The Other Woman -- one-post, Ani/Vader angst

Just because I left you doesn't mean that I love you any less.

It simply means I love another more.

Perhaps love is not the right word. It doesn?t begin to describe these feelings. Obsession, maybe. Or addiction. It?s a rush unlike anything I?ve ever known. Better than drink, better than spice, even better than sex.

The Dark Side is my mistress. She is powerful. Demanding.

It started innocently enough. Some flirting here, a light touch there. I was drawn in before I knew it. Lured by her siren song, one that spoke of a power beyond any I had ever imagined. She was so quick, so easy. Always there when I needed her.

Before long, those brief encounters were not enough. The more I touched the Dark Side, the more I longed for her cold embrace. She whispered to me at all hours, beckoning me to join her, to immerse myself within her fully. I gave in to that call. The feeling of all that power resonating through my body is the closest thing to pure ecstasy I?ve ever experienced. With it, I can do anything. Be anything.

And to think that this began with a simple desire: to make myself more worthy of you. I saw the things and the opportunities you missed; I saw everything you gave up to be with me. I didn?t want you to think you had made a mistake. I thought that being more powerful would make me more deserving of you. I thought that you would love me more. I was wrong. In seeking to become more deserving of your love, I have become someone to be despised. I?ve destroyed everything.

I know I don?t deserve you, but I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. Every day apart from you, from your Light, causes another part of me to wither and die. More than anything, I just want to be with you. I want to see your smile. I want to hear your laugh. I want to breathe in your perfume. I want to bask in your Light and feel alive again.

The Dark Side, however, is a jealous mistress. I had to choose. In the end, her seductive melody was too much to resist. Being with you allowed the Light in, and I could not fully embrace her beautiful, terrible potential. So I had to leave. But my soul remains with you, and I stand here an empty shell of a man.

But even now, there is untapped power that I cannot reach, and it is your fault. No matter how vile my emotions, or how depraved my acts, part of you remains with me. There is a small flicker of light, your Light, deep within me that I cannot extinguish. And for that, my mistress holds herself back from me, depriving me of absolute mastery over her.

In spite of my mistress, you?re all I think about. When I lie awake at night, that flicker of Light burns brighter as I recall the warmth of your arms, the softness of your body, and the depth of your love. A love that demanded nothing, except to be returned. In seeking to give you more, I lost you. I lost everything I had. Including myself.

So now, when I lie awake missing you, I seek solace in the embrace of my Other Woman. But hers is a cold, cold comfort.

 

That was creepy, angsty, tragic, I wish I'd had it for ATWP, I told you you should write more!

 

::jaw hits floor::

O... M... G....

That was AWESOME, Lothi!!! I'm... I'm speechless... I really don't know how to express my feelings in words, but this vignette is one of the best I've ever read.

But my soul remains with you, and I stand here an empty shell of a man. -- this is my favorite line, it completely captures Anakin/Vader's psychic state...

Fabulous work, Lothi!

 

Darn, Ish, you beat me... it always happens to me...

 

But Mar, I am THE ISH. Of course I'll beat you. :0)

 

Good job, DarthLothi. And I think it accurately describes what Vader is feeling.

 

Well, well, Big Brother, I actually get to read one of your fics!

Very dark, very chilling overall.

I loved it

 

Very dark, but very well scripted! Wonderful post Lothi. You really captured Vader himself in that post.

 

Thanks, Ish and Mar and a_g and Sara and Sis!

It certainly fits my humor at the moment.

 

Well I have to say it is one powerful viginette there, and very well written. Excellent work Your Lothiness

 

In light of something else you said to me, this has literally brought me to tears.

Congratulations, big brother. You've made me actually cry at a piece of fiction for the first time in my life.

 

Very tragic and beautiful Lothi! You wrote it so well, there were a full lines in there that had my eyes glued to the screen.

Am

 

Well, the only fanfic that made me cry was a short vignette by Ish (Leia's thoughts after Anakin's death - forgot the title... SORRY!). SYS was very close, as was this.

Hmm, where's the rest of the Seraglio?

 

I'm sorry, hon, I have no words...

 

Yes, Ish's one-poster brought me to tears too, Mar. This one is definitely up there on my "make me cry" list, along with All the Wrong Places, Anna & the King, Star by Star Gladiator, and Pay It Foward.

 

That was so good Lothi! You should write more. That was very chilling and dark, but in the end I got sense of his longing for Padme.

He missed her.

 

I'm not sure all these people should be "woohooed" at for the tears shed, but let me say it anyway. WOOHOO!

 

I second... WOOHOO!!!

 

Whoa, Lothi!

That was intense. You captured him very well.

 

Here's an idea for a one-poster, in response to this. The Other Man by Padme, talking about 1) Anakin's enslavement to Palpatine and 2) the man Anakin became when he fell to the Dark Side.

 

Thanks, Luney and Am and TJG. I will try to finish the other things I've started.

wow, Mely, I made someone cry? Well, you're not the only one...

Maybe I can find someone to write that one, Ish.



I understand, Loreley. The only words I have left are "I'm sorry."

 

Sounds like a step in the right direction, Lothi.


Ish, I might take a crack at that bunny.

 

I wish you would; I certainly can't.

 

Awesome! Love the metaphor. Write something else! Now! No excuses!

 

Oh, i just read this and WOW is all i have to say... you made me cry...anyone, i need tissues ...



hugs
Micha