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Saga The Long and Winding Road---Link to Sequel NOW up! 5/11

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JediKnight-Obi-Wan, Nov 22, 2000.

  1. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    I can't help it. I gotta snag the hundreth post!
     
  2. imzadi

    imzadi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    That was so... so incredibly sad! The part with the braid, and how she started to cry was excellent! And how she looked at him with surprise was great. Ooh and at the end, *sniff*. This is probably my favourite so far! Thanks for posting again so soon!
     
  3. Fleet Admiral

    Fleet Admiral Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 12, 2000
    Excellent posts JKOW!
    You described Meri's emotions very well. I kind of know how Meri is feeling right now. It is very realistic.
    I had similar feeings when I lost a friend of mine in a chopper accident. I went through what Meri did, but with less intensity.

    Anyway, how long until Meri can be hershelf again? I am dying to know.. Hehehe. I am also waiting to read now Alex and Meir settle down. hehe I am sure there are embrassing moments. hehe


     
  4. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    I'm delighted you had bad weather! Two posts in one day! I'm in heaven!
     
  5. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    Oh my, you wrote Meri's feelings so vividly I felt like I was right there with her. Even with her surprise at noticing Alex was so much taller than her. (Which is quite a feat to make me see things from Meri's height, I'm 5'11, normally Alex would look just right to me.) And Meri's effort to call him Master really shows that she's willing to move on, but needs help to do so. I smirked when Alex winked, that is just so him! :D

    Wonderful JKOW!
     
  6. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Sounds like Alex has a bit of a challenge ahead! I liked the part where Meri suddenly pulled away from him and put up walls around her feelings again, and how Alex realised what was he was up against. The braiding ceremony was so sweet. If these posts are the result of the bad weather, then I hear a song in my mind:

    Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
     
  7. Calamity Jinn

    Calamity Jinn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2000

    Excellent writing JKOW. You got the balance of everything just right! Great emotions portrayed. As well as the bits already mentioned by others, I liked the little touch with Alex checking with An-Paj what he should do to comfort her. I think he'll be doing a lot of that!

    Any more exams likely to get put off? (Crosses fingers)
     
  8. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Incredibly well written JWOK!

    I didn't realize till I was done reading that I had one hand over my mouth to stay my trembling lips.

    Ooooohhhh, so sad! I loved it!!!
     
  9. Jade's Fire2003

    Jade's Fire2003 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    I really really like this story.
     
  10. Berit_Aysen

    Berit_Aysen Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2000
    oh, this is just so...exciting! i love this so much. i really liked the braiding ceremony part...*dances happily and waits for another post*
     
  11. Jade's Fire2003

    Jade's Fire2003 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    To the top...
     
  12. Calamity Jinn

    Calamity Jinn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2000

    Just giving this a helping hand back up!

     
  13. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Thanks Calam! I was just about to post on this and was glad to find it on the top. I'm in a very good mood today, but you may not be able to tell it by this post. But remember that final that got postponed till today, well, it was actually CANCELED. As in NO final. I was just soooo thrilled. I might get out two more post for this one tonight, before heading over to Darkest and working on that one. Thats my PLANS anyway, whether or not I'll accomplish all that remains to be seen.

    Anyway here is a short post for yall, and feedback is SOOO much appreciated!

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


    Meri paused in the main room of the new quarters and looked about her with a weary gaze. The day seemed as though it had last an eternity, and she was completely exhausted. Her eyes felt full of sand, and her legs felt as though they were trembling.
    The emotional roller coaster she had been on that day had left her wanting only to sleep, and go to that dark place of oblivion where pain had no place.

    Turning slightly she found her Master's compassionate eyes on her, and to her horror she couldn't stop her lips from trembling as tears rushed to her eyes. Quickly she turned away from him, hoping he would keep his distance. Almost as though sensing his padawan's feelings, Alex remained where he stood, his face full of kindness and concern.

    "Meri, why don't you lay down for awhile?" he suggested quietly. "Let me show you your room," he said, turning to walk down a short hall.

    The room looked exactly like her old room, except the bed and desk were switched around. Something else was different to her too. Unlike her old room, this one felt empty and cold. Dropping her things by the bed, she sank down onto the soft mattress, her whole body crying for sleep.

    Darting a glance towards the doorway, she saw the tall Knight still watching her.

    At her glance he smiled, then turned and walked back down the hall.

    Meri sighed and curled up on her side, pulling the soft blanket up to cover her. As tired as she was, her thoughts still danced wildly in her head. She was angry with herself for crying so much that day. This was a situation she was going to have to put up with, and crying wouldn't help any. And it hurt worse to cry. If she bottled it all up then it didn't hurt as bad. She didn't have to feel anything, didn't want to feel anything ever again, but then every time someone even looked at her she felt like crying. Meri gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut tightly. //You won't cry again. You won't let your new...Master see you cry again!// she commanded herself.

    The image of laughing hazel eyes flashed in her mind and Meri choked back a sob. //Why! Why did you have to leave me Master? What did I do to deserve this?// she pleaded silently.

    Eventually the tormented padawan drifted off to sleep, but when the Master stepped in silently to check on his new apprentice, he found damp tracks of tears trailing down her face. A sad smile came to the new Jedi Master?s lips as he saw for the first time the sweet look on his padawan?s face. A face only peaceful in her sleep.
     
  14. imzadi

    imzadi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Wow! Excellent post! I really like their reactions to each other. You're really building a good framework. I can't wait to see what happens next!

    Congratulations on your exam, or lack there of!
     
  15. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    Oh thank you for sending us more! :D I'll be watching your other story!

    Oh these two have a long way to go, and I like how Meri is resolving to keep going (but we know Alex will have a fight getting her to open up).
     
  16. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Okay, here's another one. Please, feedback guys?

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


    Later that evening, when Alex asked his quiet apprentice if she was ready for dinner he received a half-hearted nod at best.

    "Well, lets go then," he said as he shrugged on his robe.

    "Go?!"

    A note that almost sounded like panic in her voice caused Alex to quickly turn and face the young girl. "Yes, I'm afraid I'm not much of a cook," he admitted sheepishly. His next words did nothing to calm his worried apprentice. "I always eat in the dining hall."

    "I--I uh, I'm not hungry." His padawan almost whispered the words, and her face had gone pale as a sheet.

    He knew what she was doing, and he also knew this was something she was going to have to face. She was afraid those she knew would ask her questions about what had happened. Alex, however, knew everyone already understood what had occurred, and if anything, would more likely avoid his padawan because they didn't know what to say. Glancing at his apprentice's thin form, he shook his head. "You have to eat, Meri. Now come along."

    She wavered before him, and he quickly reached out an arm to steady her. "Please," she whispered softly, looking up at him, her face stricken and brown eyes wide.

    Alex felt his heart clench in his chest, and felt like a brute for forcing her. //Force, what am I supposed to do.// He looked down at her for a moment before sighing. He knew what he had to do, no matter how hard. //Stay the course, Alex, stay the course,// he told himself. "It'll be okay, Meri. Trust me."

    She didn't reply, but only looked at the floor as she bit her lip.

    //We have a long way to go to even get to an understanding, much less trust,// he thought as he watched her withdraw even further, if that was possible.


    Alex kept shooting worried glances at his subdued apprentice as they walked towards the dining hall. He wondered if he was doing the right thing, or if he was pushing her too far.

    At the door to the dining hall, Meri paused, and Alex turned and waited for her. With her head down, she slowly made her way to his side.

    Their dinner was silent and Meri only picked at her food, pushing it more around the plate then putting it in her mouth.
    As he had suspected no one bothered them besides a few quiet greetings, and they made it back to they quarters without any further ordeals.

    That night Alex fell into bed finding himself strangely weary. Sprawled on the bed, he rubbed his face slowly. "Force help me," he murmured. If he'd known what was going to happen later that night he would have realized just how much he meant that statement.
     
  17. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    Oh no! Please don't stop there like that!!!

    No matter how short, its always splendid, JKOW!! I love this story! :D
     
  18. imzadi

    imzadi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    What's going to happen later that night?! Ooh, intriguing!

    Alex's thoughts in this one really show how caring he is, but also how he is still unsure. The comment about trust was a great touch. They do still need to come to an understanding, but hopefully that will be soon. Great post, I really enjoyed it! Thanks for posting again so soon!

     
  19. Healer Apprentice Lina

    Healer Apprentice Lina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2000
    Two very good posts, JKOW.
    I like how you're slowly developing Meri's relationship with Alex. It's very realistically written and very painful.
     
  20. Berit_Aysen

    Berit_Aysen Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2000
    dont stop there!!! *gets on her knees and begs* i wanna know whats gonna happen later that night!

    great post as always!
     
  21. Calamity Jinn

    Calamity Jinn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 23, 2000

    Loved the posts JKOW! It's good to see how Alex is trying to decide what to do and how to handle each situation. Meri's pain is easily felt through your writing.

    And good news about the exam!
     
  22. jodiwent

    jodiwent Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    You're
    leaving
    it
    THERE!
     
  23. juwannajedi

    juwannajedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!?!?!?!?
     
  24. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Excellent posts JWOK!

    //What did I do to deserve this?// , that line just broke my heart.

    You are such a tease with the ending of the last post!!! Fabulous job!!!
     
  25. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Heheh, Actually I didn't plan to leave it like that. It just happened. All my family decided they wanted to get on the comp yesterday night so no post. But its a good thing anyway. Gave me more time to think it through.

    Feedback please!!!!
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    The sound of terrified screams woke Alex in the early hours of the morning. Bolting straight up in bed, he was pulling on a robe and tripping towards the door before he'd formed a coherent thought. However, he hadn't remembered that he was in a new room, and though similar to his old one, the furniture in this new room was switched around.

    He'd gone no more than two or three feet when he jammed his whole foot into the pointed corner of the dresser. "Ohhh, Oh, sith!" he sputtered as pain flooded his senses. //You're a Master now Alex. Masters don't say sith,// his conscience informed him. "Yeah, well," he mumbled. Where was the Force a three A.M. in the morning? Grabbing his toe, he massaged it while hopping down the hall on one foot. The screams had abated by the time he stumbled in the doorway of his apprentice's room, but he heard her whimpering, and her gasping sobs. He'd forgotten she had dreams. He didn't know they would be like this.

    Gingerly he set his foot back onto the floor, then palmed the light switch as he limped passed it. Now that he was actually in the room with Meri, he could feel the absolute terror coming off her in waves. The slight girl had pulled herself into the corner of the bed and was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest. Her chin was tucked back behind her knees, and Alex couldn't see her face for the waves of unbraided hair that concealed it.

    "Meri? Are you okay?" He stood awkwardly beside the bed, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized how daft they sounded. Of course she wasn't okay. Not that she answered him anyway. She kept her head buried behind her knees as her gulping breaths slowed.

    Alex shifted his feet and absently lifted his hand to scratch a nonexistent itch on his head. He suddenly became aware that he had been sending waves of comfort through the Force and that she hadn't objected. He felt a small thrill of wonder at the progress, no matter how small, and curiously, he examined the thread-like bond that stretched between them. It was so delicate and seemed that at the slightest tempest could be torn asunder.

    To cut his height down, Alex knelt by the bed and tried again. "Meri, look at me, please?"

    Slowly his apprentice raised her head and glanced at him briefly before the brown eyes dropped. He didn't push the matter of her looking him in the eye. She'd been through enough tonight.

    "Do you want to tell me about it?"

    A firm shake of the head.

    "Are you sure?"

    Another shake of the head.

    Alex nodded. "Well then, if you come into the kitchen I'll fix us some tea. I *do* know how to fix that," his soft lilting voice was filled with dry amusement as he spoke the last part.

    At her hesitant look, he said. "It'll help you. My Master always used to give it to me when I was upset about something."
    He was relieved when she nodded and he stood carefully to his feet.
    "I'll go get it started then. Come in when you?re ready."

    Without waiting for the answer he knew he probably wouldn't get, he turned and with a slight limp walked out of the room. He could feel her eyes on him as he left, and as soon as he was in the kitchen, he inspected his foot. It had already turned a nasty black-blue color and the skin was scraped off for a good length. He sighed. At least it was only a bruise, and not something broken.

    Swiftly he set about making the tea, and just about the time the water was heated he heard the light steps of his apprentice coming into the room. When he turned around he found she'd already seated herself at the table and he set the cup of steaming tea in front of her before taking a seat opposite his padawan.

    For the next few moments the small room was silent, the only sound that of Coruscant?s busy night traffic. Alex found h