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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

The return of the feedback junkies: Version 2.0

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by DarthBreezy, Jul 17, 2003.

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  1. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    This was once a very popular thread but I think it got a bit overwhelmed so here we go again!

    This thread is ment to be a lighthearted confesional for those who admit the we thrive on feedback.

    Some ground rules:

    1) Keep it light... depressing post about how you might think your story is bad because 'no one post' can be counter productive.

    2) You can post a TEASER (ie one to four lines) but no massive paragrahps... they're hard to read.

    3) There is no 'age' limit... August of 03 is just as welcome as August of 99.

    4) No "I'll read yours if you read mine"... Blackmail is prohibited... Bribes such as brownies and chocolates are cool!

    5) Links are welcome.

    6) Links to other support threads (Ie newbie support circles, less popular genere's, OC ect) are welcome.

    7) You MUST start your first post with "Hello, my name is ******, and I am a feedback Junkie!"


    Have fun!!
     
  2. Spike2002

    Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 4, 2002
    Hello, my name is Spike2002, and I am a feedback Junkie.

    Admittedly, I have plenty of feedback from people, but I am always desperate for more.

    Here's an excerpt from The Beginning of the End, linked in my signature here.

    ---------------------------------------------

    Obi-Wan Skywalker entered the docking bay where the beleaguered shuttle was taking sustained hits from the antiquated E-webs the N?Rall were operating. To his left, were a squad of six of them. Jumping into the fray, six swipes later and all of them were lain at his feet.
    ?Come on,? he breathed eagerly.
    His summons was answered swiftly.
    Two snarling N?Rall rose up to meet him, brandishing vicious Arakyd vibro-swords. Swinging them at him, he ducked and dodged their swipes, not even bothering to retaliate. Through the Force he could sense his little sister directing the minds of the gunners on the shuttle.
    ?Just a few more seconds.?
    Now!
     
  3. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Hello, my name is Darth Breezy, and I am a feedback junkie...

    I have a current ficcy called "While you were Out" (link is either in my sig or my profile) that is my first real AU story where Anakin doesn't go bad and OPee-Wan (a baby Luke has dubbed him) is playing a wonderfuly funny straight man to baby Luke.

    I've been very lucky to get a lot of great feedback and enjoy the fact that it's making people laugh!

    Teaser:

    Obi-Wan set the squirming infant down on the counter and began the process of undressing him with Luke giggling and cooing all the while. He took a piece of cloth like towel and ran it under a bit of warm water and proceeded to wash the boy?s body. The instant the warm cloth touch his bottom, Luke let out another happy cry. Suddenly, Obi-Wan realized that there were worse things than a bit of food being splattered all over his robes.
     
  4. Darth_Leia_6669

    Darth_Leia_6669 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2003
    Hi, my name is Darth Leia 6669, And I am a feedback junkie...

    I have discovered that the feedback keeps me from giving up on my fic (to this point, at least! :D) Link to my story, Shards of the Heart, is in my sig. It's an AU version of events after Anakin's turn.


    The cold water she splashed upon her face did nothing to dissipate her shock. Half a day later the shock remained with her, totally enveloping her in the numbness. Several flashes from the earlier battle continued to haunt her. Anakin searching for her. Mace stepping forward to buy them some time for escape. When Mace refused to give her location, Anakin struck him down without a second thought. Rage turning towards Obi-Wan as he tried to reason with the insanity before him. Nearly being struck down himself. Anakin mysteriously collasping, the only reason they had escaped.



    --later--
     
  5. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Hi, my name is dianethx and I am definitely a feedback junkie!

    I have a small loyal fanbase but am always looking for more readers.

    I am currently writing my longest fic ever (Betrayal). The link is in my signature.

    Here's a teaser - sorry, it's so long...but they are really short sentences...

    "I'm sorry, Master. I'm a coward...such a coward." Obi-Wan's whispers were almost imperceptible but sharp with pain. "I tried, truly I did. Pulled every string I could to find out where you were. With no success. Then I got caught. Defied them as only you could, Master." An anguished grimace flitted over his face and then he looked down, unable to bear Qui-Gon's questions. "Defied them at first and then I got sneaky. But it didn't matter. They found out anyway and each time it happened, the....punishments got worse."
     
  6. Fate

    Fate Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2003
    Hi, my name is Fate (Destiny at the Archive), and I am a feedback junkie...

    I have yet to have anything of mine archived ? an unfortunate fact that will hopefully be remedied in the near future [face_mischief] - and I?ve recently posted my first fanfic on the boards. I?m in the process of writing my first ?real? ? as in non-angsty, third-person, more-than-a-lonely-moment-in-time, different-points-of-view ? fanfic; when it?s done, I know it?s going to be incredible. *sighs* But getting there? :(

    Anyway, without further ado?

    Even as a hoarse scream of pain and fury escapes my lips to reverberate across the empty desert, another tremor is born in my shoulder, and it will not be silenced. Instead, it makes its electric way down my forearm, across my elbow, and into my fist.

    Fists.

    Instead of being calmly linked behind me, my hands are now tense coils at my sides. It is well that I am alone. I resign myself to the familiar emotions and force myself to remember how I held her limp body to me as she took her last shuddering breath.


    Like what you see? Check out [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=12363424&replies=15]Introspection[/link] ? and bring your friends! [face_mischief]

    *hands everyone Hershey?s kisses* [face_devil]
     
  7. lordmaul13

    lordmaul13 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 18, 2000
    Hello, my name is lordmaul13 and I am a feedback junkie...

    I don't have a story going right now. This is from a repost to the new boards called: [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=12364488&start=12387361]Operation Darkside[/link]

    Anakin entered the garden and sat down on a bench near, but not next to, Yoda?s. His comlink, which was easily as large as Yoda, chirped. He picked it up and screamed into it, jerking Yoda right out of his meditation, ?HELLO! WHAT? NO, I?M IN THE GARDEN. THE GARDEN. NO I HATE IT. IT?S JUST A BUNCH OF TREES AND STUFF. YEAH! BYE!? He signed off and left the garden.

    ?Padawans these days,? Yoda mumbled. ?No sense have they.?


    And I had to put in this part too, because it's my fav.

    A six-foot tall squirrel, obviously someone in a squirrel suit, ran up to Yoda. It looked at him, picked him up, threw him in a bush and ran off.

    lordmaul13
     
  8. LianaMara

    LianaMara Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 2000
    Hi, my name is LianaMara and I am a feedback junkie!

    I adore feedback, but would always love more. My current story is [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=7451342&replies=0]Juliene (NJO, Kyp/OC)[/link], which narrates the adventures of Kyp and his Dozen while everyone else was having fun in Balance Point. The main character is a flaky Adumari girl, so it splits Jedi action with slapstick humor.

    Teaser:

    Pulling an acceptable outfit from the closet, Jule marched to the fresher and quickly turned on the shower. The men were most certainly hiding something from her. The REAL reason she couldn?t tag along with them at the spacedocks was because they thought she was too fragile and puerile. Bleeding imbeciles! She was much smarter than the average organism on the street, and had read 15 classical novels to prove it. They?d been an excruciatingly dull read, and she hadn't understood most of the ideas and themes, but she?d doggedly finished every one of them. Kyle Katarn and Kyp Durron wouldn?t be able to boast that they?d read Molière or Pauvrété. No, graduates of Luke Skywalker?s Jedi Academy instead focused on easier courses of study.
     
  9. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Hello, I'm anakin_girl and I'm a feedback junkie.

    A link to my in-progress story, "The Anakin Skywalker Diaries," a humorous AU, can be found in my bio.

    Here's a teaser.

    New commandment for the Jedi Code: Do not attempt to drive or operate heavy machinery while listening to Master Windu or Master Mundi talk.

    I?ve barely heard a word either of them have said since five minutes after our arrival. I?ve been too busy trying to stifle yawns. Especially since I only had time to down one cup of caf before Master Obi-Wan dragged me out the door by my braid.

    I bit down on my tongue, and then the inside of my cheek, to stifle another yawn. My mouth is going to be a bloody mess by the time this is over.

    I had only picked up bits and pieces of what our mission was supposed to be?something about Alderaan, a meeting of five planetary leaders, and said leaders wanting Jedi to observe.

    Observation. Great. I hope the caf is free-flowing on Alderaan.

    ?Padawan Skywalker!? Master Yoda rapped the floor with his gimer stick.

    ?Ummm?sir?? I said, blinking rapidly, trying to avoid showing how sleepy I was.

    ?Listening, you were not!?

    Dammit, you old troll, it?s early. And I?m not 900 years old. I don?t fall asleep during the Coruscant Evening News.

    ?Heard that, I did!? He rapped the floor with his stick again.

    Sithspit, I?m in trouble now. How do I get out of this one?

    ?Sorry, Master Yoda, sir. I just really need another cup of caf.?

    A couple of the Council Members snickered; the ones that actually have a sense of humor, that is. Which would not include Master Windu, Master Mundi, nor my own Master.

    ?Wrong answer, Padawan,? I heard Obi-Wan say under his breath, and I could already taste the soap in my mouth.

    ?Dismissed, you are,? Master Yoda said.

    ?And go get Padawan Skywalker another cup of caf,? Master Windu added, ?and you might want to review the details of your mission with him again afterwards.?
     
  10. JDH3

    JDH3 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Hello, My name is JDH3, and I am a feedback junkie.

    I tried the patch but sadly my arms are just too short. I couldn't fit enough of the blasted things on. Ok now for the teaser to my Clone Wars AU. Sorry but I can't get the blasted markup codes to work for me!(sith spit).




    Teaser for "What I know" This takes place in Jabba the Hutt's Mos Espa estate. Anakin has been captured searching for Obi-Wan and Saato is a female dark Jedi. The "boy" is a slave(age 7 or so) who will be punished for Anakin's lack of cooperation.


    ?I will kill you Saato! I will kill anyone who harms the boy! I will kill every last one of you if that boy dies, I swear it!!?

    Saato paused, her face had taken on a calm demeanor once more as ?she?? spoke. ?Yes my young apprentice, you will, in time you will kill them all.? With those words Saato or at least her body exited Anakin?s cell.


    Sorry if it's a bit long, but I couldn't really find something shorter that worked well.
     
  11. kristeh

    kristeh Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 24, 2003
    Hi, my name is Kristeh and I'm a feedback junkie. I'm pretty new at these boards and I've been lucky to get a few loyal readers, but I would love to have more.

    Here is an excerpt from my completed story, "Return to Naboo." It is a post RotJ-AU where Anakin (Skywalker) survives. He and his children are visiting Naboo and encounter a mysterious enemy. Here Anakin is speaking to himself after several attacks against the twins have occurred.

    //A Jedi knows no anger.// he reminded himself to no avail. How could he not be angry at someone trying to kill his son or his daughter? But his anger frightened him because he didn't know if he could deal with it appropriately. If he knew for certain who had programmed the battle droids to attack the twins or who had tossed Luke into the river like so much garbage, could he keep from striking out? He had promised himself he would never fall to the darkness again, but now he didn't trust himself. And if he did lash out at the attacker, was he doomed to becoming Darth Vader again?

    (Sorry it's so long, but I just couldn't break it up.) This may not be the best time for me to post. I'm going to be away on vacation for a few days, but I will try to read some of these great stories when I return.

    Kristeh
     
  12. Cam_Mulonus

    Cam_Mulonus Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 29, 2002
    Hello, May name is Cam_Mulonus, and I am a feedback junkie.

    This is an excerpt from my fic Resurgence of Chaos. I hope to draw you into my fic, because it blends an ensemble cast of both OCs and Canon characters...


    Cam?s face contorted as he spun around to face the man who stabbed his uncle in the chest. His brow was as low as was humanly possible. ?You don?t know what anger you?ve just awoken!!!?

    His twisted smile grew across his unshaven face. ?I?ve bested Zek Dredd, and now I shall kill a Mulonus. I shall be known throughout the galaxy by the simple events of one day.?

    Cam scowled. ?You seem to know about me, yet you are unfamiliar to me! Who are you!?

    The Sith, who stood several inches taller than Cam, gave him an intimidating glare. ?I am known as Furor. I am a member of the Sith. And my master has ordered me to kill you and your uncle. One down, one to go??

     
  13. female_obi_wan

    female_obi_wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 2002
    Hi, my name is f-o-w and I'm a feedback junkie. :D

    I've just started writing a new fic...but only one person has replied so far. I figured maybe more people would reply as the story got bigger, but here's a teaser anyway:

    "Well, strictly speaking you didn't have to be imprisoned in here," the Dreammaster said. "But it seemed a good idea. This world is formed by your Padawan's heart. You're in it....and we figured he'd be terribly lost without you."

    Guilt rose up in him like a tidal wave looking to drown someone. "Where is my Padawan?"

    "You see that tower?" the Dreammaster said. At first Qui-Gon couldn't, but when he strained his eyes a little he could see in the distace a tall building stretching into the sky -the sky was blue, red, yellow and black, why hadn't he noticed that before? -and it had no windows. He could only just make out the details of it, but he was sure that was true. It was black. Like it had been burnt in a fire. Like it had been set on fire on purpose and the people inside had been screaming and banging on the walls trying to escape but their screams had been lost in the night. He realised he didn't want to look at it for long.


    The link's in my sig. :)
     
  14. Queengodess

    Queengodess Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2000
    Greetings! My name is Kee a.k.a Queengoddess and I'm a feedbackjunkie - to say the very least.

    It would be wrong to say I write only for feedback, 'cause I truly enjoy writing - and writing about the characters in Star Wars that I love - but getting replies is always wonderful. I re-read and re-read them...*frowns* Now, didn't sound sad! *shrugs* Sith happens...

    And not only is feedback good for your ego (mine has long since outgrown the second Death Star by far) but it also great to make sure you keep writing. Sometimes, when I've worked on someething for a very long time I start to tire, and then never finish - and I hate not to finish things. But when the readers are there, you have to keep going - I can't imagine letting down the people who has read my fic for two years by suddenly stop posting.

    Small teaser:

    Without wasting another second on words, they started down the hallway the General had indicated, and followed it to the end where a single door lead to a stairway outdoors.

    Behind them, they could hear the footsteps of approaching stormtroopers.

    As they hurried down the stairs, Anakin gave Piett an appraising look. ?How did you know about this?? he asked.

    ?I did some research before we arrived here.?

    Anakin smiled widely. ?Piett, I could kiss you,? he stated.

    ?Well, perhaps when there is more time, my lord.?

    [face_love] Kee
     
  15. ladyrebelsw1983

    ladyrebelsw1983 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 25, 2002
    Hello, my name is Lady Rebel, and I am a feedback Junkie.

    This is my first fan fic posted on the theforce.net and my 5th over all, and I would like some suggestions and comments. I always try to respond to readers and appreciate them dropping by.

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=12448681&replies=0]Gone, But Not Forgotten[/link]
    Genre: vignette/poetry
    Summary: An Alderaanian reflects on Alderaan's destruction and the loss of those close to them.



     
  16. Gross-admiral_Thrawn

    Gross-admiral_Thrawn Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2003
    Hello, my name is Gross-admiral_Thrawn, and I am a feedback Junkie!
    I write for my own sake, but I publish for the readers and look forward to see their reviews ;) These are my first stories translated to English and I'd be very grateful if someone bothers to read them :)

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14092429]The Black Cell[/link]

    Genre: can't be defined precisely; one post
    Summary: what if you got into a place where sight is useless, caught in a tight square of black walls? What if you were offered a choice of life and death, betrayal and loyalty? What if there are two of you, not trusting each other, not knowing, who is who in this maze of truth and lie?
    This is a short, dark story about ordinary people caught in a trap with their own thoughts and beliefs, and each reader makes a choice for himself.

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14271471]Crossing the Frontline[/link]

    Genre: can't be defined precisely; one post
    Summary: something strange is happening. Two minds, two bodies, two perceptions of the Galaxy are about to cross the front line, with disastrous consequences. Who are they - brothers? Or just people with minds alike? Or, maybe, it's the unifying war? They will never know.
     
  17. Calandria

    Calandria Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2003
    Hi My name is Cala and I'm a feedback junky

    I'm blessed with a handful of loyal readers... but would it help me to get more if I said I got a plate of choco chip cookies hidden somewhere in my thread :D

    extract from [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/14261817/?16]Zetram[/link]

    ?Jedi Skywalker, what need have you of a mere construction worker?? With a small smile Luke Skywalker turned to face the bureaucrat.

    ?Humor me.?

    ?Well, alright. But how will this help you solve the mystery?? With an enigmatic smile, the Jedi turned away and strode out of the arrival hall of the port. Isella just followed meekly. If the off-worlder wanted to deal with her, who was she to refuse?
     
  18. spiritgurl

    spiritgurl Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2003
    Hello, my name is Liz, and I am a feedback Junkie. :p

    I have been pleased with the feedback I have gotten so far on my story [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/12861747/p1]Coruscant Girl[/link] and how many people have been responding to my posts (though not a lot, I think it's pretty good considering I'm a fairly new author to these boards)

    I should confess though, each time I post a chapter I go through the whole... "oh, I hope they don't think it's crap!" thing and then if people don't respond very quickly I get a little nervous like "oh, no! They must think it's crap!" lol I'm happy to say that 12 Chapters in no one has posted anything like that and responses have been very good thus far. :D

    The story is an Obi-Wan/OC Romance fic with some action, humor, angst and mystery thrown in. I plan on making it a series that will follow Obi-Wan and my OC Nahlia from pre Phantom Menace to post Episode III.

    sg
     
  19. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Hi I'm Layren and I'm a huge feedback junkie :D That's not the sole reason I write of course but it most definetely helps :D *offers chocolate to everyone*
    This story of mine Repercussions has been my brainchild for several years now but only last year did I start writing it with Greencat336. It's in the Before the Saga forum and it's my very first star wars novel :D Enjoy!!!


    Edit -- It's been a long time in coming but this story is now completed!!! Happy Reading!!! [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/14474860/?329] Repercussions [/link] [face_dancing] Yay it's finished!

    Teaser



    Mace stared at his friend. "What?s bothering you? This has to do with Qui-Gon doesn't it?"

    "Are you asking as a Council member or my friend," demanded Kyran.

    Mace sighed. "As a friend, Kyran. I'm sure you wonder why he hasn't been by to see you in several days."

    "The thought had crossed my mind. He shoved his way into where he wasn't needed, now he's nowhere to be found. He can't even be bothered to com about Jayla's well being. I know that he was under guard for the first two days we were back, but now what is his excuse? Most likely off somewhere sulking or wallowing in guilt."

    Mace put a hand on Kyran's shoulder. "Kyran, Qui-Gon isn't here because of the Council's sentencing of his actions. He wanted very much to be here. He is confined to his quarters with no contact except for masters assigned to guide him in several hours of meditation a day. If he violates these orders he will be expelled from the Order."

    "Expelled from the Order?" repeated Kyran in a shocked whisper. He knew that Qui-Gon was due some heavy penance for his actions, but he never dreamed that Qui-Gon might be forced to leave the Order.

     
  20. Tekli_theInsane

    Tekli_theInsane Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 22, 2004
    Hello, my name is Tekli and I am a feedback junkie!

    Well, here are my stories...

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15331948/?9]Fixing a Broken Galaxy[/link]
    Summary: A Mara vignette, somewhat L/M-ish, a TUF AU... Mara thinks about Luke (wow, sounds so exciting 8-})
    Excerpt:
    What is it with Skywalkers and fixing things? Of course there?s the mechanical aspect (Vader always personally repaired his TIE ? did I ever tell you that?), but even Darth Vader ? I know you?re reprimanding me, you do still live somewhat ? Anakin Skywalker sacrificed himself in order to fix the galaxy he had broken. And you, Luke, you were even worse than your father. I can only imagine how Ben will turn out.

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=15379339&replies=0]Letting Go[/link]
    Summary: A pre-TPM OC vignette... a normal citizen's view of the Jedi
    Excerpt:
    Now I have to be mad at the stupid Jedi man and Mommy. Now my brother?s gone.

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/15526486/?7]A Lull in Pandemonium[/link]
    Summary: Around EpIII, Obi-Wan and Padme celebrate the twins birthday in advance (has been called an Obidala, but can be interpreted either way)
    Excerpt:
    ?What are you doing, milady?? Obi-Wan asked as politely as he could. She had a makeshift party hat tied around her chin, and a slice of cake, scrounged from a kitchen somewhere (he was surprised to find they still had resources for cake), lay half-eaten on a plate. Tears streamed silently down her cheeks as she sang to the twins.

    Fudge to all who read! :D
     
  21. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 1, 1999
    Hello. I'm Lilith Demodae, and I'm a feedback junkie. *shakes and trembles* S-sorry, but the DTs are killer.




    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/14453520/?161]Crash Course[/link]

    The wind of our passage howled around us, muffled by our helmets to a low shooshing sound. The smooth rumble of the finely tuned engine hummed though my legs to the rest of my body, and the faint scent of leather from my jacket collar clung to the inside of my helmet. Important or not, I wasn't going to let a little pressure keep me from enjoying the trip. There's just something about riding the back of a screaming wind, something about the feeling of sheer suicidal speed, that gets the heart beating and the blood racing. It always makes me feel alive and strong and free. Sloan taught me that, first told me about it in the last row of our history classroom. I didn't half believe him, not until he got me a ride behind his brother one day after school. For me there was no going back to normal life and safe speeds after that.

    So there I was, just loving the feel of being out and about and having a swoop between my legs. It was then that something caught my eye, an image reflected off the shiny back of Bulldog's helmet. My mind automatically adjusted for the distortion and adrenaline flooded my body at the unconscious recognition of the familiar shape.

    Cops.

    And they were tailing us though traffic.
     
  22. JalendaviLady

    JalendaviLady Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2002
    Hello, my name is JalendaviLady, and I am a feedback Junkie. I have caught myself endlessly pressing the reload button just in case one more review might suddenly appear.

    My current work in progress is [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15114788]Signs of Life[/link]. It's extremely AU, set just after ROTJ.

    [blockquote] Alarms sounded. People ran this way and that, looking for any way to get off the massive, doomed battle station. In a relatively undisturbed corner of the hangar, a young Jedi knelt, crying over the unnaturally quiet body of a no-longer-Dark Lord.

    After a moment, Luke looked up through his tears at his father?s still face. We never even touched, not without something between us. He tentatively reached up and caressed the top of Anakin?s head, lightly brushing the scar. His white skin was amazingly smooth and warmer than Luke had expected. It?s been five minutes. His body should already be cooling. The thought nearly sent Luke into a fresh burst of tears.

    Luke?s hand stopped and he gasped in shock. Somehow, a vein lying close to the skin at Anakin?s temple next to the scar still had a faint pulse. Father? he?s still alive. There?s a pulse. He held a hand close to Anakin?s mouth and could feel the air movements caused by his breathing?faint, but undeniably present. He?s alive. [/blockquote]
     
  23. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Jedi Grand Master star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Hello, my name is DarthIshtar and I'm a feedback junkie.

    I'm going to post a few teasers.

    1) The Ties that Bind: What would happen if Padme joined Vader? Padme is found in prison just before Episode IV and chooses to turn Anakin to the Light Side by reuniting their family, but it proves more difficult than any of them anticipated.

    In this teaser, Lord Vader tortures his daughter for the location of the Rebel base.

    Teaser: A low chuckle emitted from that mask. "I can see that you're becoming more cooperative."

    Her throat refused to cooperate, but her mind formed one word: Never.

    His hands raised to the binders and she looked away, not wanting to know what he had in mind.

    Instead, the bindings came free.

    What are you playing at?

    She tumbled forward into his arms, too exhausted to do anything more and he lifted her, carrying her back to the bed.

    Settling onto the edge, he cradled her against his chest while she flailed weakly, uselessly.

    Stop this.

    I can't allow him to be trusted.

    This, he, is not normal. He is incapable of compassion or love.

    "Your mother once thought as you did."

    Did it take this method of persuasion to break her as well.

    "You cannot expect that such defiance will go unpunished or unremedied."

    Nonononononononononononono...

    His gloved hand reached up to brush against a gash in her brow, left by the fire-knives. It was a surreal, almost tender gesture.

    Then his fingers dug into her skull, causing her to cry out, and she felt icy fingers of consciousness plunge into her mind, tearing at it, ripping everything he could find free.

    Focus. Focus on something.

    A rhyme, wrought from campfire spook stories and frenzied fear, came to mind instead.

    Can't even cry
    Can't say a word
    You'll die screaming
    But you won't be heard.

    Somehow, her mind pushed him back, beating at his sense as the information he sought languished behind hastily constructed barriers.

    Forget! her mind screamed at her. Forget you ever heard the name.

    "No," she was moaning, finally finding her voice. "No, father, please."

    Father.


    2) As Darkness Falls

    Me and KrystalBlaze speculate on the way Episode III happens, spoilerfree.

    As the story opens, five Jedi have been imprisoned on charges of treason, among them Anakin Skywalker. In this teaser, Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin come to an agreement over his fate.

    Teaser: As if reading his mind, Palpatine turned, regarding him solemnly. "I know that the Jedi turned their backs on you," he said gravely, "that the Council has ruled not to defend you, but that is not my intention. In many things, I thank the Council for their wisdom and foresight, but this time, they are wrong."

    "Then, why did you have us arrested?" Anakin spat before he could stop himself, then flushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Your..."

    "Stop it," Palpatine snorted. "You are speaking more sense than I've heard from the Council in a month. Even your own Master seems to be agreeing with them."

    If the man were trying to push his buttons, see how far he could drive him to the chasm of bitterness, he was doing a remarkable job. Unlike Obi-Wan, however, this was more of the guilty taking the truth to be hard than the cold fury of betrayal.

    "What would you have me do?" he queried, more sedately.

    That smile again, slightly unnerving, but strangely reassuring. "I met with each of the Jedi involved in the last hours," he explained, "because I sincerely have an interest in helping see this matter resolved. I believe that, in many ways, the Jedi are at fault, but I do not believe that what they have done merits the severity of the charges or the demands of vigilante justice that your accusers suggest. I have gotten very similar accounts of the mission, but one thing remains very clear.

    "You, Anakin Skywalker, came very close to saving the situation, but you were almost alone in your thinking. The other who espoused your suggestions was killed, so despite your good intentions and your overtures
     
  24. _-Darth_Greek-_

    _-Darth_Greek-_ Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2003
    THIS IS MY CALLING!!

    Hello I am Darth Greek and I am a feedback Junkie

    i need feedback. i get no feedback unless i strangle someone to reply there. Its very aggrivating for me. Im a sick sick man but i crave feedbacks. I need my fix. I just believe people need to give my oc story a chance and to stop hiding in those ani/padme stories and other vignettes and go read some epics a chapter at a time. Im a sick sick man and prob need more rehab than all of u.
    I read yalls story but i thought i was the only one. I will post in yall story now when i read an update.

    here is my summary of my new Epic: A Galaxy at War

    It is a turbulent time in the galaxy. It is 250 years after the yuuzhan vong war. The Galactic Alliance had shattered and old factions spring up again. Now the empire plots to destroy the republic with its secret surprise and they plan to use the chiss too. The Jedi have forgotten the principles leanred by Luke Skywalker and now resemble the Jedi of the Old republic more than ever. While the empire waits word from the chiss, Jedi Knight Barbosa Kirek struggles with the dark side andhis only help is his girlfriend Haylie and friends. And during this time, minions of the emperor hunt him out.

    Then, deep in the galaxy, a threat once dead comes again to cause an epic adventure, a war to end all wars

    the link is in my sig
     
  25. RK_Striker_JK_5

    RK_Striker_JK_5 Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Walks in and bows

    Hello. I am RK_Striker_JK_5, and I am a feedback junkie. My fic, [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/13736038/p1]Three New Sailor Senshi[/link], is a good fic. Unfortunately, it has one reader. It's the only Star Wars/Sailor Moon crossover I've ever seen. There were more readers, but most stopped reading after the first two-three pages.

    Sets plate of handmade and very tasty chocolate chip cookies down and backs away
     
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