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Saga The Skywalker Prophecy - Episode IV: A Destiny Renewed (OT AU; A/P, H/L, L/M, OCs): COMPLETED

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Darth_Lex, Mar 28, 2003.

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  1. DarthSon

    DarthSon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2000
    Another wonderful post. The relationship between Anakin and Danae is amazing, I can't wait to see Anakin and Bryon interact. Till friday!
     
  2. qingauk

    qingauk Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 2002
    "Most impressive".. now where did that story of 'Vader' come from? intriguing.
     
  3. anakin_girl

    anakin_girl Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 8, 2000
    Monica: I actually was in a situation like that once...it's not fatal but it is pretty embarrassing. [face_blush]

    Great post, Lex. Poor Padme--she's so worried. And I love the father/daughter interaction between Anakin and Danae.
     
  4. Jedi_Liz

    Jedi_Liz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 24, 2000
    interesting story about the use of the name Vader.

    Thanks for the PM.
     
  5. PhoenixMage

    PhoenixMage Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2002
    I like how you portrayed relationships in this chapter. I like how Padme and Jenny interacted, and how Padme felt about her youngest son and his girlfriend. I also like how easy it was for Anakin and Danae to talk. And how Anakin explained the 'Lady Vader' thing.
     
  6. Lando_Plenty

    Lando_Plenty Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2002
    I like this chapter the best so far..especially the Vader name and its significance, and the idea of the will of the Dark side bestowing the name Vader upon him.
    Also liked how Padme's character is developed here - she's like a typical mother.
    It really does feel like if I'm reading a novel - nice work. ;)
     
  7. aotc02

    aotc02 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 17, 2002
    Good post. The conversation between Padmé and Jenny was funny. Padmé's now the matchmaker for her kids. The closeness between Anakin and Danaé was nice. I loved the line where Anakin said that he had come so close to losing everything and that he has everything to lose but nothing to gain.
     
  8. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    Insert long toughtful reply condensed from chats here :p


    Wonderful posts of course...

    MORe PLeaaase
     
  9. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2001
    The story of "Vader" was chilling. Good story -- very tangled, and interesting!
     
  10. ForceAchtungBaby

    ForceAchtungBaby Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2002
    I'm just spellbound Lex!

    When she pulled away, Padmé nodded before she turned back and called out across the room to her son and his paramour.
    I've always liked the word paramour! Nice to see someone use it!
     
  11. JediCami

    JediCami Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2002
    aww great post again!
    I like the whole Byron.Sare romance. more of that would be nice!

    UP!
     
  12. JediArwen

    JediArwen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Very good post, Darth!
    I like very much the grown up Anakin and Padme. Padme is exactly as I would imagine her if she survived and raced her children. And Anakin can for certain be like that if he was not a great great fool and played Palpy's game. Such a loss. :(
    You develope the relationships with their children very well. Can't wait to see them together. [face_love]
    Keep on. :)
     
  13. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Monica: Thanks! Here's to hoping you never have to find out! :p
    Jesus_the_Hut: [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
    geo3: You are far too generous. [face_blush] You're right -- I chose the title "The Skywalker Prophecy" intentionally, because as much as this is a Star Wars story, it's really about a family.
    DarthSon: Thanks! Anakin and Bryon will talk a few chapters down the line. ;)
    qingauk: The "Vader" name story was a twist I introduced in A Bumpier Road to shake up my readers -- and I think having Ani and Padme call each other Lord and Lady Vader on Naboo made people wonder how the story would wind up. ;) Of course he didn't become Darth Vader -- at least not in that story.... :eek: [face_devil] ;) (And don't worry, what I included here should be all you really need to know about the "Vader" name for purposes of this story.)
    anakin_girl: Yes, I suppose it would be. [face_laugh] And thanks!
    Jedi_Liz: Thanks! You're welcome. :D
    PhoenixMage: The relationships are the core of GL's saga and my AU, so I'm glad you like them so much.
    Lando_Plenty: Thank you! [face_blush] In many ways, Padme is a typical mother. In other ways she isn't, though, as you'll see. :p
    aotc02: Writing Ani and Padme as parents is a lot of fun. :D
    DB: [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
    Dally: Ooh! Chilling! :D Good. I hope I can get that reaction more from you as we move along. [face_devil]
    FAB: Glad I could assist with the "paramour" usage. :p And "spellbound"? I always like to hear that about my writing! [face_blush] [face_blush]
    JediCami: Thank you. There is more of Bryon and Sarre in the next post, in fact. ;)
    JediArwen: I'm very pleased you think Ani and Padme are true to form here. And they will be reunited soon, don't worry. :) [face_love]



    We're still on schedule for tomorrow morning (EST -- I want my hour back! :mad: :mad:) for the rest of chapter 3. See you then! :D :D


     
  14. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    I can't believe how much I had to read to catch up!
    I really like this story :D . I especially love how correct you keep your characterizations of Ani and Padme in this AU. Their basic personalities remain true to type andf that is very important. And of course, the breathtaking action in each post just keeps me gasping for more!! ;)
     
  15. JediArwen

    JediArwen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Darth why I have the feeling that you continue to make fun of me? :D
    The bad thing is that I have to prepare two birthday partys! -one on Saturday and one on Sunday- for my sons and I don't know when I shall find some time to read the next post.
    Wish me strength and a lot of patience.
     
  16. lori71

    lori71 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 18, 2002
    DL - I finally caught up and can delurk now!

    I adore this story! Ani is such a charming and loving character. It's heart-warming to see the adult and paternal versions of these traits.

    I love so much about this story it's hard to list everything.

    -The kids: It's fascinating to see their different strengths and abilities. We're only on chapter 3 and their characters are already very well defined. Poor Leia...it's a good thing we know that Han is on the way.

    -Mara: Mischievous, but maturing. What is it with the Skywalker's and older spouses? :)

    -Han and the gang: I know that some SW fans would stone me for this, but Han being busted back down to Captain was almost Kirk-like. Some men were just made to captain ships.

    -Padme: This is very close to the way I imagined an older Padme. So different from the colder, less-maternal Leia in the EU books.

    -Overall: I'm thoroughly enjoying this tale and am eagerly looking forward to the next chapter.

    Great job!

     
  17. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    leia_naberrie: Thanks! I'm working very hard on the characterization, so I'm glad you think it's good. :D

    lori71: Wow. [face_blush] [face_blush] Thank you! That is very much how I see these characters too, so I'm very pleased you agree. (And my beta reader had the same comment you did about Han -- and while it wasn't an intentional allusion on my part, the similarity is there. ;))


    Thanks for the up, JediArwen -- and good luck with all that work!! :D :D

    The next post will be up momentarily. ;)
     
  18. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2002
    Author's Note: Anakin's memories in this post are a very brief summary of the second half of A Bumpier Road. The details of what happened then are not really important to this story -- so what I've included here should be all you really need to know. ;) :D

    And so we continue......

    ********************
    CHAPTER THREE (Part 2 of 2)

    Sarré?s face was bright when she faced Bryon again. ?I thought they?d never leave!?

    Bryon smiled. He reached out with both hands and took hers. ?I?ve missed you so much,? he admitted desperately. Even though they were alone in the room and everyone else on the ship had gone to sleep, they kept their voices hushed.

    Sarré simply stared into his eyes. She had told him that seven times in the previous half-hour without hearing it in return. His mother wasn?t strong in the Force. Yet for some reason he was incapable of speaking the words aloud with her in the room. So he was going to pay for it, if only for a few minutes.

    ?Look, I?m sorry,? he apologized sincerely. ?If I hurt your feelings, I didn?t mean to.?

    All he was receiving in reply was a delighted smile from the gorgeous blonde girl in the red-and-white jumpsuit. It looked like she was admiring the way his tight black fatigues fit over his muscled frame, but he couldn?t be sure.

    Now his hands were sweating profusely. But he was unwilling to release his hold on hers. ?Really, I?m sorry. You just have to realize what it?s like. My father and my brother and my sister are Jedi. They pick up emotions without meaning to. It?s natural for them ? it?s no different than seeing colors and hearing sounds.? He took a deep breath. ?And think about who my men are. They?re all trained to have maximum perception. They can interpret eyes and faces easily, and they can understand whispers and read lips perfectly. I?m so accustomed to being circumspect I don?t even do it on purpose.?

    She decided to let him off the hook. Just a bit. ?Even if all of that is true ? and you forgot it?s only your mother, who can?t do any of those things ? so what? What do you care if your mother knows how you feel about me??

    ?It?s not that I don?t want her to know,? he conceded. ?At least I don?t think so. But it seems different to me for her to hear me say it than if she just assumes it, or figures it out for herself.?

    ?Or if someone else tells her?? She never had told him about the mortifying encounter and poignant conversation with his mother. She had meant to, of course, but had been afraid to admit it. The more time passed, the more difficult it became to explain why she had waited to bring it up. Now it seemed impossible. Except that Padmé might say something to him. Which would be very bad.

    ?Hmm?? Bryon was oblivious.

    Fortunately, the politician in Sarré found an avenue of evasion. ?Well, I don?t hide things from my mother. She knows how I feel about you. How much I miss you. It?s only a matter of time before she and your mom talk about this.? She would deal with the other problem later.

    ?You?re right,? he nodded. ?It would be different if Mom hears it from your mother than from me.?

    ?That?s crazy,? she teased. ?But for now I?ll let it go.? She looked fiercely into his brown eyes and squeezed his hands more firmly. ?I bet you thought you?d successfully kept the subject changed, huh??

    Bryon held the intense stare while he frowned. ?I was hoping so, yes.? As he had on countless prior occasions, he decided that her lavender eyes outshone even the most beautiful gems in the galaxy.

    ?Too bad, Bryon,? she insisted. ?You have to tell me what?s going on. You?re sullen. Moody. You haven?t called me for weeks and weeks. Please. Let me help you.?

    ?I can?t, Sarré,? he sighed, breaking their gaze. ?I just can?t.? His eyes drilled into the bottom of his empty cup of cocoa.

    ?Look at me!? She let her voice rise and gain an edge. It worked. He met her eyes again. ?Are you going to make me guess??

    ?Yes?? he replied tentatively, hopi
     
  19. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Byron and Sarre and the mischevious Padme and Jenny are so sweet! The calm before the storm, I fear.

    I really feel for Byron - a non-Jedi in a family full of them. It must be very difficult. And he carries so much responsibility for someone so young.

    Why do I worry that Anakin's commendable hold on the light side of the Force is going to be challenged again before this is over?

    I have a...a...dark feeling about this.
     
  20. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Thanks for the background.

    Still enjoying the story, even if my feedback is a bit limited. :)
     
  21. Lando_Plenty

    Lando_Plenty Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 13, 2002
    So he was going to pay for it, if only for a few minutes. :p Great character development in this chapter!

    I like the lightside Anakin. Though I can see darkside stuff coming up again in his life. He's the Chosen One after all, and the Galaxy never seems to leave him alone.
     
  22. jedimastersam

    jedimastersam Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 6, 2003
    most ecellent post dart lex
     
  23. JediArwen

    JediArwen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 12, 2002
    I just find a little time to read the post!
    Great post Darth. I liked Padme's sleep arrangements. She remembers herself being young and in love. I'd like to believe that I shall do the same -even more, when the time comes for me and my sons. [face_mischief]
    I 'll write a larger reply if I'll find some time.
     
  24. DANA28

    DANA28 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 15, 2002
    I just love your new characters. Byron and Sarre are so sweet. He's just a big loveable teadybear.
     
  25. Jedi_Liz

    Jedi_Liz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 24, 2000
    very nice post


    Padmé is a sneaky mom, isn't she?
     
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