FF:VIC The Mandalore Dump!!!!!! with PoT and J.E.

Greetings fellow dumpsters!!! In the spirit of the venerable Roy and H.G., My compatriot Jet Eye and I, have decieded to stimulate some conversation in the Victorian Forum, which quite frankly, is getting boring...It's dying, if not dead. and its sad, because the younger set really do need a forum to thrust them into the wider Jedi Council community, and its really not there, its not there, the community screams for it to come here!! to be like the enigmatic EUC which blew me away!! totally blew me away!!!

It's like Sevens coverage of the Ashes cricket!!! blew me away!! the younger set really need to get into it, and i think the answer is of course gambling...
Chuck a few pokies and roulette tables in here and we'll be laughing!!! screaming at the top of our lungs!!! The thrills!!!
Ahh...quite frankly Victoria, I'm excited.



Unlocked as per Mixo's request.

 

for those who are bewildered by this different medium with which i convey my meaning, either get a good dose of monday nights on seven at 10:30 after the ashes, or simply go to this thread, which is where Jet Eye and I first thrased out such important issues in such an exciting new way!!!

http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=2901049

to quote an excited little fat man named Kev, I'm excited!!!!

 

Oh goody! New Thread!

*does a happy dance*

"I'm excited!" as quoted by Big Kev!

"MATE!"

Keep on posting!

 

good evening dumpsters!!! and what an exciting week it has been in Star Wars!! this last week has blown me away!!

blown me away you say? it's true, I'm excited!!
The reemergence of the Empire has began. For those loyal Australian sons of the Empire, who wish to show their loyalty, hotfoot it over to the Expanded Universe Community, and look on the front page, for 'The Imperial Navy'.
Just post your application to our navy and begin your ascent to greatness within the Imperial splendor of our glorious Empire!!
In a word?
EXCITED!!!

 

I already heeded the call and I am a Lieutenant-General of the Vindictive!

 

Yes, Good evening dumpsters. You've been hanging onto it all week and now, at last, you can let it out with confidence that Mandalore's sewarge can take your load! The People of Victoria are ready! Roy, it's been an exciting week to say the least, what have you been up to?

 

well, H.G., i have managed to join, defect and generally cause choas in the brewing civil war in the EUC. I'm excited?
excited you say?
well of course, it's becuase this war is getting the younger set interested.
and you no why H.G?
it's the market square, or more specifically it's gambling. and i think the kids gambling is great! think of the tax H.G.!

 

yes, war, personally, and quite frankly, i feel that we just don't get enough of war, because really, in the long term aspect of life, war really does set the younger set straight! It says, right, it's time to get disciplined, whether you like it or not. There's also that great gambling aspect of it as well because you're out there gambling with your life? Will i die today? Get a couple of mates together, figure out the odds. It's fun! It's exciting! it's bloody war! a verbal war, of course, cause Roy, quite frankly war is a horrible, horrible thing. But a verbal war, hell, that's bloody great! It invokes passion, a sense of self-eestem that i think the younger set need! Get involved - get verbal! Get passionate!

 

Orrhhh, look, i think we are all a bit excited by the prospect H.G.
The kids of today, whilst their not out boxing and getting up to the usual rouseabout terrorism, really have no focus. no aim. War gives that to them. they can look at it, have a think and say "Yes! I want join up! i wanna be TIE Pilot!"
"Or a Jedi?!!"
"Yes! or a Jedi!"
you see, with war, the possibilities, the oppurtunities for Aussie business, for aussie kids and the unemployed, to get out there and CONTRIBUTE something, it...well, it blew me away!! I was dissapointed H.G., i really was, to hear to devilish news going on in this war - that quite frankly, the younger set arent going to respect.
Zaarin...the traitor, the despicible, the ammoral scum...he has been exonerated by the Imperial Navy...this is ruining the war for kids!! they hate it! they were all gambling like good kids do, wondering how many years incasoration he would get, and BAM!! he gets off scot free!!
It got me mad!! i was so furious H.G., that i just got that compulsion - you know which one i mean - to just go out, and chop some wood!!!
Do you know the feeling H.G?

 

Hello, and welcome to rural and regional news of Australia. I am your host, Boba, the Helper Monkey.
In meetings today, Farmers of Australia made firm their stance that America's embargo on Australian exports is hurting the industry.
**FLASHES TO NEWS FOOTAGE**
random token farmer guy: America's embargo on Australian exports is hurting the industry.""
**back to studio**
hmmmmmm...a worry for sure. In other news, Eminem confirmed he would not perform in Albury-Wodonga, despite mounting local fans pressure. the tearful hopefuls say they all are confused and angered by the Rappers decision.
"**footage**
tearful adolescent: "we are all just confused and angry..."
**studio**
Rural schools are also on a high note this week, with the introduction of Laptop computing course, designed to familiarise the savage wild frontier people about such wonderous human innovations as the popsticle and lip gloss. Kids at the school where, understandably, excited and jubilant about the descision.
**footage**
Jet-Eye reporting: So Billy, as a representitive of our rural younger set, how does this new laptop program make you feel, are you excited?
snotty nosed farmer kid: not really...
**studio**
so there you have it viewers and dumpsters at large, as in closing for today, the national wool price index was stronger, with a kilo of wool buying $26.40.
The Rural Unemployment took a blow though, with figures for 25-40 year olds hitting 21%.
this is Boba the helper monkey, for Rural and regional Australian news, signing off...

 

Many of you out there know that Roy and myself are absolute woodchopping FREAKS, and well, looking at those bloody disatrous figures of unemployment, read out by the elusive Boba, a guest we're very honoured to have aboard the mandalore dump, do you reckon that if the government set their greedy ambitions aside and set up wood chopping clinics, the unemployment figures would fall considerably?

Cause bloody hell, we are living in a time when the nation needs wood choppers. Not long ago I was in the Buffalo Pine Forest, which i must say had a simply stunning set of pines ripe with life ready to be cut down (crazy tone), and i had a look at the choppers there, a burly, unrurly looking group of gentlemen, and they looked absolutely stuffed. We need wood! We need wood to be chopped down! So, if we were to go ahead with this wonderful idea of a woodchopping clinic, families of this naiton could go to their homes with confidence that there will be wood to chuck upon the fire, to keep them warm, and most of all, to keep them excited! Those woodchoppers out there in the Buffalo Pine Forest are especially important, because they are the mentors of the next generation. They need a break! They're buggered! Like Jim Waley! So come on Australia, ring up your local woodchopper and ask for his advice cause quite frankly you just don't get enough raw experience like your local woodchopper anymore.

Wood! I love it. It's great, it's entertaining, it's gets the bludgers of their arse (yes, arse, not ass, as some arseclowns out there like to say) and doing something that gonna achieve something! Get out there, get your axe, kids, get out your tomahawk, and start choppin'.

 

yesss...and i think all of Australia would do well to heed your call, H.G. Wood is a really understated commodity..can you understand the strife, the bloody pickle we would find ourselves in if this nation was devoid of woodchoppers? and instead of thinking down the path of our nations ultimate, PROSPERITY, H.G. we are mired in the primodial filth, advocated by those buffoons, those penultimate ARSECLOWNS up at parliament house, and look quite frankly, i think we all know what our federal adminstration needs..
get Bracksy up there! let him educate them in the subtle art of doing something whilst doing nothing, cause he in my mind is what a true Australian can aspire to, he gets the two fatso the fat arsed wombat's thumbs up!!

And whilst we are talking about the preverbial cellulite king, the battlers prince fatso, the wombat has come down from his ivory bloody tower, and has decreed this weeks 'Arseclown of the week!'.
And Fatso's decision is...
Admiral Zaarin, that bloody fishy KDY CEO, the o foulith smelling one!!
well thats all from me, what can you add H.G?

 

yes, um, for those of you who're new to the show, and i can tell you right bloody now that there are heaps of newys out there, fatso, or the battler's prince, is a wombat who's integrity and loyalty sets the standard for the struggling younger set! The battler's prince is the role model we don't have, an aussie battler prepared to give things a good hard go. He's not like that bloke Zaarin over at KDY, Fatso is an icon! An icon that, quite frankly, that Roy and myself live up to. What a wombat! What an arse! A big, fat arse that's confident, that's ready, that's australian and proud! And he loves his wood, i'll tell ya that!

But Roy, on a more serious note, the Victorian forum, "star walking" for the anorak, what can be done to create an atomosphere of passion and pride? Quite frankly I'm stumped at this one. Even that bumpy piece of land to our left, New Zealand, has greater 'membership'. I sometimes feel inclined to walk over to the corner and hit myself with a bat and say, "i'm a goose, I'm an arseclown, i'm in the victorian board." Don't get me wrong though, I love being a Victorian, it's great, it really is, but what can be done Roy? How can we outnumber those thieving New Zealanders?

 

i think there is only one answer for us here in the great state of V, H.G.
Socks.
I will create a fleet of them. led by the venerable news reader, BobaMyHelperMonkey.
he is an aussie icon. but talking of icons, i will create Fatso! the battlers prince can waltz on it the forum, and throw his weight around! it's great!
and whats more, it will get the kids involved, i guarantee it. they will love it! they look, see the battlers prince trying to help their young lives, they'll look up from the roulette table - and by the way i think its great how the younger set have really taken to gambling - and these kids, these kids H.G. will stand up and shout "right! thats it! i want to contribute, i want to represent my state! i want to log on, get registered and follow the battlers prince into the great state of origin forum war!
they will really become involved, and quite frankly H.G. the whole concept has got me..well, I'm excited!!

 

isn't the state of origin forum war going through the roof Roy, through the roof! The pictures are absolutely tremendous, but due to management constrictions we aren't able to show them to you.

But i must say that i love state of origin forum wars! That get the blood boiling, they look you in the eye and say, "get up, start typin' and do your state proud."

Actually...you'd think that, after all this debate about the intensity of being proud and passionate, we're all just a little prided and passioned out? I think that all the excitement has overun the circuts in our origin counterparts, and has left us rather confused...perhaps we don't get enough sleep, i'm not sure, but hell, i reckon the younger set are just stuffed. All that wood chopping has worn them down. The answer is obvious: drugs.

It's a risky topic, i know, but with a bit of care, we can get the younger set back on their feet. To u young folk out there - be confident, be brave! Drugs! It's the way to go!

(who thinks we r going to far? well, hell, gambling destroys families, and we seem to be promoting that...what's wrong with a little bit of steriods...angry? Sue me! I don't care, I'm excited! that's all that counts.)

 

Your excited? that's great.
sueing people! now isn't that a direction this country can take! in the style of our chronically stupid brethen from the states, we can begin a lawsuit FRENZY! because as some of the viewers may know, you and i are lawsuit FREAKs from way back, you know when were not pumped up on the ol' roids chopping some wood, or getting just passionate about our state, we are sueing people. i think it's great. its a direction the younger set are asking for, they're reaching out in desperation for the chance to sue someone, ANYONE, so they can get the money to use in the casino! it all goes full circle, everyones happy! and if they're not, they can always, well, just go and chop some wood!
One a new note H.G. we - that is you and I - love to here from our viewers...so why don't we look at some of the contributions to our great show by the viewers.
(SUBTLE HINT FOR OTHERS TO POST SOME THOUGHTS IN THIS THREAD - Roy and H.G. style or otherwise, we want to hear from YOU!!!)

 

Yes, Good evening dumpsters for yet another exciting week of space buckaneering, of venturing into the unknown, of releasing a load, a load so overwhelming that quite frankly has the nation bloody stumped. Yes, you've been hanging out for it all week, and at last, you can let it out with confidence because the Mandalore sewarge can take your load! Roy, it's been an amazing week, an exciting week no doubt for many passionate Victorians out there, what have you been up to?

 

well J.E. i have spent my time holding the pulse of the state, and quite frankly J.E. its gone a bit bloody erratic of late.
Bracksy, gwaaaa..i love his hair, But in all seriousness dumpsters, Bracksy has laid the smack down on us Vics. tells us we must have shorter showers! can you believe it? what will the Victorian people say to such an outrage???
quite frankly i'm shocked, and my reaction (hefts a cricket stump to screen and starts speaking in a menacing tone) is to tell those theiving pathetic bludgers! who are stealing water for their own arcane purposes, to get a life, get out, take up boxing for godsake, and free up our states water for those who need it.
and who needs it you say?
quite obviously J.E. its the younger set. after a good days of gambling, they just need to let all that frustration out and go and chop some wood. and...god...i have that urge again, to just go and chop some wood, but anyway the younger set have just been chopping some wood, covered in the glory of woodchips and sawdust, and they need a bloody fair dinkum shower.
and is it not their god given right? dont they have more of a need then those self-induldgent, decadent snobs, who just wont to set around on their proverbial, getting fat of the creme from the top of our nations cake?
whats your take on it all J.E? i just need to aid this urge and go chop some wood, be back with you in a minute.

 

<P.o.T chopping wood furiously in the background>

(J.E shouting yes, it's understandable that there is such an overwhelming urge to chop wood - we're frustrated that the younger set are not grasping this idea that work means passion and pride, two factors, that i, quite frankly, believe are bloody important in order for this nation to achieve success, a success that will set up younger sets to come, which no doubt is bloody well important. Long term thinking: i love it, what an approach to life!

but isn't what bracksy is doing for the state something to be proud of? sure, he's saying to us Vics to take shorter showers but what a thinker - it gives us more time to get out there and head down to the casino, to gamble our fortunes, small or big, away and enjoy ourselves! having shorter showers is a brilliant use of time management isn't it Roy? Bloody hell, now the younger set can actually get out to the races and be on time to see their horse race! I love it! Shorter showers! It's great, it's quick, it's, well it's exciting in the broad context of things, isn't it Roy?

<a rather exhaused Roy returns to the almighty desk, littered with papers of some sort, a desk which we might add is made of the finest timber this nation has to offer: red gum. juicy, stimulating stuff, definitely, it is the talk of the town to be sure!>

wow! i love it, i think it's great, i really do! well, Roy, r u feeling replenished?

 

well! quite frankly J.E, that was great. i feel replenished. i feel great, and i would like to apologise to all those fat arsed bludgers out there, i realise i got a bit narky a few minutes ago, but its just my pride in the younger set - those great little gambling, wood-chopping boxers! - and the way they are prepared, to get up, and get out, and FIX OUR BLOODY STATE, J.E!
**hefts cricket stump to the screen once more, envoking the meancing tone** I want all those kids to find those bludgers, and give them a kick up their preverbial posterior, and get them into gear! aprentice them as wood-choppers, teach them to box, get them INVOLVED!
gwaaa.....quite frankly, I'm excited. Excited about everything, excited about it all...except for those bludgers bringing down the state!
On a lighter note, what about Alexander Downer? bloody strapping dumpster, he is getting into trouble for - wait for it- blowing kisses at another member of parliament and making suggestive hand movements!
why would he be doing this? quite obviously HE is getting a little excited himself, and was motioning for a little bit of woodchopping, trying to see if anyone else was interested in joining him for a little social chop!!
your take J.E?

 

well! quite frankly J.E, that was great. i feel replenished. i feel great, and i would like to apologise to all those fat arsed bludgers out there, i realise i got a bit narky a few minutes ago, but its just my pride in the younger set - those great little gambling, wood-chopping boxers! - and the way they are prepared, to get up, and get out, and FIX OUR BLOODY STATE, J.E!
**hefts cricket stump to the screen once more, envoking the meancing tone** I want all those kids to find those bludgers, and give them a kick up their preverbial posterior, and get them into gear! aprentice them as wood-choppers, teach them to box, get them INVOLVED!
gwaaa.....quite frankly, I'm excited. Excited about everything, excited about it all...except for those bludgers bringing down the state!
On a lighter note, what about Alexander Downer? bloody strapping dumpster, he is getting into trouble for - wait for it- blowing kisses at another member of parliament and making suggestive hand movements!
why would he be doing this? quite obviously HE is getting a little excited himself, and was motioning for a little bit of woodchopping, trying to see if anyone else was interested in joining him for a little social chop!!
your take J.E?

 

P.o.T, it's come to my attention that good 'ole Alex is actually in league with the likes of David Forster, a superb tremendous bloke, no doubt you young woodchoppers out there have that big fat arse of his up on your bedroom wall, who is a role model to us all. yes, alex happened to be down in Tas in an effort to keep in touch with our neighbours, and was reminescing with Dave. Now isn't that great P.o.T? Finally, that little bit of land down there, the birthplace of woodchoppin', god bless them, has caught the attention of the nation. The best part of all however is that it comes down to a meeting of two bloody good mates who couldn't give a stuff about the serious issues - all they wanna do is get out there, have a chop, share a joke, and get right bloody excited. Whoever said that foreign affairs were boring? Jesus, just have a look at the bond between Downsy and Dave, and you feel proud, you feel passionate about your nation.

 

Bloody bonding, it's great. i think, we all need a bit of bonding with another victorian every once in a while! in fact, i think we need to get bracksy, dave and alex together, hook 'em up with George L, and get them all to bond!
and speaking of the George himself, hasn't he been rocking our world? bloody stirring name i say, Attack of the clones! it's great!
it got my blood pumping, i said great! send the bludgers in! time for a bit of boxing! and i think it is time for bit of boxing, get the younger set to put into place those terrific boxing skills they now have! get them envolved! it's just bloody fantastic!
and then the clones and the kids can get out into those pristine pine plantations we all have growing, and they can work together to chop em all down! make some nice benches! i say anything above this height **uses cricket stump to emphatically point to position foot of the ground** gets cut down, and turned into quality timber chairs and benchs and what have you!!!
now come to think about it, this stump is really quite a fine piece of quality timber, red oak i presume...
oh and another thing J.E, i say we get these clones to use the money they make selling the quality timber products - which the nation really does appreciate - in the casino.
gambling. the money goes back into education, the kids grow up, chop more wood, create bigger and better clones, and chop more wood...gwaaa..the excitement, i cant control it!!!
bloody hell, you take over!!!
**runs off brandishing cricket stump at poster for Attack of the Clones, yelling obscene insults at the clones such as "kriffing bring it the sith on you bloody arseclowns!!!!....."

 

Well, in one word I'd have to say that P.o.T is, bloody hell, you'll love this one: excited.

Which is great, i support it with a great deal of confidence. Hell, i'm even at a stage where i feel like handing out confidence i'm that bloody confident. Not to mention proud, don't you worry!

<P.o.T expresses his delight in finding poster, starts doing jawa wood dance>

It's come to my attention that there have been signs of a recent chop off in the EU which just goes to show that people out there in the Council are excited, they've got their axes and are chopping down things above anything because they're so passionate and proud of what they're doing! Yes! Woodchopping! The Forster brothers! Tasmania! I love it. P.o.T, you're back...what's that you're wearing? It looks like something you'd find out in the jundland wastes!

 

well, J.E., the viewers may not realise, that you and i are naturalistic FREAKS from way back, and well, this is a one hundred percent pure attack of the clones poster shirt, with some quality red oak pants...

i love it! in fact i want all of Australia to wear this sort of clothing! remember, if it is higher then this **thrusts cricket stump at point one foot off ground again** then it gets cut down!

on a lighter note, i have just been off speaking to the nice chaps in the british isle, WHO, it just so happens, are also wood chopping FREAKS! we need to pick up our act and compete with them! come on victoria, come on AUSTRALIA, PICK UP YOUR ACT, GET OUT, GET CHOPPING, GET EXCITED!!!

whew...sometimes the urge is too much J.E....your take on the week in SW, Woodchopping and life in general?