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Story The Superman Trilogy, Part I: The Last Son of Krypton

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Duragizer, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    In light of upcoming story developments, I felt it necessary to provide insight into Luma's life on Krypton. Four new flashback scenes have been inserted HERE, HERE, and HERE.
     
  2. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    ...
     
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2019
  3. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Eugh, it looks like Helen is up to no good. I didn't at all like the sound of that conversation and am curious where this is going to go from here. [face_thinking] [face_plain]

    The changes you made are really interesting too, and I think I'm keeping up. I really like Luma's character so far. :) =D=
     
    Duragizer likes this.
  4. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    I've come to realize that I have too much story to fit comfortably inside a trilogy of feature-length screenplays, so I've decided to retool my Superman trilogy into a three-season series instead. Everything from the destruction of Krypton to the development of Clark's powers is Episode 1, everything from Labor Day weekend to Jonathan's phone conversation with Helen is Episode 2, and I imagine a minimum of five further episodes to follow, bringing Season 1 to a close.

    Aside from adding "OPENING/END CREDITS" tags to delineate the two episodes, I've removed the Luma flashbacks. They'll be fleshed out into a full flashback episode later on.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
  5. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    THE LAST SON OF KRYPTON

    "THANKSGIVING"

    FADE IN

    On Helen Potter standing tall in her spick-and-span kitchen, a white apron with pink frills worn over the front of her dress.

    On her counter, arranged with all the tidiness of a surgeon prepared for surgery, are the ingredients and supplies needed to make a pecan pie.

    CUT TO

    Helen feeding kindling into her wood stove.

    CUT TO

    Helen combining flour, salt, white sugar, cubed butter, and water in a bowl with a pastry cutter.

    CUT TO

    Helen rolling out the dough.

    CUT TO

    Helen lining a pie tin with dough.

    CUT TO

    Helen crimping the edges of the crust.

    CUT TO

    Helen lining the crust with parchment before weighing it down with hard beans.

    CUT TO

    Helen placing the unbaked crust in the oven.

    CUT TO

    Helen whisking a melted mixture of butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, flour, milk, salt, and vanilla extract in a saucepan.

    CUT TO

    Helen breaking three eggs into a bowl, then gradually pouring the brown fluid into them, blending with the whisk.

    CUT TO

    Helen removing the baked crust from the oven.

    CUT TO

    Helen removing the beans and parchment from the crust, adding crushed pecans, then pouring in the filling.

    CUT TO

    Helen placing the pie in the oven.

    An hour later.

    Opening the oven, Helen fishes out the fresh, hot pecan pie. Bring it to her face, she inhales, savouring the aroma. Crossing to the open kitchen window, she sets the steaming pie on the sill to cool.

    FADE OUT

    BEGIN OPENING CREDITS

    END OPENING CREDITS

    FADE IN

    On Luma in her bedroom, in a pretty carmine dress, seated before her vanity, running the bristles of a horsehair brush through her hair at a methodic pace, her expression sedate.

    Finished styling her hair, she sets the brush down. Beside the brush rest a pair of glasses. Taking them up, she looks them over, almost as if she can't determine their purpose. Unfolding the stems, she slips them on. The tinted lenses mask the intensity of her uncanny eyes, making them appear a more subdued amber. She examines herself in the mirror; she doesn't much care for how the eyewear looks on her.

    The door opens; Martha leans inside.

    MARTHA

    Luma? We're set to go.

    LUMA

    I'll be down shortly.

    INT. KENT HOME/ENTRANCE HALL — TWILIGHT

    Jonathan is standing in wait at the door when Martha comes down from upstairs.

    MARTHA

    She'll be right down.

    JONATHAN

    Where's Clark?

    MARTHA

    (raises voice) Clark? (beat) Clark?

    Luma comes down the stairs. She trains her eyes ahead of her, focusing them.

    LUMA

    He's out in the barn.

    MARTHA

    Be a dear and fetch him?

    INT. BARN/LOFT — TWILIGHT

    Dressed in his best clothes, Clark sits reading a hardback novel. Luma leaps in through the open loft door.

    LUMA

    (scrutinizes book) Frankenstein. (beat) You've read this one.

    CLARK

    Mmm-hmm.

    LUMA

    I can recall chapter and verse after a single reading.

    CLARK

    Me too.

    LUMA

    (shrugs) Why bother?

    CLARK

    It relaxes me.

    Closing the book, Clark rises. The two Kryptonians stand there a moment, each studying the other.

    LUMA

    (offers hand) They're waiting.

    Clark takes Luma's hand.

    EXT. KENT FARM — KENT HOME — TWILIGHT

    Clark and Luma approach the Kents' four-year-old Ford Model A sedan; Jonathan and Martha are already seated inside. Clark opens the back left door for her. The two Kryptonians exchange glances, then Luma slips inside. Clark closes the door for her.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2020
  6. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    I've changed my mind about having Clark able to instinctively understand Kryptonian. I removed the babysitting scene entirely, since its only purpose was to show baby Clark had latent understanding of his native tongue, and rewrote the scenes with Clark and Luma conversing in Kryptonian.
     
  7. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    I'm enjoying your story, in particular Luma and the image of her and Clark floating with controlled power down the stairs. Nice idea to show the creative process and what changes get made throughout.
     
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  8. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    I'm hoping to resume work on this soon. Stay tuned.
     
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  9. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    INT. SEDAN/BACK SEAT — TWILIGHT

    As they drive to Helen's, Clark peers out his window, apprehensive. For her part, Luma faces forward, expression neutral, though she keeps angling her eyes at Clark.

    EXT. HELEN'S HOME/FRONT YARD — TWILIGHT

    Jonathan stands at the door, wife, son, and Luma behind him. He isn't any more eagre than Clark to be there.

    MARTHA

    Well?

    Jonathan hesitant, Martha takes initiative, stepping past her husband to knock at the door. Several seconds pass with no response. Jonathan knocks. Still no one comes to the door.

    MARTHA

    What could be keeping her?

    CLARK'S P.O.V. — ENTRANCE HALL

    Clark activates his x-ray vision. His parents and front door disappear, allowing him to peer into the entrance hall. Helen stands on the other side of the door in an incredibly form-fitting bold red dress. Hands on hips, a wry half-smile on her cherry red lips, she takes a casual glance at her watch.

    EXT. HELEN'S HOME/FRONT YARD — TWILIGHT

    Jonathan knocks again. Again no response.

    JONATHAN

    (frowns) We're leaving.

    Just as Jonathan turns from the door, it opens. Helen steps out, feigned expression of apology on her face.

    HELEN

    I was entertaining Sarah and Lewis in the parlour. I mustn't have heard you.

    Jonathan reflexively eyes Helen's figure under the tight dress. She grins, pleased. Collecting himself, he stiffens, adjusting the front of his buttoned coat.

    HELEN

    (sights Luma) This must be your niece.

    Luma approaches their hostess. She takes a quick sniff of the air about the older woman.

    HELEN

    I am Helen Potter; all my friends call me Hel. Doubtless Clark's mentioned me.

    LUMA

    (cocks eyebrow) I know everything worth knowing about you.

    HELEN

    Beware of unguarded talk. (chuckles) I don't know your name.

    LUMA

    Luma-Lyn. Luma to my friends.

    HELEN

    It's a joy to meet you, Luma.

    LUMA

    (firm) Luma-Lyn.

    Helen's smile of self-satisfaction briefly falters. The hostility radiating from Luma is subtle but palpable.

    HELEN

    Come in from the cold, won't you? (tugs dress hem) It's positively frigid.

    INT. HELEN'S HOME/PARLOUR — TWILIGHT

    Helen guides the Kents and Luma into her parlour, where the Langs are relaxing.

    HELEN

    Luma-Lyn, this would be my sister, Sarah. Her husband, Lewis.

    Lana's parents and the blonde exchange greetings.

    Stepping behind Lana, Helen rests her hands on her niece's shoulders.

    HELEN

    And this is Lana, my niece.

    LUMA

    Hello.

    LANA

    (eyes Luma) Quite the tall one, ain'tcha?

    SARAH LANG

    (frowns) Lana!

    HELEN

    (smiles) Lana can be quite the cheeky she-devil.
    Helen pinches Lana's cheek hard enough to make the redhead flinch.

    LUMA

    I take no offense, Lana.

    HELEN

    Dinner's waiting to be served. Won't everyone make their way to the dining room?

    The Kents, Langs, and Luma head out of the parlour.

    HELEN

    Oh, Clark?

    Clark turns to Helen.

    HELEN

    (cont'd) Help me in the kitchen?
     
  10. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    After an eight-month dry spell, I've finally resumed writing The Last Son of Krypton. [face_party]
     
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  11. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    Made some further minor revisions.

    • Shifted the timeline from 1914-1931 to 1916-1933. I wanted my timeline to more closely align with the Earth-Two timeline, which places Kal-L’s birthdate in 1916.
    • Changed Luma’s eye colour to aureolin. I did this to further distinguish the character from Kara, as well as to give her a more fierce, otherworldly appearance.
    • Removed most instances of characters using electrical appliances and phones. It was pointed out to me that a rural community like Smallville wouldn’t have had much in the way of electricity or telecommunication in the early '30s.
    • Altered Luma’s early dialogue into pseudo-Elizabethan English. I figured memorizing the King James Bible would have an effect on her speech patterns.
    • Removed the bit about Clark having never left Smallville or been to the movies. I realized even if Smallville was off the beaten path, as soon as his super speed emerged, Clark would’ve started visiting neighbouring towns and cities.
     
  12. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    INT. HELEN'S HOME/KITCHEN — NIGHT

    They enter the kitchen. Walking past the succulent roasted turkey which rests cooling on the table, she goes to the counter. Opening a drawer, she collects a large carving knife and fork. Testing the knife along her thumbtip, she then retrieves a knife sharpener. Facing Clark, she takes knife to sharpener, eyes fixed on him as she expertly hones the edge to razor keenness. Replacing the sharpener in the drawer, wiping the blade off on the side of her dress, she takes up the carving fork and strides over to the turkey. She drives the fork straight into the carcass, skewering it.

    Blowing a loose lock of hair out of her eyes, Helen holds the knife handle-out to Clark.

    INT. HELEN'S HOME/DINING ROOM — NIGHT

    Lewis, Sarah, and Lana are seated on one side of the rectangular dining table, Jonathan, Martha, and Luma on the other. Covered/uncovered side dishes and sauces occupy the tabletop; when Luma reaches out to sample one, Martha gently slaps her hand, correcting her.

    Helen and Clark enter, the expertly sliced turkey carried by the lady of the house. Flashing her guests a broad grin, she sets the turkey in its place atop the table.

    Moments later, Clark and Helen have taken their seats — Clark between his mother and Luma, Helen between her sister and Lana — opposite one another. As her guests serve themselves, passing the dishes across the table, Helen steeples her fingers under her chin, a slight smile across her lips. Luma studies Lewis as he fastidiously measures and arranges the portions on his plate.

    HELEN

    Luma-Lyn.

    Luma's gaze shifts from Lewis' plate to Helen.

    HELEN

    (cont'd) I can't place your accent. Where are you from?

    LUMA

    I'm French.

    HELEN

    (cocks eyebrow) Curious. I've spent time in France.

    CLARK

    She's French-Canadian.

    HELEN

    Ah. (beat) Oh! I've a special treat in the kitchen. Give me but a moment.

    Rising from her chair, Helen saunters into the kitchen. Moments later she reappears, a tall glass of red wine in hand.

    HELEN

    I've been saving this little item. (beat) No objections?
    There're no prohibitionists in this lot. Uncorking the bottle, Helen fills each of the adults' glasses. She turns to Luma.

    HELEN

    French children are no strangers to vin with their meals. (smiles) Voulez-vous une tasse d'écureuils?

    A strange expression passes across Sarah's face.

    LUMA

    (slides glass forward) Please.

    Smiling tightly, Helen pours Luma a glass, then takes a seat. She exchanges glances with her sister.

    SARAH

    (silent mouthing) Would you like a cup of squirrels‽

    Taking up her glass, Helen drinks deep.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2020
  13. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    I've hit a snag with writing this series. The plan has always been to use Luthor as the main villain of the story, but I've been having trouble figuring out how to organically involve him in the proceedings. I believe I've finally found a solution, but it would require me to retool much of what I've written so far — namely, everything with Luma would have to be tossed out and the character entirely reimagined. As you can imagine, I'm not keen on doing this, but I may have to to get the story where I want it.
     
  14. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    You've a gift for interesting descriptions and a fun sense of dialogue - I'm sure you'll work it to your satisfaction.
     
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  15. Duragizer

    Duragizer Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2009
    I've gone ahead and started revising the completed episodes. The changes to "The Last Son" are already finished.

    • The opening on Krypton's been simplified. No Luma, no other Kryptonians. The only beings shown are anonymous robots who prepare the birthing matrices for launch.
    • The Codex, an Eradicator-type device, is sent along with the birthing matrices to Earth. It crashes in Antarctica, forming the Fortress of Solitude.
    • Changed a few dates.

    The revisions to "Stranger in a Strange Land" will be more extensive. Luma's scenes will be discarded, no doubt about that now. Remaining scenes will have to be rearranged, new scenes written to fill the gaps. I may end up folding "Thanksgiving" into it, keeping the Clark/Helen subplot to a single episode. I have no idea how long this'll take.
     
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