ST The ST: What Would You Change/Revise?

IMO They should have discussed since the beginning on what to do in the whole trilogy. They give the impression that Abrams/Kasdan and Johnson had two different ideas on the direction to take. So there are lines in TFA that are abandoned in TLJ, and also some stuff that comes out of nowhere in TLJ and should have been properly introduced in TFA.

 

I dunno how i would improve it but id say they need to find the right balance between nostalgia and new material

they seem to be either too attached to it or too busy trying to use it to pass the torch.

 

TFA
1)FO background explained in a few brief effective lines (like "The Senate is no more" from ANH).
2)Snoke heavily implied to have an interest in Luke.
3)There is no Resistance, just a New Republic.
4)Han is an admiral of the fleet or rich trader (not smuggler) who helps Leia in senate.
5)Rey and Finn escape from FO attracted the Republic fleet attention - there the meeting with Chewi who is the captain of MF.
6)Luke disappeared.
7)Snoke is interested in Rey's powers she show on Jakku. Kylo is his pet.
8)Rey realized she is Force sensitive. She comes to Republic capital and found out that Leia and Han are searching for Luke.
9)Third act of the movie is the FO fleet attack on Republic capital.
10)Han have died from the hands of Kylo Ren. FO assault was stopped with the appearance of Luke's Jedi fleet.
11)Kylo want to take Anakin's lightsaber that was kept in Leia's house on capital. Rey prevent him from taking it. Luke saves her making Kylo retreat.
12)The Han's funeral.

TLJ
1)Rey meets with Luke. He is kinda grumpy guy but good one. He went trhough many scary things and said he wanted to give up after he lost Kylo but connection with Leia and father's advices hept him from falling into darkness.
2)Rey stars training with Luke. One time she even saw Leia weekly training.
3)Meanwhile Luke is searchign for the way to defeat Snoke.
4)Snoke's backstory is revealed. He is from the Outer Regions, and interested in Rey.
5)Rey was hinted to be related to someone important. She meets with the couple of Luke's students (Poe is one of them)/
6)Meanwhile Rey asked Luke to show him his work. Luke reveals that he felt the splash in the Force but that wasnt only the Snoke's presence. There is something else beyond the Outer Regions. Something terrible.
7)FO fleet attacks Luke's fleet. Kylo captures Rey after their intense fighting.
8)Luke comes after Rey. He steps into the trap. Snoke captures him and reveal the real reason of why he wanted Rey. After Luke defeated an Emperor Snoke felt the splash in the Force. He felt great power in Luke and always wanted to bring him to the Dark Side. But he couldnt get him because Luke is too stoic and too smart. He then decided to get him via Kylo and then Rey, knowing that Luke still cares about people.
9)There is the big clash between Luke and Snoke. Luke wounds Snoke but Kylo backstabbed him. Luke becomes the Force Ghost.
10)Rey escapes hearing Luke's voice in the head "Run, Rey!"/
11)Weakened Snoke laments hinting on how the last hope for the galaxy is lost with the death of its greatest warrior. He reveals he wanted to bring Luke to the Dark Side to make him powerfull enough to unite the forces and face the faceless enemy that may come from Beyond.
12)Kylo then tells him there is another Skywalker left. He then executes Snoke and sits down on the throne. FO soldiers bow to him.
13)Rey came back to Luke's ship and find out Luke left all his knowledges about Faceless enemy to her and other students. Together they should find the way to stop the coming war. And what is worse - they should unite the forces with FO.
14)Somewhere between the lines we find out that Rey is Kenobi. Maybe this time she will save the Skywalker without killing him.


Well, something like that.

 

I wouldn’t. I intend to keep my day job.

 

I enjoyed The Force Awakens, but feel that The Last Jedi retroactively rendered a lot of it pointless. So I have lots of ideas about how I would like the prequel trilogy to have gone:

Overall theme
The sequel trilogy is about the return of the Republic and the destruction of the Jedi v Sith cycle (through the rise of a new breed of 'balanced' Jedi). This would complete the fall and rise of the Republic and end the Skywalker saga - both main themes that ran through all 3 trilogies.

Rey
Rey is a deeper character with an authentic reason for being strong with the force. My idea is she was a Duchess, raised in luxury and security in a palatial complex, shielded from the realities of the world. Aged 16, she seeks adventure and escapes the palace and for the first time witnessing the real struggles and suffering of the universe - death, poverty, disease...
Shocked by this, Rey retreats to a solitary life on Jakku, where she lives a simple life based around deep meditation in an effort to come to terms with these realities, and to find her place in the universe.
During this time of intensive meditation, she becomes aware of a powerful energy - the Force literally awakens inside her. Over the course of 2 years in retreat, Rey experiments with the force, becoming ever more attuned, but lacking the subtleties of real control. Needing guidance, she is drawn out of hiding and eventually meets Lor San Tekka, who takes her under his wing and teaches her the ways of the force (not Jedi-style, but more like meditation techniques, self control and inner peace).

State of the galaxy: The Republic
In the 30 years since the battle of Endor, the galaxy is in a state of cold war. The Republic has partially reformed around core systems, while a power vacuum remains throughout other systems. The good guys in my trilogy are The Republic, not the Resistance. Leia is now a General in the Republic military, and wary of the growing threat posed by the First Order, is searching for her exiled brother Luke.

The First Order
Instead of an established government in waiting, The First Order is more of a paramilitary ISIS-style organisation, made up of imperial loyalists, soldiers of fortune and warlords. They aren't as strong militarily as The Republic, but they are lead by an extremely charismatic tactical genius, Snoke. They are well-funded and have access to old Imperial weapons as well as newly-developed technologies. Their uniforms are a mix of informal guerrilla style and old Imperial stormtrooper garb.

Snoke and Kylo Ren
Snoke is a force sensitive warlord and tactical genius. He isn't a sith or darksider - he doesn't have that level of power. He is just aware of the Force and can use it for guidance. He has a cordial relationship with his powerful enforcer, the fallen Jedi Kylo Ren. Their relationship is a very good one - Snoke allows Kylo off his leash, placing great faith in him, allowing Kylo to flourish.

Finn
He is very much a minor character in The Force Awakens, but is more useful throughout the trilogy. Instead of defecting from The First Order, he is kidnapped by Poe when he escapes Ren's Star Destroyer. Over the course of The Force Awakens, Finn is a Republic prisoner who passes on vital intelligence to Poe and Leia, setting his character up as a double agent. He is returned to the First Order in the 3rd act of The Force Awakens, becoming an interesting, useful Republic asset for episodes 8 and 9.

No Starkiller base, no Empire v Rebels
I think it is important that this trilogy doesn't rehash old ideas because it doesn't move the story forward. Instead of Starkiller Base, the First Order's 'statement' attack that ignites the war is a mass ambush of a Republic base on D'Qar. Thanks to intelligence from Finn, the Republic are able to repel the ambush, beating the First Order in to retreat. As previously stated, the Republic military is the dominant force, while the First Order is the underdog - but an extremely dangerous and ruthless one at that. It sets up the conflict as an interesting backdrop to the real story of this trilogy - the ways of the Force.

Luke Skywalker
Luke went in to exile after Kylo Ren and other fallen Jedi destroyed his temple and new Jedi order. But instead of wallowing, Luke uses his exile to find answers. Researching the old Jedi texts and deepening his connection to the force, he discovers a powerful new capability that allows force users to harness light and dark without being possessed. Over the course of episode 8 and 9, he passes this knowledge on to Rey and his burgeoning new generation of balanced Jedi. This secures the Skywalker legacy, yet passes the torch on to Rey and a new generation of heroes in a more sensitive way.

I see much of The Force Awakens play out in a similar way as the actual film, but with the above points applied. Episode 8 would probably be quite a departure. It would include a First Order masterstroke terror attack on Republic trade routes, plunging the Republic in to chaos and cutting off their main military armada for the duration of the film. The Knights of Ren would become an important part of the story, giving Kylo more power as he and Snoke have a growing distrust of each other, and an internal struggle for the leadership of The First Order ensues. Luke and Rey have a strong relationship and face off against Kylo and the Knights of Ren in the final battle of the film. I haven't fleshed out my Episode 8 or 9 yet, I'm sure I will in time...

 

You can’t.

It is what it is.

 

@Dukeleto69

I like your ideas, a lot of it would've made the movies a hell of a lot more cooler and cohesive, but I feel there's too much implied CGI for one. It's too rich for Disney's blood. I don't have a problem with it, but others will. And evidently do. And that's a damn shame.

As for improving the ST, I'd throw out the Rebel vs Empire plotline altogether as a start.

 

I love this idea.

It is a nice change from having a protagonist who comes from modest beginnings.

 

Don't hire Rian johnson or J.J abrams/kasdan again.

 

I would focus on story instead of trying so desperately hard to create characters to market to people. The characters in the OT were loved because they were part of a cool story, not the other way around.

The entire ST feels like they developed a grouping of characters ahead of time with a marketing team,but had no real idea what to do with them.

 

This sounds like fun! Guess I can give it a shot.

Episode XII- Disturbance in the Force
Background: 30 years since the Battle of Endor. The New Republic is ascendant with such legends as Princess Leia and General Wedge Antilles in charge.Luke's Jedi Order is growing strong. The Empire has been relegated to a remnant of its former might, and the Sith cancer apparently died with Sidious and Vader aboard the Death Star 2. However, a disturbance in the force is a prelude to war...

Here We Go!- Kylo Ren in full Darksider disguise leads a terrorist strike on an outlying Republican world, called Taris. A short battle is shown here: X-wings and other snub-fighters are taken out before they can take to the sky. Captain Phasma effectively leads the ground assault from the tip of the spear. FN-2187 performs extremely well in combat killing some notable Republican soldiers. General Hux assures Kylo Ren that all communications off-world have been cut, and he's ordered all fleeing vessels destroyed before they can make the jump to hyperspace. Summary executions are carried out, and several key prisoners are taken. FN-2187 inexplicably fails to fire on the prisoners in the heat of the moment. The reason for this strike is unclear as they retreat back to parts unknown. Keep in the awesome blaster bolt freezing feat, and FN's helmet being marked by his Best Friend's blood. Hux can just be a voice on a commlink in this scene.

FN-2187, under mental duress, is confronted by his direct superior Phasma about his actions or lack thereof. FN is visibly wary/frightened of Phasma. She's obviously busy with other matters in the wake of the attack. The eternal curse of bureaucracy, but she's wise to something not being quite right. She orders FN to 'report to Medical' after he's seen to his duties. However, FN disobeys. His brainwashing has cracked a bit from the stress of the battle, and after a thorough examination, Medical will either re-educate him or have him 'retired'. Thus, he resolves to escape. As he's trying to figure out as way off the ship, he hears that one of the captives is Poe Dameron, the Republic's Ace and the leader of Rogue Squadron. That's his way out! Using his skills and rank as an elite commando, FN-2187 manages to free Poe, and the two escape aboard a stolen fighter in a harrowing chase in which Poe ends up giving Finn his name. Their destination is a nearby Republican world.

This whole bit would be solely from Finn's Point of View. Try to really get in his head.

A Scavenger's Start- Cut to Rey on Jakku. She's living the Scavenger Life™, and essentially a slave to Unkar Platt. Kinda highlight just how crappy her life is. She was raised mostly by a broken down old droid who's remains are kept in her hovel. She pilots others ships for supplementary income. Show that she dreams of going out into the galaxy, that she's been saving up in secret to do so! Then, have her meet and save a droid called BB-8 from a rival Teedo scavenger despite the fact that it will no doubt affect her livelihood. Rey takes the droid back to her bolthole, where she intends to lie low for a while. However, BB-8 is insistent that it has a mission to accomplish. It leaves, and the scavenger gives chase despite her reservations. She arrives back in town to find the a gang of Teedo scavengers lying in wait. They've captured BB-8, and aren't pleased with her.

She puts up a good fight, but she's eventually overwhelmed. Before the Teeto's can kill her, Ben Solo enters. He easily drives off the gang members with impressive Force and lightsaber skills. BB-8 is his droid. The Jedi Knight explains that the Force drew him to this world, that Rey drew him here. Ben's actually out here on a recruiting mission. He offers to take her to his uncle's Jedi Temple, where she can learn the ways of the Force. Without reservation, Rey agrees. She's all too happy to get off this rock.

A Deserter an Ace and a Smuggler- Poe and Finn end up in the space above Correlia, where they are are taken into custody. Poe requests to speak to his Commanding Officer, and we are introduced to General Wedge Antilles. Here we learn that the attack on Taris was not an isolated event. There were a score of such attacks throughout the republic, and even worse, there seemed to be sleeper agents within the ranks of the Republican forces. Little is clear, but war seems to be inevitable. Finn volunteers information about his former organization. They're called the First Order, and led by Supreme Leader Syval (Snoke is such a terrible name!). To Finn's disbelief, neither Wedge or Poe have heard of Syval. Recognizing that they have a valuable source of intel, it's decided that Poe will escort Finn to Republican Intel in the Core. However, they cannot afford to dispatch any ship's from Correlia's defenses, and are unsure who they can trust. It's believed the First Order will do everything in their power to kill off Finn.

Enter Han Solo. The retired general turned successful businessman pretty much runs Corellia's transportation business, and yet he still bums around in the Falcon with Chewie. Poe makes a comment about how much the Falcon's been modded. As a personal favor to Wedge, he agrees to personally deliver Finn and Poe to the Republican installation. He makes a comment about wanting to go to Coruscant anyways.

Jedi Temple- Cut to Rey and Ben Solo. They've made their way to the Jedi Temple on Yavin IV, and Rey meets Luke Skywalker. The living legend is suitably wise and impressive, however he's a busy man with a large order to oversee. Rey is enrolled, and we are introduced to the New Jedi Order. It's a collection of many different aliens and humans in various types of dress. People of all ages and from all walks of life have gathered here. Some are parents; others are teens. Their only common thread is force sensitivity, and a wish to make the galaxy a better place. The setting is sparse but elegant. The former scavenger is very talented and an even harder worker.

Ben Solo teaches saber lessons when he's not out recruiting, and he's eager to teach whenever he can. He's essentially Luke's right hand man, and he takes an especial interest in Rey. She makes friends with her fellow trainees quickly. For the first time in her life, she's actually happy!

As with any group of sapient beings, there are divisions. Some believe that the Jedi Order should take a more active hand in galactic affairs, essentially become an extension of the Republican Army. Others, think they should seclude themselves fully from the larger Galaxy in order to be more in tune with the force. Under Luke's leadership, the Jedi Order manages to follow a middle path.

Months pass in a blur of self-discovery as Rey learns the ways of the Jedi. Ben seems to become more aggressive and impatient as time passes by, and there's romantic tension between the two. Ben is more interested in pursuing it, but Rey's intent upon her training. Ben gives Rey BB-8 as a gift. Solo confides in Rey that Luke's not telling him things, and holding back teachings. Rey assures him that Master Skywalker knows what he's doing. Perhaps, his duties abroad are taxing him, but Rey still sees him as a trusted mentor and friend. Due to her latent potential, she falls directly under his uncle's direct attention. She's often given personal lessons by him. She learns instinctively what it takes others years and years of training to pick up. Rey and Luke form a father/daughter type of bond.

However, when Luke is called away by news of his nephew's disappearance, disaster strikes. The First Order invades Yavin, and a number of Jedi turncloak to butcher their brethren. Rey kills a duo of would-be assassins, and barely manages to survive the onslaught until the bloody works done. Only by cutting herself off from the Force, an especially difficult technique Luke taught her, does she evade eradication. She manages to jump to Hyperspace to parts unknown.

Heavily wounded she clings to life in a Jedi Trance within one of Luke's personal spacecraft. The ship is damaged and left a sitting duck. Only a matter of time before she perishes.

The Darkside-Cut to Kylo Ren aboard a large star destroyer. One of the ones that helped destroy the Temple, and the one that Finn and Poe escaped from. General Hux gives orders as Kylo engages in a duel with one of Luke's students, one of Rey's friends. We learn they are en route back to the Unknown Regions. A place called Rakata. Word reaches that the Supreme Leader wishes to speak with Kylo. Kylo dispatches the student easily, and kneels before a hologram of not!Snoke.

Syval praises Kylo Ren. Kylo says that their enemy is still out there. Syval assures Kylo that everything is proceeding according to plan, and its only a matter of time until Luke Skywalker is hunted down. When the Last of the Jedi falls, the New Republic will be ripe for the picking! In the meantime, Kylo should continue his training, continue to cull the connections that hold him back!

The Crew is Together- Rey is rescued by Han and crew. He picked up the encoded beacon from Luke's ship. She's quickly nursed back to health, and she relates the fate of the Jedi Temple to one and all. Han takes the news hard. Several of the Jedi were his friends. Not to mention both his son and brother-in-law are missing. However, he keeps his eye on the prize. He continues on to Coruscant with his passengers.

Enter Leia, Honorary Senator of Alderaan and a General in the Republic Military. She and Han are estranged. Their marriage has always been hot and cold, but they obviously still love one another. All of the duties and responsibilities they have keep them separated for long periods. The New Republic is mobilizing for a final war against the Imperial remnant in retaliation for the brazen attacks.

Finn is debriefed. We learn he, like all first order soldiers, was kidnapped at an early age and forced into service. News of the First Order and not!Snoke's existence and role in the attack is a revelation to Leia, as is the news of Ben and Luke's disappearance in conjunction with the destruction of the Jedi Temple. She will try to stall the Republic's war preparations against the Remnant until more intel can be gathered regarding this new threat. Han and Company are dispatched to the Unknown Regions with a small exploratory force. This is where Finn says the First Order hales from. If they find anything of substance, they are to contact Leia immediately.

Into the Unknown- Han and company fly out again with an escort of several corvettes, the remainder of the legendary Rogue Sqaudron led by Poe Dameron, and a cadre of mercenaries Han's employed before. Speed is more important than punching power. Finn doesn't want to face off against the First Order, but he's more afraid of what'll happen if they are left unchecked.

They head to the Rakatan system deep in the Unknown Regions. It's a largely uncharted area. Only Finn's recollections, Han's experience, and Rey's Force perception allow for them to make their way through the labyrinthine Unknown Regions. They are pulled out of hyperspace by a First Order fleet led by a very familiar Star Destroyer with what looks like a mobile shipyard attached to it.

They can't jump away due to interdictors, and signal jammers prevent any messages from being sent. The fighters evade capture by hiding in a nearby asteroid field. The Corvettes are blown to hell. The Millenium Falcon is tractor beamed before it can take evasive measures. Han tries his old smuggler's trick of hiding below the walkways of the Falcon, but the stormtroopers know to look there. Phasma leads the team that finds them.

So, they are marched out, and brought to Kylo Ren's personal chambers in shackles.

There's a bit of awkward back and forth. Kylo seems mostly interested in Han and Rey. Kylo says that he can unlock Rey's true potential, that she just needs to join him. Kylo eventually says something that is a 'Ben-ism'. "Ben... is that you?"

Here we get Kylo taking off his mask to reveal the scarred features of Ben Solo.

Han: What happened to you?!

Kylo: My dear Uncle happened.

Before the conversation can go further, a large Republican fleet jumps in with Admiral Ackbar in command. Han grins roguishly,\. This was one of his ploys. Then he goes solemn, "Come home, Ben. It's not too late."

"I'm sorry." Kylo murders Han. And then things happen all at once. Rey surges forward as she calls a lightsaber to her hand. Rey's defeated in three swift strokes, and her lightsaber is destroyed. Using a distraction created by BB-8, Chewie and Finn disarm nearby guards. Chewie fires at Kylo, but the bolt freezes in midair. Finn throws a flashbang grenade.. disorienting everyone. The blasterbolt slams into Kylo's side, and he's thrown off balance. The heroes escape as the fleet battle intensifies.

Rey, Finn, and Chewbacca flee through the vast corridors of the ship. Finn knows the place like the back of his hand, and they soon find themselves out of immediate danger. BB-8 logs into the ship's mainframe, and finds out startling news. The First Order is looking for Luke Skywalker, and they're currently slicing into R2-D2 in order to find his whereabouts. The little droid is holding out, but it's only a matter of time.

So, they launch an impromptu rescue mission for the little droid, and to disable the tractor beam so they can escape the Star Destroyer. They run into Phasma. Rey can't use the force without drawing Kylo Ren's attention, and Chewbacca is busy freeing R2 from the bulky slicing apparatus. Finn man's up, and engages Phasma. The Stormtrooper Commander's armor is impervious to blasterbolts, and she comes on like the terminator. So, Finn ends up blowing the walkways out from underneath her, and sends her plummeting to her apparent doom.

There's intermittent bits covering the space battle. Neither side can run. Leia's in charge. She's been effected by Han's passing, but she soldiers on. Poe's running circles around the TIE fighters. Hux shows himself to be an able commander, and keeps it to a stalemate despite inferior numbers.

As they begin setting charges around the tractor beam, Kylo Ren arrives. He's in obvious pain, but he seems all the stronger for it. Again, he tries to coax Rey to joining the Dark Side. Talks about how great and powerful his master is. Finn doesn't let him get too close. He detonates the charges mid-monologue. The ceiling looks like its going to collapse on top of Kylo, but he holds the tons of debris up effortlessly using one hand as a focus. With his other hand, he shoots forks of lightning into Finn.

Chewbacca lets out a furious roar, and heroically tackles Kylo Ren. The ceiling drops on them leaving Rey, Finn, and the two droids to make good on their escape. Rey has to drag Finn's inert form through the ship, but they manage. The Millennium Falcon escapes from the Star Destroyer, and the space battle ends in a draw.

R2 relates Luke's location. Leia's needed back at Coruscant ASAP. Thus we end with Rey approaching Luke on her own via the Falcon.

-----------
Well, that ended up being a lot longer than I expected. Hopefully, folks enjoy the pseudo-fanfiction! Will have other movies out later lol

 

Well I also started a thread on this

http://boards.theforce.net/threads/how-would-you-improve-st-films.50047693/#post-54758662

so awaiting the mods merging it here is my view (I have kept basic structure and acted more like a script doctor than produce something totally different to what we have)...

STAR WARS EPISODE VII - THE FORCE AWAKENS

(Changed crawl...)
Luke Skywalker has vanished. At the edge of the
galaxy the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the
ashes of the Empire and will not rest until Skywalker,
the last Jedi, has been destroyed.

While the NEW REPUBLIC remains unconcerned
by the potential threat, General Leia Organa
secretly leads a brave RESISTANCE deep inside
the First Order territory.

Desperate to find her brother Luke, Leia has sent
her most daring pilot on a secret mission to Jakku,
where an old ally has discovered a clue to Luke's
whereabouts...

Changes made to script/story:
1. Not just a map but series of clues to find Luke making parts of the film more of a quest/race for clues (changing the film to be less obviously based on ANH).
2. In early scenes on Jakku Rey is shown as already having some control over the Force.
3. The Falcon is not in the junkyard on Jakku, Han and Chewie (still working with Resistance and trying to find Luke with Poe) in the Falcon rescue BB8 (and therefore Rey and Finn) by tracking BB8's homing beacon. BB8 makes them go look for Poe and they find him before coming under attack by TIE fighters. Poe is badly injured and unconscious so not yet busting the "big deal" Finn or revealing who he really is (so no smuggler ship or gangs scene).
4. Leia arguing with the New Republic Senate on Coruscant about the threat posed by the First Order and recommending remilitarisation but losing the vote and being called a war monger and out of date (one Senator mentions the Empire not being a threat for 30yrs since the last Imperial fleet was destroyed over Jakku). Leia heads off to rejoin the small force loyal to herself who are undertaking covert ops in First Order space.
5. Hux's speech (but not firing) scene is now when they begin charging the weapon by sucking energy out of star (uses the energy of one star to destroy another causing it to go nova killing all planets in solar system).
6. The light sabre Maz has is the green one not the one lost on Bespin. Luke left it with Maz as he "no longer needed/wanted it". It still reaches out to Rey but only shows the things it would have witnessed inc Knights of Ren etc
7. When FO arrive and capture Rey it is Phasma who battles with Finn but is forced to retreat when Resistance arrive in force!
8. No reveal of real nature of starkiller base until last act. From orbit starkiller looks like a normal planet. There are vast orbital docks surrounding Starkiller where the First Order are completing construction of a huge fleet.
9. Poe leads an X Wing attack as a diversion to enable the Falcon, Han, Chewie and Finn to infiltrate Starkiller to free Rey (no hyperspace piercing of shield).
10. Kylo Ren removes his mask (for the first time) and is revealed as Ben Solo when he meets Han Solo on Starkiller base! Han only says he wants to confront the monster who took his son! Han is still killed by Kylo.
11. During the attack two huge gun doors start to open on the planet surface and the Starkiller weapon is fired destroying the New Republic capital Coruscant (by killing the star in Coruscant system not planet).
12. Starkiller is not destroyed (it was only a single use weapon anyway) but the planet will die now the sun/star has been sucked dry.
13. The firing of the weapon is what splits the crust separating Kylo and Rey.
14. The huge FO fleet begins leaving orbit.
15. Leia embraces Chewie first then Rey!
16. Luke still only appears in the final scene with Rey but he speaks one line with great sadness "I have been expecting you!


STAR WARS EPISODE VIII - THE LAST JEDI

(Changed crawl...)
Coruscant the capital of the NEW REPUBLIC
has been destroyed. Supreme Leader Snoke
has unleashed the merciless legions of the
FIRST ORDER to seize control of the galaxy.

Only General Leia Organa's forces stand
against the rising tyranny, certain that
Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return
and restore a spark of hope to the fight.

The decimated New Republic forces try to
regroup, but their rendezvous has been
exposed. As the First Order fleet arrives
the brave heroes mount a desperate escape...

Changes made to script/story:
1. The opening scene is a battle between what remains of the New Republic fleet and the new First Order fleet (not simply an escape by Resistance). Snoke has ordered the capture of Leia (as a way to get to Luke) rather than the destruction of the cruiser.
2. Hux leads part of the FO fleet in pursuit of Leia's resistance cruiser (neither Snoke or the Supremacy are there). All communication signals are being blocked and the hyper drive has been sabotaged on the cruiser - so there is a traitor onboard! (Perhaps some people suspect Finn?)
3. When the TIE fighters attack Leia does not freeze in space but instead uses the Force to hold back the imploding Windows on the bridge long enough for many of the crew to escape before she is overcome by the effort and blown backwards through the doors which seal against the vacuum. Leia is still seriously injured.
4. Poe (not Holdo) takes command in Leia's absence and when examining the star charts identifies Crait as being nearby (with Canto Bight on the way where there is a Galactic Communication Node and a Resistance sleeper cell) so they set course for Crait.
5. Finn and Rose offer to go to nearby Canto Bight. Poe (against advice of some who are suspicious of Finn) agrees and tells them to find the Resistance agent (DJ) to get a signal sent to remaining New Republic forces by breaking into comms station.
6. During the training of Rey (which lasts for longer) Luke warns her about the pull of the dark side and how Snoke will call to her and manipulate her through others and that she must resist "you are the strongest force user I have ever seen, but your skills are too raw, untrained and unfocused. You are vulnerable to the dark side!"
7. On Canto Bight Finn and Rose are more competent, they hide their ship and find DJ but are captured by Phasma and storm troopers (who are lying in wait) and are taken back to Hux's flagship where Rose is revealed as the traitor/FO spy!
8. Poe positions the resistance cruiser between the FO fleet and Crait to shield the smaller ships escaping down to the planet.
9. Sensing the danger her friends face Rey leaves Luke (against his advice "believe me I have done what you are doing, this will not go way you expect!") with Chewie and heads for Crait.
10. Leia uses the Force to bolster the shield against the FO ship's lasers before Leia (not Holdo) pilots the cruiser and crashes it into Hux's ship sacrificing herself to protect the Resistence. Just before she dies she communes with Luke who feels her die finally forcing him into action!
11. In the chaos of the dying FO ship, Finn and DJ manage to escape (the sneaking about in FO uniforms being then) and capture Rose taking her to Crait (Finn still fights Phasma, BB8 and DJ operate the AT ST).
12. After initially escaping on Crait and taking a ship to head back to the FO fleet Rose redeems herself by deciding instead to sacrifice herself (by crashing into the siege cannon) to save Finn.
13. When Luke appears on Crait to confront Kylo his immense power is shown when he first crushes and topples several of the AT AT walkers!
14. Luke doesn't die when using the Force to appear on Crait but we do see him exhausted and even close to death through the effort (he will die in next film).
15. Snoke's ship the Supremacy arrives now!
16. Having helped evacuate the remaining Resistance on the Falcon, Rey then goes to the Supremacy via pod.
17. Rey is tortured by Snoke but then Kylo joins with her and they kill Snoke and the praetorian guards. The penultimate scene of the film is Kylo asking Rey to join him but we do not see her final response!
18. The last scene of the film is Luke raising his X wing out of the water and then leaving the planet (out of exile to join the resistance).

 

Loving all the contributions so far -- be they detailed script-like, or smaller takes.

Thank-you so much those contributing, looking forward to more.

 

Reading some of these is bittersweet because there was so much room for exciting stories. Yet we've been left with very little to chew on heading into Episode IX.

 

Personally I feel as though Ben Solo's fall, the destruction of the temple etc is the interesting story. Snoke revealing himself etc. They skipped over everything that would have been exciting.

 

Different lead than Ridley. Luke as a mentor that's still a major character throughout the trilogy. No rebels vs. Empire dynamic. Largely an entirely new visual design philosophy instead of OT 2.0. Primary antagonist that doesn't feel like something from a parody sketch.

 

I would wait for the end of the trilogy before I changed it. But, hey, that's just me.

 

I'll be honest; I would have liked TFA to move further away from the OT. I liked the concept of the Knights of Ren but was disappointed to see that they have not played a significant role in either Episode VII or VIII. When I heard about the KoR I was hoping for some sort of feudal system to emerge after the fall of the empire with various dark force wielders sharing an uncomfortable alliance. I was also hoping that we would move away from the chosen one motif that has plagued the PT and have more than one Jedi hero emerge. Instead we have the Resistance (Rebellion 2.0) going up against the Republic (Empire 2.0) with Vader, Luke and the Emperor mirrored in Kylo Ren, Rey and Snoke. While Episode VIII may have moved the pieces differently, the core material feels retread and somewhat redundant.

Episode IX will need to take some really bold steps to stand out as Episode XIII worked really hard cutting most of the lose ends left by Episode VII. I only wish that the KoR had been given a more significant role in Episodes VII and VIII because right now everything feels like an echo of the OT with a few twists thrown in for good measure.

 

Yeah, I had a similar idea in mind as well.

-Rey would be Han and Leia's daughter, and a student at her Uncle Luke's Jedi Academy
-Finn would be a simple mechanic from Jakku (which wouldn't be a desert world, but similar to the smuggler planet from the VII concept art.)
-Poe would be Han's protege.
-Kylo Ren isn't Han and Leia's son, but a fallen student of Luke's.

 

-Make Rey somebody who needs to learn and train in order to use the Force and wield a lightsaber. It would be OK to give her a single special power she could use innately, a single trick, useful, but limited in scope, like say psicometry, or the ability to make stuff burst into flames with her mind... something that would mark her as special and save her ass a few times, but she would still need to train in order to learn everything else (like lightsaber fencing, mind trick and telekinesis).

Psicometry, in particular, could justify almost everything she does in the movie. How did she learn to fly? Psicometry. How did she learn to fix the Falcon? Psicometry. How did she learn how to use a lightsaber? Psicometry.

-She shouldn't be able to defeat Kylo Ren until much later. Kylo Ren, even wounded and distressed, should have been able to defeat Finn and Rey. That fight should have put both Finn and Rey to their very limits, and they should have survived only thanks to quick thinking and some cunning trick. If Kylo is to be the real villain, he needs to remain threatening, and he can't be after being wooped around by Rey so early...

-Make Finn a bit more useful an competent. Guy was trained as a stormtrooper almost from birth!

-Make Starkiller a space railgun that shoots projectiles throught hyperspace at higher than light speeds. Just as destructive, a bit more believable. Also, make people learn about the destruction of Hosnian Prime thanks to the news, rather than making them look up to the sky. Also, remove that dumb "sucking the energy from the sun" thing...

-Have Leia and Han be in a different position, rather than having them go back to resistance fighter and mere smuggler... like, have Han Solo be the new owner of Cloud City, and Leia a senator who wants to rearm the Republic to make it able to face the First Order.

-Make Poe Dameron suffer some negative consequences for his actions, or at least have him do something badass enough to compensate for them... he losses the bombing fleet, killing a bunch of good resistance fighters, heads a mutiny... and he is made leader?!

-Remove the whole Casino Planet mission... not every SW movie needs the goodies to infiltrate the Empire's main ship/base/space station... just have Finn and Rose be part of a mission to seek help from old allies of Leia, or something like that, and have them be betrayed and captured while doing so...

-Have Holdo explain her plan properly to the crew, and remove Poe's mutiny... they both looked stupid and incompetent beyond redemption.... make them do something stupid, if you need, but not THAT stupid.

-Have Luke give Rey some real training.

-Don't make Luke try to kill his nephew. Luke Skywalker doesn't give up on people like that. Give Kylo some other reason to hate his uncle, like he refused to train him, or something....

-Let Luke survive so he can keep training Rey. If you have to kill him, do it in the third movie.

 

Keep TFA the same.

Make Rey Luke’s daughter.

Have Kylo obsessed with his family lineage of hitting the midichlorian lottery.

Have Luke disenfranchised because he thought he lost his wife and child along with failing Kylo.

Have Luke not wanting to train Rey because he wants to keep her out of harms way while silently realizing he is her long lost daughter.

Have Kylo tell her and turn her to darkside.

Make her the one that’s conflicted.

Have Leia confront Kylo.

Have Luke arrive and spank him only to let his guard down and let Kylo strike him down as a means to bring an end to his torment and become one with the force now that he sees his daughter and no his nephew can be redeemed.

Leia slip into a coma from despair and old age.

Rey join back with the resistance.

Have Kylo and Rey the only two remaining Skywalker’s on opposing factions battling for the fate of the galaxy and the legacy of their family.

Wait for episode 9

 

Just a few tweaks that actually made sense for the character arcs and plot (still can't understand why RJ didn't think about it himself. was he forced to beat everything down to make the plot work???)

1)Make Poe an actual main character. Cut out the whole Holdo character. Bring the progression to Poe's arc: hot head pilot in TFA - mistake in the beginning of TLJ - Leia's coma - Poe learns to be the actual leader - Poe saves the fleet running away to Crait and thinking off the plan to use the light speed and to sacrifice himself - Leia (or someone else) telling everyone in the end of the movie to follow Poe would ACTUALLY look reasonable. In RJ version Poe degraded, so Leia's words sounded weird and absolutely unreasonable. RJ's Poe didn't deserve the credits.

2)Make Leia sacrifice herself instead of Holdo's character. Great and bright farewell to Carrie. Left the place to Poe.

3)Fill Luke's exile with real purpose. Show us his confrontation with Ben. Show us Luke defending his students from FO, Snoke and Kylo Ren. Show us that Luke tries to find the secret how to defeat the Snoke.

4)Make Luke levitate his X-Wing and fly away to help the Resistance.

5)Show the panic in Canto Bight after SKB blow up. Show us few mini scenes with people showing their allegiances towards FO or Republic. Give some sense of people care about some "galactic" scale events, you know.

6)Make Finn successfully sacrifice himself. Bring the progression to his arc: traitor and coward in TFA and in the beginning of TLJ - learn the courage and things Resistance fight for - the hero who decided to bring himself down for the sake of comrades.

7)Show Snoke smug smile after lightsaber cut him down. Just one smug smile to give us the hint on him playing Kylo like a flute.

8)Make Rey less conflicted on Kylo's parts. There is nothing in the movie that makes her sudden change of attitude towards Kylo believable. Its not. Besides actor's great work, on characters and story levels they just dont work together now.

9)Bring Rey and Poe together - after heroic sacrifices of their closest friends - Leia and Finn.

10)Keep Luke alive with them.

11)Show the signals of Republic's fleets that answered the call in the very end.

I can't speak for everyone but for me it would be so much more compelling and satisfying movie if those things happened.

 

I'd have taken a more structured approach.
I wouldn't have given a relative inexperienced nobody ( in the Hollywood scheme of things) the license to write and direct the middle part of a new trilogy for such an important and beloved franchise.

 

Make it about Finn and Kylo.

That's about it.