Death imminent.

    Disclaimer: I own nothing.

    Author's Note: This is a vignette for the Proverbs Challenge on the Fanfiction Resource boards. This proverb is as follows:

    The liar?s candle lasts till evening. ~Turkish proverb

    The game had been played and lost. There was little left to gain in denying that now. Her latest game and perhaps the most risky that she had ever played- aside from the gamble of the breaking the Mandalorian blockade, which seemed like such a little thing now- had failed.

    This was going to be her last stand. Running away from the nameless Trandoshan and Weequey thugs of Kelny the Hutt on some equally nameless planet on the Sith-Republic border. Knowing that they had already destroyed her business, her ship, and her credits; and knowing that now, at last, they were here to collect the final part of what they had deemed an unpayable debt.

    Simply put, they had come for her very life.

    Briefly, she found respite in a dark alley. There was no escape from it, when they would finally come and find her here. It was a dead-end and there was no possible way that she would be able to get out of it in one piece- not with the Hutts having paid off her once loyal crew to double cross her for her own double cross of their cartels. All she had were her wits and her custom blaster, as well as a spare vibro-knife she sheathed in her boots just in case. She intended to go out guns blazing, taking as many of the thugs with her as possible.

    To die as she had lived. By dealing with the cards that she had been dealt and was going to look for whatever opportunities that she could gain from them. In this case, she would see to at least gain a memorable death from those who were going to murder her in a dank, nameless alley.

    It was the evening of her life and this was how it was going to end.

    Checking her blaster to make sure that its power-pack was fully charged, she clipped it back into her belt. Looking briefly at her chrono and wondering what was keeping her appointed executioners, she settled in to wait.

    While she waited, she ran her fingers through her black and red hair. She mentally counted the various tattoos that she had accumulated over the years. They represented each goal she had reached and each obstacle that she had overcome over the course of her life. In some cases, they represented the various lies that she had told while she played her hand at smuggling goods from one port to the next. And she had many of those. She had become a very skilled liar over the years.

    She thought back to the thing, that final great lie, that had lead her to being trapped in this dark dead-end on a world whose name she couldn?t recall if she tried at the moment awaiting her assured demise. She had been so sure that she would have been able to get away with it and come up with an even greater profit than she had since the Mandalorian gambit. That she would be able to break completely free of the Hutts supply lines and establish her own organisation as a strong, truly respected and powerful one in its own right.

    She only realised now that her elaborate lies might have caused her to over-reach herself this time. She had been so confident, so ready to believe that the great skill that she had spent years cultivating, the one that had served her so well as a smuggler, would never fail her. Over confidence, maybe that had been her weakness in the end.

    Her lies had been perfect, elaborate, and believable. But she had believed too often that they would always be there for her. That they would continue, in their perfect, elaborate and believable way, to serve her and her colleagues well. Perhaps that had been the greatest lie of all.

    ?Well, well, well, if it isn?t the little sleemo smuggler with no place left to run? Boss slug isn?t too happy with no kriffing money, Visz. Not too happy at all.? T>
  2. Idrelle_Miocovani

    Idrelle_Miocovani Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Feb 5, 2005
    I've recently begun really liking reading about these "underworld" characters - smugglers and the like. They don't live the glamorous life, and I think that appeals to me right now since it's fascinating. Wonderful job capturing the moment.

    P.S. I love this particular proverb! You've chosen excellent ones for the challenge. :)
  3. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    great use of the proverb, showing us some of the underside of life.
  4. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    her elaborate lies might have caused her to over-reach herself this time

    Something that happens to all liars at some point.

    It's unfortunate Hylo paid with her life but sooner or later there's always a consequence.

    Excellent response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  5. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    May 15, 2008
    They're definitely interesting to try to right, that's for sure. That moment tends to force someone to become reflective, which is something that appeals to me in terms of writing at the moment- the whole thing makes for an interesting psychological look at the character and that definitely appeals for me at the moment.

    Thanks. When I went through my proverbs book (The Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs- great little book and an interesting read, believe it or not), I went for the most unique or interesting ones that I could find. If you want to see more, keep on reading or you could pick another number [face_batting] .
  6. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    May 15, 2008
    Thanks. Glad you liked it and it was definitely something that made for an interesting challenge to write.
  7. MiralukaJedi

    MiralukaJedi Jedi Knight star 4

    May 15, 2008
    Yes, yes it does. Though in this case, the consequences were fatal. Thanks and good luck on your own response as well.
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