The PUB #2040AD: Granny CaSS's 70th Birthday Partay

*the Captains ghost floats in*

'lo All ... 2040 ... I think i'm about 10 years dead now . Woo !

 

Granny Cass can I hae a bit o birfday cake?

 

//shivers//

does anybody else feel a presence in the room?

 

Sure you can love. You want to come and sit on Granny's knee?

//sensing presence...

woooooooo...

 

Capt! I know what you've got for christmas!

I've felt your presence!


thankyou! thankyou! I'm here til thursday!

//waves

 

not even worth wasting rotten veges for.

//gets up and walks out in disgust.

 

jumps up on granny's knee

Tell me old stories about daddy grandma

 

I dont know so much about your Daddy, love, but I can tell you a story about your grandad.

Once upon a time, all of us here met at mines and Grandpa Jon's house. We had a big party with jelly and ice cream and fizzy pop. A bit like the birthday party you had a wee while ago.

Well...your Grandpa Andy...he was a silly man. He got absolutely rat ar- ... um... he had too much jelly and was feeling sick. So, he went to the toilet and can you guess what happened?

He dropped his phone down the toilet.

//shouting to the rest of them...

Do yous remember that?

It was so long ago.

 

Hahahaha what a silly man. I wish he hadn't smoked himself to an early grave

 

//cough... cough...

And it's something the silly arse has been doing on a regular basis ever since!

 

The only pressence that I have felt is that of OAC's hand woundering up my leg...

 

Granny, why is that grandpa chet touching unca paul's leg? Is it itchy?

 

What?

I thought he stopped being "bi" years ago...after the operation.

 

Do you like what I'm doing Paul? Your wife did.

 

What's "bi" granny? Does that mean he likes riding a bike?

 

Picks up Jons walking stick and whacks OAC out cold- I dont think so matey...

 

(Paul...this isnt real life...)

Yes dear...it means he likes riding a bike

 

OWWWW, what was that for?

 

Oh well I'm bi to then - I can do it without stabilisers too!

 

Bi Oac- He rides anything- they used to call him the village bike...

 

LOl, I do anything to promote a greener environment.

 

//shouting

TUPPERWARE...!!!

See if that'll wake Alpha up.

 

Thinks about Sexual Inuendo and Swear Words that would make Alpha die from his dicky Heart...

 

*the ghostly Capt. decides to throw stuff for a larf ...*

You , the UN says in 10 years , 2050 , earth will have no fresh water .. not my problem , i'm dead .

 

Is that you mentalist?