main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Saga The Touch - Palpatine, Mara (Viggie)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by kataja, Jan 23, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Title: The Touch
    Author: Kataja
    Characters: Palpatine, Mara, an Imperial officer
    Setting: the Imperial Palace at Coruscant, 14 BBY
    Genre: Vignette
    Notes: Many thanks to VaderLVR64 for beta! [:D]



    The Touch


    He regards the quiet, trembling child with measuring eyes.

    She is indescribably dirty, despite the major?s half-hearted effort to clean her up, her hair ? red, it could appear ? is a tousled mess and her face is streaked with tears that ran dry days ago. Looking down her ragged jumpsuit he can see that at some point she even has peed in her pants.

    She stands shivering in front of him, eyes to the floor; there is no question that she?s terrified beyond words.

    What should he do with her; the surviving brat of a wiped off Jedi family? She has the gift, he can sense that much even from here ? yet again ? so many have the gift. Is there anything special in this one, anything left in that horror struck mind; isn?t she most likely broken already and rendered completely useless??

    ?How old is she??

    ?Three years old your majesty. Four maybe. It?s hard to tell.?

    The Emperor smiles briefly. For all his intelligence and training, it hasn?t occurred to the major that he could ask the child; she?s old enough to know her own age. Or maybe she can?t remember anymore? Fear can do that to a man, how much more easily then to a child?

    With great care, he reaches out with the Force to touch her mind. Her head pops up at the contact, large eyes widen in surprise and she meets his gaze with newly awakened hope, spontaneous faith?

    And Palpatine smiles?He doesn?t have to wipe out hostile intent from his mind in order for her not to sense it ? it?s all gone already. Gone by this sublime feeling, this precious gift that a small child gives you so freely, this rare savor; trust. How refreshing on a old man?s weary, twisted soul.

    So? she is intact despite her fear; she isn?t broken and certainly not wiped out by the brute fate she and her kin have faced? He touches her mind again and she responds immediately; delicate, unspoiled, with all the vividness a child?s mind can present?

    He looks into those bright, eager eyes; fingers at the edges of her mind, unexpected possibilities suddenly coming to life before him... This could be something different?she could very well be capable of what he?s always dreamt of but also suspected was a only mirage of his own ambition, a dream never likely to come true?

    ?What?s your name, child??

    Fear overtakes her again, but now she fights it, struggles to find her voice, in order to answer his question.

    Yeess? four years old, horrified, but still acknowledging what is required of her, and willing to deliver... A pride? to obey ?what a wonderful, delicious trait?

    ?Mara?your?majesty?? The last words said with an uncertain look to the major, then again focusing on the Emperor before her.

    Wonderful eyes, indeed. Ardent, full of stubborn courage, initiative even?This could be?

    And such an unusual color?jade green. She could grow up to be a beauty of great measure?That would also come in conveniently?

    ?Welcome to my court? Mara Jade.?
    He smiles at the girl and very tentatively she smiles back.

    He reaches out his hand, palm upwards and those jade eyes grow bigger again. She glances around her, almost shamefully; looking for some escape, perhaps.

    There is none, however. There is only one way for her to go. In fact, Palpatine knows, she has two - the way to perdition is always open - but that one is behind her, the way of reluctance, and she is a child, still believing blindly in people and goodness, still mistaking a friendly gesture as good intentions. This belief now redeems her life.

    Gathering all her courage, she rises and steps to the Emperor, taking his hand. Tiny, wee fingers touch bony, faded ones and her eyes widen again at the softness of that wrinkled skin.

    The Emperor smiles indulgently and motions to his side.

    ?Sit down, child. You will have a place at my right side. In time, you will be
     
  2. Jaidyn_Knightfall

    Jaidyn_Knightfall Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2008
    Oooh, this was really good. Really sad, too. While reading this, you start to get a picture of why Mara might have served the Emperor as faithfully as she did.

    I loved this. Great job!
     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Wonderful! I loved it! =D=
     
  4. Atarumaster88

    Atarumaster88 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2009
    "Her hear pops up at the contact"

    BTW, seems to me like hear isn't the best choice of words.
     
  5. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Oh, wow! Very well written and so very creepy. The image of a young child Mara taking Palpatine's hand is just so twisted and scary and wrong, yet we know how she felt about him and her position. I really like how you describe Palaptine's reasonings for keeping her alive, I have to say that after the Prequel Trilogy it almost seemed that the position of the Hand had been rendered moot, but the Emperor was a shrewd man, and Mara's particular talents in communication played into that. Great job showing all of this and more! =D=
     
  6. Ubersue

    Ubersue Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 1, 2008
    He reaches out his hand, palm upwards and those jade eyes grow bigger again. She glances around her, almost shamefully; looking for some escape, perhaps.

    There is none, however. There is only one way for her to go. In fact, Palpatine knows, she has two - the way to perdition is always open - but that one is behind her, the way of reluctance, and she is a child, still believing blindly in people and goodness, still mistaking a friendly gesture as good intentions. This belief now redeems her life.


    I love this. A very creepy and logical scenario. I love the last image of little Mara falling asleep against the cold marble. Great job, kataja!

    =D=
     
  7. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Game Host Who Loves Fanfics & RPGs star 7 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Very well written... now we see the dramatic side of your strong talent--the humor being well established already ;) :D Very vivid and poignant descriptions... from both Mara's and Palp's angles.

    @};-
    =D=
     
  8. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Jaidyn_Knightfall Thank you so much! I'm glad if it made some pieces fall into place: it did for me while writing it! ;) And I agree, it's very, very sad.

    VaderLVR64 Thank you!!! Oh, you did like it!?! I'm so glad! You actually made me sweat a bit! :p

    Atarumaster88 Uhh, you're absolutely right. Thanks for pointing it out; it's already corrected.

    Ginchy [:D] Thank you so much! I'm glad you thought it was wrong and twisted!! LOL. No, really, I started to think about those reasons myself while reading Blank101's formidable thrilogy on FFN, and the more I thought of it, the more creepy it got and suddenly I just had to write it out! I think Mara's service to the Emperor is a very, very interesting chapter. Hard to write too; especially if one's fond of Mara and therefor declined to keep her spotless - I guess I made it easy for myself here in concetrating solely on the deep tragedy of it!

    Ubersue I'm very glad you liked it! I must admit the last image cause me the biggest problems, so I'm happy you think it worked. I finally settled for this picture of Mara accepting her new life in cold and shadow as only a child can.

    Jade_eyes Oh, you make me blush! [face_blush] Thank you very much! And yes, there wasn't much to laugh at in this scene - I'm glad if you find it convincing!
     
  9. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    I just want to thank whoever nominated this for Best Child Characterization!:* I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it! It's such an encouragement to keep on writing. Thank you!!!! [:D] [:D] [:D]
     
  10. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    What an interesting angle on introducing Mara Jade to Palpatine for the first time. And from the Emperor's POV. Brilliantly done. I tend to believe that Mara might have been even younger than three when brought into the Empire. Even at three, children have a memory of their parents. Don't know if you created that part or if its part of canon. Still, it's great to speculate.

    Well done! =D=
     
  11. Melissa1991

    Melissa1991 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 5, 2009
    That was wonderful.
    Excellent way to describe Mara becoming the Emperor's 'experiment'.
     
  12. Blue Ice Cream

    Blue Ice Cream Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2006
    Hey there kataja. :)

    That was amazing. :D

    Well done. =D=
     
  13. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    I missed this the first time. This was perfectly plausible and very well done! :D
     
  14. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Madman007 - As far as I know The Last Command is the only place where Mara speaks about her parents, and there she has no memory of them. You're right that a child who was separated from her parent at the age of three normally would have a memory of them, but I know it sometimes happens that people forget particularly traumatic memories. And I think Palpatine would have done everything to make Mara forget. Possibly even mindwiping her...:(
    I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review! [:D]

    Melissa1991 - Thank you so much! :) I think Palpatine was a master "planner" but sometimes he just gripped the opportunities given to him.

    epithree - Hey, thanks!!! Glad you liked! :)

    Jedi Trace - Oh, I'm so glad to hear that!!! Thank you very much!!! [:D]
     
  15. CherryLightsaber

    CherryLightsaber Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 16, 2005
    Very, very good, realistic characterizations of both Palps and Mara. It was definitely enjoyable to read Mara's reactions to Palpatine's manipulations. You definitely deserve that nomination.
     
  16. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Cherrylightsaber - Thank you so much! I'm so thrilled by the nomination and no matter how the voting goes it's such an encouragement!!! And so is your reply!!! [:D] [:D] [:D] Thank you for your kind words!
     
  17. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Ooohhh that was chilling!

    My heart broke for poor Mara :_| :_|

    And I'm not surprised Palpatine so coldly sized her up before deciding to use her :mad: :mad:

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  18. divapilot

    divapilot Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Very plausible, and very well done. I like how Palpatine initially considers tossing her away, then coldly puts on this "kind" facade to lure her in. The final image of the child sitting beside him obediently for hours until she finally falls asleep is creepy, knowing what's to come.

    =D=
     
  19. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    KELIA - Yes, Palpy wouldn't want to waste his time, would he? ;) And to tell the truth, when the idea of this story came to me it was so chilling I had to write it out, immediately LOL. Thank you for you kind words!!! [:D]

    divapilot - Thank you so much! :) Actually I'm still wondering if it all was a facade [face_thinking] or if the little child actully touched him in some way. I think that what makes Palpatine so evil is not his complete lack of emotions, (because IMO he couldn't be so supremely manipulative unless he'd had feelings himself at least at some point) but his ruthless willingness to use them for his own purposes. Hence he would use any feeling, and here his delight in Mara's trust suits his purposes perfectly.
    Anyway, I'm so glad you liked it, especially the ending. I really had a hard time to decide how to end this story, so I'm glad you thought it came out well :p
     
  20. blank101

    blank101 Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 20, 2008

    [face_good_luck] @};- @};- Yaay Kataja! Congrats on the Golden Yoda for Best Child @};- @};- [face_good_luck]

    [face_peace] =D= Well-deserved on a fantastic vignette[face_peace] =D=
     
  21. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    [face_blush] Thank you so much!!! [:D] I still can't believe it!

    And thanks to all of you who voted for me!!! I'm so honored!!!

    [:D] [:D] [:D]
     
  22. Bath_Tub_Gin

    Bath_Tub_Gin Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 21, 2009
    That's great!

    What a fantastic moment. :)
     
  23. kataja

    kataja Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 4, 2007
    Bath_Tub_Gin - Thank you! I'm glad you liked! [:D]
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.