main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Before - Legends The Slave. (Qui-Gon - Obi-Wan angst. - AU- - Completed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Gkilkenny, Sep 24, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Poor Obi-Wan, yes let Yoda come. He and Obi-Wan are good friends and Qui help your padawan.

    Great chapter with beautiful descriptions of the garden and those intense emptions.

    =D==D==D=
     
  2. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    My bet's on Tahl or Yoda :D


    [blockquote]It was unheard of to destroy a bond between a Master and apprentice, and the Council had frowned on his callousness. It was the Council?s prerogative to dissolve a bond, and only if they deemed it necessary. Nevertheless, he?d done it all in the name of betrayal and darkness. He remembered those horrible words he had spoken to Obi-Wan that day. So be it, then. I knew it would end like this. You have betrayed me like Xanatos did. You will join him in the darkness forever.

    Qui-Gon had put those thoughts into the vulnerable boys head, and for three years, he?d lived without light.

    ?Oh, Force, Obi-Wan! I?m so sorry!? Qui-Gon pulled out his com-unit and placed a call to Healer Ba?han. Unfortunately, he was in surgery and was unavailable. Qui-Gon pressed another code, he knew this person would help him. [/blockquote]

    Hmm...plot point or bunny, not sure which, but three years without light but he hasn't lost the light - someone needs to get that through to him. Will it be Qui?

    At least he's opened up to Qui and that's the really sticking point, isn't it? By addressing this, Qui can really reach Obi-Wan, if he handles it right.

    I'm so happy my thoughts gave you some ideas - because you set up the potential for certain scenes so beautifully anyway. face_wink]
     
  3. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Poor Obi! :_|

    He's still afraid Qui will change his mind. :( I hope Qui can get through to him eventually that he really wants to be his master.

    That's sad about that tree where all the initiates carved their names before being sent to the Agri-Corps. :( And that Obi never felt confident enough in his place at Qui's side to scratch his own name off the tree. :(

    I love all the angst in this, Gkilkenny, you write it so well! [face_love] And you are the Queen of Qui-guilt. [face_love] Can't wait for more! :D
     
  4. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    That is so sad! :( I'm glad it is out in the open now what he's afraid of. Though he thinks Qui won't be able to help him, but let's hope that he can and does! [face_dancing] Come on Qui you can do it for him! :D

    I, too wonder if he is calling Yoda. :D
     
  5. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    The thought of sending 'surplus' students to become farmers didn't sound very smart to me. You basically send someone who could become a dangerous person away. Oh they do become farmers and do something but what about all that resentment that they might have?

    Poor Obi-Wan! Anytime he wants my AS he can barrow it for the day.
     
  6. JediKaren

    JediKaren Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 26, 2007
    ugh. interesting chapter. I like.
     
  7. p_stotts

    p_stotts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2001
    Hmmm... and who is this other helpful person? Yoda perhaps? Qui-Gon needs to push past his own feelings of guilt in order to truly help Obi-Wan. As long as Obi-Wan senses Qui-Gon's guilt, he'll always doubt Qui-Gon's true reasons for taking Obi-Wan back. Time and consistancy is what Obi-Wan needs. There are no quick fixes to this problem. Obi-Wan might possibly struggle with doubts and insecurities for years to come.

    Great job, Padawan! =D= Well done!
     
  8. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2007
    Come on Qui, I know that you can help Obi! Heartwrenching post! Great job!
     
  9. bek

    bek Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    I hope Qui-Gon reports that tree to the Council; they need to see all the names of all the children that were sent away to various areas of the Corps and come up with a plan to reduce the number of children who are cast aside.

    ?Because I?m? I?m afraid? I?m afraid you?ll change your mind again!? Obi-Wan dropped his gaze to the ground.

    At last, the truth had been fully revealed. He?d hurt Obi-Wan the most. He?d taken a bright, yet shy boy, and abused him in a worse way. He?d accepted him as his apprentice in name only and he?d criticised him at every turn. Then he?d ripped out the bond they?d shared.

    Qui-Gon had put those thoughts into the vulnerable boys head, and for three years, he?d lived without light.

    ?Oh, Force, Obi-Wan! I?m so sorry!? Qui-Gon pulled out his com-unit and placed a call to Healer Ba?han. Unfortunately, he was in surgery and was unavailable. Qui-Gon pressed another code, he knew this person would help him.


    Perhaps he's calling Yoda? [face_thinking] I hope Qui-Gon can get through to Obi-Wan that he won't abandon him again. :(

    You're really good at torturing Obi-Wan and making the readers want to hug him and make it all better. :p Wonderful job with yet another satisfying chapter! Hope to read more soon!




     
  10. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Lolly_Tolly
    It?s a safe bet.[face_mischief]
    acupuncture.... On Qui-Gon Naaaa.o_O

    EGKenobi

    Thanks help is on the way.:D


    KELIA
    Siri? umm I couldn?t imagine why he?d call Siri.[face_thinking]
    Well not yet anyway.:D

    earlybird-obi-wan

    The garden didn?t ease his torment but maybe Yoda will. Thanks for reading.[:D]

    Valairy_Scot

    You were close. it was a toss up between Yoda and Tahl.[face_idea]
    You gave me another thought with Tahl, something I almost forgot.[:D]
    Thank you.[face_dancing]

    Bastet
    I?m trying to keep the angst going. Thanks about the Queen of Qui-guilt ;)
    I certainly try to keep Qui on his toes. He made a big mistake in TPM so I make him suffer for it.:D
    Thanks for your support.[face_dancing]

    Kynstar

    Don?t you just love 'Sad.' [face_mischief]

    Yoda it is. Thank you for reading.:D


    Lady_Misty
    You?re so right it seemed stupid to me as well. They are all prime candidates for the dark side.[face_devil]


    JediKaren

    Thank you.:*

    p_stotts

    Yoda is the one.[face_dancing] Thank you[:D]
    That?s what I?m aiming for, a slow recovery.
    Three years of torment can?t disappear in a chapter.[face_worried]
    I have to make Qui suffer more.[face_whistling]


    jedidas3

    Thank you, I?m trying to catch up on all the angst around for Obi.[face_whistling]

    bek
    The tree will be reported. o_O
    Thank you. I just love torturing Obi, and then hugging him myself.[:D]




    Thanks everyone here's the next post.



    ooo



    ?Yes??

    ?Master Yoda, would you come to the Garden of Tranquillity immediately?? Qui-Gon pleaded.

    ?Coming, I am.?

    When Master Yoda arrived, he sensed great chaos and pain through the force. Obi-Wan was huddled near the tree stump, shaking and full of self-loathing and Qui-Gon was standing at the edge of the bushes shattered and disgusted with himself.

    Yoda was about to speak, when Qui-Gon whispered, ?Master Yoda, please help him discover that not everyone in the Temple is as arrogant and callous as I am. What I did to Obi-Wan three years ago has burned a hole in the core of his being. Since then, he?s carried the belief that he would dwell in darkness forever.?

    ?See to him I will, do not give up hope Qui-Gon. Unable to think, or reason clearly in his time of despair he can, but needs you he does.?

    ooo


    Master Yoda pushed through the rose bush and sat next to the trembling boy. ?Obi-Wan come with me you should.?

    Haunted eyes slowly rose, ?I?m so cold and I can?t let my fear go. I didn?t mean to hurt Master Jinn, but I have and I don?t know what to do.?

    ?A time to worry about that this is not. Make you warm I will, come with me young one.?

    In Yoda?s apartment, Obi-Wan felt the Force gather around him but it didn?t make him feel any better. He was sitting with his legs crossed on a large divan. His whole body shook from the cold that seeped through his bones. Yoda had wrapped a big woolly blanket around him and it should?ve warmed him, but it didn?t.

    ?Tell me young one, what troubles you??

    ?You won?t understand, you?ll think like they all do that I?m unworthy to be a Jedi.?

    ?Sense I do that alone you do not want to be, your heart aches for companionship and love, does it not??

    ?How did you know?? he stuttered as his pulse rate increased.

    ?A characteristic common it is in all humans. Never in my long life have I met a human who doesn?t crave for love and companionship.?

    ?I don?t understand then. How can a human be a good Jedi if they desire attachment? It is forbidden for a Jedi to be attached to another isn?t it??

    ?The bond between a Master and their apprentice, in that category it does fall. The Master swears to protect, nurture, and teach. Tell me young one is it possible to learn from someone who does not like you??

    ?N-no.?

    ?Then form a certain kind of attachment all
     
  11. p_stotts

    p_stotts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2001
    Oh yes, Obi-Wan certainly has a hard road ahead of him. If Qui-Gon is going to help him, then he needs to get over himself. Perhaps joint sessions with a soul healer would do them some good. I'm surprised Qui-Gon is reticent for Obi to see a soul healer (if I remember your previous chapters correctly). They need a guide to help them rebuild both their bond and their confidence. Thanks for the PM, Padawan! As always, a great chapter! :D
     
  12. EGKenobi

    EGKenobi Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Great update!

    Can't wait for more.

    Please update soon :)

    EG
     
  13. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Poor baby Obi :( gotta agree with Qui on that :( poor kid hasn't had any comforting so to speak.

    Great update! Nice backstory on Obi. :D

    So can't wait for more! Hopefully Yoda was able to get thru Obi prior to him falling asleep.
     
  14. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Good question Mace however I don't believe that releasing him from the Jedi or sending him back to the Corp is the answer.
     
  15. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Poor Obi. [face_hug] x 1million.

    I can see why Mace asked what he did; it's a step - he hasn't found the answer, of course, but he is asking the question.

    I'm so glad Yoda is there for Obi-Wan - he'll get through to Obi-Wan (but when?)
     
  16. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    Poor Obi-Wan from the moment of his birth meeting coldness and cruel beings.

    Qui-Gon help him and don't listen to Mace's advise in sending him away.

    Super update=D==D=
     
  17. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Poor Obi-Wan. :( That was so sad to hear about his cold and mush-less childhood. :( Who beat him up when he was six? It was Xanatos, wasn't it?! :mad:

    Now Qui needs to hurry up and show Obi that he really does care for him. Though with everything Obi has been through, will he ever be able to believe him? :(

    Excellent chapter, as always. [face_love]
     
  18. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Oh my poor Obi!

    :_| :_| :_| :_|

    It's so sad that he's known so much rejection and coldness in his life. It does explain why he can't believe Qui-Gon cares right now.

    Tell me what can we do with him?? Mace snapped.

    Figure it out, Windu! :mad: :mad: :mad:

    I loved Yoda's TLC [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  19. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    p_stotts
    I wonder can Qui-Gon ever get over himself.:p
    He is a stubborn man. Then Obi is stubborn too.o_O
    Yes a soul healer for both would be good.[face_praying]
    Thanks for reading.[:D]

    EGKenobi
    Thanks for your interest. I appreciate your reviews.[face_dancing]

    KynstarThanks[:D]
    Oh you know Yoda he works his magic anywhere.:D

    Lady_Misty.
    That?s the only thing Mace thinks about. Especially when the answer is in the too hard basket.[face_not_talking]
    Never fear Yoda is here![face_love]

    Valairy_Scot.

    Thank you[face_love]
    Yoda is always around and most of the time he does the right thing.:D

    earlybird-obi-wan
    Thank you for your review[face_love]
    Don?t worry Qui-Gon never listens to Mace, as a matter of fact he rarely listens to anyone.:oops:

    Bastet
    Yes he had a cold and mush-less childhood.:( Don?t you just love angst.:D Thanks for your support.[:D]

    KELIA
    Mace is dense and it will take Yoda to help him figure it out.:oops: That?s why he looks to Yoda for answers all the time.[face_mischief]
    Thank you.[face_dancing]

    Don't look now but the next chapter is here.



    ooo



    ?Give him what he needs,? both men turned as Yoda appeared in the doorway.

    ?Master Yoda!? Mace bowed.

    ?I didn?t know you were here?? Qui-Gon stated.

    ?Too busy with your story you were.?

    ?What do you mean give him what he needs?? Qui-Gon asked.

    ?Heard I did, your story of young Obi-Wan, sad tale it is. Needs to feel wanted he does, needs to know that - a mistake- he is not.?

    ?How can we do this? It?s not the Jedi way to be passionate and loving and show emotion and have attachments.? Mace implied.

    ?Attachments we have to our padawan?s, bonded we are. Time to show them this it is.?

    ?Show them how??

    ?Confirm it yourself Master Windu!? Yoda waved his stick at the dark skinned Master. ?Greatest asset the Jedi have is the younglings. Without them, there is no future. Noticed I have that fewer younglings come to the Temple, and too quick we are to abandon them, to send them away. Change now we will. Come with me you both should.?

    Both men followed Yoda back to his apartment, Obi-Wan was asleep on the couch, wrapped in a very thick blanket.

    ?Is he alright?? Qui-Gon asked feeling his worry rise.

    ?Force sleep, put him in I did. Protect him from his despair I have, and into his memories I explored. Saw rejection, fear and loneliness, and etched into his mind his acceptance of failure. Convinced his destiny is to die alone to atone for his sins.?

    ?But he hasn?t sinned, he?s innocent of any wrong-doing. It?s me who?s wronged him.?

    ?Each of us in our own way has wronged him and many like him,? Mace agreed.

    ?Chance to right your wrongs you have. Help you I will, need to feel the warmth of life, and the beating of a loving heart. Nurture him you should and expel his fears. Let him hear the strong beat of your heart. Hold him like the tiny child he was, do as the Force urged you to do many years ago. Banish the memories of a dead mother, and a cold droid; cast out the memory of a cold-hearted Jedi. A new life he deserves, and give it to him now you will.?

    Qui-Gon nodded in agreement, ?Tell me what should I do??

    ?Room enough on this couch there is, hold him and comfort him. Let him feel your strong heart beating underneath him.?

    Yoda with his great strength in the Force levitated young Obi-Wan up off the couch, and Qui-Gon settled him self down on the couch. Master Yoda then gently lowered the boy so his upper body and head rested on Qui-Gon?s chest. Obi-Wan curled his legs up next to Qui-Gon?s warm body and Qui-Gon wrapped his arm around the boys back, and across his slim shoulder. Obi-Wan?s head rested over Qui-Gon?s heart.

    Almost instinctively, Obi-Wan?s hand moved of its own volition and his fingers closed tightly around the living hair. At Yoda?s urging, Qui-Gon pulled the living Force around
     
  20. p_stotts

    p_stotts Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2001
    :_| That's so sad, but I'm sure the experience will help Obi to move on. Closure is what he needs... that and lots of [:D] [face_love] [:D]. Of course, there are plenty of Obi-gals out there waiting to comfort him... just in case Qui-Gon's arms get tired from hugging him all the time. :D Great job, Padawan!

    Edit - Whoohoo! I got first post!
     
  21. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    So warm and heart wrenching at the same time! Great job! I'm so glad Obi met with his old friends. Perhaps soon he'll be able to relax now that he knows Qui truly cares and will be there for him.

    Excellent post once again! :D
     
  22. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    They know Padawan as do I.? Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. Sobs racked his slight frame and Qui-Gon gently rubbed his back whispering, ?let it out my child let the Force take your grief away.?

    Beautiful:_|

    Lovely update seeing Yoda and Qui-Gon helping Obi.

    And the visit from Garen, Bant and Siri. Now he is on the way to recovery.[face_dancing][face_love]
     
  23. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Yoda's right!

    I'm glad that Obi-Wan's healing up now.

    I hope that the sleemo stays locked up where scum like him belong!
     
  24. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005

    [blockquote]Chance to right your wrongs you have. Help you I will, need to feel the warmth of life, and the beating of a loving heart. Nurture him you should and expel his fears. Let him hear the strong beat of your heart. Hold him like the tiny child he was, do as the Force urged you to do many years ago. Banish the memories of a dead mother, and a cold droid; cast out the memory of a cold-hearted Jedi. A new life he deserves, and give it to him now you will.?

    Qui-Gon nodded in agreement, ?Tell me what should I do??

    ?Room enough on this couch there is, hold him and comfort him. Let him feel your strong heart beating underneath him.?

    Yoda with his great strength in the Force levitated young Obi-Wan up off the couch, and Qui-Gon settled him self down on the couch. Master Yoda then gently lowered the boy so his upper body and head rested on Qui-Gon?s chest. Obi-Wan curled his legs up next to Qui-Gon?s warm body and Qui-Gon wrapped his arm around the boys back, and across his slim shoulder. Obi-Wan?s head rested over Qui-Gon?s heart.

    Almost instinctively, Obi-Wan?s hand moved of its own volition and his fingers closed tightly around the living hair. At Yoda?s urging, Qui-Gon pulled the living Force around him, and cocooned Obi-Wan?s body in it. He breathed deeply, so Obi-Wan could feel the breath of life moving through his warm chest. Qui-Gon?s heart was beating steadily and it was strong and powerful.

    Yoda kept Obi-Wan asleep; using his connection to the living Force, he cocooned the whole room. He and Mace sat on the other couches in the room, and settled down to wait. Yoda drew on the Force to liberate Obi-Wan from his painful memories, pushing them back and replacing them with hope for the future.

    He gradually released his hold on the boy so he would rise slowly to consciousness, making fresh memories of warmth, and life in a world where he belonged.

    It was late in the evening, when Yoda felt Obi-Wan relax and take in a deep breath and sigh. Yoda watched as Obi-Wan shifted slightly so his ear rested over Qui-Gon?s heart, and he wriggled a bit to get comfortable. Yoda smiled when he saw the smaller hand open to grab more hair, and he sensed a deep pull of sleep take control of Obi-Wan?s body. [/blockquote]

    Ah, happy sigh. You're one of the best storytellers on the boards.
     
  25. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    I'm glad to see Obi-Wan finally begin to heal and trust.

    Leave it to Yoda to know just the right thing to do for him [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    if you only do what you think you can do- you?ll never do very much.

    Poignant observation but at least it got Obi to see his friends again.

    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=

     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.