Saga The Tale of Tyrena [Unofficial Dare response; Godzilla X-over; haiku verse] Winner Best Poem 2010!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Alexis_Wingstar, Mar 28, 2010.

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  1. Alexis_Wingstar

    Alexis_Wingstar Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 16, 2006
    Title: The Tale of Tyrena
    Author: Alexis_Wingstar
    Note: I took on the challenge of another evil dare someone else decided was too tough. I dare you to write a story that:

    -isn't humor.
    -features another character from another science fiction fandom.
    -has no OC's.
    -includes the words beryl, ochroid, heliotrope, viridian and achromatic.
    -is written either in the form of three Shakespearean sonnets, 14 haiku, or twenty-one rhyming couplets. You may combine these forms; however, your fic must be written in verse, and it must be forty-two lines long.

    Well, MacUnleashed, here it is... i hope you consider Godzilla to be science fiction. ;)

    From Agrilita
    Swamps he made his way to the
    twin city Tyrena.

    Dark viridian
    scales of durasteel he had
    to protect from harm.

    Sithly red his eyes
    did glow as he gnashed his teeth
    and roared in anger.

    Power grids he did
    smite as sparks heliotrope
    in hue did fly high.

    No one knew why he
    came nor how he came to be,
    this menacing thing.

    No one knew his mind
    was set to save the city
    he seemed to destroy.

    For another beast
    far worse than he fed on the
    town?s energy grid.

    Invisible was
    this unknown antagonist
    to the residents.

    They only saw this
    fearsome monster from the swamps
    lay waste to their home.

    Though he saved them all
    having vanquished his dark foe,
    a hero to them, no.

    Ochroid, sapphire,
    and green were the lightsabers
    which brought him down low.

    Achromatic, turned
    his scales as his life was shed.
    Victory to us?

    Bright beryl grass fields
    do wave outside the town walls.
    Peace once more within.

    Who will morn? Instead
    the peoples celebrate, for
    Godzilla is dead.>
  2. TheMacUnleashed

    TheMacUnleashed Jedi Knight star 4

    Feb 2, 2009

    This is incredibly awesome. I count Godzilla as a science-fiction creature, and this definitely fits all of the requirements. I have to especially commend you on having not made this humor -given that the idea of Godzilla in the first place automatically makes me think of all of those cheesy old movies in which he was played by a giant action figure/puppet thing, I was wondering how you would pull that off, but you did it perfectly.

    "Achromatic, turned
    his scales as his life was shed.
    Victory to us?"

    This was my favorite stanza -again, it's serious, and the "achromatic" really works there.
  3. Jade_Max

    Jade_Max Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Jun 28, 2002

    Wow... that's such a seriously difficult dare, but you completed it wonderfully! Fabulous! Very, very well written and I'm glad you kept it serious though you could have easily done something else with it.

    I'm impressed; an evil dare with a fabulous conclusion. Bravo!=D=
  4. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    WOW a difficult dare but very touching.=D==D==D=
  5. Alexis_Wingstar

    Alexis_Wingstar Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 16, 2006
    Thanks everyone. The original concept was Peter Parker (Spiderman) and Mary Jane planning what to wear to a masquerade ball in sonnet style, and it was humorous... then realized it was supposed to be serious so I scrapped it (i had only written 4 lines anyway). Once I settled on Godzilla and haiku (which in my opinion go together well), it all fell into place. The idea of the actual story in the poem actually came from an episode of Ultraman, so it this really had a heavy Japanese influence. I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

    Thank you, MacUnleashed, for coming up with the dare. I'm not sure I would have come up with this otherwise! :D

    I'd also like to thank whoever nominated this for best poem.
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